December 2008 - Its not wind they are smiling.

[JamInMyWellies]

Here we go ladies Rosmerta suggestion.

hello.

I won't join the weight thread because I don't really have much to lose (not boasting - am just very lucky) - but am a bit jealous of it! Please can you promise not to have too much fun without me?!!!

Verso - pleased your night was better than your day.

Can I spill my head?...I think it's cathartic just writing stuff down so feel free to skim down to the next post

The baby thing seems to be going fine - getting used to the sleep/feed stuff, and I'm totally in love with Phoebe. I love to snuggle her and when she cries it breaks my heart. My problem is Lucy. She is not really responding to me very well - I have to ask her loads of times to do something, she's getting quite ignorant, she only does what she's told when I threaten naughty corner or count to 3 (no idea why that works - we've never even decided what happens if we get to 3!). I feel like I'm losing control and can't discipline her and she doesn't seem to respect me. I feel like all I do is tell her off. But at the same time I still feel bad for neglecting her (P's feeding and changing times etc), so that's probably why I'm being a bit softer on Lucy or at least why she can pick up that she can be badly behaved around me because I feel guilty. I have even had the thought that I don't really like her at the moment and that I prefer Phoebe (cue tears rolling down horribly guilty bad parent cheeks). I know that is a dreadful thing to say and I know I love Lucy to bits, but I just can't enjoy her at the moment like I used to. I hate myself for thinking this. Before P was born I was worried that I wouldn't love her as much as I love L, but now it's the other way round and I deserve to die for having such horrid thoughts.
What can I do?

Oh Trace!! I am having the same thing with Freddie. He is being much more naughty than usual and I sometmes don't have the time or energy to discipline him. I have been told that it gets easier as they get more used to the new baby.

jj I know, I am just trying to imagine looking after 8 edmunds!!
trace sorry, don't really have any advice, knowing sod all about toddlers and their behaviour. I am sure it will not last for ever though. Maybe when P gets more interactive she will feel more involved? all i can advise is seriously don't be so hard on yourself!

LadyT! - I really missed being at the party. However, it sounds like you met my oldest and bestest friend who I was meant to be going with. She is my link to D. We grew-up in the same village and have been friends since we were 8. Welived together for our first few years in London. Through her I met D and we have all been on several holidays together. She was bridesmaid at my wedding and he DJed. The funny thing is that a few months ago, when I figured out who you might be, I asked her if she had ever met you through D. She said she thought she had once and asked how I knew you. I was too embarrassed (and protective of my privacy) to say MN so I garbled something about an ante-natal group [blushGod I am annoyed i was not there!

My toddler also off the rails. Lovely with dd but I have to ask a million times for things, he steals my food for the sake of it, deliberately spills things, throws things, pushes other children etc. He knows it is wrong but just does it again. The lovely dec 06 ladies who went through all this when our 06 babies were born assure me it is a normal part of having their world turned upside down and it settles eventually.

We can def make pizza on the commune. LadyT I always picture you as some sort of style queen, can you weave clothes for us all from hemp and organic lentils? I also seem to recall you coached a football team so maybe we could name you childrens' coordinator to play mad games with the older kids (babies will of course we worn in slings as their mothers dig parsnips)

Mmm baby vomit, and just as I was about to embark on a tale of last night's sleep deprivation.

trace - i could have written every word of your post about your feelings towards dd1. i have been wracked with guilt at times. i guess it must be normal but it is so hard. my dd1 is getting a bit better so hopefully there is light at the end of this particular tunnel .

LT you could be poet laureate!

Trace i'm the same but otherway round ds1 is being a dream and so lovely to me while dh away where as ds2 as sweet a baby as he is is not as settled as ds1 was so I don't feel like I'm bonding with him as well as I did with ds1. I can't help comparing the 2 of them will this stop. Does anyone else have this. Don't get me wrong I do love him.

Oh and good news we are coming down to London in the half term will be staying in Greenwich.

Trace; completely agree, DS1 can be a little sod at times, esp first thing in the morning and before bed (tired and hungry I guess). He's great when out and about (playgroups are my saviour atm) but is pushing DH and I big time at home. We'ce decided to get a lot firmer over bad behaviour )we use time out wjhich seems to work) while at the same time giving him lots of cuddles and doing stuff with him. I'll let you know if it makes any difference...

he has bags of energy atm and I don't have any!

and I can empathise with liking your baby more, Max is a most cuddlesome thing and doesn't shout, kick or throw cars . I went through a stage just after Max was born when I didn't feel I liked DS1 at all, now I'm coming round . It is such a massive change for them, but it's hard to be sympathetic when you're being screamed at!

thanks Kayz, Veggie,Indith,arti and effie* - it's good to know that someone else has some not-particularly-kind thoughts towards their offspring. It just is so scary to say it - like I should be thrown out of The Motherhood for not having equal feelings towards them.
Only yesterday I saw my CPN and told her how well I was, and today I'm a weeping wreck!

Trace That was my biggest fear...getting fed up with the firstborn! So far pretty good but you are much further down the line than me. I think it takes a while for the bigger one to realise that the baby is here to stay so I am not counting any chickens just yet! Don't feel guilty about disciplining Lucy. I think that that is probably what she is wanting you to do in her funny little way. Just to show her that you still see that she is there! Hope that all makes sense!!

I'm going to get Heidi weighed tomorrow. I also want them to look at her slightly rashy body. I'm sure it is nothing to worry about but she looks a bit blotchy on her trunk. Also, one of her nipples has a little white spot in the center of it and there is a fairly large lump behind it. It doesn't seem red or hot and she doesn't get upset when I touch it...any ideas?

Afternoon,

DS still struggling with his cough and cold, so had another bad night. He only settled at midnight and was then up 3 times and was then ready for the day at 5am Indith I know how your feeling, its hellish at he mo.

DH sort of apologised but is still in bad books. He's due home from work soon and has faithfully promised I can go back to bed for a couple of hours, EBM ready in fridge although DS refusing bottle thanks to his cold!

My bags are packed for the commune, I';; kidnap tasty GP and bring him along for emergency medical things , we'll kep him locked in a barn

summer thanks for the weight loss thread...I'm off there in a minute.
verso good luck with the weigh in.
jumpjockey DS not a fan of the dummy either, I've given up with it now.

trace I have the same problem with DD at the moment. Somedays she drives me to distraction. DH thinks I overeact about how naughty she can be. I keep thinking its an attention think because of Harry as she is very good with him so must be taking her jealousy/frustrations out with me.

Have been struggling to catch up - save that Daisy was horrified by what your DH said! Like others I think a very hard kick where it hurt...I shall come to the commune esp if tasty GP man is there. Reminds me of my friend and I'd plan to kidnap James McEvoy from Shameless and keep him in my basment. Perhaps I shall bring HIM too. My contribution will be making the commune look nice and redecorating every few months

Kayz I hope your DH's job is safe and you get some news soon.

Trace and Arti I totally understand what you are saying re; elder DC. I could happily spend all my time with babyL as she si so easy and I am lacking in patience with my other 2 (although still adore them obv.) but finding that element getting easier and that they annoy me less with each passing day.

I was amused to pick up a voicemail from the baby hearing test people just now. They advised that I bring "a bottle of something to relax baby" before the hearing test. Made me immediately think of LadyT and her spot of cheerfulness. Would love to rock up with with a nice bottle of red wine...

Better go and spend some time with DS so he doesn't hate me.

Hello,

Ladies you are funny, I've been chuckling my way through the thread. I've been catching up as I've been suffering with a cold. I'm desperately crossing my fingers that DD doesn't get it.

Zoe I love that you sent your mum to 'cry' in the pantry! I'm also very jealous that you have a pantry, my dream house has a pantry

Trace Harry! Was that going to be DD's name if she was a boy? I'd probably have stumbled over the name and come up with something improbable.

Your pic is fantastic. I showed it to DH and said I want one like that! It might be a challenge for his non-professional photography skills.

sybil My DH similarly expects a big thank you when he has 'helped' me with 'my' jobs. It drives me mad!

Daisy Lucky you with a yummy gp, we can certainly make use of him at the commune .

turnip How funny they said to bring a bottle of something! Booze would have come immediately to my mind too.

kim I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. That's just an awful situation.

trace I wake DD before I go to bed if she's been asleep for a while. So far it has worked well and she's gone straight back to sleep afterwards [touch wood]!

Right best be off, duty calls... or rather screams...

Hello ladies,

Well... today has been the first day I have been all alone with Judah at home. We took my Mom to the airport this morning. Was really sad to see her go. I probably won't see her again for a year! Was a bit scared I wouldn't know what to do with the baby once I got home. But so far so good. We'll see how the next few days go.

Thanks for all your sympathies. I'm just hoping that they can remove the tumor, do the chemo and my friend can get well.

Totally bummed I can't come to the meet up on Thursday. I've been craving some face to face conversation with other human beings. Maybe next time.

trace so sorry to hear that Lucy is acting up. Could you possibly set aside a little time for a mother/daughter date for just the two of you? I have a friend with 4 daughters and it's something that they've been doing for a while. They try to have a date set aside every few weeks for each girl and the DH and DW alternate so they both get some one on one time. Seems to work for them.

daisy I can't believe your DH! Hopefully you'll get a good nap this afternoon.

JJ/SL I thought EIGHT , I don?t know how those with other children manage it, let along having 7 others. And I heard she?s planning on breast feeding them all ? she won?t do anything else all day! (although as Kayz suggested, she can eat ice cream whilst BF )

Turnip please please take the bottle of red (and a secret video camera), their faces would be a picture!! evil

My contribution to the commune would be counting (children, number of nappies remaining so I could ask Bisou to make more (hope she?s ok, is she back singing now?), number of lentils in stock etc). Plus I would ask DH to bring us fresh veggies (but he?d have to leave them at the gate and not come in). Oh, and I could try and bring my pantry for jolly

OK, off to look at the weight loss thread ?

Hello all,
have tried extremely hard to catch up but to be honest have really skim read , but a couple of key comments did stick in my mind!

daisy Strewth! There needs to be a proper grovel-ish, present-in-hand, cooking-dinner-for-you type of apology please!!

Turnip def take a bottle of red along! that would be funny!

Zoe Very funny that bit about your mum in the pantry! totally something I would get my Mum to do!

Kimberley how awful for your friend - I hope things turn a corner for her

I think I only caught the tail end of the commune thing - but so far I think i'm ok to not join in, however if this cycling obsession gets any worse than it has of late, i'll be there with bells on and dragging daisy's GP along by the ankles!
Not sure who had the bubs with the cold - or several of you I think, but it's exactly what my ds had - awful - constant cycle of short feeds cause he couldn't breath through the nose, terrible cough, vomit after coughing and it was particularly bad in the morning and then the afternoons were filled with wind and crying! Nice - just shaking it off (well the last of the horrible cough) now after about 10 days- 2 weeks!! I know what you're going through....
Anyway, still having one good night then one awful one... I was told / read somewhere that if the baby is kept awake more during the day it won't make a difference to the sleeping / settling at night? I tend to think this is rubbish as his shocking party nights seem to follow a day of absolute sleepy bliss - does anyone have any thoughts on this? I def think he sleeps more and is more settled at night if he HAS been kept awake at daytime but most books tell me it doesn't work that way??
Ok, off to read the weight loss and meet up threads!

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Well hello

Pingu am really sorry I don't think I'm going to be able to make cinema tomorrow now - but maybe next week? Will see you on Thurs anyway so maybe we can plot then. Hope the hearing test goes ok.

Cat am sure it's easier said than done to worry less and let T cry. Really hope it works.

JJ I found our thermometer in the fridge if it's any help to you. There's no hope for me.

Rosmerta and Olipop hope you've recovered from your parties. Spiderman sounds fantastic - my DH is very jealous and said "so it is possible to get adult sized spidermen costumes" like it's something he's been wondering for a while. Worrying.

Kimberly I'm sorry about your friend. Hope the treatment starts making a difference.

Trace I think what you are feeling is completely natural. Please don't worry about it.

DD and I had various checks and jabs today - and I had prize idiot Dr who had a bow tie (should have been a warning) and didn't talk to me at all but instead showed off to medical student with him. Including turning to her and saying 'one of things that can happen after meningitis is profound deafness so I'm just checking for that' at which point I nearly fell off chair. Grr. Oh for tasty Dr. I used to have TV Dr - he looked like someone off ER. Although was profoundly useless but so pretty that it made you feel better just seeing him.

Also old lady came up to me in maritime museum whilst I was feeding DD and told me to switch sides because I'd get sore . Which reminds me - Veggie if you're in Greenwich you'll be v close to me. Hurrah!

Turnip bottle of red would be just the job...

Oh and I know you couldn't care less are dying to see the cake I made. It's on my profile page. Still haven't shut up about it. DH is weary - and I think will insist we buy a cake next year so he doesn't have to live through me banging on about how great a job I did. In my defence is only because I had such low expectations as am normally completely crap at this sort of thing.

Also Kayz I can't believe you have 5 stone to loose - surely there would be nothing of you? You really don't look like it and a vanishing Kayz would not be a good thing...

Yeah Lal I am classed as clincally(sp) obese. One BMI test thing classed me as morbidly obese but I think that may be a bit out. It's just round my tummy which really annoys me. I had to get some size 18 trousers and the are really baggy round my legs.

Apparently the GP might give me weight loss tablets but I'm not sure if they really work.

DH has been told that they will find out tomorrow what the meeting was about, I am dreading it. But it could just be that they have to take a week or 2 off work when Honda shut.

I am out of wine!!! I do have that babycham(still!!) but it has a popping cork and I'll probably break a window!!

Oh but I do have Southern comfort and some lemonade!!

great cake lal

good luck for tomorrow Kayz

DH is out tonight but managed to get DS1 into bed before he left - he has been a little s*d all afternoon (DS1 not DH) though prob my fault for trying to get housework and stuff done. Anyway he went to sleep in about 2 secs flat so all that shouting and screaming must have worn him out! DS2 alseep on lap and I've been foraging in the kitchen for sugar (note I am not posting this on the weight loss thread )

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Just a quick one as the house is in meltdown here (the older ones, naturellement....)

Kayz, you are bloody GORGEOUS whatever your weight my love. Have seen the photos so I know . A few extra lbs is to be expected post partum so don't worry . Besides you are not alone with having stones to lose - I need to lose several so we can be in it for the long haul together.

Trace and everyone else struggling with their feelings - I could have written EXACTLY your post 2 years ago when DD2 rocked up. She was so much easier and more rewarding than her big sister had been as a baby and was as a stroppy 2 year old. I hated myself for having those feelings but I think they were magnified by huge hormonal changes and lack of sleep. After a couple of months when I had settled down, she had got used to her new role as big sister and we were all on a more even keel, I started to feel much more interested in her again and noticed her funny quirks and interesting things much more than the inevitable strops over putting coats on or whatever. It does pass, honestly, but I had terrible feelings towards DD1 which made me very guilty. I suspect some of it is to do with protectiveness towards the baby and irritation at the big one for not meeting my high expectations. Even now when she is driving me round the twist (thankfully not that often) I have to remind myslef that, although she's the big one, she's still very small (not yet 4) so I shouldn't expect too much.

Hope that rambling makes some sense. Off to fatties thread now. Back later for this one.