November 2008 - Cooing babies, tired ladies

[LackaDAISYcal]

now I'm off to catch up.

aargh sorry I meant vbab, not obs, in that last bit of my post - am getting my names mixed up as much on here as I do in RL (where I am terrible with names.

I think owen is having a growth spurt as he is now 5 weeks 2 days and today has been feeding every 2.5 hrs. I hope this ends soon as the milk bar feels empty

Hi everyone. Is anyones baby having screaming episodes in the night? Niclet has had about 6 so far - I have no experience of these things but I think they might be night terrors but what could cause that? He's not had any bad experiences to cause them apart from birth and hospital - the tube going in was traumatic.

Last night we put him in a cot for the first time!!! He's been in a carry cot until now. So I can understand a scream upon waking from light sleep for last night but can't understand previous ones. I think, on reflection, that we should have put him in the cot for day naps for a day or 2 before the big night sleep. The mobile bothered him when he woke too - so I sat with him watching it, cuddling / stroking and reassuring him that the scary thing hanging above him is actually very fasinating and plays music too!!! Poor thing, it's got to be frightening to have a bird, monkey, frog and big moving leaves hanging above you!!!

He's slept fine in it today so I'm confident that this small transition (he's still in our room) will be fairly smooth and will be fine in a few days.

Plan to take him to work tomorrow as it's a friends birthday. I haven't taken him yet!!!

Oh, vbab, I'm sorry for your DS and parent issues. I only have J so can not help with toddler issues but you have my best wishes and big hugs.

Tegan I had that too at just 5 weeks, it lasted 2 days and was extremely tiring. He started to feed every 1.5 / 2 hrs!!! Nightmare. Just relax and go with it, I promise it won't last.

Thamks nic was starting to think this could be the end of my bf experience

reluctant & nic - thank you so much .

Well ladies I went to my mum & dad's this morn to get DS so DH could take him to a fun swimming session (ponds forge, sheffield). Well we all acted like nothing had happened which is good I guess but just wish they (mum and dad) could be supportive and not hurtful even if they just dont understand. I stopped for a couple of hours doing my usual filling in paperwork for them (one of my many eldest sibling jobs).

DS has been fantastic again. He loved going on the supertram and going to ponds forge, both for the first time. He then helped me cook a full Sunday dinner. YES ladies I cooked and with DS helping/getting in the way. It was gorge.
I for the 1st time bathed A with DS. I normally dont because he has special bath stuff for his eczema but I think every once and a while Infacare baby bath would do any harm. DS loved it and didnt want me to take A out. He even tried getting hold of her leg . He cried. Sweetheart. I sorted A out quickly and went back and played with DS with the bubbles. Unfortunately though DS hurt A later when he was trying to duck a kiss goodbye from his cousin and headbutted A . Boy did she scream. Poor DS he just wanted to cuddle her. Accidents do happen. DS went to bed at 6.50pm after DS said he was poorly and tired , the norm is 7.30. Must of been a big day/weekend for him .

A has been her usual wonderful, smiley, sleepy, hyper when awake and half feeds self. I/we tried the bedtime routine of feed, bath, feed (in dark bedroom) and bed for 7pm. All of which went fine except she wouldnt fall asleep in the bedroom and after a few attempts fetched her downstairs. Moments later she fell asleep on her dad without an encouragement, the little minx! She's just woken back up by just laid there doing nothing.

Take care ladies. Now going to have a bath then watch the new Above suspicion program at 9 then bed at 10. I'm back on mon-fri 2/3am feeds on my own as DH back at work tomorrow .

Tegan Sam was like that last week when he was just over 5 weeks old - although I am bottle-feeding, he was guzzling tons and then screaming for more a couple of hours later - it lasted a few days and he is now back to 3oz every 3 hours!!

Reluctant so glad the vomiting has receded for you - if it was pyloric stenosis, it would definitely be getting worse, not better - although you have my complete sympathies as having a puky baby is just a nightmare - I hated taking DS1 out as I was so afraid he was going to puke everywhere! Fortunately Sam is not a puker and likes to keep hold of his milk

Vbab so sorry you are having troubles - would it be possible for you to have some breathing space from your parents for a while? There was a thread on MN last week about the effect of a 2nd child on the older one - and that recommended focusing on the older one as much as possible - even ignoring the baby (as long as they are safe, warm and fed). Plus, apparently it can take the older child a year to adjust completely so don't expect too much from your DS at this stage. Me and DH are trying to spend as much 1-2-1 time with DS1 as possible - for example DH took him swimming and they washed DH's car together today, I played playdoh with DS1 for ages this afternoon in a seperate room from DH and Sam and am going to take DS1 to a soft play area tomorrow morning whilst DH looks after Sam. I am not the expert by any means and we are still having a few problems with DS1 but it is definitely improving.

Yorky/Barbs I am also flying solo this week for the first time - maybe we can hold hands together! DH has been working from home since Sam was born but has actually not had that much work to do, so apart from one day where he had to go to Birmingham for a meeting, he has pretty much been 'hands-on', taking DS1 to nursery, doing the shopping etc. But, the project he is working on kicks off this week so he will be away quite a lot....I am dreading it tbh! I haven't taken them both out together yet by myself and the whole logistics of it scares me so I bet I end up staying in which is no good for DS1

Obs sorry things have not improved...my friend had a DS who was really unsettled for the first 4 months of his life - they kept taking him to the doctors and were told one thing after another - but nothing worked. Eventually he was diagnosed with lactose intolerance and he became a different child once they switched to soya formula. However, I am not sure if bf babies can be lactose intolerant (I am showing my ignorance here )

Right, off to start a diet thread for us ladies - will be back in a mo with a link

here is the diet thread - please come and join me

Added/changed pics on profile.

vbab, sorry things are still fraught. AS the youngest child my parents were always pretty relaxed about my life choices as they had worn out their interfering on the older three by the time I got round to doing stuff. I hope things improve. Maybe a candid chat with your mum telling her how the stuff with DS is making you feel and asking for her help on how to resolve it; make her feels she is being part of the solution rather than the problem?

I had a fantastic morning......kids were up at 6.30, fed bumble then out of bed by 7.15. DH took DS1 fishing and dropped DD off at the PILs so they were gone by 8.45. I had a cup of tea, fed bumble again, put him down for a nap, and though "oooh, I'll just shut my eyes for half an hour".....and woke up with bumble needing his next feed at 12.30 pm but . He's been a bit iof a velcro baby today though and hasn't really wanted to be put down. Gave me an excuse not to do the housework

obs.....sorry about your continued unsettledness. If it's just general colickness (which seems to be a catch all term afaics) it should settle around 12-14 weeks.....so not long now, eh?

RI...here my HV came twice, and if I need to see her I can either call or see her at the weekly clinic. I've made it to clinic once and only cos it was his six week check. Got jabs on Wednesday this week.

I've signed up to your weight loss thread ceebee. By virtue of you being first to post, I vote you are Dietmaster General, keeping us all in line

pics are lovely vbab ...they are both very cute.

I'll try and get a copy of our Venture pics posted.

Daisy lol, I will be cracking my whip every Sunday night for those weight loss figures

RI I saw my HV twice - if I want to see her again, I can ring her or pop into one of the drop-in clinics they run.

Forgot to say that we actually had a lie-in this morning until 8.15 - unheard of since DS1 was born 2 and a half years ago!! Never thought it would happen with 2 children DH fed Sam at 6.15am, put him back in his cot, DS1 came into our room at about 6.45, climbed into our bed and we all fell back asleep - was so lovely

vbab. Lovely pics. The 'canvas' one is dead cute, you gotta get it done. Great idea for an xmas gift. Sorry about parental issues. Your mum sounds opposite of mine in terms of pills, mine would think I was constantly suicidal if I told her I was taking AD's.

twinkling, some quick advice on sleeping...well, with ds1 we got him a sprung mattress for his cot (before it was a foam one) and it made the world of difference. He loved it and the dt's have also taken to it very well. Seem to prefer it to the Moses basket by far. Also ds1 in own room helped him sleep (at 7 months). We started with naps in cot and progressed to all night in cot. I did enjoy my evenings with ds1, and dh and I enjoyed having him in our bed too. We co-slept till he was 7 months and didn't start putting him to bed early till he was in cot/ own, but I guess with having a toddler already and twins, I am more keen to get them down earlier so I can have a little peace and quiet in the day!

feeding. have forgotten various posts on this, but I have noticed a massive difference recently. babies a lot more unsettled at boob and afterwards. baby awissa cries on the boob and afterwards a lot, reflux, giving gaviscon, causes as many tears as the blimming reflux and it is a nightmare to sterilise the syringe, the pot to mix it in, mix it all up with cool, boiled water (cooling down boiling water is a nightmare in itself). ds2 has also been a lot more unsettled after feeding, but is only on gripe water. the docs are not happy with the weight he is putting on though . he has dropped from 50th to 9th centile. i have plenty of milk so the quantity can't be a problem. am feeding him on demand (always was), but not going to try a feeding routine as yet, to try and get his weight up.

obs, sorry to hear of tough time. Can relate. I got 30 mins sleep between 1am and 5.30am last night. Between the 2 of them , someone was always up. another person i know from mnet said that maybe was chocolate at xmas as her twins have been unsettled. is this possible? i am definitely beginning to wonder if it is something to do with my diet (which has been very sugar filled past few weeks).

friends threw me a surprise tea party y'day. it wasn't really a baby shower as they had already all given me loads of gifts, but was just to surprise me and make me feel special. it was wonderful. they also all brought a meal for me to freeze - great idea, so thoughtful and sweet. i feel much cheered up, though really tired as usual. had a nap today, but back off to sleep now...

night night one and all.

vbab your pics are lovely.

As you know I would/should never turn to my parents for emotional support. It actually makes it less upsetting for me now, as I don't seek it, or their approval. It is very hard, I know. WHen I was in hosp before having Imi I so wanted the sort of mum who would come and brush my hair and say something comforting- but it was never going to happen.

Agree with ceebs your little boys adjustment will take time, but sounds like you are on the right track. Hope things get better for you.

Do we have a date for out meet-up?

oh, hi tegan (and pinky)

agree every 2.5 hours not that bad! Bumble goes anything from every hour to five hours between feeds, although he is typically every 3 hours from feed to feed. Hang in there though, it'll pass and try not to worry about being "empty" his sucking will make the milk he needs.

merry, sorry to hear about your Bfing woes. I'm sure you know this, but some babies start off on one line and then drop to their natural line (called catch down growth), so 50th to 9th isn't that much of an issue. Provided he is happy and healthy, pooing and weeing and is gaining, albeit slowly, then he is probably fine. And, he is still on the charts, which by their nature have big and small babies. Something you might want to look at though is oversupply issues. Bumble ticked all the boxes on the symptoms so I've been doing block feeding for about a week now (started off two feeds per side but now on three), and already we have an improvement in the amount of refluxy/windy/colicky symptoms and bumble is a lot more settled. Not sure how it would work with twins though, or if oversupply is a common concern with twins (I would imagine it would be due to the amount of stimulation going on). If you think it is a concern, then maybe ask on here as there are a few twin feeders around.

meet up.....a Friday would be good for me, but not 30th Jan as we are off to centerparcs for my 40th birthday . Other than that, anytime. If not Friday, then Tuesday or Thursday good.

Merry - can you use EBM for Gaviscon? I express 2oz before first morning feed and another 1 - 1.5 at the second - that's enough for the day with 0.5 in reserve. I tried Niclet on boiled water and he hated it - EBM goes down so much better.

hello
so meet up somewhere at the end of this month, then?

feeding.I do that thing with re-offering the same boob. Didn't realise it had a 'technical' term- I found it worked well with DD1 and just do it for DD2- especially if she doesn't have that long pause then wobbly chin thing they do during a really good feed (I'm sure that has a technical term, too). I don't know if that's of any use. I hope things settle down for you, merry

agree that gaps between feeds can vary quite a lot. Imi goes quite a long time betwen feeds but sometimes has an hours break then wants another big guzzzle then nothing for around four hours or so- she especially likes a long afternoon tea!

The other thing I noticed with DD1's reflux was that she was happier with more frquent small feeds than big ones, so I guess this may be why I would offer the same boob again. Don't know if that is practical with Gaviscon and twins etc.but might help??

Am Really struggling girls
Have decided that DS is being handled too much. He is just not sleeping at all through the day really and I really want him to.
I feel the only way to do that is to get him into a cot.
So tonight I have tried getting him to settle on his own instead of in my arms.

Fed at 1030 grumbled and moaned until 1am. Slept from 1-3.30, took another feed and has now been grumbling/crying since then!
Should I take him in my arms and let us both out of this nightmare? Am I making a big mistake.
Co-sleeping until 7 months merri
God I really am making a mistake aren't I?
How do you get them to sleep on their own during the day then?

He has been crying on and off since I came down at 6.43, now 7.05. 20+mins
I should just go take him in my arms shouldn't I, or will that undo all my efforts? I don't mind the co sleeping you see, quite like it and think I might regret and miss giving up my cuddles, but I really think he needs to sleep during the day????

Worst is that last night was really good. Fed at 1030, again at 3.30 then not until 8!!
Now I have gone and cocked it up haven't I?

He seems to have settled. Been 5 mins now.
But now, I think, I have decided that I don't want to give up my co sleeping.
I will try instead to get him to sleep in a pram/cot during the day, using controlled crying (how else do you do it, suggestions welcome) but am crying cos I have put us both through this for nowt

Oh vbab can I join you in the struggle with useless DHs ( or is your improving?) Mine is just driving me mead.
Last night he whined about changing a nappy 'can't you just do it, you up anyway' hen whined cos there was 'nothing in it!'
Then humphed every now and again cos DS was still whining 'can't you give him the dummy or something?'
That on top of the ridiculously exspensive car that is now sat outside my door that we really needn't have. Nothing wrong with the one we had, except DH had to spend some weekends fixing it.
And the fact that we keep having rows in front of DD who says 'stop shouting mummy' and I just can't cos DH is just being so selfish.
Yesterdays row was cos he wanted to watch that programme called Demons. I told him it was unsuitable for DD and he refused to turn it off, 'it's fine'. Eventually I turned the telly off, cue big row over telly???!
He is just so selfish he couldn't see that it was not good for her, he just knew he wanted to watch it.
He did concede later that he had been dumb and that I had been right, but later is no good after you have caused a shouting match in front of a 2 year old who is really starting to be affected by it all

I am going to go and cuddle my boy who is crying again.

Thanks to daisy for her lovely, as ever informative post re my bf.
Love to vbab with her parents, not being supportive. I have no idea what that is like. But your posts make my heart weep. My love to you.
And love to twinkling, with her ds not sleeping. I sure DO know what that is like. and you have all my sympathy and hugs.

Last night was bad. Dh and I sat in bed together, BOTH OF US SOBBING. Dh said he can't cope anymore. I said neither could I. He said he regretted having ds2. I said I did too. He wants me to tell Gp today that we can not cope.
This is very significant. For my dh, who can cope with anything to say this. VERY VERY serious.
It may be 6-8 weeks before we see a paed. Apparently the waiting list is bad at the mo.
I might ask my GP today for name of whom we need to see. See if I can get it done privatley, through my BUPA I have at work.

Am off now to take ds to school. This is the first morning (remmeber that my lovely sil has been doing the morning school run for me, post birth). So this is the first day that I will do morning AND afternoon school run. atleast I am up and dressed. make up on. and sexy boots on. To walk to school IN THE SNOW !!

morning all

twinkling I have to be honest and say that I really don't agree with controled crying in a baby so young. are you talking about actually just letting him cry it out until he goes to sleep??? have you tried the "Shush, shush" method of going in, placing your hand on his chest, shush, shushing and then retreating once he is calm??? I have always done this and used in conjunction with cues (dark room, soothing music) it works. Have you got one of these

www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/3492206/Trail/searchtext%3ETOMY+BABY.htm

I have a similar one, and it is great.

Someone also told me (when I was trying to get DS1 to sleep in his own cot) that placing a small beany toy on their chest instead of your hand helps to calm them as well. I never needed to do this, but can see the logic behind it....

Back in a bit, got to do school run then power walk in park....xx