November 2008 - Cooing babies, tired ladies

[LackaDAISYcal]

now I'm off to catch up.

Oh and if theres going to be a meet up in the kingston/epsom area Id be interested

Pinkglow we are going to meet up in Kingston in January - so far its me, Monkey, Dozy and Obs who are in the area so you are more than welcome to join us. We need to fix a date ladies!

Merry in this cold weather Oz sounds like heaven - go go go!!! With regards to doing GF an hour later - I am probably going to try it 7.30-7.30 when M starts sleeping through 7-7 so DH can be home for his bath time, otherwise he won't see him.

For those who want to loosely follow GF and have the evenings to yourselves, not sure if you have seen Dozy's "GF-lite" which is basically make sure you feed them at the right times even if you have to wake them but apart from that let them sleep when they want except for 5-7pm. Dozy does this still work now they are getting older??

DH and I don't like spending the night apart but we have done once and M slept from 11pm - 6am so I actually got great sleep!! (He had been screaming from 7-11pm and hasn't slept that long since)

We had a rubbish night with M when he went down at 11pm - he drank 6oz (lots for him!) and so I thought he would last till about 3/4am but he woke at 1am and grizzled then I fed him at 2, he woke again at 4 and then at 5 until we finally got up at 6.15 - stupid stupid mummy didn't even think to check his nappy which had soaked through to his clothes (doh - he had drunk 6oz!!) . BUT he is currently asleep and has been since 11.15am - needed settling a couple of times but thats ok by me - DH and I have just tidied the house and wierdly agreed we really enjoyed it!

Enough ramble from me...

Just bookmarking, back soon

Hi all, I have only read through this new thread, so, sorry for not keeping up with you all. It is hard at this time of year, isn't it?

I liked that story about the tear duct too daisy. J has both blocked, though not too badly, they seem much better these past couple of days But I still might give it a go, if he will let me near them. He really squirms when i try to clear his eys of the goop.

he had been really good these past few days but I had a bad morning with him when I was really losing my rag with his groaning. Nothing wrong with him?? so why groan so??
It got to the point where I had to set him aside and let him shout it out. I just couldn't cope.
It is so stupid too, cos it is at 7am, but I am just soo tired I am not ready to admit that it is time to get up. I also think that if some of you guys are doing the whole routine thing, though I am not keen on the restrictions throughout the day, surely J should be taught that 7am is just not getting up time in our house? Or am I being silly?
What do I DO WITH THIS GROANING?? oops caps on.
He has been fed, clean nappy, winding not working.......what is left??
He seems to be struggling with something. Have tried gripe water for a few days now but, no bananas (is that the saying?)
Doc said try infacol but I am sure it is not colic. Will give it a go anyway but really feel it is a placebo for me more that a cure for J
Help!

I too would like evenings to myself, but with J not going in a moses basket, pram or cot, how do I do that??

Oh dear, I am just full of pleas for help today.

Should I stop co sleeping and try to force him to settle in a cot? Boy would that be an awful few nights. He would just complain and complain until he exhausted himself to sleep.

Twinkling not sure if this would work but when M groans at night or when we are settling him sometimes playing the radio on a static station helps - same theory as white noise.

Merry....tallulah had two girls, 6lbs 7oz and 5lbs 15oz on 31 Dec. She hadn't any names when she texted me on 1st Jan (I think they were struggling for one girls name, let alone 2!!). Twin 2 was in intensive care due to breathing difficulties, but she sounded upbeat about her coming out soon. I'll let you know if I hear any more

evening all boy, are we getting chattier again!!!! I haver a major problem - DH is so fecked off with me being on MN most evenings. I try to limit it in the day to when the kids are at school so as not to interfere with them, so the only chance I really get is in the evening. Not a problem when he gets in from work at 8pm, but as he has been off for 3 weeks holidays, he can see the extent of my addiction

Anyway, tough luck, have said I will do no more than half hour tonight........then we are watching a DVD - the holiday with Kate winslet and Jude law - anyone seen it???

pinkglow you are 10 mins away from me, and if you like, choc obs and I meet quite regularily - please ocme along, how about mine on MOnday 12th Jan 9can't do this monday, as DS starts new nursery) CAT or facebook me for my address, but would be great to meet you.

Autumn perhaps you can come as well seeing as you are at your parents?????

choc with DS1 we changed to routine from 0730-0730 so DH could see him - TBH, with Tiger, it will be 7-7 as that fits in with school runs, which is why I love GF lite as you can adapt to your own needs. Due to the nature of DH's job, he only really sees the kids in the mornings before work and at weekends, but he is very very good at doing 1 on 1 stuff with them all. Our deal is that he has to leave the office at 5pm on Weds and Fridays so he can get home in time to bath the kids, that is usually when I will go for a run.

Speaking of excercise, I went to TK Maxx today to buy some new gym stuff - had to get workout pants in XL my belly looks 6 months pregnant still but it has spurred me on to get going come Monday.

pinky glad to see you posting as was wondering about you the other day, sorry to hear about Imi (lovely nickname BTW) but glad she seems on the mend....

ladybuzz Sorry to hear you have CP in the family, how is it??? I think, (but don't quote me) that LO will be ok if you have had it, and due to you passing on immunity for the first 3 or 6 months....very vague, but a friend has a LO when the older sibling had a very bad case and baby didn't catch it, I am sure that is what she said.....

twinkling a routine doesn't have to be bad. Of course, GF get a lot of bad press, and I totally agree with a lot of the naegativity surrounding her (no eye contact or cuddles in middle of the night, purlease!) BUT her feeding patterns and sleeping ones are bloody brilliant. Tiger is 9 weeks old and has 3 sleeps in the day between 0700-1900 which includes a log one at lunchtime of up to 3 hours. This means I can spend time with other kids, do stuff around the house or sleep . Plus you get your evenings for the grown up's. Routine isn't for everyone I know, but I have such a happy, chilled out little girl that i know is down to routine (she isn't grazing on food all day long and cat napping but getting structured ful feeds and sleep which from experience, I KNOW makes all the difference). RIGHT WILL SHUT UP NOW

Where is vbab she hasn't posted for a few days and I know was having a bad time of it...........

Ladybuzz sorry, forgot to say that I won't be needing your nappies as have jsut fouind out that our council will give you £50 if you use reuseable nappies, so I am going for new (probably minky biorth to potty) depending on the demo I shall be having very very soon! thanks anyway though....

helloo
well Imi has a case of the enormous exploding pooos tooday! She pooed herself right through to her outer snuggle suit in her sling in the park today. So back home for a complete change of clothes, then a feed and she promptly pooped that outfit, too! (she was wearing her diddy diapers today- definitley not bombproof, it would seeem!

Aside from that she is much better, and we have finally put batteries in her tiny love mobile and she loves it!

twinkling bedtime and getting up time are pretty much the only part of a baby's 'routine' that I "set". I just make it dark in the room when I mean bedtime. Imi settles herself after a feed, but as you know DD1 was a different story, and DS was almost sleeping 12 hours at nigth by this point, so they all take different times, but get it in the end. I leave the feeding and napping to them.

merri I think the advice you give to vbab is spot on. Giving lots of affection makes you feel happier, too, I find. It certainly reduces stress levels and creates a calmer atmosphere.

ladybuzz sorry to hear of CP.mine had it in the summer it's no fun. I know two peole who were in your situation (older dc and a baby around 8-10 weeks) and their babaies got a few spots- a very mild case of CP- hope this is the case for you.

Hi Dozy enjoy the film!

Hi Everyone,
I wonder if anyone has any tips about a problem we have at the moment. My baby, Theo, was born on 5th November, so is 8 1/2 weeks old. He had trouble breast feeding at first, but got into the swing, and i thought i'd pretty much cracked it.
About 2 weeks ago he started fussing on the breast, as if it hurt his mouth - he'd ping on and off and the doctor diagnosed thrush so we both were given medicine and it got a bit better. however, last few days, I have had a nightmare. In the afternoon/evening feeds (initially just the 7pm-ish feed, but creeping into the one before that) he's started doing this thing where he feeds well for five mins on one side, and then starts SCREAMING, arching his back, and going bright red in the face. I sit him up or put him over my shoulder and he sometimes stands up rigidly, screaming. But he does calm down pretty fast - until the hunger makes him cry again. Then when i lie him down again to put him back on - he screams and screams and screams without ceasing - a different cry to the hunger cry, it's pain. I've tried different positions (that rugby ball one works slightly but not much, tried to feed him upright but didn't work at all) and just stopping trying to feed for a few minutes till he's hungry enough not to spot he's in pain - he sometimes takes a bit more but not much.

I thought it sounded like reflux, but he only ever does it while feeding, he barely cries otherwise, and weirdly, he'll happily take the feed from a bottle if i express it, without crying at all. Could he be associating the breast with pain, and not wanting to drink from it? could it be reflux, just without some of the other symptoms? will it pass? or will i have to start expressing feeds and bottle feeding him... (can't face that, it takes too long!)

I have had to give up the feeds yesterday, and just express while he screams, and bottle feed it. thank god for the pump...but i don't want to do it for ever and i really want to continue breast feeding.

Other symptoms are that he is very windy, and quite hard to burp sometimes. He vomits watery cottage cheesy stuff quite regularly, sometimes long after a feed, he complains like he's got wind and is then sick, but doesn't seem to like the feeling of being sick when it's like that. Other pukes are just milky.

any advice, ideas, gratefully received.

hi belinda . Congrats on your LO and welcome to the thread.

Might he have an ear infection? if there is any swelling in his ear, it will be sore when he is lying with the sore ear down iyswim?

or else it could be that the reclined position he is in for BFing is causing reflux while he feeds. Have you tried feeding him more upright....sitting straddling your knee and facing your boob, if you can imagine that.

there are lots of refluxy babies here, so hopefully someone will be along shortly to give you more advice.

Kellymom has some great information and resources for breastfeeding. It's worth saving in your favourite sites. I go there first for any problem I have and usually get an answer

wow jaunita at you being so close! We have probably passed each other in the street.

My email is daisybump at yahoo dot co dot uk. Drop me a line and we'll sort something out!

Or we might be at the baby cafe on Thursday at Moortown baptist church (I have to take DD with me as well though and it's a bit of a pain trying to keep an eye on her as she keeps trying to escape).

I have a new BFing expereince today.....a milk blister! Is there no end to it. Probably caused by oversupply which I'm trying to resolve. bumble has been more settled and less windy since I've been trying to get things sorted, but I think that's what's caused the milk blister.

hana, I'm obviously missing something with slings, but when I've had DS in the close baby carrier I can't do anything....that and he screams blue murder and doesn't settle. I think I'm going to have to sell mine as I can't see me getting any use out of them.

Good for you on the AP though. how does it work if you have more than one child?

I really must try to remember to attach DS when he is being all upset. I am just trying to put him down in seats, beanbags etc and it just doesn't work. To get anything done, I have to let him shout.
Over christmas I was at my parents so much, handing him over to Sis BF, that is now over and I am on my own.
I also really can't keep running away from my own home aND INTO MY MUMS B$gger caps again!
I keep being so late home that DH takes the opportunity for a pint, then I resent him his freedom and a vicous cycle begins where by we then argue and I don't want to come home to it, so I stay later at mums, so he goes to pub, so we argue. You get the picture.

So morning routine is ok, but how do you convince the LO that that is the deal? DS really does seem to have other ideas, and do you think I should put him in a cot?
How do I convince him that is a good idea???

Hi everyone
Merry That sounds great - will get cake (or similar)in!
hana thanks for that. Who will diagnose the tongue tie? ooh - and how often are you meant to see the hv? I saw one once and haven't heard anything since! Is that the norm?
routine Have now got evenings sorted 9pm - 12 is baby free (phew)He feeds midnight, 3/4 ish. No more sitting up in bed with him! Dozy Your daytime routine sounds fab - 3 hours to sleep/ mink about - wow! Am tempted!
hi belinda Sounds like you're having a tough time - hope you get some answers!

Will try and catch up on Monday posts later in AM ...

just feeding A at mo and wanting to post my latest drama!

i've still got a severe cough and slightly tired because on my lie in days DS always manages to wake me at 8am latest. Funny how on DH turn I get the kids downstairs without bothering him so he gets until at least 10am.

Anyway ... we went out for a family day to a farm/activity place. DS loved it and we had an "incident" free time. Also I felt me and DS restrengthened or very strained bond as I was playing with him a lot on the climbing frames and crawling through tunnels and so on . I'm a big kid really and love making DS so his hysterical and as we call it "mucky" laugh.

DS was stopping at mum's for the night so we went around. After about 30 mins of being there I was sat next to DS with hi s grapes and I chatted to him but I was close. DS hit me in the face and chest and told me to "go away mummy". I was a little upset (inside) but just moved away not saying a word. I thought good time to leave, not being nasty, as mum wanted us to get off so she could have her time anyway. Mum came in the room saw me getting my coat, said to DH "what's up" and he said DS has shown his "usual loving ways to his mum". Mum then took DS off in the kitchen telling him off and telling him to come say "sorry". Why? Nothing to do with her. I dealt with it. DS then came to me and I said "only come because you told him", which is correct. My dad huffed and walked off. I went on my knees to talk to DS, he didnt say sorry to but turned away. At which point my mum came back in the room saying "i'm fed up with this" and started lecturing me. WTF?!!!! She's fed up . I'm the one getting hit, kicked and shouted at by DS then lectured by my parents who keep saying their "i'm fed up with this" catchphrase and lecturing me. I for the first time stop my ground and said to mum "why am I getting lectured" and along the lines of WTF but polite. BRICK WALL. I ran upstairs to the bathroom and cried. Mum followed quickly with DS telling him he had made mummy cry and had better say sorry and give me a cuddle. WTF?! It's her and my dad's lack of support, interferring when I had dealt with a situation and nasty catch phrases/storming off that makes me cry not what DS had just done. I told her it was her and dad. At this point BRICK WALL but mum trying to cuddle me but the BRICK WALL still up and no understanding behind the eyes.

Me, DH and A left. Later my mum phones me to "discuss" . Ends up her not letting me have a say and telling me to talk back. So I do talk back nothing nasty but BRICK WALL and aparantly all my upset was because DH didnt take me for a cheap pub meal we planned on doing . WTF again?!! I know I shouldn't have but put phone down. She phoned again later. I got DH to answer saying I was in bath. She said "i need to get to doctors for some tablets as too fiery" .

I DO NOT NEED THE DOCTOR OR F*KING TABLETS. I NEED MY FAMILY'S SUPPORT. IF THEY CANNOT GIVE IT ME FOR WHATEVER REASON (POSSIBLE GRANDPARENTS SYNDROME) THATS FINE BUT AT LEAST STOP GIVING ME LECTURES WHEN I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG AND FEEL LIKE S*T!!!

So my lovely feelings of my day with DS got ruined and overshadowed by this s**t with my mum and dad. A was an angel while we were out and slept the whole time between feeds (not very GF I know).

Not looking forward to going to pick DS due to this s**t. Isn't it bad when you cant talk to your own family and it would make everyone feel better and justified if you started taking tablets.

sorry about war and peace and my bad grammar and spelling but it is 5ish.

vbab, that sounds like a horrible day. I agree, support from family is v important. Hope you manage to sort things out with your mum and dad soon.

lacksa - I'll e mail you. I think I will be at baby cafe this week - I went before Christmas when I was having trouble breastfeeding in the hope that the HV there might be able to help, but unfortunately she couldn't, and I went from having a lovely sleeping baby to a wide awake screaming baby who couldn't latch on!! I was a bit stressed that day and didn't manage to speak to any other mums or be at all sociable. Now that I have got breastfeeding established I feel ready to go back and actually speak to people this time!!

Am pleased as P only woke up once last night (although the 7 0'clock feed ended up being 6.40, couldn't stretch him any further). Waking once a night seems to be getting more common now, so there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Thanks for the advice re the CP Dozy & Pinky i'll just have to keep my fingers crossed that J has a mild dose if he does get them.
Vbab hugs to you sounds like a horrible day for you, I don't know what to suggest but I really feel for you.

Morning.
Sorry for not responding to anyone elses post. We are having a nightmare again, since we got back from sil's at NYE - awake 10pm-2/3am - inconsolable.
Eyes wide opne, more than normal, like he is on ... speed or something. Throwing himself around. Can't bf or bottle feed.
Like daisy, I will have to sell my sling. Was really looking forward to using it, but only used it twice. Shoulder makes it impossible. MRI scan this week. Will be given steroid injection.
Neither dh nor I can work out what is wrong with ds. I don't actually think it is reflux. But SOMETHING is wrong.

Confirmation for Dozy's for the 12th. Cheers.

Hi all,
re the vommy/wakey baby - thanks for the info vbab and ceebee (and anyone else I've forgotten to thank). It does seems to have receded the last few days and it sounds like the volumes she is bringing up are not enough to sound like it is pyloric stenosis, but I will keep an eye on it and mention to HV.

Out of interest - there seems to be quite a lot of chat about HVs on this thread but i have seen mine once and been told there will be no more visits scheduled unless I request it. Is that normal?

obs - sorry u are having such a shit time at the mo. every day must feel like a mountain to climb. i take my hat off to any lady dealing with a newborn who wont sleep and a toddler, never mind one going through a difficult patch. is it possible your parents were trying to help because they see you in pain but just going about it all the wrong way because their idea of parenting techniques are out of line with yours and they were getting involved when they should have stayed out? I dont want to suggest though, that you are not absolutely justified to react the way that you did.

I have a history of depression/anxiety for which I have been on and off ADs for, but there was a point during my pg when my dad died, and my dh was being an unsupportive swine (long story), but everyone, and I mean everyone just assumed the stress in our rel MUST be coming from me because of the pg/grief/mental health history. Certainly I was not the happiest bunny on the planet but i was not the cause of all of the relentless rows. Funnily enough though, going to the gp and unloading on him about what was going on how I DIDNT need to go back on ADs, really helped. He agreed and made me feel much better about myself and gave me some simple coping strategies which got me through. I also fecked off for a couple of weeks to stay with family. Is there anyone you could go to for a bit to feel more supported - siblings perhaps? Or is it too complicated to go away with ds in tow as well? anyway, I feel for you an hope it settles soon.

PS
does anyone else have a tax return to do and is developing an irrational hatred of moira sewart in those inland revenue ads