December 2006 - Terrible Two's here we come!

[Olihan]

Here we go. I thought the title was apt as ds2 has morhed into a stroppy little horror overnight. His favourite expression at the moment is 'I cwoss with you, I sceam at you AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH' .

Happy Birthday ToddlerJabber and ToddlerEli .

DD is poorly again. I swear every bug in the vicinity has some kind of magnetic attraction to her . She has a bit of a temp, headache and earache today. I need to buy shares in Calpol and Medised I think.

Aoa, hotel is a very good idea - go for a posh one so you can have a vvvv hot, deep bath!

AQ- I should have said that the joining two words together is literally adding "a" or "the", nothing else. Also meant to say that he still babbles a lot and I haven´t a clue what he´s saying, think he´s developed his own lingo!

bebespain - yay

eli - do you remember my DH's relative died in Dec? I couldnt go because of children's logistics but I got a 'sign' that day similar to Castles' clouds. Your DGM would want you to prioritise DDs.

AQ - try not to worry about the speech yet. My 2 dds are totally different. DD2 amazes me every day with her speech. But at this age DD1 barely said a thing - everyone commented. Now I cant shut her up. Honestly. She is a perfectionist and I am convinced she waited until she could do it properly The only advice I can give is try not to talk about it in front of them - if you repeatedly talk about how they cant talk it wont help their confidence.

Bebe congrats!

AofA, thanks, will look out for one...meantime, feel much more involved as chose a reading (found one from her favourite St Ex book) and have sent something I wrote for my brother to read out. Also now hearing details of family madness kicking off (funerals renowned for that, as are weddings, of course) and am quite relieved to be here.

dd2 ate a crumpet for breakfast. First time ever, she's NEVER eaten that amount of food for breakfast

Thanks AofA and Eli!

AofA - I have just realised who you are, formerly FGS/EV right? I had been wondering where you were (doh!)

Eli - wow, the power of crumpet eh, gosh how I miss them! Well done to dd2 Its a great feeling isn´t it? DS ate a whole Weetabix the other morning and I was so happy, sadly we were back to nigh on nothing this morning

Am so tired today, think I´ll grab 40 winks while DS is napping...

Congratulations bebespain - and fancy keeping us all in suspense that long!

at crumpet eating. mmmm.

Best go - boobs vesuviating everywhere, am a milky mess last few days - ever since those 3 nights of hourly feeding. Never thought I would be praying for the next feed to come quicker not sure what to do, seems a waste to be saturating clothes and muslins with it but think expressing is only going to make situation worse.

Congratulations bebe! and eli that's a long-awaited crumpet.

Hello everyone. I missed myself so thought EV could come back for a bit.

Hope mummies with new babies are doing ok.

Thread for Oli, in case you missed it

Aaaaaah

Elibean has missed EV too.

I've missed you too EV!! I just wasn't as taken with AoA as a name for you - Eustacia seems more fitting to me for some reason, more eloquent.

... hope all is well and work bearable

How's things there Eli?

AQ??? How are you? Have you managed to get some PND support sorted?

Hullo all, just off to bed but checking in so you know I'm alive and relatively sane DP's main business is under huge amount of pressure, so we're having to drop income by a lot suddenly as his MD resigned yesterday. DP v.v.stressed by it all and ds3 has spent the last week or so being up most of the night crying for milk so not sure whether I can keep up feeding him which just makes me cry really. But it's just awful at the moment, I hate feeding him. DD not well and has hardly smiled at me since Weds, has temp half the time poor mite.

Seeing consultant for ds1 on Tues, he will have several blood tests then to see what's up but at least he's been more perky last day or so. He and ds2 playing beautifully all day and made me laugh so much at bedtime doing actions to Dig, Dig, Digging together, bless them.

Suspect if I stop being busy I may start crying again so will just keep being busy.Literally haven't had a moment to make a phone call about PND but really ought to on Mon.

I still miss FunkyGlassSlipper, EV

Eli, how's dd now?

BP, how're you coping with it all?

Indith, Lennied, sleep/terrors/feeding any better?

Sorry if I'm not keeping up with everyone else. Must go to bed.

Hello, Fountain of Plenty

Not bad, thanks, 3 crumpets today, dropped the Voltarol (apart from one for night time) and dd is back in her own bed, as of five minutes ago. Fingers tightly crossed. She's definitely a lot better!

I miss my dgm now that I have space to, which is good, iyswim, tho

The burial (not really a funeral, as such) went very well, my db read my message and a lovely one of his own, and everyone behaved. My db found some white lilac (her favourite) to throw into the grave with her coffin. She was such an alive person, its very hard to imagine her not here anymore.

Hows things with everyone else? Are you all busy having wild weekends? LenniEd, are you more comfortable, milk-wise, now, or still over producing? My aunt sent milk to a milk bank, in France, when she had the same problem! Not sure they exist here...

Hope all the LOs are well, and AQ, hope life is treating you gently, BP too, and Margo hope you're having a good break away from work today and tomorrow, at least.

Who suggested I think about nice things to do at halfterm? AQ, was it you? If so, thanks - have decided to go to Paris for four days, with dh and dds, and say some real goodbyes. Booked tickets today, before dh realized he really shouldn't take more time off work so he has to now

AQ x post. Do hope youre in bed by now, but if not, take a large un-MNy hug and go straight away, y'hear? Sounds pretty rough, and I do think a call to GP wouldn't hurt, and may help. Poor dd, hope she's better v v soon and dses don't catch it - lots of fever bugs around, it seems.

And re ds, if you can feed him and want to, thats fine - but please, please don't give yourself a hard time if enough is enough. Its not the most important thing between you, I know you know that, but just in case it helps to be reminded...xx

Eli, glad to hear DD2 is so much better. Good news about going to Paris too. Have some fun now!

AQ, keeping busy is good. No harm in that. It's what I do. Although sometimes we just have to face up to things. Something else I'm currently doing

EV, welcome back

BS, congrats

Hullo everyone! Poorly dcs + bust laptop = no MN (boo, hiss) but we seem to be back up and running, phew.

Eli, so, so, so pleased dd is well and truly on the mend and eating as well as sleeping - hip, hip hooray . Also very glad your dgm's funeral went well and that you are going over soon. How was dd1's appointment on Fri, or have I got the wrong day?

AQ that life is getting more stressful atm. DD also had the fever bug. She's picking up now but it's a horrid lurgy. I agree with Eli re. the feeding - he's had 4 months of bm, if it starts to decrease now he's had a bloody good start (far better than my ds1 and dd who were ff by 4 weeks) and you've made a massive achievement in pretty much exclusively feeding twins alongside having 2 more DSs. You are a hero in anyone's book. Lots more ((hugs)) to keep you going .

EV, another vote for reverting to that name, it's my fave of all the ones you;ve had.

Margo, thanks for the link .

LenniEd, how's the milk situation? You can get breast shells from Boots that you tuck inside your bra between feeds to collect the overflow. If you keep them sterile you can then freeze the milk for a later date. I may have some kicking around if you want....

Bebe, congratulations .

AQ, I agree with oli that you have done a superb job with bfing and just decide whatever you need to do at this point to make your life easier. I'm so sorry to hear about your dp's work. This economy slow down has hit everyone. I'm so hoping things start to pick up this spring.

Ds2 threw up just as we put him to bed last night He was up all night and then today the diarrhea hit. He seems a little better today so we'll see what the night brings

Hi All....... remember me? I havent been on in such a looooong time... How are you all?

Amberli is fast becoming a monkey...She is at nursery two mornings a week and definately a 2 year old!!! Hope you are all well :-)

I am starting work full time next week and Im very nervous!Im going to miss my babies!...at least Im home on the weekends!

xxx so...whats going on???

Hello Calm

What has been going on? Erm.....my brain is too scrambled for that There are babies everywhere, bebe is preggers and Eli has revamped her dd2 into a shiny new model.

Eli crumpets are ace. Onwards and upwards

AQ you are amazing, he has had 4 wonderful months of milk, if you syop now there isnothing to be ashamed of. It is not about loving one more or giving one a better start, it is about diong what you have toi do to be able to give your whole family the love and attention it deserves, including ds3. If you hate feeding him, and end up resenting feeding him then that does not make for a happy relationship. Have you considered the 4 month spurt though? I do recall you have always had more trouble with him though so maybe not.

but for nice funerals

dd very snotty, coughing and crying She has spent all her time awake recently crying She sleeps the first part of the night very well, cries and fusses and dozes from after midnight til 6 or 7 then sleeps all morning and fusses all afternoon. Argh! Dont' know what to do really. Just have to wait until she gets over the cold and see if she settles a bit. Feels a little as though I need to be a bit more routine led with her to sort her afternoons out but how the hell do you do that with a toddler too? If I go out she will sleep but can't not do things with ds. Think I need to get a double pushchair as at the moment she just screams if she is awake in a sling so it is limiting my time out with ds and with him having dropped his nap again long walks by the river etc are needed! Grr. Am ending up cross and resenting both of them for different reasons at the moment then crying at dh (after shouting and snapping at him). But that is what 4 hours of broken sleep a night does to you I suppose. 5 weeks tomorrow, almost half way to the magic 12 weeks!

Balls. Dd was asleep sucking my finger but has woken again Feel terrible for ds, he watches a lot of cbeebies at the moment

By the way, can I get an overview of telling off, ounishments etc? How much do your 2 year olds understand of consequences? Ds much more agressive to other children these days (am asuming it is partly being 2, partly having his world turned upside down by dd and will pass like any other phase) and it needs to be dealt with. I let some things slide, as we all know at topddler groups it often comes from both sides and sometimes the kids are best left to sort it themsleves so long as no harm is done. When he pushes etc I stop him, get to his level and tell him it is wrong, it hurts and mummy is cross. He either doesn't understand of refuses to kiss or cuddle to say sorry though. Suppose the concept of sorry is pretty complicated. Anyway he pretty much always just goes and does it again. Again stop etc. He knows it is wrong, I can tell by the way he looks at me but he is pushing boundries and I feel as though some sort of consequence is needed if he continues to do something he knows is wrong but I don't know what he will understand.

Argh screaming again. Off to pace the living room.

Hello Calm

Indith - Dd2 is much more ilful than DD1 and she doesnt listen either. We have had a lot of hitting this week. Most things I'll let go with a 'no dont do that'. Anything dangerous or mean I will send her to the 'step'. She trundles off and doesnt look bothered but she does understand it is where you go if you are naughty. Yesterday DD2 hit DD1 with a big stick . After a week of hitting I'd had enough and agreed with DH that I would hit her to show her how it hurt. I smacked her hand She cried and I feel lousy but I dont know how else to make her understand how much it hurts people. Hopefully now I can refer to that if she does it again. Ignoring/negotiation hasnt worked so now I will stick with the 'step' and a lecture.

They DO understand most things at this age but they havent learned the boundaries of good/bad behaviour yet. As long as you are consistent with your approach the message will get through.

Actually, reading that back please dont all be cross with me. I've never smacked DD before and it wasnt done in temper.

Also, any ideas on how to deal with irrational fear of spiders in 2 year old. DD2 saw a plastic spider today and totally freaked. She has had no bad experiences as far as I know but it frightened her for a good half an hour and we had to take it out of the room.

Not at all, EV, I totally understand where you're coming from. Ds2 is much more difficult as to aggressive behavior than ds1. Just before Christmas we had an incident report from Mother's Day Out b/c he had punched another child. With his fist - in the child's face We've had lots of discussion with him but he still hits ds1. I just don't understand it. I have taken to putting him in timeout for 2 minutes.

We now have a morning mantra

"No hitting, no biting, no kicking, no punching"

Oh and no rocks up the nose. That was interesting...

Hello, Calm

Indith, I think the combination of being 2 and having a sibling arrive must be gobsmacking (for want of better word) - dd1 was 3, and her behaviour went all over the place a few months after dd2 was born, understandably. At 2, I would do lots of removing from situation (if you can), lots of ignoring, distracting, etc. dd2 actively demands for dd1 to say 'sorry' if she's snatched a toy etc, so she knows what it means if I ask her to say it - but dd1, who had no older sibling to show her, didn't 'get' sorry till at least 2.5 if not 3, tbh. Hope dd is better, IME dd1 is worse behaved when dd2 is unwell!

(()) and crumpets and Milo to EV and anyone else nearing end bits of tether

Oli, aren't you lovely for remembering dd1 had an appointment - its tomorrow, for the anaesthetic and treatment, will probably take all morning. After that, if anyone asks me to drag one of my children through anaesthesia or procedures medical, I am likely to be very rude and refuse!

A propos of nothing in particular (other than me needing a quick vent) my dm is back and all gooey 'how is dd' on the surface, and angry as a viper underneath Not at all surprised (she's been subjected to her mad and angry brother for a week, apart from loss and house clearing) but urgh its unpleasant.

at rocks up the nose.

Hmm not sure about time out and steps. I tried that once and it ended in ds having a huge tantrum, flinging himself off the chair he had been put on and trashing the living room. A friend with a dd younger than ds gave her a slap on the thigh (lightly) recently over something. She used it as a threat, carried it out and her dd responded and obeyed. She is much more communicative than ds though. Must get the message through somehow though.

Anyway this post and the last are very negative about ds and he doesn't deserve it. He is a star. He totally adores his little sister. He kisses her all the time and cuddles her. He will sit with her in his arms on the sofa for ages stroking her and patting her. He tries to share his toys with her and even gave her doudou when she cried this morning. He will sit by her bouncy chair bouncing her and chatting while she smiles at him. There must be some instinctive sibling bond because she seems to have endless smiles for him no matter how many times he pokes her eyes or pinches her nose! He mostly entertains himself if I'm busy with her and is generally great with her and I do praise him a lot for it.

Hello Eli good luck tomorrow.