December 2006 - Terrible Two's here we come!

[Olihan]

Here we go. I thought the title was apt as ds2 has morhed into a stroppy little horror overnight. His favourite expression at the moment is 'I cwoss with you, I sceam at you AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH' .

Happy Birthday ToddlerJabber and ToddlerEli .

DD is poorly again. I swear every bug in the vicinity has some kind of magnetic attraction to her . She has a bit of a temp, headache and earache today. I need to buy shares in Calpol and Medised I think.

Aoa, hotel is a very good idea - go for a posh one so you can have a vvvv hot, deep bath!

jabber, I know exactly what you mean about the plane, it's what I'd think about too . Men do react to things like this in a completely different way, often v.businesslike about it all, might take weeks to show some emotion and then completely breakdown. My dm works for an organisation called Cruse, helping people cope with bereavement.

I did get worried about language for ds2 as my dad said he should be using 2 word sentences a few months ago and he's still not! He has a large vocab, no worries there and can follow fairly complicated instructions though.

got to go. Got my tesco slot [hee hee, lennied!) and kitchen full of shopping to put away. BTW, sent you parcel of newborn boys' stuff yesterday so should be with you in a day or so. Hope you have a drawer for it!

Really don't worry Lennied, and don't worry about correcting her either as it won't make a blind bit of difference. Children have fantastic brains that are designed to pick out correct language, they just go through various stages of experimentation and over regularisation on the way. Ds is also very unclear and gets his consonants muddled up but I know what he means (though I'd quite like it if he stopped telling people to die when he says bye!)

Dh and I really should get round to doing our wills. Horrible that it takes a mortality check to make you do it.

Jabber please try not to dwell on how they passed away too much, you'll drive yourself mad. Remember the good times, the last chat you had etc. That is who they are.

Am fighting temptation to go to bed, so tired today. Will wash up and go in the bath I think then hope for an undisturbed night from ds.

Oh Jabber - I'm so sorry to hear about your friends. One of my friends will not travel anywhere with just her DH for this very reason. I'm unsure you can control your destiny like this. They sounded like lovely people, please tell us more about them if it stops you thinking about the plane and helps you focus on your good memories of them.

Can we stick another to the list?

LaBoheme 13/12 DD

(I'm off to her party on the 6th)

I did my A level English Lang project on children's language development and it was the most fascinating work I've ever done. I've forgotton most of it (there's a surprise) but I do remember that they are not aware if they are mispronouncing words (e.g. 'ish' instead of 'fish') but can recognise if you repeat the 'wrong' word.

I also had a dd who was very slow to talk - at 2 she could say about 5 words. She picked it up all of a sudden and at 3.3 you'd never know she wasn't talking a year ago. She was very physical though - bumshuffled/crawled at 6mo and walked at 10mo so I guess that's where her strengths were.

Jabber, what shocking, terrible news . Those poor girls. And poor you, losing peers seems so much more dreadful somehow. Sending you lots of love and strength xx

We have nothing formal set up for our dcs either. My mum couldn't have them, she's not physically well enough to do it, my sis has her own dd now and is planning another so to expect her to have 5 dcs is too much, I guess it will be dh's parents as they know the dcs best, they wouldn't have to move, etc but they are both about to hit 60 and I don;t know if it would be fair. I'm very much an ostrich when it comes to these matters, rather stupidly I guess.

DD is poorlier again today - we have vomiting to add to the other ailments, poor girly. She's so pale and dark eyed. I put her to bed at 5pm and she just flaked.

Xposts Margo. How is LB? I have recollections of her having awful PND, is that right (I remember an ongoing thread, think she'd name changed but may have her confused with someone else)?

She's fine and her little girl is lovely.

Ooo, yes Margo, and why don't you introduce her to us too...

Thanks Indith and AoA - very reassuring that correcting her makes no difference, had kind of realised it didn't but was persisting all the same, was getting quite wearing for us both, hard to have a conversation when one of you is just repeating what the other is saying

Thank you AQ - will look out for them. How exciting! Have started getting things ready properly now. Going to sort DD's old infant car seat out tomorrow and was all the covers. Have started packing a few bits for hospital, although no where near done yet. And have been briefing DH on birth and hospital visitors (none please ta very much! not gone down well with MIL but want to see DH and DD and last time PIL used my entire visiting hour and only saw DH for about 20mins on day DD born - I was )

Jabber, lovely suggestion from Margo - please do tell us more about your friends, I would like to hear about them too. If it helps.

How were your older DC's when you arrived home with the new baby? Have read a few threads on how to handle it and have started delegating a few duties to DH like baths and getting dressed etc. in the morning so that DD is used to him doing more for her but still don't really know what to expect. Have got her a little present from the baby for when she comes to hospital - although she's hardly going to go short with her birthday and xmas so soon before. Were your DC's ok with visiting the hospital?

wash the covers even ... and didn't realise LaBoheme was someone else previous... in that case she probably knows everyone already...

Panic, panic... DH's birthday at the weekend, he had requested a mexican dinner from his favourite recipe book, have ordered the wrong things from tesco (for the recipe below, thought it was an odd choice)... oh my, I am incapable of anything right now.

Hope your DD feeling better soon Oli - poor thing. They are sorry souls when ill aren't they.

Oh, and Oli - sounds just like DD - she walked just before 10mo and now is a long way ahead physically, she's so strong and can mimic other people's actions really well. She walks up the stairs one at a time like an adult which always makes me smile. Am no longer worrying... she's obviously perfectly normal and you are all lovely for making me feel better.

And now I am going to stop talking to myself

I remember LaBoheme, and actually where have calm and wb gone anyway!

DS2 was slow at walking and still isn't that great. Should I be worried (aq puzzles if she has enough time in the day to worry...)?

Lennied, ds2 was absolutely wonderful about the hospital visit & really pleased with his present etc. What threw him was when my waters broke and I panicked, mum came round to get him and he was as quiet as a mouse all the way there so I wish I had asked them to stay at my house instead really rather than go to theirs. Getting her used to dh doing things now is definitely a good idea, luckily dp had been doing breakfast & bathtime for a while anyway. Hope you have those drawers sorted now as it's a big parcel! Just newborn, ds3 in 0-3 still so hope yours isn't a giant!

And what about BP? Where is she?

I saw Mag74 on another thread recently.

Come back all of you!

You are all so very kind to ask about my friends. They were just such lovely, lovely people. Nick was very successful in his business but was also very generous to charities. At Christmas they sent food and gifts to 5 needy families (one for each member of their own family) as well as other types of giving. Ann was always volunteering at the girls' schools and heading up fundraisers for the preschool program here that works with children who have disabilities. They just always made you feel good. The daughter of a friend worked for a time as caregiver to their oldest daughter. She said to her mother, "I was hired to care for Brittany, but in that house everyone takes care of each other, even taking care of me". That really sums up who they were.

And eli, it did help to know that perhaps they were not conscious at the end

Jabber - they sound like lovely people. How are you today?

AQ- I think the plan is that DH will take DD to PIL when I go into labour and then come back for me! It is only 10 mins or so to PIL so I won't have to wait long for him but would rather that than having MIL here as last time I just wanted to be left alone in labour and can imagine having to deal with PIL wouldn't be what I wanted. I'm not sure if they would come here anyway even if it was the middle of the night since they don't like to come here to babysit at all - they are quite insistent about us taking DD there if we ever ask for babysitting even though it often means disturbing her from her sleep when we get home.

Have just had a parcel arrive DH is shouting! Will be back later... expect it is from you AQ - very exciting!

I've seen WB on FB and spoken to BP on email recently. She's not been well but is better and I guess she's just a bit out of touch.

Jabber, it's hard for you right now. Keep talking especially to mutual friends. A good friend of mine met with a horrendous death a few years ago. I'm still haunted by what (probably) happened to her prior to her death. It was especially hard opening the paper/reading the internet and seeing her face for so long. However, being with mutual friends and talking about it was a great comfort, although it was still absolutely ghastly, but it doesn't hurt now.

Lennied, are you having a home birth? All I can say is have an additional back-up to the ILs if you can. I went into labour at midnight with DD2 and DH had to load the other 2 DCs into the car, drive me to hospital and drop me at the door . We had it all planned with MIL coming to look after them too and she was stuck in effing Greece

Much as I would have loved it I'm not having a homebirth. There were a few complications with DD's birth and a history of stillbirths in my family which combined mean I would be nervous about giving birth at home when we are so far from a hospital. The nearest ambulance station is 25mins from the house and its then 45 mins minimum to the hospital so would have to be transferred by air ambulance if needed which is ok in summer but its not very hospitable up here in Jan so decided it would be foolhardy to push for one. We've a few options for back-up if needed although I'm hoping they aren't needed as would involve me going with DH to take DD en route to hospital.

AQ - will email once DD on bed but thank you thank you thank you

I hope nothing serious with BP - would be nice to have her back.

OMG - sometimes this place just makes me laugh Where do people come up with these things?

Night all

And AQ - I hope he isn't a giant too - not just so he can fit in all these lovely clothes but to save me the pain! Have emailed you BTW.

You are not all busy having exciting lives are you?

AoA am hoping you are now warm or packed ready for a weekend away.

DH gone out for the evening so am having a lovely relaxing night.

Lol. No heating or hot water until Tuesday. We are hoping for Sat night in premier inn. I have lots of activities lined up for saturday including painting mugs for grandparents for xmas. I have used 4 different people's showers this week

Hey Jabber, been thinking about you, how are you?

AofA at shower hopping. You must get an interesting perspective on peoples' lives that way!

Am feeling like poo, voiceless and coughing again, Castles was right: extreme tiredness precedes mean virus. Wish I could get mean back

dd1 has 'bonding' day off school where morning and afternoon groups get to go to softplay together instead. So have packed dh off to bond, with both dds, and am going to either enjoy lazy morning (been years!) or do my homework

Indith, how are you, too?

Lots of virtual Lemsip and ((hugs)) for Eli, poor you, these bugs are awful this year. Almost half of ds's school is (are?) off at the moment.

Jabber, thinking of you too, hope you're doing okay.

AoA - do you have a good snoop through their bathroom cupboards while you're there? Have fun at the hotel on Saturday....

Am on a Xmas/B'day present roll, only have the PILs' and SIL's still to get. So I'm quite chuffed with myself!

Hi guys, thanks for thinking of me. I'm still in the shock/denial stage and have moments of being angry that they're gone Dh is holding it in but I know he is quite upset too. the funeral is Monday so perhaps that will give us some type of comfort - although dh is saying he doesn't know if he can go. He was quite close to Nick.

JabberI agree that funerals can really help with healing...will be thinking of you Monday. Do you think dh might talk about it during a counselling session...?

THanks Oli, lemsip gratefully received - haven't had a temp for years, but yo'ure right, these bugs are vicious (and all round dd's school, though she hasn't had it yet!) and this one seems to include fever and racking cough

Feel better for moaning somewhere more sympathetic than dh's ear

Congrats on the pressie buying! Mine is going fairly well too, its a great way of avoiding writing, so needless to say I've done the kids, the cousins, half my family.....

Sorry you feel ill Eli. I've been feeling terrible all week. So busy and just want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Dream on!!!

Thinking of you Jabber. Agree with Eli: maybe something to talk about together at counselling.

Talking of which, I have decided to treat myself in the new year to some psychotherapy. I would really like to clear the mists of family mayhem/guilt.

DD2's birthday tomorrow Feel a bit sad that she only has one card (from ILs and mistakenly opened by enthusiastic DS) in addition to presents from us. Noone else has bothered Will get the DCs to make her a card this pm.