December 2006 - Terrible Two's here we come!

[Olihan]

Here we go. I thought the title was apt as ds2 has morhed into a stroppy little horror overnight. His favourite expression at the moment is 'I cwoss with you, I sceam at you AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH' .

Happy Birthday ToddlerJabber and ToddlerEli .

DD is poorly again. I swear every bug in the vicinity has some kind of magnetic attraction to her . She has a bit of a temp, headache and earache today. I need to buy shares in Calpol and Medised I think.

Aoa, hotel is a very good idea - go for a posh one so you can have a vvvv hot, deep bath!

Am intrigued by southern funeral jabber (and just looked at your fb photos, lovely!). for margo's neighbour dying alone.

just diving in v.quickly, just no time at the mo being supermum an' all . Yeah, right, indith! You should be here when the shouting and/or crying begins (me AND the lo's). But actually castles (oh, wise one) is right, it's easier to cope with another one once you've done it already. I find the switching b/t one or more children a great deal easier this time, I remember I felt so stuck between them it was awful. Hated the crying from either one and ds1 would always pick the one moment I had with ds2 on his own all day to POO somewhere. Argggh. Whereas now I have all 4 pooing somewhere and ds2 now in pullups and throwing pooey ones out of his cot! Why????Arggghhhhh. Did you ask HV for help, indith, what was the answer? Are you considering controlled crying?

Hope mini-elibean getting better every day and that planned break coming along nicely.

Bebespain, when are you due btw? And are you finding out what you're having? My mum & SD off to Barcelona in the morning (drool), I hope it's not snowing there!

It's entirely possible that Southern funerals are similar to funerals everywhere and it's just dh who's the oddball

The "viewing" the night before the funeral is a very big deal and of course people bring lots of food to the house, or in our case the hotel. If we lived in the town still we would have been inundated with casseroles and pies, lol. As it was we got to munch on cookies and cake. Then there is the service itself with the family sitting off in a little private room to the side that is open to the chapel. The eulogy, sermon, singing (of course) and then the people passing by the casket for one last goodbye. Then we all stand outside and visit while the casket is loaded into the hearse and head over to the cemetary for the graveside service a la The Sopranos.

Dh said he was sure that some people in the North did something similar but he had personally never attended anything like it - and he's 60 years old.

Jabber, your funerals sound so inclusive I think that's the right term. Everyone gets their opportunity for grief, but there seems to be a real sense of community about it. I love the 'bringing casseroles' thing - that's never happened for any of our funerals.

AQ, you are supermum. Absolutely.

Indith, if it's any consolation, they do say that the third child is easiest. Might as well go for it It's so difficult when you're torn between the needs of a newborn and of a toddler. Their needs are so different, and it's impossible to reason with either of them. Sending loads of maternal strength.

Margo, that's so sad about your neighbour. It must be difficult to detach from that kind of situation. Thank god there are people like you in the world who do care, though.

DD2 had a massive nosebleed in the night. She was in our bed (where else?!) and I woke up to find myself and the bed covered in blood. She seems OK today - must just be her cold, poor wee mite.

And DD1 has figured out how to work the system at school. She was sent home on Monday as she didn't eat any lunch, and I kept her off yesterday as well as she was complaining of a headache. There's nothing wrong with her at all - she's just swinging the lead. If the school could see the teatime battles, and the number of times she goes without tea , they'd understand that her missing a lunch is neither here nor there.

Hello everyone. Trying to keep up but can't iyswim. DS feeding every hour through the night for the last 2 nights so am feeling a bit ruff! Won't last forever though eh!

Oli - Got your parcel, haven't yet summoned the bravery to open it (DS asleep finally, don't want to risk the sellotape sound). Not sure why I am worrying about sellotape when DD running round like a loon but I'm not all that rational this morning. Thank you very much, will send postage later today.

Jabber - funeral does indeed sound lovely. If there's one thing English people are rubbish at it's a funeral. I have never been to one and thought 'that was a good funeral'....

Hope DD2 ok Eli.

Will catch up properly soon.

Sounds as though we have a fair few supermums on board atm....well, not just atm, but especially atm - what with sleeplessness, new babies, illness, work problems, bereavment et al.

Jabber, sounds lovely...much friendlier than the average Brit funeral (though I've been to one or two lovely ones too, to be fair). I have no idea what a French funeral is like, probably quite formal - which is what my dgm would have wanted, probably. I'm very that I won't be able to go, almost certainly - if only to make it real, iyswim, because I haven't seen her for nearly a year.

dd2 is definitely on the mend, and has moments (after pain relief) of eating, playing, chattering in both languages more than I remember her doing pre-op But she still whimpers with pain a lot at night, needs constant mummying, round the clock meds, and I just think it wouldn't feel right to disappear for a whole day after having her glued to me for ten days. Too abrupt. Also, dd1 is finding it hard now and has pre-op dental apt today, a special mummies tea at school on day of funeral (friday) and then dental work with GA next Tuesday.

Aaaargh, I'm still torn though Feels wrong to leave here, but also wrong not to be there.

So I shall stop thinking about it and concentrate on tidying my amazingly shambolic house, with a cling-on

Darn, typed a long post and lost it!

Chicken pox just finishing here, pood dd to young for most stuff

Sorry Jabber and Eli, [hugs]

Eli, glad dd2 is on the mend. Can you take her with you on Fri? Even if you only go to the wake for a short while? (I don't know how far away it is)

Eli, it's a tough decision but I'd stay put if I were you. Paris is a long way to go at a time like this (re DD2) and I'm sure your DGM will understand. Remember the fiasco of my DGM's funeral in the summer? I like to think my DGM was on my side ...

BP, I have 2 difficult eaters . Other people just don't 'get' how miserable it can make life. I dread playdates that involve meals. Have 2 coming after school (grr! the self-invited variety) and I've been feeling anxious all day. Pathetic really.

Jabber, glad the funeral went well.

bp, I'm sure you're right about the nosebleed coming from her cold. They also look so horrendous at the time, don't they?

eli, so sorry you have to make this decision about going to the funeral or not. Very difficult

LenniEd, it is harder with two especially at first. I don't know how I would have coped if mine were closer together. Hats off to all of you who have little ones atm. Supermom kudos all around

castles, I'm with you on the poor eaters thing. Ds2 probably would be much better but he hears ds1 saying yuck, refusing food etc. and plays along. SO frustrating.

Ah, Paris, that is somewhat different....

Castles/ BP, I am so pleased I have a good eater. I CAN understand how hard and worrying that can be. I used to worry my mum with how little I ate / how finicky I was. If it's any consoloation I was an average sized teenager (eventually) and now I eat tons! But that doesn't help now.

Yes, Paris somewhat the problem Not supposed to take dd on public transport for a few days yet, really, and anyway she's still had lots of pain today and is pretty weak. I tried cutting pain meds down, but no go - she just whimpers, lies on me, and clutches her ears and throat. Ten minutes after Voltarol, she starts playing and eats a not-bad-for-her supper (god yes, difficult eaters = hard work! Though hopefully dd will change soon )

I've decided not to go. I do feel sad, and a bit guilty, and cross, but thats ok. I would feel worse leaving the dds at this point than I do not going, iyswim. If dd2 makes a miracle bounce-back tomorrow I might change my mind, but I doubt it - think we have another few days till she's really ok enough to leave.

BP, missed the nose bleed that must have given you a turn! Yes, dd1's nose has bled a bit once, during a cold, and dh's always...

Eli - Do you think they'd be able to do a memorial service in the summer when dd1 is fully recovered?

You could ask your local church to say a mass for her and attend that for the meantime? I'm so sure she'd understand - the same goes for the rest of your family. Don't feel guilty though..

Lennied - lol @ irrational sellotape paranoia

Ahh nosebleeds! They look so awful don´t they. I still remember scaring my Mum half to death when as a young girl I woke up with face covered in dried blood!

AQ - am due 2 June and we found out what we are having on Monday...so if anybody wants to know I shall spill Ooh Barcelona I haven´t actually been but I have it on good authority that its fabulous and I´m sure they´ll love it. Not sure what the weather´s doing there but it is brass monkeys here, buddy freezing and still some snow showers brrrr!

Eli - glad to hear DD2 is on the mend...really feel for you re the funeral, that´s a real tough one but glad you have made a decision, albeit a very difficult one

Jabber - thanks for the tip the lump, no it definitely isn´t red so am feeling reassured its something and nothing

castles - really feel for you on the food front DS isn´t such a good eater any more, has got progressively worse since he started to toddle. Some days I wonder how he survives on the odd morsel he´s eaten. The latest is refusing breakfast - ahhhh its so frustrating

AQ - just saw the weather forecast and Barcelona is looking good for the next couple of days, temp high of 14 and definitely no snow in sight
Can´t you tell DH isn´t home from work yet!

What do you mean, bebespain, IF anyone wants to know - spill, spill!! You have to tell us! 2nd June, lovely a summer baby for you! (AQ cross as she will never now have a summer baby unless she moves back to Oz). Mum has departed today to NO snow, excellent, hope she's having fun, she deserves it.

Sorry you can't make the funeral, eli But dd sounds as though things are really improving, non?

Have luckily been to v.few funerals but your gm's sounded v.lovely jabber.

waiting until next week's appt with endocrinologist for ds1 to be tested for coeliac, gp concerned he would be jabbed twice for no reason (she's so fab!). He is so tired, and pale and the skinniest arms I've ever seen on a boy, but he does still eat quite a lot thank god. Although I went to big effort to cut up loads of veg and then whizz it into the spag bol sauce (very cunning I thought). He only ate the spaghetti. School nurse on at me for him to have 7 drinks a day - do any of your children have 7 drinks a day fgs??! I don't have 7 drinks a day.

Anyone else's dec 06 LO NOT putting 2 or more words together as ds2 isn't at all and I'm starting to worry as he's 25 months.He's not even coming up with many new words these days.

at hourly night feeds, Lennied. Hope you caught up on a bit of rest today. Are you co-sleeping with him or at least feeding lying down during the day if you can?Somewhat difficult with dd around I guess. I can't do it either, drat.

Ooh, go on Bebe, spill

Eli, tis very hard that dd2's recovery and your dgm's funeral making you feel torn. FWIW (if you want some more reassurance) I think you're doing the right thing. Even if you could just go for the day it would be a very long, emotional and tiring day and after the wringer you've been through over the last weeks/months it won't do you any good at all.

BP - eek at the nosebleed . I've never seen a full on nosebleed in all my teaching/having dcs years.

LenniEd at the sellotape dilemma. Sellotape is very loud, I grant you!

BP/Castles, I also have 2 very fussy eaters in ds1 and ds2. Ds2 has always been picky, right from the moment he weaned but it's going to daft lengths at the oment. His diet consists of breakfast cereals (weetabix, shreddies, cocopops & cranberry wheats), mini savoury eggs, cocktail sausages, carrs cheese melts biscuits, nutella sndwiches, yogurts, apples, bananas, spaghetti bolognese, pizza and chilli with rice. That's it. He won't try anything else at all, he just pushes it away with a firm 'Don't yike dat'. It drives me crazy. He does, however, have an enormous capacity for junk food of all descriptions .

Ds1 will try stuff after a bit of a battle but is still very restricted in what he eats. Most of his good friends' mums know that he only eats jam sandwiches for lunch and cater accordingly but it's very .

Jabber, your dgm's funeral sounds lovely. Much more inclusive and family centred than the ones here that I've been too.

DS2 has a lurgy, well, several lurgies, I guess. Conjunctivitis, the runs, a stinking cold and sporadic temperature. Such fun .

Snatching moment between dd2 wake-ups (much the same as yesterday, lots of good moments, lots of ear-clutching, whimpering, clinging to me bad moments) to say thank yuou for all the no-funeral support: it helps lots. I definitely am making right/only decision, given dd not being any better tonight than last night - will take a few more days, I think. She's still on 24/24 meds and miserable when I let them stretch longer than allotted time.

AQ, really hoping for useful info re your ds, sounds so worrying...and am very glad you have such a nice GP. Makes a huge difference, IME.

Wishing those of you with interrupted nights less interrupted one tonight

ps my sister said she'd take photos for me, at funeral. She'll probably get arrested

pps Margo, thats a lovely thought...but dgm very much non-religious, no churches involved, and unlikely memorial. I'll find ways though....she'll be in her garden, or house, and I'll go there asap with the dds and dh.

AQ, meant to say...there's a thread on Coeliac in the Childrens Health section, if you haven't seen it already. Might shed some clues?? Probably nothing you haven't read about, but just in case its helpful.

thanks for all the kind words about dgm's funeral. We were all very pleased. I am the official funeral poet so was able to put something together that everyone liked.

oli, sounds like you really have your hands full atm I hope ds2 feels better soon. My ds2 is apparently trying to set a record for having a runny nose for the entire winter...

eli, I'm sure you will find a lovely way to say goodbye to your dgm. What about lighting a candle and having a moment of silence at the time they are having the funeral? Then you can do an additional something later on too if you like.

AQ, you know I don't do [hugs] very often. (In fact that may have only been my second or third in 4 years on MN) but you definitely deserve one with all that's been going on lately. Poor little ds1. I hope they get it figured out soon.

Working lots of extra hours this week, so it's off to bed for me now.

Bebespain - tell us !!!

AQ, DD2 chats away but most of it is pretty unclear (though becoming clearer). She understands well. This is important. How is DS2's understanding? If you ask her a question she knows the answer too. Pointing to stuff in books etc. I'm sure DS2 is fine and try not to worry. You really don't need it right now. Use my DS as a benchmark "severe language disorder" aged 5, "mild word finding difficulties" aged 6

Oli/Jabber, and any other mothers of fussy eaters, you have my heartfelt sympathy though pleased I'm not alone. Like your DS2 Jabber, DD1 is so close to DS I'm sure she just copies his attitude to food. DD2 is great. Eats anything ... at the moment.

Eli, glad you are staying put. You are doing the right thing. At exactly the time that my DGM's funeral was due to start last August (remember I missed it thanks to my crap family) I was sitting on the beach with MIL, SIL, the DCs and their cousins and the sun broke the clouds. Also at exactly the same moment DH's boss told him how highly he is rated by the sales force. So there must be something going on up there, or down there, telling us that we can't look after the dead but we can look after the living.

Eli I sympathise with the funeral. I have not been to a family funeral as they have all been the French lot. Just my Mamie left of that generation now Is there going to be a reading at all? You could get a copy and find a space for yourself at the time of the funeral to sit quietly and read it. With them in spirit Best to dd2 for her continuing recovery.

AQ big hugs for ds1, very much hope you get to the bottom of things soon.

Oooh Oli you sound like you are having fun Hope he gets well soon.

bebe spill

Ah Lennied how well I remember hourly feeds with ds. The joy of growth spurts Hang in there

Ds just had one short terror last night He was standing in his cot with doudou half way across the room, put him back down, gave him back dou dou and he instantly relaxed. Held out my hand and when he was ready he took it and we went to the bed in his room (made up and ready for him to show and interest!) for a cuddle. Back to bed for all concerned within 10 mins. Course the rest of the night not so good. Dd dows not like the early hours of the morning and last night she fussed while being wide awake from 2 til 4, slept til 5 then fussed and cried between dozing til 6.20 when I gave up and got up with her. Add to that 2 feeds and a resettle before the fussing started and the night terror right in the middle of her longest bit of sleep and you have the zombie on front of the pc as a result. Good job you can't see me through the screen! 6.55 ds got up. 7.00 dd went back to sleep, soundly, not a peep, quiet as a mouse til 9.15! May I please turn the clock back to having one child? I would never moan about lack of sleep and I really would remember to sleep when my baby slept. Imagine how chipper I would feel had I been able to go back to bed with her!

Am hoping she goes back to her good sleeping once she kicks this cold. Of course she'll be about due the 6 week spurt by then

Thanks all for thoughts, ideas, and general loveliness

I spoke to my sil this morning (who is going) and she said there is nothing at all arranged - other than a burial - but my brother is going to say something, and my sister may too. So I have emailed a letter to my dgm for my brother to read out, and feel much more connected as a result. I will also take some time to sit in my garden and think of her in her garden (she loved her garden, and lived in that house from the time she was 14 yrs old!) and go through my zillion memories of her. Somehow I think she will be more alive to me now, than she has been the past two years....she really was fed up of hanging round waiting to die, not seeing or hearing properly, unable to leave her home.

Indith, may your Mamie be here for a heap more years to (if she's anything like mine was!) enchant and irritate the family, and may you get some kip soon: I have huge sympathy for fellow zombies. Bet you look gorgeous anyway. BTW, do you know T'choupi and Doudou?? dd loves and adores the books and dvds, bet your ds would - he could relate to the Doudou bit!

Bebe?? Are you holding out on us?!?

bebe! Tell us!!!

What are you lot like !!! Here goes... IT´S A BOY! We are really pleased and ever practical DH is relieved that we can recycle all DS clothes even though its the opposite end of the year! Ooh 2 little boys Didn´t mean to deliberately keep you all in suspense but haven´t had a moment all day, its been a long one!

Good job I did want to know as the sonographer just blurted it out "It´s male" Didn´t bother asking me if I wanted to know. Still I think its pretty much a cultural thing as its the norm for Spanish women to find out, most unusual if you don´t.

AQ - very similar here on the speaking front. DS has only very recently started joining two words together, he has a couple of little phrases such as "there he is" but that´s about it. He constantly repeats the same words, his favourite being "truck" and "beep, beep" (car) which he says all day long and seems to be taking his time saying anything new. I am reassured as he does understand most things I say and can point to objects/amimals etc in a book, but he won´t say the words for love nor money. I wonder if he´s on the lazy side and because he´s with me all day and I understand what he wants/needs he doesn´t see the need to say the words, if that makes sense (?)