December 2006 - Terrible Two's here we come!

[Olihan]

Here we go. I thought the title was apt as ds2 has morhed into a stroppy little horror overnight. His favourite expression at the moment is 'I cwoss with you, I sceam at you AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH' .

Happy Birthday ToddlerJabber and ToddlerEli .

DD is poorly again. I swear every bug in the vicinity has some kind of magnetic attraction to her . She has a bit of a temp, headache and earache today. I need to buy shares in Calpol and Medised I think.

Aoa, hotel is a very good idea - go for a posh one so you can have a vvvv hot, deep bath!

Ah, Indith, your little DS's world has been turned upside down that's all. I'd go with the flow (it's what I did) and just smother him with love whenever possible. It is totally worth it: I distinctly remember at 12 weeks when DD1's dirty chuckle emerged and she was in fits whenever she laid eyes on DS. They are such good friends. It's lovely. That little girl is the best thing that ever happened to my DS (2 years apart exactly) and you will feel the same soon. Soon they will be ganging up on you ... all THREE of them! It's a riot.

Hello Calmriver!

EV, no judgement passing here, they are very lucky to have such a great mum

Eli, sorry about your DM but so pleased that DD2 is well again

Jabber, lol at rocks up the nose. Remember my DGM telling me how my father stuck a knitting needle up her nose once. They are lovely, aren't they

I know castles. I'm just wobbly through lack of sleep and having trouble with the light at the end of the tunnel.

Just dropping in to say hello!!! hope all is well with all of you!

Hello calm, welcome back and don't stay away so long next time
Thanks all for words of encouragement, I posted also in multiple births and plenty of nice things from people there too (v.supportive lot actually which is helpful as i've not made it to twins club yet). Still feeding ds3 as we tried a couple of bottles in a row and he was screaming half the night so not convinced it's the answer. He's been more smiley too, so maybe it is the 4 month growth spurt. Just dd still goes 12 hours without a peep on the same amount of milk, I can't understand it. They weigh the same too.

DP is in tears tonight, doesn't think he can save the business as lots of contracts have been cancelled in quick succession and hard to get sales. Am as it's our main source of income, I'm no longer earning anything and we have various MBO loans to pay off in addition to the mortgage. I'm sticking my head in the sand to some extent because if I start panicking the whole family will go under and dp's just not coping already. I can't afford to get depressed too. I feel quite strong at the moment as long as I continue Castles' approach and keep busy. Feel really that I can't afford not to BF either, or stop using cloth nappies (about 70% on the dt's now, but given up with ds2). Have to give cleaner bad news on Thursday and hoping dp doesn't say I have to pull ds2 out of nursery as that's going to make things much harder. Luckily nanny paid for by dad. I know things will get easier with the 4 dc's once the dt's are feeding less, weaning and sitting up, it just seems a while away really.

Sympathies, Elibean, that word you used 'viper' just makes me and at same time. You need love from DM right now.Is she actually staying with you?? So glad dd2 better and hope everything good for dd1's appt. I now have to take ds1 alone tomorrow to consultant and wish I didn't but dp has too much work to do.

Indith, god life just sounds so difficult right now, I can completely sympathise remembering what ds1 was like when ds2 born (a horror, quite frankly).But would kind of agree with castles on the behaviour front, he's just after attention and love, when things calm down with dd & you have more time for him, his behaviour will calm down. What time does dh get home? Is there room for you to spend some time with ds when he comes home, just the 2 of you to go for a little walk, read a book. A double buggy (or p&t?) might be great for the next six months, anything to make life easier for you. When you say dd sleeps all morning & then afternoon difficult, does make me think a routine of sorts might help a bit although I've only just got one (of sorts) with the dt's. She's coming up to 6 weeks though, I found it got a little easier at that point with all 4 dc's (and then again at 8 and 12) . Only takes a more regular nap, one less feed in the night etc and life starts looking up. I'm trying to remember that myself.

Ah, AQ, I'm so sorry re DP's business...how scary/stressful/upestting, for both of you. I have a BF who's been in similar situation for last few months, with DP falling into pits of depression and her keeping it all going...things are looking up for them now, but its been hard and I hate to think of you going through that too If its any help (probably not) her DP was actually in better shape once he'd let go of the job he was trying to save, IYSWIM, because he had less stress and more space, once the initial shock had worn off. And then they started being able to look at 'what now' a bit better. She stayed busy too (as if you had a choice!), worked for her...I hope DP finds his way through in the best possible way asap, whatever that means.

As for DM, noooo, yikes, not staying here. She's gone home and is in mighty coping mode. To be fair, she's not aiming most of it at me, I trod on sensitive ground by mistake and copped a bit - thats all. But good for me to read your take on me needing nice dm atm, because I never think of that - always think of her needing mothering!

Who needs therapy, eh, when they have MN?

Me, actually

Anyway, wittering on when should be washing hair/clearing up/talking to dh....Indith, I hope you get some decent sleep tonight, its impossible to feel like you're coping with toddlers and newborns (though you are, in fact) when you're sleep deprived. Love the handing of the Doudou to dd, btw, dd1 did that early on - tis good sign

Hello

Indith and AQ - I wish I had something as lovely to say as what has already been said and hope that some ((hugs)) will suffice instead. I'm pretty much there with you right now and know just how hard it is (although how you manage twins AQ really I don't know, you are wonderwoman) but it is going to get better. Outwardly things look ok here - DD being wonderful, DS feeding well and gaining loads of weight, but I'm not sure how long I can keep up with hourly feeds, endless nappies, about 20mins sleep at a time and DD on the go all day plus DH is struggling with his business so chance of any help is nil.

It's bloody awful being self-employed right now so sympathise entirely AQ. Our finances are looking pretty bleak and the business is going to hit cashflow crisis fairly soon unless things get better. A friend's DH has just gone under today and she has a 2yo and a 6wk old baby and is going to have to go job-hunting tomorrow absolutely crap time. But as with the babies I think we are pretty much rock bottom right now and the only way is up...yeah... for you and me now... (ok now I'm showing my age)

We're doing the same really and cutting back on any non-essentials but it's hard and esp since things have been so good the last couple of years... just wish we'd saved more, but then life is for living.

I'm rambling, brain no longer functioning. Do you think it might be ok for me to have a glass of wine? Must go, baby calls. Ack, I don't think I can do this much longer.

Thanks everybody for the congrats

Hi to Calm from a very lapsed member

Indith - Goodness me you must be whacked! I´m dreading all that sleep deprivation already. I hope by the time you read this DD less is snotty and more settled...soon be 12 weeks eh?! Please don´t beat yourself up about CBeebies, DS has been watching far too much telly lately, what between the crap weather and my feeling so tired...and I only have him to look after Today I have been panicking about how I´ll cope with two [scared emoticon]

DS doesn´t seem to understand consequences whatsoever. He is having the most almighty tantrums lately which I think is partly down to sheer frustration maybe due to his lack of speech. When I tell him "No" he just screams and throws himself down on the floor, and I´m still sure what´s the best to react to that... I usually walk to another room and leave him to it which just makes him worse

Oli and Jabber - sorry to hear about your poorly DCs, hope they are on the mend

AQ - can only echo what the others have already said already. You have done more that fantastically well to have B/F DTs for as long as you have along with looking after 2 other DCs, that alone is incredible in my book. I stand in awe
I am so sorry to hear about your DP and his business, as if you don´t have enough to cope with already Not sure what else to say that doesn´t sound lame other than its good to hear you´re feeling strong...sounds like Castle´s approach about keeping busy is a good one

Don't panic, bebe, you'll be fine - I thought I would'nt cope at all with two, but in spite of middle age and a high-maintenance dd2, seem to have survived

Didn't think I would at times, though, LenniEd you and Indith bring it all back. AQ I can't begin to compare with though!

AQ, I jsut switched computer back on because I was having a shower and found myself thinking about your DS and the appointment tomorrow. Wanted to say good luck, and I hope something helpful comes of it - will be thinking of you both (have plenty of time to while dd asleep, such peace....)

bebe, you will manage, don't worry. I found that taking care of a toddler and newborn was still easier than taking care of a toddler while pregnant.

AQ, I'm so so sorry about dp's situation. I know how stressful it can be when you are the sole breadwinner and things aren't working out. Pretty much all of 2008 was like that for me and it probably had a lot to do with things finally coming to a head with me and dh. But it's better now and as they say, this too shall pass. I hope an old cliche' like that doesn't sound like I'm in any way playing down the seriousness of the situation. Believe me I would never do that. But as LenniEd says you do get to a point where the only way is up and things start to turn around and show you the way.

I will keep you present in my thoughts and I hope you find out something helpful with ds1 tomorrow.

DS2 much better today. Now ds1 has it

It's terrible how so many of us have been badly affected financially.

Much as I hate to provide this link to recession-proofing your finances, it may provide some practical help for you. Money Saving Expert site

Anyway, you're in my thoughts. x

Sorry to hear about all of you/DH's who are struggling financially. DH found out yesterday that he is in the firing line. He should hear by (no) bonus time in Feb. Just what we don't need.

Good luck today AQ with the appointment. You are doing really well

My therapy is going well although I've found out I can't get it on insurance so have to decide whether to continue or not. I really want to continue. I am finding out so much stuff and starting to feel a tinsy winsy bit empowered.

Economic crisis is evil. Very sorry for the struggles.

Lennied shall we start a lack of sleep club? Had a bit of a melt down (again) last night. Dd went to bed like an angel but was up at 10, 10.30, midnight-ish. Resettled at 2, 3, 4, 4.30, fed at 5 and dozed on me til morning!

Bebe you'll be fine. Lennied and I are delierious and should not be listened to

AQ of course is in a league of her own and serves to remind us that it is possible. Am not even going to think about mentioning the woman with the octuplets on the news this morning.

AQ am attemting to see where things can be gently pushed towards routine and have been writing down her feeds, sleeps etc today to get a better picture. Must also work on dh for a p&t or something. Ds does get attention from me as thankfully dd often naps in bed so he has that time. Dh comes home for bath too so he has time with his daddy.

Bebe - you'll be fine, please ignore my moaning, it is ok really. Just have to vent somewhere, and you are all so lovely to listen to it all, DH switches off about 3 seconds after I open my mouth. Actually make that as soon as I open my mouth.

Yep, delierious is definitely something I am. How you even managed to spell that Indith I don't know!

DS slept last night and only fed 3 times - yay! - although total hours sleep is still 5ish at least I got those in 3 decent stretches rather than 20mins at a time. Feel like a new woman. Price to pay has been continuous feeding from 7am until about 10 mins ago - poor DD had had enough by 11am and has gone to see her GPs for lunch. She was so excited when I told her she could go - made me Sorry your DD had a bad night Indith... awful when you get a bad one isn't it, I feel like I have got in bed, sat in it awake all night feeding and then got out again some nights. It makes me wonder what the point of getting in it was in the first place. May as well have snuggled down on the sofa and watched a film or something.

Castles - I think you should definitely carry on if you can then, sounds like things are going well. It's a long term investment too, not like you won't see the benefit in many years to come.

Hope went well with DS1 AQ, and hope your DP is ok today. How was dental appointment Eli? I'm sure you've already said...

Oli have sent you a message on FB.

Oh, and meant to ask - my sister (who has given up b/f already... last week infact, twas HVs fault ... long story) has sent me some bits and bobs including some breast shells she bought to protect sore nipples... they are Boots ones. So how do I use them to collect milk? [thick emoticon] Do I just shove them in my bra? They make me look a bit like early-90s Madonna though definitely couldn't wear them for long, DH would be in fits.

Hey Madonna, you sound refreshed (5 hours sleep?! Ack, nothing beats a hungry newborn for sleep deprivation, not even dd2 at her most apnoea-ish) hope you get a 'good' night again tonight.

dd1 now has 3 crowns and 5 fillings apparently she has thin enamel, and its all on the surfaces between teeth that a brush can't get to (close fitting teeth). So now we floss like crazy and hope for the best. It was ok, apart from needle going in to back of hand (small Elibean trying to reassure/hold down feisty 5 yr old yelling 'get OFF me') which was horrid. Also think they overdid the sedation - she slept for 1.5 hours and was sick even then, and is still pale and feeling awful here at home. But its done

AQ, how was your appointment?

Margo, good site...will pass on to a few people I know, if thats ok, thanks.

Castles, hurrah for the therapy, hope you can get to carry on...would she do a reduced fee? DH always does, when needed, for his clients...most do, I think.

Poor dd1

Glad you had a good night Lennied Hopefully he was spurting and will settle a bit now.

With dd it is the fussing and the unsettledness that gets me, she only feeds about every 3 hours. At least there is a point to continual feeding! Am with you on using here to vent. Dh also switches off, when he is yelled at and told to at least listen to me he points out that I'm not the victim [frustrated].

Feel like today has been quite good. Not had major fussy patch and I think being aware of timings by writing it down helped a lot. Ds been in creche though, not sure how well it will go trying to repeat it with him around! Have had to force some awake patches on her, didn't realise quite how much she was just feeding and sleeping in the day, no wonder she does big awake patches at night

Oh and Lennied, yes you sterilise shells and put them in your bra. Just wear them around the house if you leak loads all the time or when you feed pop one in the other side. A friend of mine used to collect at least 2oz each feed like that so she had a good bottle of ebm by the end of the day no effort involved!

DP's main business (2/3rds of our income) is going into administration. Lost the big contract today. I don't know what to say to him. 8 years of work down the drain, 48 people to be made redundant and various family members have lost a lot of money too that they invested.

AQ I'm so sorry. Huge hugs to you. This recession is horrible, it isn't his fault, he hasn't failed, the situation just sucks fwiw fil has been made redundant with each economic downturn, there is always an up somewhere along the line.

Too much to catch up on but so sorry AQ

AQ what a huge, huge blow. I'm so sorry, and ditto what Indith says...its happening everywhere, so I really hope he doesn't blame himself and can at least grieve/be mad at the situation rather than at himself.

What do the family members say? Are they cool about it (as much as possible)?

So sorry AQ and Castles and Indiths' FIL.

Thanks everybody for all your words of encouragement - you´re a cracking bunch! Think a lot depends on the day. If I´m having one of those "I´m a crap mummy day" then I convince myself I´m never cope (gives oneself a quick slap on hand)

LenniEd - Ooh er Missus! LOL at the Madonna thing

Eli - your poor dd, what an awful thing. Hope she has a restful night and feels much brighter tomorrow

So sorry Castles and AQ, what a truly awful and worrying time

I get so sad when I look at the news and read what´s happening in the UK and feel so much for everybody that is affected by the recession. I hate to see what´s happening to my country and how so many people are suffering in this way

Oh god AQ, I'm so sorry, have no idea what to say at all.

Eli, glad today wasn't too bad for you and dd1. Thank goodness all the knocking out is over now, eh?

Indith/LenniEd, you'll get there, the rest of us are still here to tell the tale (it's a good job neiter of you can see us all rocking in our respective corners though ).

LenniEd, when you put the shells in your bra, make sure the pouring lip is pointing up or it gets a bit messy . Isn't he around 3 weeks or so now? Classic growth spurt time iirc.

Castles, can you keep up with the counselling until you know about dh's job, then re-evaluate?

The dcs have kindly given me their lurgy - raging sore throat, stuffy nose and swollen glands. Erk, am never ill so hate it all the more when I do succumb. Meh. Fortunately ds2 was still a bit iffy this morning so we took to my bed together and spent the morning asleep. Very self indulgent but I decided I deserved it!

Sorry to hear that AQ and Castles, I missed that before, not what either of you need right now.

Poor DD1 Eli - hopefully that is it for you now.

Sending get well vibes your way Oli morning in bed with DS2 sounds lovely though, I love it when DD falls asleep with me - sadly doesn't happen very often anymore.