ok, I apologise greatly as this is post is going to be me me me, as i've just not time for personals, have read back a bit though. I'm so sorry for being a selfish cow.
Just in answer to a few questions
Wilkie, I've had glandular fever, and yes you're right, it does feel alot like it again. It does come back after you've had it once, especially when run down, so i'm 'hoping' thats all it is. Don't like to think of other possibilities... being a nurse is shit sometimes, seriously, you do think yourself into the nastiest ailments! Am deffo going for tests next week if no better, have talked to gp, and he thinks I ought to have a few.
Things with DH are so so much better. He actually had listened to me !
He has made a huge huge effort to be here, every weekend, following him doing nights and days for about 5 weeks now. He is shattered,but still doing it. He is also really looking forward to it, every thursday calls to say how excited he is that he'll be seeing me, and next to me in bed. Then he says he is looking forward to seeing Izzy. Such a turn around, as for so long it's felt like he's only here for her. He's incredibly affectionate, and loving, and caring... oh, and we've re-discoverd our bedroom 'life' in a ig, and great way! TMI?
He's not instigated anything for months and months and months, has never rejected me, ever, but I've needed him to show me he wants me too IYSWIM? Anyway, he finally told me he'd just lost his confidence! god knows why! and that he does still want me in that way, but he just can't find a way to instigate anything.
anyway, i was just being really affectionate one night, and kissed him on the forehead, and was stoking his hair, like I always do, and I noticed he was shaking! so I carried things on a bit.. anyway, not going into any further detail, other than, he was so nervous, it was like the first time for us, he was all fumbling, and shaky, and so sweet, and so loving. we done it loads, of course since Izzy was born, but just not for a few months Really strange, can't work out why he's so worried, then so nervous! Anyway, all is ok in that dept now!
He's off next week, and we are both looking forward to it so much. I can tell he's genuinely happy, positive, and really seriously thinking about what kind of job he wants to move to here, which is just the best part of it all. I'm not pushing that one, has to be in his own time.
Anyway, once again, i've written an essay, all about me. So SO sorry each and all!
I will try to get a bit of time to be on properly tomorrow, and really want to catch up properly with you all. Please don't think i'm a selfish horrible cow, i'm not! I really do care about what's happening for all of you, I truly do. Hope you know this, and can forgive my self centered ramblings...
oh, lastly, we went to manchester, and I met up with a lovely lovely mummy from the slimming thread i frequent on here, was brilliant and out LO's got on so well. Held hands in their prams all the way from station to hotel, they've never met before, so sweet!
So on the saturday night I got all ready to go out to my investigation. Picked up Izzy to get her coat on, whilst Mr Cutie went for the car, and buggered my back! so, I couldn't go.Was so disappointed. Felt like such a wasted journey, train money, and hotel money... ( except of course seeing Katybumpy ) Good news was, I had a shit nights sleep with pain, really shit, and dozed off, to be woken by air conditioning making terrible noise. ( read on, it was good news! )
I Mentioned it to the receptionist on our way out, and she refunded the bill! So we didn't actually have to pay for the saturday night, and friday was paid for by Me C's company anywy, so right result, plus, they gave us vouchers for the dining room and coffees in costa coffee too!
We have been there so much, it was our second home last year, so we knew all the staff and management well, and they know Mr C stays in a premier inn every night of the week, so like to keep us sweet well, I was very happy leaving, as it saves us £85!
Like I say, I truly hope you are all ok, and once again, so sorry for my me me me post. please forgive me!