6 week rule hey? hmmm, not sure I would like that! maybe thats whats he's imposed on me?
Rat, you are not posting too much you dafty! yo have a really big thing happening to you, you need to talk about it, and I think Im right in saying that every one here, is here for you, anytime.
I am with all of you on the work thing. As you all know DH works away mon-fri though often he also does weekeds. Hes currently working nights and days. Goes in at some time between 7 - 8 am. Finishes at 5 ish, pm. Goes for a small nap, then is back out at 8ish, on site until anytime between 3am and 6am. To go back for a little nap, then all starts again! I'm sick to death of it. The tears i've cried over his job, are unreal.
I don't feel I can ask him to do too much at the w/e, as he has driven so far to get home to us. He has to have the rest, he just has to. This means that I never get a break, and I really really need one. Then, he'll have a week off, and come home and say, I hope you don't think i'm taking over on childcare, i'm here for a rest!!! luckily for him, he doesn't actually follow that through, lasts about a day...
I suppose though, that even him doing the little things does give me a bit of a break. He looks forward to giving her tea, bath and bed and all the routine in between. he loves it. He also insists on the 3 of us lying o the bed, reading a story (usually me who has to read) and just having a little relaxing time together then he puts Izzy to bed. I'd rather just let him get on with it all, so I can relax for an hour or so! still, it is always a nice moment. so can't really complain.
Thing is, with him being tired etc and driving so long to get home, on one hand I appreciate the effort, of course I do, then, on the other I think why am I appreciating it, of course he should bloody be here! Then i go back to thinking, but its so far, and takes so much out of him, then I think.. well, its his bloody choice, he could be working in london, or near by, and be here every night and weekend!
Yes, I love and adore him... so much. If there was any doubt, i'd not be here still, with all the shit he's put me through ( thank god izzy doesn't understand it yet)
Don't let him make you feel its all your fault Ratty, they're bloody good at that too, ime. He's behaving like a selfish arse. Infact, i've come to the conclusion, that even the nicest of men, are inherently selfish. They just are. Not an excuse at all, but they are born, utterly self centered. Mainly, I think because they're mums instill it on them, in a way that they don't with girls... I'm sure if it, nut thats a whole other debate!
He's got to learn how to balance his needs and hobbies, with the needs of the family, and your needs, and the needs of you as a couple... at the moment it sounds like he's not prepared to do that. Which is so sad, and so frustrating i'm sure , for you.
I can't help thinking you really need to establish why he wont go to relate etc... why has he totally given up, with out seemingly trying? I know this is not what you want to hear, but are you sure there is no-one else?
OH, mate, its all just horrible. I just hope he comes to his senses. mr C was depressed when I was preg, and treated me appallingly. I don't think he's out of it totally, but maybe you shoulr talk to DH about it, would he go to the GP?
RE Apprentice: I want to go and poke out Jenny's eyes! What a nasty horrible piece of work! She was SO rude! just because you shout and talk over someone trying to beat the into submission with your foul ugly mouth, doesn't make you a good team leader! I was fuming, and wanted to punch her in the face!