Jan '07 part 24: As soon as she's finished her nativity scene, Loosh is going to knit each and every 101 Dalmation!

[2HipHopandHappy]

No, really

Rat - I'd be inclined to continue with purchase as you dont know what will happen and you need somewhere to live when your sale goes through. Plus he'll be obliged to pay you maintenance (iirc something like 20% of net pay) plus you'd get working tax/child tax credits as lone parent and you may be entitled to other benefits (I know its not ideal and not what you want but didnt know if you had thought about them I know my friend who is a single parent gets 25% off her council tax bill as she is sole adult occupier) plus if S goes to nursery (sorry cant remember if he goes to nursery or your Mum has him) you get up to 80% of his fees paid.

Dragon I have a feeling you are having a boy and Vino a girl, so we'll see in a few months

Rgee - thanks for my virttual glass of wine

I sold the double swing I bought in March for £5 (was error on website should have been £50) and sold it on ebay for £15 at 5.30 and they've already collected it, they bought their little boys are were a tad excited about having a double swing!!

Rat - you can come and move in with me! We could re-shoot that BBC program Young Mum's Mansion!!

UD how are things with you and MrUD? Tell me to p*ss off if you don't want to say, but I know you two were having a shite time of late....

ooh ud that sounds great.
we could spend the day picketing mcdonalds, attacking fruit shoots (I dont really have an issue with them, but it'd be a laugh) and all kinds of militant things, and then go home (put kids to bed of course, using Nick Cave if necessary) and veg in front of spaced with our fags

Im crap with links but ill try www.cosmos.co.uk/villas/Baleric-Islands/Menorca/Cala'n-Blanes/Villa-Clara-2

No it dident work

you forgot the cheap white wine!!

i like the sound of that!

right, now I am up without dh being around, can you give me your opinion on him? I think he is losing it slightly....

He has hardly eaten for a couple of weeks and has lsot nearly a stone (he doesnt need to).
He says he isnt sure whether he wants to stay or go, and this separation will help him get his head together. In the meantime, we are acting just as we normally do - still laughing together. kissing goodbye etc. Just no sex.
He says I am in control too much. Basically I have to sort out everything in the house PLUS for a baby, as he doesnt do it. So, he wants to get a room and sort his own finances out, open a bank account himself etc. This is going to cost hundreds of pounds we dont have.
He says I am not spontaneous anymore, and I have lost my 'edge' and need to do things (hobbies etc) for myself. Well that will be easy to do things in the evening with a baby in bed and not being able to leave the house, wont it.

It seems to me that he is just setting himself up to move out permanently. I have said he has 1 month to decide. He reckons he wants us to work. I am REALY confused as to what the hell is going on in his head.

Honestly?
Ratbunny - I think he sounds like an immature dick. Sorry. Guess that isn't constructive, but you did ask xxx

Rgee - I have a double tape of RAVE 92, full of dodgy "rave" anthmns. Such as "E's are good" by the Shamen. Beat that!

Eah - you could no way have been as bad as a girl I served last week. She was not due till the end of OCTOBER and spent over £250 worth of stuff. I wanted to shake some sense into her. (she brought all the matching items to one of our schemes)

Rats - I think you should let him get on with it. Do you want him to stay? Do you want to stay together?

I'm sorry but you have to think of you and Saul. Make sure you will be alright financially and emotionally without h. Work out what tax credits etc you will be entitled to without him. Then just let him go. Let him get on with whatever he needs to be doing.

I'm a big fan of being emotionally separate from your other half - it means that you're not dependent on them and if (when) they fuck up or out you're not devastated.

And I agree with Liz's assessment of him. He sounds like an emotionally deficient child - not a husband and father.

PS: for those of you wondering how me and "d"h are getting on, see here

thanks for your honesty. I think he is being a knob - he is sacrificing our family for god knows what reason. Anything between me and him can be sorted out, surely it's worth that? So if he cant be arsed, I can only think that he doesnt WANT a family. What a knob after 14 years of marriage to chuck it all away.

He is actually out flat hunting now. It is beginning to hit home what is happening. PArt of me wont let me feel sorry for myself and is determined to stay strong, but the other part just wants to cry. . I havent seen him all day, and force of habit keeps me listening out for his car on our drive. I suppose I just have to block it all out and carry on as I normally do.

But even the little things are hitting me - like I'd like a beer tonight as it's such a nice evening. So I'll have to go down the shop (a 10 minute drive away) before I get S ready for bed. Or I ran out of fags, and couldnt go to the shop as S was in bed.

What do I do on my own? My friends are all with young kids themselves / miles away. I feel so alone.

Oh Rat, I feel so sorry for you. He sounds really f*cked up - and youa re certain there is no one else involved?? How long have you been together? It just seems really weird to suddenly be like this. It is almost as though he wants to end it but can't bring himself to just sever ties so is doing it all gradually.

Sorry, I have no answers, I admire the fact that you have made such an effort - going to Relate etc, but it almost sounds to me as though this relationship has run its course.

You will, of course, cope if the worst happens. Thousands of women do it. It will be hard but think how much happier you would be if you are in control of your life. At the moment he is just confusing you.

UD - will read your thread a bit later, I hope you are OK too.

I dunno girls, blokes can be shit can't they.

xx

Evening,

Just thought I would show my face - not had time to catch up on all the news except for rubbish dhs/dps and various ailments.

I have to say I am abit of a Slack Alice when it comes to ds - mil is a bit sometimes at us for example -

-does not have any milk (he hates it and since stopping bf a few months ago has not touched a drop

-sleeps with us on and off

-still not walking and even more no shoes - well started to take a few steps this week.

-refuse to shop in supermarkets so have a chronic lack of food in the house - which I have to admit is a problem as veeeery hungry and farm shop shut.

-ds looks like a bit of a girl with his luscious locks (we call him willamina) mind you mil and I attacked his mop with a pair of scissors today so looks a little more under control.

Right two fingers up to all men (except my dh who is actually OK and onto the next glass of wine - will get to personals tomorrow when I can actually read

loosh

PS MAry and Baby Jesus done starting on Joseph but probably not tonight as a leetle tipsy.

PPS UD with you with the myopia (such a good word)

Hey - I know what myopia is too!! Can I be in your gang purhlease.........!!

Have been sat in my garden all afternoon whilst J played on the grass listening to the lovely sounds of:

'Oi you fcking cnt' 'Fck off you prick'
'I'll fcking knock you out you little twat'
'For f*cks sake'

Our neighbours are truly delightful. Am on countdown to moving!

not sure why they ended up in bold...!

Loosh - I've started knitting too!! Am doing a jumper for 3-4 year old! Thought I may actually manage to finish it in time.

Wilkie - Your neighbours sound delightful. A couple of doors up from us recently were playing "cry your eyes out" by the streets. And in a similar vien to your neighbours, were extilling its musical virtues. I think they would get on with your neighbours. [SNOBBY emotion]]

Ugh, I have such chronic hayfever. Not Happy!!

All our neighbours are retired so either not here or cutting grass with nail scissors - we hang our heads in shame over our front garden but it does make it lovely and quiet (but a little boring).

Lizz - a jumper blimey good going glad to see you have left plenty of time.

eand - sorry to read about shit boss hope you get it sorted but i am over 5.45 bedtime that is amazing.

Right back to the wime

Loosh - do you want me to sed you a photo copy of the pattern? Its got girls/boys/blanket/hats pattern on it.
(I did 5 rows of 72 stitches last night...it took me over an hour!!!) I am going to be like the grannies in the shreddies advert!

Knitting is really back in fashion. Am so tempted to take it up again (can you knit and MN at the same time?). When I was about 7 I knitted a swimming costume for my Sindy doll.

lizz - how old is the lo you are knitting it for?

Had a good day with S. Went to the library where he did a runner with an autobiography of Sharon Osborne. Then went to a park, where he went over the wobbly bridge on his own. . It's been a gorgeous day here!

I think dh is really seriously depressed. I can recognise what he is doing from when I get low - absolving responsibility, escaping, pushing people away, not eating (though I tend to overeat instead). I think he recognises it, and he needs to get to the doctors ASAP really. He still wants to move out, but that worries me, as if I was alone and in as dark a place as he is I really wouldnt take care of myself at all.

I am considering spiking his drinks with prozac...

Rat - can you not speak to the GP on his behalf and see what they say? What a difficult situation you're in

Well, we have been up since 4.40am. I am not happy.

Morning - I have asked 'D' H to move out today, he has really really let me down and more inportantly put the girls safety at risk and I willnot stand for it, so girls are up and dressed, going to do breakfast and get our stuff together for the day and go to my brothers in a bit (girls have a party at 11am so will take clothes to change them into) told 'd'h to be out by 3pm and to tell his parents (that's where he'll end up) the truth about why I have asked him to go and if he gets some help maybe we could see what'll happen but for the moment I am to raw and angry to have him near me and the girls

EAH - omg. What on earth has happend? Hope you can sort it out soon xxxx