December 2007: It's all worth it for the smiles.

[claraquitetirednow]

I've never started a new thread before - has this worked?

Clairybee - yep -- perfectly. I'd just check every so often that not getting hot but both my DD's have slept loads after jabs. DD2 slept right through after hers a few weeks ago - but unfortunately didn't continue the trend

DH home early and not impressed with my border sticking attempt - he reckons I've deliberately done a bad job to force him into doing it - possibly right after all I've only been on at him for 5 months or so to do it - and it's a tiddy room

Skid - what a good memory! We were going to call DD2 Hannah but DH decided at the last minute that he had 'gone off' that name and picked Aliya instead. Since I chose DD1 name, we decided he could pick DD2 name as long as it was something we both liked. LOL don't worry I think staying up until 10pm is also having a late night. Good luck with the one hand feeding

McDoodle - am mixed feeding and what I do is one feed BF and the next feed FF. Am much happier doing this as I found BF depressing.

Loucee - hope you aren't feeling too down. My mum stayed for a while and it was lovely having her cook and ensuring the house was spotless (just the way I like if !)

Suey2 - Am feeling bored at home on some days, but am trying to pull myself out of it and hopefully help to overcome my PND by making sure I go out twice during the weekdays - once to parent and toddler group (went there this morning and it was lovely making new friends and meeting people) and also meeting friends for lunch once a week. I must say it has helped lots and hoping to go back to my GP in 2 weeks to review my PND status.

Furry - glad you having a good day

Beanstermummy - yes I do feel a bit like a fake when I go to partent and toddler group, but am hoping I build up some sort of friendship with a few of the parents so that we can arrange to meet up outside these times and after I have gone back to work. I think it will be nice not just for the social aspect (I've not lived in this area for long so haven't made any local friends) but hopefully arrange playdate etc for my DDs too. (bit optimistic I know - but we'll see)

clairybee - I had the opposite; when DD2 had her jabs she was up every 2 hrs at night.

Amani - how is your supply holding up to alternate feeds? Do you express at all to keep it up or has it adjusted?

Mathilda slept from 10-7.30 on friday - was wonderful and thought we had cracked it but she has been up loads the last couple of nights!

Pecka - my supply has adjusted, but there are times where my boobs do feel full so I just express.

Talking about sleep I just realised that I haven't slept through the night for over 2 yrs!! Kids!!!

Amani me neither-August 2005 was the last time I had a full nights sleep!

DS stirred earlier so I woke him properly and fed him then made him play for a little bit, he's now back asleep though. Really hoping all this daytime sleep won't mean I have an awful night...

Claireybee - How is ds after his jabs now? dd2 was more restless than usual after hers but I think dd1 slept for a good few hours after hers

On the subject of sleep. How often do your lo's sleep during the day? Or how much of the day are they awake?

Hi all,

Well my night from hell turned into day from hell, ds was fractionous and hysterical all evening, and I had a bit of a breakdown. Kept ringing around people just to speak someone because I just couldn't cope. DH really pissed me off when I spoke to him because I didn't he understood why I was so upset - not because I couldn't calm ds down but because I felt I had gone to pieces when he needed me
Am better today and we had a reasonable night after he went to sleep at 8pm.
Have had a better today, ds and I got up at 7am and he went into his bouncy chair, was happy and playing with the toys on the arch, then fussed because he wanted out and when I undid the straps I was rewarded with a huge beaming smile
Going to talk to the HV tomorrow because there were times last night that I was frightened I was going to hurt my little boy, and it is not the first time I've lost it with him.

Bouncing - sorry, you have had a rough time the last few days and glad youu had a better one today. its probably a good idea to speak to HV - do you think it might be pnd? thats not to say its not normal to feel like your not coping but if its worrying you its probably best. ((hugs)) for you.

To whoever asked about how much little one slept in the day my dd had a picture perfect routine day - i wonder what tonight will bring!

she will be 8 weeks on friday and this is what i aim for

Wake up and Eat at 7am
Get dressed, gurgle, smile until about 8.30
Sleep until 10am

Wake up and eat at 10am
sit in bouncer, mat, talk to me, look at lights etc until 11.30am
Sleep until 1pm

Wake up and eat 1pm
Activity as above until 2.30pm
Sleep til 4pm

Wake and eat 4pm
Activity as above (i keep this one quite quiet as she is prone to being overtired)
Quick catnap for 30-40 mins to stop her getting too tired for last feed/bath etc

Wake and eat 6.30pm
Activity of awake time, bath and pjs until about 7.15/30
Into nursery and small top up feed, sit and have quiet cuddles then into bed to fall asleep

Asleep by 7.30/8

All of these times are the absolute ideal day to me but quite often things are shifted depending on what dd needs (I go by baby whisperer cues and the stuff i have learnt from dunstan system stuff i found really intresting)

Dreamfeed about 10.30

Cross fingers!!!! ONCE she has then gone all the way through to 7.30 but normally there is a feed about 3/4am.

Sorry that was long! thought it might be of interest a

xx

oh Bouncing it can be so hard when they are inconsolable my DD1 was exactly like that - I remember pacing the floor singing song after song crying my heart out - and hating H cos he didn't get it or help
Sometimes I had to just put her in her cot close the door and go downstairs for 15 mins just do that if you feel you will lose it and have a drink (either a soothing cup of tea or a small glass of wine )...the worst thing will be if he cries hyterically for 15 mins won't do him any harm...or he might just fall asleep ...
AND GO SEE YOUR GP if you are worried - I would be more than understanding (but then I am a lovely GP )
Pecka that routine sounds fab - afraid DD2 just has to fit in with DD1 multiple activites - and I seem to be rushing about all the time - try to plan around feeds though as she sleeps immediately in car or pram Trying to get some night time routine - so feed whle DD1 has tea then bath them both together between 6-7 downstairs for play/TV then feed upstairs in dark and try and get them both in bed for 8ish (but DD2 often cluster feeds this time)...she has been sleeping then till 2-3 am and last night till 4am (tried dream feed at 11pm when I went to bed in hope of getting her to sleep through but she just clamped mouth closed and snored )....she is a lovely placid baby and quite happy in day on mat/chair/playing - only cries when she pooes or is hungry lucky lucky me - she is spending more time awake in day now probably 1 long sleep of 2-3 hours and 2 shorter ones either side ..

The friend I contacted last night thinks I might have pnd, when I did the questionnaire, HV didn't tell me score but said, "Hmm yes I'd better come and see you".

BT - Sorry you have felt like that the last couple of days I don't know much about pnd personally but I can sympathise with you and think I have felt similar a few times myself. A couple of times I have just lost it and been in tears on the phone to DH. It seems everything I could do for dd wasn't right and she's just screamed and cried. I think I stress to easily so this week I'm just staying calm and snapping myself out of it as soon as I feel myself getting worked up iyswim. Good idea to speak to your HV I think. Glad today hasn't been as bad

Pecka - I think my dd2 probably sleeps roughly the same amount as you have just put in your rotine but usually the awake time is not 'happy' awake time and usually spent crying. Today she's been a happy little soul though so hopefully it's the start of things to come I wish I could get our bedtime part as good as yours sounds

Bouncing I think first babies are a huge shock to the system I know mine was - I am a competent capable person with a professional job and along came this tiny screaming little person that I had no control over and all this love responsibilty and despair all mixed together - I had PND it was all too much I had medication for 6 months which helped a lot ....this is a standard questionnaire and some info on this link you can do it online and feedback to GP or HV
www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/40002172/

DD has transformed recently into happy, gurgly baby (touch wood etc)

the things i think have helped are cranial osteopathy - she has had 2 sessions and ive noticed marked improvement after both (she has refluxy issues), putting a bit of structure in so i feel a bit more in control and can better read her cries depending on where in the day we are. dunstan baby language which basically teaches you 5 words that your baby uses in cries depending on the need.

Bouncing - do you think any of these could help you?

DD is my 3rd baby but has knocked me for six more than the other two as she is my first baby that has had periods of prolongued crying - it is really dreadful and enough to drive anyone to the edge.

can you try to see what you are doing well? your breastfeeding efforts have impressed me from the start and you have dealt admirably with everything you have encountered.

Bouncing, sorry you're having such a tough time, its sooo hard when they cry and cry and you can't help them. However much you love them it does get too much at times. It is good that you can recognise your feelings though and I definitely think you should speak to your HV or GP asap x

Clairey, I have an awful memory so I cheat write myself notes as I read through the posts so I don't forget anything!

Macdoodle, I am impessed at your expressing! I have never managed that much in one go let alone that fast! Have not even tried to express yet as worried there will then not be enough for DD, don't even have a breast pump!

Loucee, my stomach muscles are still separate from the belly button up at the moment - Doc said if they were still like that when baby is 3 months then go back. He said with me it is probably due to 3 pgs and large bumps!

Furry, I don't think it is anything you do or don't do which makes a baby unsettled, they are all different and it amazes me how much personality they have from birth! It does change though, my placid DS1 turned into a little bugger not-so-placid toddler. DS2 stayed placid thankfully. Although she is mostly very content DD already seems quite wilful, when she is hungry, wants a cuddle, wants to play, etc she is very vocal about letting me know and if I keep her waiting she very quickly gets angry! DD has no real pattern for daytime sleeping, some days she sleeps most of the day and others she will be awake loads. She was the same when I was pg too though. Evenings are starting to get into a routine though and thankfully she is much more settled (she used to scream all evening unless swaddled and held in exactly the right position - which was different every night...). She has a feed sometime between 8-9.30, chats for a bit then settles to sleep on me, in chair or in carrycot. I keep her downstairs until I go to bed around 12-1am. This makes her stir so I change her nappy and she will have a snack feed without waking up completely and then go through until around 6am. I will have to start putting her in her cot when she gets snoozy in the evening (rod, own, back...) but I love having her where I can see her still.

Beanster, I definitely have flat days too although I confess that the days I enjoy the most are the ones where I am at home all day and can snooze and spend time with DD.

Pecka, your routine sounds fantastic BTW!

Also, I have a poo question. I am sure this has been gone over before but does anyone else's BF baby poo all the time? DD does loads in a day and with quite a few of them there is so much it leaks out. It doesn't seem to be affecting her weight though, she was 12lb 4oz today (7 weeks)! That's nearly 8 oz this week - little dumpling!

Beckle mine is BF and poos loads as well mostly in dat thank goodness...we have had some disastrous leaks - on to H jeans, right through snowsuit, on leather chair
She is porker too 13lbs13oz on monday at 8 and half weeks
Oh and that expressing is with a hospital strength electric expresser (lent to me by a friend) it is amazing (if a little old) I never manged at all with DD1 ...

Yeah Ha - trying not to be smug but DD2 went from 11pm to 06:45am this morning

Realised last week that a quiet half asleep feed at 11pm wasn't a full feed so unsurprisingly she was waking at 4 ish for more so we've been trying to wake her up a bit more (just for half an hour or so) and she's now feeding really well at 11 so maybe it's working - no doubt though I'll be back on tomorrow knackered after a rubbish night! Fast asleep again now and I may join her. I think the main reason she better at night though is that she's now in a sleeping bag and has found her thumb to settler herself to sleep with - I heard her at 3 ish but just let her settle on her own and magically it worked - very happy Mummy here.

As for poo's - DD2 hasn't done one for 3 days now - but it's not unusual for completely BF babies to do that - although she is farting like a trouper which is impressing her Daddy no end

Thanks for all your kind words ladies, don't know what I would do if I hadn't found you all back we our los were just bumps!
Furry - yes I had a extremely stressful professional job before I had ds, so I think it does make it harder that I can be so undone by a little baby! Have to agree about the boredom as well that others have mentioned, feel as though brain is turning into mush!
Macdoodle - thanks for the link! I really admire how you've managed with your big dd and new baby and waste of space H! He is a very silly man to give up someone as wonderful as you!
Pecka - I will look into them, the Dunstan thing sounds very interesting.
Beckle - thanks@ expecting HV anytime now.
Had a good night, ds woke up 3 times to be fed and we slept in again until about 7am.
He is happily playing in his bouncy chair gurgling away! Going to play with him now.

Hope you are all having a good day!!!

BouncingT Things with you sound very similar to me with DD1 a few years ago. As with you, I was in a good, professional managerial job with 35 staff delivering multi million pound construction projects - it hit me like a tonne of bricks when all of a sudden my life was controlled by this littler person - or at least that's how I see it now. It was actually only when I went back to work (sideways shift due to project issues etc - but again in hind sight that probably didn't help although I saw it as the best option at the time) that I really had a bit of a melt down and had to go and see the HV and doctor. I was put on a mild AD for around a year really and although not a magic fix the real flat days and the times when I just wanted out and away from the responsibility of family/work gradually went away. It's a horrid time but my one piece of advice is to try and talk about it (sound crap I know) - Admitting to myself that I wasn't coping was the worse thing for me - after all these 16 years on their own manage so surely I could (?!) - but once I was able to be more open with things to my Mum, Sisters and friends etc it does make things better. Also, all of a sudden you find out so many other people have suffered with PND too - mums you never would have thought, which in a perverse way also helped me.

On a massive positive note - this time around with DD2 not a sign of my marbles rolling away - yet! Some days are crap but I've been really trying to pause and ask myself why am I feeling low, has anything happened to trigger it etc etc and as I said - so far so good.

Please keep your chin up and I'm sending massive happy thoughts to you and your DS - and keep posting whenever you're feeling down or up - I have a feeling that if I'd been a MNetter with DD1 I might not have felt quite so alone in it all either big hugs xx

hi all,
bt you poor thing! if it is any comfort the people i know who have suffered have also been very high achievers and in hindsight have put a lot of pressure on themselves to be the perfect mum.
went to gp this morning as millie had not pooed for 5 days and was starting to refuse food. straining and farting and generally uncomfortable. one suppository and 10 minutes later- huge amount of poo. she is now asleep on my lap as she is a bit clingy with the stress of it all today.

Suey2 - you've got me thinking now exactly how long it is since DD2 pooed. - must be 4 days but she seems okay with it - saying that is currently having a tantrum in her basket refusing to go to sleep even though she is completely exhausted HOw dramatic was the suppository and subsequent poo - wondering whether I need to phone up for something similar but may need DH's assistance ?!

YOu're spot on I think with the 'putting pressure on yourself to be the perfect Mum - comment - you do feel like that sometimes - like everyone you meet, even strangers will be thinking and commenting to themselves on everything you do

Actually it was really easy- i just popped it in- not a whimper! And the look of sheer relief on her face when the farts actually worked. I was pretty grossed out by the thought, though

BT sounds similar to how I was a few weeks ago-felt so shit that all ds did was cry and that I wasn't managing to get anything done. I did shout at him a couple of times and have had to leave him to it a couple of times when I could feel myself losing it. Luckily my HV was v supportive, especially after she witnessed a couple of his screaming fits and she thinks that talking about it early enough has nipped any pnd in the bud

Having said that though, am having an AAAAARRRGH day today! DS slept well enough last night...but only if he was lying on me! If I tried to lie him down, either in cot or next to me he woke up and started crying. So I had to sleep propped up last night and after the previous couple of bad nights it has taken it's toll. Went to toddlers which usually helps but all the toddlers were trying to kill each other today so none of us could relax. And I had it in my mind that today I'd do some of the jobs I haven't been able to do with ds in the sling-like clear out wardrobe and reorganise some of the stuff from mils visit but he won't let me put him down! Felt like screaming at him earlier cos was getting so frustrated but have accepted for now that I can't do what I wanted to (and as long as I shut the wardrobe door and ignore the pile of stuff to sort out I'm ok!)

That's what they should tell you about having babies - you can never control your own life again!

Beckle ds was pooing every feed until this week when he has started going just two or three times a day-it seems thicker now too.