December 2007: It's all worth it for the smiles.

[claraquitetirednow]

I've never started a new thread before - has this worked?

anyone else amazed at how 'adult sounding' their LO fart's and burps are? Yesterday DD2 let a very noisy one out of her bottom and I got confused as to whether it was my DH trying to annoy me or if it really was DD2.

Same here am continually asking DD1 if she has just farted
Wow just expressed 4oz in 5 min most impressed

Evening all - yet again a few days off line and I've misses tonnes.

News from up here is that DD2 has found her thumb and is now happily sleeping in a sleeping bag rather than swaddle blanket and seems to be able to settle herself back if she half wakes which is very jolly - still waking at 4 to 5 ish for night feed though with no signs of dropping it - not so good

Having an up and down day to day - actually been out all day meeting various folks and a bit of shopping but feel all sort of flat - does any one else out there have those days?? need to go to the bottom of the garden and shout really loudly at no-one in particular possibly! Or maybe a glass of wine??

MacDoodle - that expressing is pretty impressive - bit fed up on that front here as I was doing fine a month or so ago and then for various reasons didn't for a while and tried on Friday and managed 1 measly ounce - not impressed - had hoped to express a fair bit as DD2 got older but maybe it's that I just have enough for her and no spare. Bit annoying though more than anything else.

On a jollier note, booked out skiing holiday for next year at the weekend and so am now imagining DD1 on ski's - very cute at 3 - also now have the incentive to get my lazy ass into gear and lose weight and get fitter so a) I actually fit into my ski gear and b) can manage a whole run without having to stop for a breather half way down the slope

hi all,
frantic day today. In work this morning to fire someone and do a load of admin. The i went to the cinema with an antenatal mate and our babies- st trinians. Film dreadful, but it is such a good laugh- the babies really seem to love it.

loucee go and see a physio- you need a graduated programme

Another one who has missed a few days on here and probably can't catch up...again.

It's encouraging to see theres a few of us that have the days where we feel like we're just not coping. At the moment I feel like I have a lot more not coping days than coping I'm not sure if it's because I've got a toddler as well but I don't think it is. Sometimes I just feel like dd2 cries all the time and nothing I do helps her Anyway enough of the self wallowing

I'm another who hasn't done the deed yet. I think it was about 4 months after dd1 so I've still got another 2 to go at least

Beanster - How exciting that you've booked your holiday for next year We're going away in June this year and just staying in England. Am very excited about it although not sure how much of a 'holiday' it will be with a 6 month old and a nearly 3 year old

Clara - Hope you have a lovely time in Devon. It does sound like bliss but like you say, time will tell

Amani - Same here with the adult wind

Macdoodle - We're ff but that expressing is fab

Also have a dribbler here as well. Did wonder if it was teeth but have had a feel of the gums and I don't think it is.

So is everyone elses babies really happy now or at least content? Because I'm starting to think I have a unhappy baby or maybe there's something wrong with her . Stll every evening she seems to want to be rocked/walked around with before she settles at about 11pm otherwie she is just crying. Maybe its just colic

Well baby had her jabs and slept for 3 hours straight so missed a feed - so boobs were both very full and figured if I expressed one she could feed the other when she woke up
Usually takes 10-15 mins for 5-6 ozs Building up a little stock slowly but am not so keen on starting whole business of sterilising and trying to get her to take bottles though am desperate to get out with my mates for a few hours by myself!!
Anyone mixed feeding how is it going ??

Suey - X posts. Sorry you had to fire someone, can't have been nice Cinema sounds fab though

oh furry DD1 was like that she cried all evening every evening for 3 months it was soul destroying DD2 is a much calmer placid baby very rarely cries but reckon I deserve it after my bloody horrid year (seperating from H after he cheated and got OW pregnant) and is hard enough being single mum to 6 year old and baby even when baby is so good Feel very lucky and blessed DD1 is trying her best but bless her is a very energetic lively (dare I say demanding) child

macdoodle - I know compared to others I have it easy. DH is fantastic with the girls and does more than his fair share and I feel guilty for complaining that dd2 cries a lot, she is a baby after all. It's just so draining. Dd1 who is 2.6 was quite a crying baby but not as much as dd2, I thought it would be easier second time round DD1 is a typical toddler and always on the go, I think I'm just finding it a real juggling act with the two of them and feeling sorry for myself Your dds are gorgeous btw

Furry didn't mean at all to make you feel bad - just wanted to sympathise/empathise (as DD1 was hard baby even with H about) and didn't want to sound smug about DD2 - sorry all came over a bit rambly the joys of baby brain and lack of sleep

Oh macdoodle you didn't make me feel bad at all and you didn't sound smug about your dd2 either, it's great that she's so placid After moaning about dd so much I must admit she is happily laying in her moses basket at the moment looking at me very lovingly

FurryFox - dd2 is a relatively easy baby (I think - she seems easier than dd1 anyway) and I still find it really hard juggling her and a toddler so you have my sympathies. Like you I am lucky with dh who helps a lot - when he is here (he has been away a lot, which has been stressful).

Today I was feeding dd2 while dd1 did a poo on the potty, then tried to wipe her own bum, then proceded to pick the potty up and try and take it into the toilet to empty herself....

I managed to unlatch dd2 in time to stop a disaster!

Hi all,

furry - poor you. Please don't feel bad - having a colicky baby is horrendous and of course it gets you down. Hopefully th end is near though as it can;t be too long until she is 3 months old when colic tends to peter out. My brother had colic and my mum says he went from being horrendous to the loveiliest baby in the world over night so really hope that will happen for you too.

Plus juggling a toddler and a newborn is just so hard anyway even if the baby is 'easy' so you are completely justified in feeling down!

clara - hope the holiday is a success - with your DH around to help out I'm sure it will be

clairey - so glad to hear your DS is becoming easier to look after, and happier in himself. You have been such a trouper with your 2 hour stints in the night. Hopefully that is it now. Also great your DH has risen to the occasion

amani - congrats on the once a night waking - a long cry from the 1.5 hours you were enduring - does that seem a long time ago now? BTW have been meaning to ask - I remember you were going to call your dd Hannah but she is Aliya - is that right? What happened - did you just see her and know Hannah wasn;t right?

Re DTD - Am SOOO relieved to hear i am not the only one who has not done their wifely duty!! And that those who have did not find it particularly enjoyable. I'm sure it is due to BF, and being pawed all day by DD and DS - there's only so much pawing you can take in a 24 hour period... anyway am now feeling OK about it so it can happen when it happens

Went to an NCT group today and some of the other mums tried to teach me how to BF with one hand so think I may be on the way. I think the problem I have is not 'trusting' DS to get a good latch himself (maybe because of his tongue tie?) but am trying to reliquish control to him and seems to be working-ish..

What on earth am I doing up at this time? it's nearly 10pm. Off to bed immediately!

lol Skid at being up at 10pm! I need to go to bed myself but these twilight hours when the kids are in bed are just so enjoyable and
I didn't realise bfing with one hand free was a skill to learn and now am feeling a bit guilty as I took it for granted - one of the major pros of bfing for me was the fact I always had a hand free to type or make tea/toast etc or read a book. I have tiny boobs though so no need for rolling up towels etc and I just lift DS towards boob and he's such a little vacuum that he latches on. I do think though my boobs became bullet proof after the weeks of problems I had with DD (TMI but I think they are numb now!)

Suey I've got my 6wk check on Thurs (at 9.5wks post natal) so I'm going to push for a referral to a physio then, I'm glad you've confirmed it would need to be a programme of some sort rather than just "here, do these exercises and everything will sort itself out".

Clara can just imagine the scenario with your DD and the potty thank goodness you got there in time.

Furry I know how hard it is with a toddler and newborn and like others I consider myself quite lucky with DS being not as demanding as DD was (maybe it's a boy thing?) so don't even think that you are moaning, it's hard going and you need to vent.

Beanster yes, lots of "flat" days here as well. I find Mondays are always harder than others because they're on the back of busy weekends when DH is at home.

I was spoilt last week having my parents to stay but they went home on Saturday so I've been feeling a bit deflated. It was lovely having the company and extra pairs of hands etc. Ah well just gives me motivation to make more of an effort for going down to see them and also encouraging them to come up more often

is anyone (whisper) getting a bit bored? I find i am craving some adult company without constantly having an ear out for the LO. I have decided what the payback will be for DH's ski trip though- he is to have sole charge of millie for an 8 hour stretch on 2 saturdays. (that's the most i can really go without having to feed or express.) I just have to tell him!

suey - you are not alone! i've resorted to going up to dh's book warehouse to price paperbacks on a couple of occasions just for something to do that isn't solely baby-related. it's taken me a few weeks to feel brave enough to admit that motherhood and babies are far from the be all and end all. still feels slightly treacherous thing to think...

Suey - welcome to the wonderful world of stay-at-home mothering! It can be very boring, even when they are older and therefore much more interesting! This is why so many people use MN

I get through the days by making sure we have lots on - I usually see a friend on Monday's with a baby the same age as martha, Tumbletots on Wed, my NCT group still meet on Thursdays and we go to a toddler group on Fridays.

I would go INSANE with boredom if I didn't get out most days.

Having said that I love days on my own just with Martha now as I can put her down and do things like catching up on emails/MN and clean the fridge (as I have just done,saintly emoticon). Oh and watch EastEnders while feeding her!

Dundee - I am really interested, please don't take this the wrong way, but did you think it WOULDN'T be at least a bit boring? I only ask because I believe most women (myself included) don't really know what it's like being a mother until we become one. Not just the boredom side of it, but the emotional responsibility, the physical tiredness, how much it totally takes over your life etc. No matter what anyone tells you or how many books you read or classes you attend, I don't think it is possible to know what it is like until you have experienced it.

I also think this is one of things that can lead to PND. Not sure what the answer is, but I think better post natal (as opposed to ante natal) care and advice would be a step in the right direction.

Suey/Dundee yes I also get feelings like that and agree with Clara that by filling my days as much as possible helps a lot. I was discussing this with DH the other night - was I alone in feeling like this? Is it PND? Is it NORMAL? From talking to some mums at toddler group though it IS normal and pretty much they all felt the same hence why there's so many toddler groups (two or three a day in my town), MN, friends meeting up with babies etc.

well I'm covered in sick (DS) sudocream(DD) and soup (Clumsy me) so off to get a change of clothes!

Thank you ladies for reasurring me last night and telling me it's ok to feel the way I did, it helped a lot I think dd2 may have been reading this thread last night though as today she has been so different Has been awake most of the morning but instead of her normal crying and needing to be constantly held she has happily been in her bouncy chair, on her playmat and is now asleep in her basket DD1 has been a star as well and is now having a nap

I think it's perfectly normal to get bored at home but I must admit I used to get bored at work sometimes and could never wait to get home, there's just no pleasing me I too think getting out helps a lot as breaks up the day/week. Not always easy to get out though or at least thats what I'm finding Think I need to get myself and the girls into a bit of a routine.

Clara - Bless your dd for trying to empty her potty herself. How's the potty training going? I've just started with dd1 and it's going ok-ish...I think

Furry definitely not! DS is starting to settle down now but he is far from an easy baby! He also requires me to be standing/pacing/rocking-I hardly sit down all day (one reason why I'm not complaining about the v frequent feeds, at least I can sit and relax through those!)

Suey, I agree with Clara that getting out and about makes a huge difference although it doesn't stop you from always listening out for the LO! I'm now at the stage where if I ever do do anything without a child in tow I feel naked-you know that feeling where you've forgotten something? I also don't find I ever fully relax-I'm always conscious of being on call. Clara is right, it does completely take over your life

DS only had me up twice last night...but dd was up 7 times. Something not quite right there!

Skid I think you are right about the pawing. I don't know if you remember on the AN thread I said I was worried about not wanting to cuddle dd if was spending loads of time feeding ds (as hadn't wanted dh to touch me if I ever got a moment free from dd when she was tiny). Of course I have still wanted to cuddle dd, but dh is again bearing the brunt!

cross post furry-glad you are having a better day!

Claraquitetirednow and others - exactly right re the boredom - I like to think some days are a bit like groundhog day so even one little thing done differently etc makes it seem better. One issue I have (and it'd be interesting to see if any of you other 'normally working' mothers think this), is that lots of the groups/clubs/events etc are focused around long term and I always feel almost rude and a fake (if you follow) as I know I'll be returning to work and (whispers) - actually enjoy it - I know this is opening up the whole stay at home/working mother debate and I don't mean it to do that - just interested to see how others are getting on for the short time we aren't in work - it's almost like what's the point doing things as before we know it we won't be able to - and on that topic, slight rant here but why are things like tumble tots, baby signing/massage/yoga etc all during the day - I'd love to do things like that with DD1 but no joy

Sorry for the rant - just tried to put border up in the nursery and the so called easy apply adhesive has a) stripped all the paint off the wall and b) is anything else but easy - very annoyed as will now not only have to venture to Edinburgh for another trip to Mothercare but also have to admit to DH that I couldn't do it!! - guess which is the worse

Am giving up and going to watch crap daytime tv reruns of Miss Marple

DS had his jabs this morning and has been asleep pretty much ever since-that's normal right???

Claireybee - yes, although Martha was actually pretty unsettled the afternoon after her jabs, she slept pretty much ALL of the day afterwards. I did start to get concerned but I think it's normal. She's got her next lot next week - if she is so sleepy again I think I will enjoy it this time instead if panicking!

Beanster - it's funny because one of my friends (from my NCT group) returned to work full-time after the birth of her first child. When she had her second, I think she found it hard to fill her days because she did not have a ready-made social life around her first child. On the other hand I have found it relatively easy this time as because I have been off since dd1 was born, I have built up a good group of other non-working mums, as well as belong to a few groups etc.

Don't worry about opening up the Working mums/SAHM debate with me - my preference would have been to return to work (part-time) but because my job was London or overseas-based it wasn't to be. I really do miss using my brain (other than the ongoing task of trying to out-wit a two-year-old). However I think I have said before, I think I am very lucky to have the opportunity to bring up my children myself as we don't NEED me to go to work.

I don't think either choice is an easy one - staying at home or returning to work.