December 2007: It's all worth it for the smiles.

[claraquitetirednow]

I've never started a new thread before - has this worked?

thanks for that loucee- i did wonder whether i should consider weaning early.

off to docs as lo's left eye has started weeping today. BCG ok- but worse than other jabs at the time

Amani sorry you are having a hard time...please don't ever be afraid to talk to us-we would never judge you or think you a bad mum. I know I've said lots of things here that I would never be able to say to people who weren't also new mums but I feel able to here cos we are all in the same boat more or less.

Lol Skid, I like to tell myself that the reason my children are such unsettled newborns is because they are too intelligent to lie quietly but I don't really think there is anything in it! Makes me feel better about all the screaming though!

Clara is funny cos he isn't even rolling yet and it was a complete accident that I discovered it (sat him down holding his hands then got distracted by dd and let go). Also sorry you are finding harder now, I am finding it 10 million times easier (at least!)now that ds doesn't scream constantly and I can put him down for 5 minutes.

I have to say I havent exactly found 2 to be twice the work, but the adjustment to having an independent toddler to a very demanding newborn has been hard, and it is certainly harder when you can't rest when the baby sleeps because you have another one to look after. Also it can sometimes be difficult to juggle things to get out of the door etc, especially as dd usually times her poo to coincide with ds' feeds! Hats off to Cazzy, Beckle, Pecka and anyone else with more than 2! Would still like more but with a bigger age gap, but dh refuses to even discuss it so it's not going to happen.

DS has finally stoppped waking himself up every 5 minutes coughing(only a couple of times a night now) but, guess what? He has hit another growth spurt! grrr! Ah well at least I hadn't got back into the habit of actually getting any sleep! Good news though is that it only took him 10 mins to settle himself to sleep last night and today he has had one nap in the buggy (starting to hate it a little less now) and just now got cross in my arms so I put him in bed and he's gone off again. I remember it was the same with dd (although she did it earlier) I was stressing about her not self settling then one day she just started to.

Have started on the fenugreek to try and catch up during this growth spurt, he fed all day and all night yesterday and my boobs were really aching this morning. I made dh get up and settle him twice last night for me and he also got up to dd, felt really guilty but I can't do it all when ds doesn't sleep all night.

Louise you know your routine has only gone to pot because you posted it on here?!

Happy wedding anniversary Cazzy!

You're right, claireybee - I jinxed the routine by posting it on here!! Fingers crossed that last night was just a blip

Suey lots of people wean around now because they think milk is no longer enough but it is actually a common time for a growth spurt and if you ride it out it should get easier again (says me who tried weaning dd at 20 weeks when she was in a growth spurt-not that she was having any of it!)

Caz10, no idea about how to get a LO to sleep through. I think the size they are at birth helps a lot though as they do not need to wake so often for food as a smaller baby, they don't get in the habit of it IYSWIM? All my DC have been big and all of them quite good at night.
DD's routine is roughly as follows:-
Wake her at 7 for a feed (one side) put her back down for snooze until time for school run.
Wash/bathe her then feed again around 10.30/11 (one side).
Feed around 2/2.30 (one side).
Feed around 6/6.30 (one side).
Goes to sleep downstairs at about 8.30, either wakes for feed around 9.30/10 or I wake her for it (sometimes does both sides but usually only one).
She does have naps during the day too but just when she feels like it, I never actively put her down for a nap. If I notice her rubbing her eyes then I will put her in her bouncy chair/carrycot for a snooze otherwise she just puts her thumb in and sleeps on her playmat! If she sleeps for too long and its getting near a feed time then I will wake her for that but otherwise I let her snooze as much as she needs to. My DSs were 6 months old before they settled into a routine with daytime naps and I used to put them up in their cot for 2 hours in the morning and the same in the afternoon.
I do still check her obsessively to make sure she is still breathing and if I can't hear her over DH's snoring when I get into bed I like to pick her up and hold her for a minute.

Loucee, those courses sound good, I think I really need to look into what's available. I have been considering accountancy as I am quite good with numbers and enjoy doing that kind of thing. I get my SMP direct from the govt into my bank account as I do not earn enough in my evening job for them to pay me. Not sure how it would work in your situation but I applied for it through my local Job Centre Plus (which doubles as the Benefits Office).

Ambi, I have not worn perfume since DD was born either! Don't want to smell wrong to her, will probably start once I stop BFing. Have not made any moves in that direction yet but know I want to stop around 6 months so should think about trying a bottle soon. Just can't bear to though, have not bothered expressing (too rubbish at it) so will be formula and then I will worry about supply dropping! I have not put any weight on but I also have not lost any more, I dropped most of the weight really quickly but then plateaued out. Am about 10-14lbs above pre-pregnancy weight and ideally would like to lose 7 of those! Am hoping that when I stop BFing I will drop that though, DH says I could do with keeping a bit of it on. Really for me my problem is not with my weight but with my shape, my stomach looks awful! I have to say that most of the evening jobs about are very un-inspiring to me but it is nice to get out for a bit and although the supermarket is not my dream job, I don't mind my evenings there at all. Doesn't tax the brain but does provide you with conversation and always makes me feel like I contribute a little to the house.

Cazzybabs, Happy Anniversary!

Clairey, wow at your DS almost sitting unaided! Strong little man! Like your DH, mine was adamant he wanted no more after DS2 but he changed his mind after a couple of years and now we have DD! There will be no more though, I don't like being pg enough to want more, plus I really want to enjoy DD. Do feel a little sad that she is my last baby though. I am on the mini-pill at the moment but the plan is for DH to get the snip at some point, think he is a bit nervous at the moment though and hasn't gone to the GP yet!

Suey, glad you had a good holiday! Think it does Dads good to see how much work full time parenting is, makes them appreciate what you do more!

Amani, sorry to hear you are still suffering with PND, you are not a terrible mother at all though, PND is an illness. I have no real advice for you but sending you {{{hugs}}} and please talk to us as much as you need to.

Awen, ouch for your repair work, hope it all goes well!

Wizz, Evie is also being a bit of a pain to feed at the moment, keeps pulling off to have a nose around her, if I had a bottle sterilised (still in the plastic wrapper it came in at the moment) then I would be sorely tempted to give her some of the emergency formula cartons I have! Wondering actually if it might be a good time to try her on it...

Hi everyone

Things still going ok here tho still have regular pangs to breastfeed - I really upset Dd even trying today so think Im going to stop even trying now.

The expressing is goig well but its a real struggle fitting in 8 pumping sessions if i get lazy and drop some i notice the drop in my supply so will have to keep it up.

DD is lovely - she has really emerged from the newborn weeks a happy and smiley, giggly girl.

She still gets v overtired and grumpy easily in the day if she doesnt nap but is doing great at night.

7pm-6am is about the norm now - TOUCH WOOD

Afternoon all, it's been a chatty afternoon here!

amani don't know if you're getting a chance to log on, but as I'm sure you can see everyone is thinking of you. My HV was concerned re PND for me too - I certainly had a bad time of it but I really do think it was all down the stress they gave me over dd's weight - and as Loucee says I had more good days than bad - but the bad ones can be v bad and certainly give you an inkling as to what you must be feeling. Oh and Diprobase - our HV said basically it is good for anything and everything!!

DEFINITELY hats off to mums of 2 or more, I don't know how you do it. DH is keen to have another one as soon as possible...I am less keen, not so much for the pregnancy aspect, but I just felt so truly knackered for the 1st few months there...still do most of the time! I could cope with being pregnant again, if it went the same way as DD, but the thought of having a 2wk old baby......although I suppose most of our stresses were feeding related and I would feel better prepared/informed next time.

Actually I think money might be the biggest issue - it is tight to say the least, but with 2 I would really like not to have to go back to FT work. Lottery tickets on Sat methinks!

jags good luck to all! Ours are next week at 17weeks as the 12 week ones were a week late.

sitting-up woo to clairey's sitting up baby that is fab!! DD likes being upright as she is a nosey parker, but we are def still supporting her. What are everyone else's LO's "doing" then? She has done one proper chuckle, can sometimes hold things depending on her mood/their shape, and is getting better at tummy time/head up. Does that sound about right for 16wks?

skidaddle let me know how the expressing goes with the new pump! We are also cluster feeding in the pm but she's still waking up. I do think a lot of it is down to her (lack of) weight.

I am starting to feel a bit "trapped" sometimes, in the nicest possible way, with DD not taking a bottle and her feeding so often there is very little time I can have apart from her, and much as I love her a break would be nice! Need to try the bottles again, but want to get some EBM first, just in case she accepts the formula from a bottle but not EBM.

cazzy happy anniversary! Hope your house doesn't fall down for the occasion! When are you going back to school? Can I ask how you coped with marking etc with DC1? I'm so worried about it.

beckle thanks for the routine!! and pecka WOW to that sleep!! fab!

Thanks everyone for your encouraging messages. You won't know but it does mean a lot to me.

Trying to make sure I am in contact with various people and had someone from my local'Parent and Toddler' group come around today for coffee. Was a big achievement for me, as I kept thinking of excuses for her not to come around as I just didn't feel I could manage it, but DH encouraged me to stick with it. Anyhow it was good to see her and it felt like I had some sort of contact with the outside world.

Don't have much time online today - but I have a quick question. DD2 loves being propped up against a few cushions and having a look around the room. Is this ok to do? An elderly aunt came over the weekend and I got a telling off for doing it as she said it is bad for her back(??). Is there any truth to this? Made me feel like an inadequate mother....

Ok am going to admit this - but really wish DD2 was older. Everyone keeps saying enjoy the baby years as it will fly - but I just can't help looking forward to when she is older, as I envisage it to be easier (i.e. being able to communicate, reason with her etc.....). Spoke to my GP about it and she reckons the reason why I feel like this is to do with my personality i.e. am an analyst and see things logically and I aim too much to be a perfectionist and finding it harder this time adjusting to a more erratic life..

Feel awful for feeling this sometimes...

Oh crossed posts Amani. Well done for that coffee, it will make a difference just wee things like that. And someone above suggested internet groceries, very sensible! Take care.

Re the cushions, I do that too, DD loves looking around! I'm sure it's ok, and in fact I read a thing that it is important not to have them flat on their backs all of the time so they don't get a flattened head?

oh and just read your other post - I'm quite sure you're not alone in that either. I've read posts on here where people admit they really didn't enjoy/like having a child of whatever age. i know everyone says enjoy it etc, but i'll admit to quite often feeling a bit bored and bewildered with dd at this age - some people seem to be happy to sit and dangle toys etc but i'm not v good at it, and think i will be more of a natural parent when dd is a bit older. whereas other people just can't relate to toddlers, and so on.

First off Amani you are NOT a bad mum - propping her on cushions is fine mine spends a lot of time like that as she likes to see whats going on/not so keen on being flat anymore and head still bit wobbly for more than few mins in bumbo and arches forward in bouncy chair ...
And second off I totally get the wanting then to be older - I found it easier and easier with DD1 as she got older and loved it when I could take her to movies and meals and just chat (she is 6 by the way and has inherited my love of cinema purely because I started young and went with her often)...I found the first year so very hard and did have PND needing medication and some time off work it was a very grim time for me and I def enjoyed DD1 a lot more later on - I do sometimes regret that time but it has not affected our bond and we have a lovely relationship
I find I enjoy DD2 much more as a baby and I think this is because I knew what to expect and like you I am very analytical controlling OCD tyoe person so found a new baby a complete shock to the system first time round...anyway point of long ramble you are not alone we get it

amani- bollocks to your aunt. what total crap! It's not like you leave her there all day every day! I had millie like that from about 3 weeks as at that time it was the only position i could get her to sleep in during the day. Like all these things, car seats a good eg, as long as it isn't for hours at a time.

I often prop ds up on my lap, with a hand behind, or sit him up between my legs, none of the care assistants at the groups I go to have said I shouldn't. So don't listen to your aunt, Amani!

Amani - bollox to your aunt!! I prop DD up sometimes, she has reflux so I much prefer her to be like that than lying flat and uncomfortable!

Caz10 - that ameda lactaline is yours - i stopped botherng with it when i hired the symphony. As i thought rather than buy the collection kit to use it may as well go the whole hog and hire a hospital grade. You dont need to worry about hospital grade as your mainly breastfeeding.

Can i have your email and we can sort out getting it sent to you etc xxx

Pecka you are wonderful! Is this the collection kit?

kit

I've sent you a CAT message which should give you my email.

I'm very excited about getting it, is that sad?!

Oh random thought re perfume etc - today I totally forgot and put body lotion everywhere like I used to - inc norks - poor DD couldn't get latched on cos it was all slippery and prob got a good mouthful of cocoa butter lotion before I realised

evening all,

caz - i too know the 'trapped' feeling, i love being a mum in every way, but there is a tiny part of me that would love to go out with the girls and get bladdered...just one night! DS wont take a bottle either, so there's know chance of that. DH and i have managed 2 nights nights out between 8 and 11 which was sooo nice but would like to know that i coul do that whenever. Not that i want to do it all the time, but my birthday is coming up and we have been invted to a few nights out and at the minute we just have to see how ds is at the time and i would like to be able to say 'yes' and look forward to the night, knowing ds would be fed if he woke!

ds is rolling onto his side, but the arm is stopping him from going further - despite going red in the face and trying as hard as he can! he is chuckling every day now and making lots of noise!he has also got a real interest in toys now, occasionally grabbing them and shoving them in his mouth. His head control is fab and he really pulls himself up from any position now.

Amani - ds loves being propped up with cusions, we get most of his smiles in this position.

Suey sorry my grammar in my post wasn't great - I was saying not to be alarmed by Millie needing some night feeds again and NOT to mistake it for the need for early weaning. Of course it's entirely up to you when you wean but I do remember with DD that there's generally a growth spurt around now that then gets repeated around 18-20wks but both soon pass (of course, again it's different for all babies but was just sharing my experience). Are you back at work yet? If so, how's it going? How's your Dad getting on if you don't mind me asking?

Beckle yes there's a long list of courses available for evening classes and after speaking to the college today it turns out that some full time courses would accept you on a part time basis (e.g just turn up for the odd session) and they have a creche onsite for babies from 6wks! I'm going to go to the open evening to speak to some course tutors and find out what course would suit me best. You should do it, it's the perfect time to retrain.

Clara This is the first week that DD will be going to the childminder once instead of twice and I'm quite nervous at how I will be by Friday night! DD is 2.1yrs old and very independent and strong minded. She HAS to do practically everything herself. She is a lovely wee thing and makes me laugh a hundred times a day but it is a juggling act with her and DS as I'm sure you know very well!
I would like a 3rd child but will wait until DS is 2.

For the Lost fans here, didn't you think the last episode was quite crap?! I think they're stringing it out too much

Loucee - snap....I have held out for 6 months with both of the dds. But they did wake up a few times around this time...

caz, my email is [email protected] - not sure that my mn address is my old one

and yes thats the collection kit you need x

Caz10 - terrible teacher confession - I hate marking...I tend to do when the children are around or get them to mark their own work. Thinking back to dd1 - ummm I think I did it at every oppurtnity so I brought very little home with me. When do you go back?

I remember with dd1 (she was 3 months when I went back) looking down at my top and I had leaked breastmilk everywhere by thinking of her.

I keep reading to TES website - I am looking forward to going back although I hate my boss.

Going to go back end of June - he he he (for about 3 days and then get paid for the summer - HORRAHHHH)

Amani ? Thinking of you, hope you manage to get through it. I?m really rubbish at thinking of the right things to say at difficult times, but having had depression before, I hope that black cloud lifts soon.
Caz10 ? same as clara here, when she?s been up for 1.5-2hrs she?s usually ready for a nap, settle her down with her dummy and a little blanket over her and she?s off within 15mins. Occasionally she has a little shout beforehand but I put that down to tiredness and she usually goes off.
Cazzybabs ? I hate those days (though not as bad as yours!) I guess those days make normal days seem great?.well, at least uneventful.

When is this weight supposed to drop after BFing stops? Am now on a diet to help shift some more pounds, which is going good so far but am completely unmotivated to exercise. Good on you ladies for saving your Mat clothes for next one, I ebayed mine a few weeks after the birth because A) I didn?t want to still be in them or rely on them to stay blubbery and B) by the next pg I will be 2 sizes smaller (oh god hopefully).

DD doesn?t have eczema but has a bit of cradle cap, I hope it goes soon, the olive oil isn?t really helping at the moment. She also has a little cold, she?s so sniffly, I feel bad that I can?t take it away from her, she?s too little to be poorly. She can?t sit up unaided yet like Douggie but is very cute when she grabs her toys (not so cute when she grabs my neck or necklace). I also got a real belly laugh out of her last week ? it was the most gorgeous thing I?ve ever heard, bouncing her on my knee singing ?the grand old duke of york? and pretending to drop her between my knees, she thought I was a comedic genius, threw her arms back and laughed away. She also has her 3rd jabs next week, omg 16 weeks already
Amani, DD gets propped up on my pillow in the middle of the bed whilst I?m getting ready in the morning, I prefer her to be upright as much as possible, as she?s been a bit sicky lately.