March 2007-Today our babies will mostly be eating.............

[KITTYmaspudding]

ok, new thread, old one full!!

kitty that is so Did you feel like that with any of the others?

foxy congrats on getting shot of your lodger

rosy sorry Hasan is poorly. We are into week 7 of the RSV

eids great news about the grommets and LOL at the fruit bat

piffle on the sleeping front, the last 3 nights DD has slept from 11pm until about 3.30am, which has been amazing. She then feeds again between 5-6 am then sleeps until 9-10am. Usually she wakes every 2 hours throughout the night [exhausted and crossed eyes emoticon]

Thanks all, just to add to my woes I have just found out that ds1 has been hiding a bloody huge carving knife under his pillow because he wants to hurt himself .

fuck

kitty

will he talk to you about it?

Kitty he sounds very young to want to hurt himself! Can you get him to talk to you, maybe in a light chatty way so he doesn't think he's in trouble or anything.

Is it attention seeking?

My DS1 had a box of matches hidden in his toom which he found on the street. No doubt waiting for a day when he was bored so he could play with them

Ooops hidden in his Room, not Toom (unfortunate Freudian slip there)

We have talked a bit. I'm sure I'm to blame, I'm hard on him, but he's such a scatterbrain, it drives me insane.
He's been down on himself before, you know nothing was ever good enough. Recently I thought he seemed a lot more positive, he was doing well at school etc.

I guess he's going to need professional assessment.

Kitty lovely, sounds like you are having a hell of a day. you poor love. Hope your DS1 is ok, and you can collectively see a way to deal with how he feels, and that DS3 gives you a break with the crying. DS demands loads of attention to keep him happy, and does his fair share of crying even with it, so I can't imagine what it would be like if I had five others to worry about as well as him. I would cut yourself some slack about how you feel towards him at the moment. It is perfectly normal sometimes to not like your child, and I'm sure once he is a bit easier to handle it will pass. I'm sure you love him even if you may not like him all the time, and you certainly take care of him well, so at the moment that is what really matters, isn't it? Big hugs.

DP is dying of a bad throat - no, really it is quite bad I think, so must go and give sympathy.

Kitty I really do sympathise with you! When they are ill it is hellish!!!!

sounds like you could do with some time for just you and ronnie - ( i know - virtually impossible) but at least you can enjoy him then, instead of him just being an inconvenience. I know I feel guilty sometimes if Molly cries when I am busy with one of the others - whatever you do someone misses out!
Don't really know what to say about ds1, but think you do probably need to try and get some help for him. Any idea what is making him feel so down?

Hi to everyone else!

Kitty suport from me also
I have dark days and dark moments, sometiems I think I feel nothing, but then later I know different. Some days I live, other days I exist.
It does get better, try to recall the better moments, when all of u were ill, if you recall- oh dark thoughts from me
chin up chuck, tis nearly xmas.
hugs xx

thanks for the advice ladies- my dh doesn;t want to keep the gift as it will annoy him when he sees it. am sleeping on it and assume answer will come!

ds wakes at least once a night for bf about 3 ish, not long and goes back at once. he is in his own room and i whisk him downstairs to feed so not to wake dh. he is up about 7 for the day,.

bethoo, good for you! i wouldn;t ask your dp to babysit mind... could you have nice dinner parties and barbecues when weather better as well? people could bring dates for you! yes have been watching arrange me a marriage its cheaper and more fun than pubs 9am older than you though) when i was single i just did lots of spag bol and told people to bring pud.

kitty, hope things get better for you

Thankyou all for your kind words of support

Dp had a long chat with him yesterday evening and that helped him. I think it relates to anger management issues. He described to me that all the things that made him angry were kept inside a bubble in him and then when he couldn't stand the pressure any more he had to try and release it. He said he thought cutting himself with the knife would do that .

I made a chart with him yesterday on which we plotted various moods from really happy to really angry and every evening we will spend a little time discussing where he is on the chart and give him a chance to talk about his feelings and thoughts. Hopefully this will go some way to helping him deal with issues rather than bottling them up.
Ds2 and dd1 were also keen to have charts of their own, so maybe this is the way to go.
I know a lot of this is my 'fault' I have been SO exhausted that I have been very demanding and short with him and he is SUCH a sensitive soul.

I feel like I have badly let him and my other children down [sad[. Still feeling bad isn't going to change things so I am going to be positive and look for ways of getting us out of this rut and pray to God that the damage isn't too bad.

Kitty can you arrange some special time with your DS1. Could you take him out to a movie or a meal on his own, so he knows he has some special time with you? Excuse the crao psychology but is he trying to get your attention by telling you he is so sad he wants to hurt himself. I came a from a big family and often did self destructive stuff to try and make my Mum notice me.

Kitty I have a lovely art therapist friend who would know how to help your ds express himself and let out his anger without hurting himself. Would there be any art therapists near to you? It works really well with children.
I think teaching children anger management is a normal part of our parenting task tbh with whatever tools we can use.
Hang in there Kitty, you are caring and conscientious and parenting is the biggest challenge there is, I think.

I had one of those nights...you know where you get puked on and have to change the bedding and pyjamas at 3.30am. Hasan was burning up all night he through up the calpol earlier so I just kept sponging him down.

Then this morning before I had woken I had a really vivid dream which I thought was real that dh was dead and I went through awful heartache before finally waking up and becoming conscious that it was only a dream. I still feel upset after that

oh dear kitty, i feel for you with your ds1. some people find it hard to express how they feel and have other s ways of dealing with things which may suit them but not others. i do think the art therapy sounds good though. he needs to vent his anger in another way. i think a punch bag and boxing gloves is a good way or maybe that is too violent but look at it this way, he gets fit without hurtig himself! of course you need space in the house/garage! how old is he and do you think he has been inflicting damage to himslef already? it is very addictive so you need to make sure that he has not started. but do not treat him like a mental patient as it makes matters worse. hope this helps without sounding patronising or condescending as it is not meant to.

Oh Rosy how horrible!!

Rosy - i have had dreams like that, usually involving my dad dying and i have woke up crying!

It's ridiculous isn't it. As if there are not enough real things to worry about and be upset about in life without practising distress in our sleep. ceugh! (not sure how to spell that particular expression)

My task this morning is to get all the sickies dressed and into the banger to deliver some nice pressies to the teacher and assistant at the school. If I can manage that I'll be doing well.
Functioning at the most basic level today.

Poor you Rosy, sometimes I have dreams like that they are very disturbing. I had no one wake me up last night but dd3 has just been sick , mostly mucous. I have a raging sore throat and ear ache.
Still last day of school horray!!!

kitty - snap with the ear ache

we all need to trot off to the Bahamas don't we

i had ds1 throwing up in the night at 3.30 too!

That woke Samuel up who decided it was time to get up

luckily my parent are visiting for the day and they are totally "hands on"... yey

(sorry - don't mean to sound smug )

I have a very trivial issue to moan about, which is my fault for lack of proper planning, so nothing new there. Christmas presents, HELP! I went to town again today, and came home with a grand total of one. I was on the verge of getting both sisters something twice but DS kicked off big time each time so had to abandon shop and get him in the fresh air. I still haven't got a clue what to get DP either. It's getting ridiculous now. When I came home, because we are discussing home improvements he suggested we both get each other one, like he gets "new door" and I get "something equally crap", but I don't really fancy that idea, even though I suppose it would save us both money.

hi callie..nip to a garden centre -they have wide aisles, not many people and lots of bits for sale (not just plants) and coffee shops thats where i am going 2moro for last min presents.

kitty, what a great idea re a chart- does he have any ideas what will make things better and be able to talk-aprt from fact he is a teenager and its very hard to express yourself- i know i felt so all those years ago.

rosy, hope they all feel better soon.

Hello can I have a hug too?

Rosy that is so horrible - I hate it when you get a traumatic dream which sticks around the whole day.

Am feeling a bit sensitive today - so glad to get rid of our wanky lodger (don't ask - I only realised when I took the sheets off the bed - they are now in bin) (ps I wouldn't mind if he paid the rent on time, he could wank all he liked then LOL!!)

Someone on my local thread has given me a right bollocking - completely uncalled for (she who has all the social skills of a bull in a china shop)

To top it all, a local child got run over by a bus today near where I live and an air ambulance was called. No idea what has happened to child

Will do internet search on child...

Callie Dh and I always buy boring practical things like jim jams, dressing gowns or sets of undies (don't laugh)

{{{{{hugs}}}} to you foxy
Was that the veneer woman? Shall we go and give her a slap telling off?
Yuk, wanky lodger, didn't he sleep with no bottom sheet too?

Thanks Kitty . No it was Eluesis. I did nothing to deserve it whatsoever. I told her off and she has backed off but I feel kind of attacked.

Wanky lodger stained bottom sheet and also made teeny stain on my new mattress. He has left some of his stuf here and I've no idea whether to keep it or dump it. Decided to dump it lasy night then his mum rang and said he really wants the stuff and is a mess atm and he will call me (his ex rang him and said she is having abortion today - he didn't knoe she was PG and is in shock. What about her though?). Will keep it until Monday when bin men come, then it'll go out with rubbish.

If he comes to claim it I will make him scrub mattress's gross stain with baby wipes.