June '07- So DH, what have you done all day today? I have been busy raising your children...

[loonylovegood]

Ria's suggestion!!

I've just started a "tell me why I am still bfing" thread!

Just spent nearly an hour trying to catch up on a day's posts!

Daisy - was I really mentioned in the round-up? How exciting (it doesn't take much these days!) - I don't think I get the round-up email. Would someone be able to fwd it to me, via facebook maybe??

Sorry you are feeling crap - maybe you need to speak to your GP about changing your ADs? I took them for quite a few years and it took a few goes to find the right ones that suited me best

Didn't quite understand the posts about changing Lo's names (and I may have got thr wrong ebd of the stick, in which case pls ignore me!) - but I'm pretty sure, from memory, that to change LO's surname - eg for a passport - all you need to do is get a Change of Name Deed done, by a solicitor. I think it needs to be signed by both parents, if they are both named on birth certificate. It is a very easy document for a solicitor to prepare and shouldn't cost too much.

If you bf your baby how many feeds a day does your baby have? Just reading another thread and tiktok says 6-7 feeds a day is not a huge amount for a 13 week old baby, most are having more. DD has 6 and today she will have only had 5 as she didn't wake up till 8.30 or so. She would tell me if she was starving wouldn't she? I haven't had her weighed in a while...

bumper i have just read your thread. there is some good stuff on there but i am too scared to post in case i say the wrong thing.
well done for sticking it out this long, as i have said before i had given up by now with ds1. i don't want you to think i am unsympathetic but if you are not enjoying it is it worth how it makes you feel? you have given dd the best start so you would have no need to feel guilty about giving up/mixed feeding if it does get too much. don't let it spoil your time with dd as enjoying that is far more important than anything. DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP.

WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE JUDGING ON HOW YOU FEEL. (sorry , caps were an accident )you know we are all here to be supportive and not judge whatever you decide.there are plenty of pros and cons for both. if you decide to FF DH could take charge of the bottles, you are already sterilising for ebm, so it's not much more effort.

My PERSONAL feeling would be to mix feeding (i will be doing soon) BUT I AM NOT SAYING THAT'S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO(caps on purpose). One actual piece of advice though - don't completely stop all at once, it's f-ing painful and messy and should be done gradually.

also, your dm won't have won...

please don't hate me I have been there and I didn't haveyour staying power

Bumperlicious,

i'm a lurker on this thread as i can't keep up with the chat most of the time.

My DS is 12.3 weeks, and has 6 feeds a day which i would consider fine. Usually around 7/7.30am, 11am, 2.30pm, 5.30pm, 6.30pm and 11pm. He has gained half a pound a week, so getting plenty. All breastmilk, although the 2 evening feeds are EBM 7oz bottles.

Wow - you express 14oz a day? PP mind if I ask when you do that? I can never seem to find time to express, and by afternoon, not much is coming out...

my sister works with one of the consultant paedriatrics (sp? right word even?) and he told her (when i was having weight gain issues with ds3) that so long as babies are growing out of their clothes you have no worries.

children are a HUGE worry. sorry.

baggins feeds all the bloody time. if he goes straight down after a feed just from one side without waking for more i feel guilty for not trying to give him more. i have never recorded his feeds - sometimes he has a three hour gap between, mostly not, and he maybe goes five hours overnight. apart from his first feed in the morning i don;t feel he's getting anything, by bedtime i feel completely empty. i seem to spend a lot of time on the sofa though.

i'm sorry i aren't more help...

bumper - my two pennies worth ( ) is - you have to do what is right for you and DH, as well as DD.

I gave up bf with DD, at about 12 weeks and had awful guilt about it but it really was the best thing for us all, at the time, as I was really miserable doing it which was no good for anyone. I really 'beat myself up' when trying to make the decision and had lots of conflicting advice from GPs, HVs, friends, family, etc. I decied that a happy mummy and formula was better for DD than a miserable one and BF.

I'm not telling you to stop, that is your decision - I'm just saying remember that it is YOUR decision, it's no-one elses business and no-one has the right to make you feel guilty if that is what you decide to do. FF really isn't the end of the world.

Sending you big hugs

Just found a link to this weeks chat round-up - isn't it sad how pleased I am to have been mentioned - I really must try and get a life!

pulapula, thanks for posting that, that's about the same as DD. Just a bit worried as been having problems recently and she is a tidler. (Hope you get to post more often btw)

Ria, don't worry so much about saying the wrong thing ! I see what you are saying, I just don't know what to do. Normally I wouldn't stick at something I didn't enjoy, and I don't feel pressure from anyone else, I just can't explain what makes me so determined to continue...I guess I know that either it's going to get better, or at least I'm going to stop eventually!

BZ, I get the most out in the morning, either just before DD wakes up or after she has fed, but she sleeps 7-8 hours so by them my boobs are huge!

Faylisa did you feel better once you had stopped?

Bumper - To be honest, yes. I never enjoyed bf and it was a huge relief to me to stop. I cut down gradually - substituting in one more bottle of formula every couple of days until I stopped completely.

Sorry, this may make me unpopular but I will say it anyway - I do appreciate that bf is probably the best start that you can give your baby and I fully respect women who bf for a long time but.... I also think that the 'breastfeeding police' have a lot to answer for - in making Mums that choose not to bf, or who stop after a few months, feel incredibly guilty. We are going through a massive life change, we have hormones surging through us, we are massively sleep deprived and often feeling very lonely. We don't need to be made to feel guilty for trying to do what we think's best for us, our lo and our family. I have seen so many of my friends in tears about this and it really winds me up. Free choice means freedom to choose not to bf as much as it means freedom to choose to bf. There, I've said it! (faylisa skulks off to change her talk name...)

with ds1 i felt much better when i stopped, apart from the first FF when he took the bottle like he'd never been fed before.

can i just tell you someting that had us posl?

so, lastnight i worked myself into a frenzy about ds and his violence. i had a horrible night and still have the tension in my back. i was discussing said situation with my mum, who then questioned ds about the incidents (nobody expects the sopaish inquisition). it turns out that the "punching" of the first boy was more a duracell bunny type hammering on his departing back. And (this is the really funny part) my mum asked ds to demonstrate on her how he headbutted second child. he said he couldn't because he didn't have his cap on. So the (fairly accurate) picture of the incident i now have is more of a "pecking" with the peak of his cap rather than the old glasgow kiss.

all that stress...

and the bollocking i gave him this morning (which ad ds2 and dh quaking in their pants) was completely unfounded!

I was adamant with DD1 that she was only going to get breastmilk...and the first six weeks were HARD - mastitis, bleeding nipples the lot. Then she wouldn't take a bottle ever, until she stopped feeding at 20 months. With DD2 I've been a lot more flexible - she's had formula several times now as well as EBM if I've been out. And the BF has been so much easier. At the end of the day, I think it works best if you're happy - and if you need a break to chill out, then don't beat yourself up about it. Your LO is still getting all the benefits of BF'ing, even if you mix it up a little. And DD1 was a bit of a tiddler compared to DD2 - but now she's a strapping tall lass so they all even out in the end. You're doing great!

I totally agree with you faylisa, but I just can't seem to stop. Mostly because, despite all the stress of bfing, making up bottles and remembering them just seems like such a faff. I can't even remember to take a cardie out for DD!

I don't feel under pressure from anyone, and logically I know what you are saying is true, I just can't bring myself to do it. Weird I know. And I should just accept my choice and stop whinging about it. Sorry, that's all I seem to be doing these days...I'll be better. I'm away for a few days on Sunday anyway, so I'll give you all a break!

faylisa, how could you?

you terrible, honest

TRUTH SPEAKER!

I completely agree.

personal choice means just that and there are quite a few people who need to wake up to that. (shall I hide too?)

Thanks BZ, I just need a pep up I think!

LOL@ your DS ria!

bumper, I just had a quick read of your other thread, but didn't post as at the moment I'm struggling to see why I'm continuing as well, but I second Faylisa.....you have to do what you think is right and remember that you have done brilliantly up till this point. You are far more organised about expressing than the rest of us, and have what seems like a great routine going. But, saying that I totally agree with the sentiment of happy mummy = happy baby. There's no point you being miserable and sore and resentful of your beautiful DD just to say that she is exclusively BF. That way madness lies (and I know cos that was me at 5.5 weeks with my DS)

We're all here to support you whatever you decide and [hugs] to you.

I started this ages ago so probably seems disjointed in the course of the conversation...but i didn't want to retype it.

Hi pulapula.....jump on in, the conversations lovely. Nice to "see" you again

(Faylisa ducks out from under her bomb shelter)

Bumper - don't worry about talking about it, that's what we're here for!

you don't need to give us a break bumper, it's what we are here for. The best thing about this virtual friend thing is we don't have to pretend to be sincere like in rl sometimes, if we don't want to play we can switch off or lurk and not post. It is so much easier than RL...

I know what you mean about making that final decision, i can't do it this time either.

don't dwell too much on the hassle of ff though, because even with mixed feeding you would still be taking some of the pressure off yourself, so you wouldn't have the stresses you are having now and the stress of ff - it would be more half and half. and dh would be able to help

And FWIW I don't have a steriliser and have never mixed up the powder - I just use the odd carton, and sterilise the bottle in our steamer - so it's not that much hassle. (Having said that I've never tried to give DD2 a bottle myself - DH always does it)

Thanks daisy, what's keeping you going? You are having it worse than me!

I think Daisy is a much stronger person than she gives herself credit for!

i know bumper. i practically had his name down for borstal. i told he had comitted ABH and it was a crime.

I am very embarrassed (but damned relieved).

children are little shits - prepare yourself now