January 2020 babies new decade new babies

[muddypuddlejumping]

Would anyone like to join as I can't find a thread for the January babies. DS is a few days old born early via emcs but we're doing well. This is our second.

Currently surviving the night feeds by keeping the Jaffa cake production in business and the odd daytime nap.

@MGC40 I agree I find it helpful to read this thread especially with being unable to go to mum and baby groups etc. I have no family near me my parents only met baby once so feel kind of alone. I also agree about celebrities my HV said to try not to believe some of it but it makes me feel a bit crap that all their babies seem to be sleeping on cribs, through the night and they can cook and clean etc.
Also a bit upset sometimes that my mat leave is being spent this way - id planned to do baby groups and swimming etc but by the time this ends I’ll have to be thinking about what to do in terms of going back to work!

@HMSsleepy welcome! Try not to stress I spent the first 4 weeks stressing about cleaning - I used to do the cleaning and cooking while on mat leave before baby as partner worked and I went from doing that to sitting on the sofa all day and I felt useless. When he went back to work I struggled tbh I would not eat because I didn’t want to put baby down and have her cry! He’s working from home now but god knows how I’ll cope again. Also try not to stress about routine - I purchased the gentle sleep book by Sarah Ockwell Smith and although I’m not keen on the idea of “gentle” parenting it explains the first 3 months and what we’re going through is normal. Apparently routine won’t work until at least 6 months so I’m just following baby’s lead at the moment

I don't think a routine can be established till they are at least 6 months. DS will sleep from 10pm till about 7am when he wants changing and he has a few dream feeds during the night but other than that we have no routine whatsoever but been in isolation we don't need one anyway some days. We just lounge in bed together he has his toys and i just watch tv just do whatever suits you and dont stress about meeting a criteria or certain milestone

Please can I join, although my son was born 5th Feb but I can't find a feb thread.

Just been reading through the most recent posts...thank his I found you! I was in a pregnancy group on here but just been in my own world since giving birth so not looked on here until tonight. Really wish I'd seen this group weeks ago because it would have been so reassuring to know it's all happening to you guys too and I'm not just a crap mum!

Looks like my son's recent clingyness, constantly wanting feeding and not letting me put him down isn't going to stop anytime soon from reading your posts. It's so exhausting. Getting frustrated and more distant from my husband because of it because he things it's just me doing it wrong and if he was in charge (still working full time so not here to see what happens during the day) he would just be stronger and let him cry out and swaddle him really tight until he gives in. He tries all this for the few hours he has him when he gets home from work but when it doesn't change anything I know he secretly blames me for not consistently doing it the rest of the time.

I'm feeling bad about not being able to do housework and cooking etc. Because I'm basically feeding or holding him while he sleeps 24/7 but I'd happily just let all that pike up as the baby is my priority. I think my husband thinks I'm just being lazy though. He doesn't actually say it though, just being a dick about everything.

Really could do without this lockdown. Been pretty much isolated since mid January now and need to broaden my world view before I lose the plot 🤦🏼‍♀️

Sorry for offloading my woes on to you all 😬 xx

@Ginny1234 Oh, I'm so sorry you are having it rough right now, massive virtual hugs for you!
It does eventually get better - hang in there! Right now baby is going through massive brain changes (look up Wonder Weeks - it saved my sanity with my first) and needs mumma. You haven't done anything wrong - in fact - the opposite, you are baby's world and she feels safe with you.
I know there are times you feel super lazy (as do I all the time) but remember, you carried and gave birth to a baby, this takes time to heal from and with the demands of a baby it can be exhausting. Give yourself a break and ignore the husband if he is being a dick.
I just want to reiterate that you are not alone, at all, in any of this and of course everyone is welcome to have a moan, we are in unprecedented times and adding babies to the mix makes things that much harder!

@Leasy thanks very much. I know on a normal day when I've had a good nights sleep, three square meals, had a shower, plucked my chin and eyebrows AND straightened my hair that it would all be in perspective and I'd know I'm doing my best and my best is pretty damned good. However, I'm more miss trunchbull at the minute and feelings bit shit.

Glad to hear it will get better 🍷

Does anyone else find their baby starts crying when you're getting them into position to feed? It doesn't matter how quickly I pick up on her hunger cues (tbh that's the only cue I do know!), she screams and then just latches on and eats away.

Hi everyone I started this thread then clearly fell off the face of the earth 😂🙈
DS is 12 weeks now. Sleeping is still a challenge here too. Usually about hour and a half blocks overnight which is hard going. Cannot wait for that moment when he sleeps longer!! Also home schooling my eldest so the days are very busy and it's not what I'd thought my maternity leave would be 😔
I'm glad I've found this thread again. I've not got any RL friends on maternity to understand what it's like with all this going on.

@HMSsleepy yes, my son is the same. He starts going crazy again when I take him off to burp or put him upright for a minute to stop him from puking. He would honestly contiyto guzzle milk whilst puking at the same time if I let him 🙄

I think it's just a thing they do and we're not doing anything wrong. They're pretty much always sleepy and grumpy from either waking or needing to go back to sleep again so I think they don't even know what they want sometimes and so their cues can be a bit muddled.

How is everyone?? Has anyone had any success yet at putting baby down? I really want to try and get my girl down for naps, free up my hands and get me off the sofa! I managed 20 mins yesterday, but generally she wakes up instantly when I put her down.
Also, does everyone's bub enjoy baths? Mine has screamed since day one. The other day I saw a thread with lots of peoples babies happy in the bath and it just upset me. Between that, not being able to put her down and her not happy being settled or carried by my partner I have just been a bit down, feeling like I'm getting it all wrong!
P.S....I have actually made an indentation in the sofa from sitting for 12 weeks 😂

Hi everyone

Late to the party (and definitely not fashionably)... Please may I join this wonderful group? DD was born 18th January, so is 13 weeks old.

We've not really got a routine yet, certainly not in relation to specific timings, but we tend to stick to sleep/play/feed/sleep. Would like to try feed/play/sleep so she doesn't always rely on feeding to help her sleep, but she can be quite sicky after eating which would make play difficult straight after! Anyone else had any success with this?

@MGC40 Baths she mostly tolerates, wouldn't say she quite enjoys yet. She screamed for her very first bath we had to get her out pretty quickly. She's much better when in the bath with me and DH helps to wash her rather than in a baby bath. Anyone else bath with their baby and experienced a bath poo yet? That was an experience!

I'm only just starting to have success putting her down for naps. She'll mostly fall asleep feeding (occasionally she'll just fall asleep in my arms without feeding) and I'll transfer her to her cot about 10-15 mins later. I used to wait until 30 mins, but she would wake up instantly and immediately be wide awake, kicking and wriggling away and smiling at me. So I ended up just letting her nap on me to ensure she would actually get some decent sleep. I'm getting restless now though and really feel like I need some freedom from the sofa, so I've been persevering with the cot for naps and it's usually successful around 80% of the time. Ten to 15 mins seems to be long enough for her to get into a deep sleep, then I very slowly and gently lower her into the cot and keep holding her for a few moments when she's down to let her settle. This usually works quite well although I find that her naps in the cot are generally shorter than her naps on me - up to an hour in the cot but could easily be two hours on me!

Anyway, apologies for the long post! Starting to feel quite lonely during the days and don't have an antenatal or baby group of mum friends to leo in touch with so hoping this might help fill that gap.

Hope everyone is doing OK x

@Mahonia Hello!!! Welcome! It's always lovely to speak to more people, and this thread has saved me in my dark hours so the more the merrier in my opinion.
I tried once to get in the bath with my girl but she still wasn't happy. Tonight we washed her hair and she didn't cry so I am hoping slowly slowly she may be getting used to it.

Interesting what you say about putting bubs down, maybe I will try and put her down after a shorter amount of time. I am thinking of buying a sleep program to try and help guide me in how to teach her to self settle and sleep.
On me she can sleep for hours, but if (and it's only if) she naps in her basket it is for 10-20 mins!

I was thinking the other day...where is everyone based??? I am in Waltham Abbey, Essex...though originally a North London girl xx

Thanks @MGC40!

Let me know how you get on with putting your LO down sooner if you do try it, be interesting to know if it works for you too. I'm based in Kent, so not toooo far from you..

How's everyone doing ? I can't believe how fast time is flying by with DS its like he's his own little person now with such a personality and he's so awake and alert during the day 😣 has anyone else's baby started playing with toys yet ? I got him a few sensory toys and some rattles and he goes crazy for them! We've started going for walks every few days too so i don't go stir crazy all alone but im really missing my baby group each week and seeing my midwife it feels like those were the only two RL support i had and now im all alone in lockdown just me and DS day in day out 😪

@MGC40 I’m in Enfield so not too far from you.
@Mahonia welcome! You LO was born on my OH birthday - we were hoping DD would arrive on the 18th but she came a week later.

Thanks for the tip about holding then putting down I may try that - every time I try and put her down to nap or sleep she wakes up and kicks the sides of the bedside crib so I’ve given up lol it’s a 4in1 so least we can use as a high chair . She’s still cosleeping and we have contact naps in bed.

@LucaFritz I’ve got a very alert baby in the day - she’s a sleep fighter! She only had 2.5 hours in the day yesterday 😩 but slept 6 hours at night for the first time 👍🏻
She’s not yet playing with toys - I feel like I should be playing with her more tbh. We don’t have a playmat, live in a one bed flat with limited space and losing space with her bouncer etc.
We have laminate flooring so just been doing tummy time on the bed but feel like I should be putting a blanket on the floor and getting toys out and playing with her a bit - not sure what’s right or wrong tbh
I had planned to take her to baby groups and baby sensory after her jabs but never got to as lockdown happened so she’s never done any of that and I’ve not met any other mums or babies.
I wanted to get a playmat and sensory box but OH said we’re running out of space and nowhere to put it

Hi everyone,
Time is flying indeed! Baby is almost 14 weeks now.
I am managing to put her down about 50% of the time for naps. We are trying to teach her self soothe... So there is a bit of crying but she is managing more and more often. No, we are not letting her cry very long but we are not picking her up instantly when she makes a sound.
This all stems from the night sleep that went to shit recently. She went from sleeping a 5 hour stretch at the beginning if the night to waking every 1-2 hours. I am wondering whether she is going through some sort of developmental change i. e. Sleep regression?

@LucaFritz my daughter started grabbing things but inly when I encourage her. She doesn't play with toys yet by herself. I guess they all develop in their own time.
She tries to sit though and I think it won't be long until she does 🙂

I just found this thread I hope noone minds me commenting? (Jan baby too) just reading for tips and saw about the storage space for a play mat

@ReyGal you can get play mats on amazon that lat flat and then pull in (like a drawstring bag) which doubles as a storage bag!

X

Hi everyone

Anyone else think their LO is starting to go through the dreaded four month sleep regression? Had zero sleep last night and feel absolutely terrible today. DD woke up and cried five minutes after putting her in the cot, every single time. I'm exhausted and finding it hard to stay positive today, and it's only been one night! How do people get through this??

Don't know if it's sleep regression but for the past 4 weeks or so dd wakes up every 1-2 hours at night. Previously she slept a 5 hour stretch followed by 3 or 4 hour stretches....last night was the first time that she slept for 4.5 hours.. So I'm hoping it is getting better now.. But she's just 16 weeks now 🤔

Hi Mahonia, I feel your pain. I'm living in the hope my wee one hasn't started sleep regression (she only hit 4 months 2 days ago). Until then she was great (mostly)at night. I'd get her down between 8.30/10 most nights and she'd sleep right through until about 7! 😁 But the past few nights she's been a nightmare to get to sleep, waking up almost as soon as I put her down and after eventually going to sleep she'd be up through the night. I'm struggling as she doesn't really sleep during the day apart from in her baby carrier whilst I walk the dog, so I'm running on empty. I guess we just somehow get through it. Maybe try co-sleepinng? I've not tried it but read it can help.

She's had some better nights since although still not back to her 'normal'. I just keep reminding myself it will (eventually) pass.

To add to the mix we're off to have her 16 weeks immunisations shortly. How did everyone else's little ones get on after their jabs? I'm a bit anxious about the potential for a fever, particularly on such a hot day too I have the calpol ready for when we get home, just hope I can get it in her as she hates it!

You could give her calpol just before you leave for the immunisation, so it is effective earlier and you give it to a not yet upset baby.
We uad our 12 week immunisation yesterday (very delated due to covid shambles). LO very sleepy but OK. To be honest I embraced it as she only got up once at night for a feed...

We are having our 16 week jabs today too!

@MGC40 good luck! We are back now from the Doc's, had some calpol and now its milk and nap time. It wasn't too bad, she did scream but cheered up quite quickly, although she did look super grumpy all the way home in the car. Just hope the calpol helps with any possible fever, it's hot enough today as it is!

@Felinewoman Yes that would have been a good idea doing the calpol beforehand to give it chance to get working sooner. DD wasn't too bad after the 12 week imms, she developed a slight fever in the evening around 10 hours after having the imms but one dose of calpol sorted her out. I've heard other people say that after the imms their babies have slept much better that night, better that than waking up every hour!

We are settled in now for a day of milk and cuddles (much like every other day )

Glad the immunisations went well. My LO had hers last week. I was told by the nursing staff to give her Calpol either before or another hour after her immunisations, then a further 2 doses (just at the 8 week and 16 week jags). Good to know your wee one is doing well. And now no immunisations until she's a year old! Woohoo!!
How's everyone kids feeding and sleeping? My girl is still feeding almost every 2 hours during the day and doesn't sleep except on me. I don't mind, sometimes it's nice to just sit and enjoy it but if she's grumpy when awake it makes getting anything done almost impossible.
Also, is anyone having issues with bottle feeding? Since lockdown I've ended up exclusively breastfeeding and now the wee one won't take a bottle (of breast milk). I've read that can happen but just wondering if anyone else has had this issue and what you've done to try and resolve it?

@HMSsleepy We had a rough night, DD would only sleep on me so mumma spent the night on the sofa! Fingers crossed for tonight!
DD is still feeding around every 3 hours during the day and sleeping every 2 hours. Two shorter naps and one two hour nap at lunch. Overnight she will wake up 2/3 times, I am trying to get her to sleep till 6.30/7am but it's a struggle! During the day she doesn't really let me put her down. If I manage she may sleep for 20 mins then wakes up and woke go back down unless on me. It's tough, and has been getting me quite down for a while now. I just feel like I am getting it all wrong because so many other mothers seem to be able to put their babies down. Xx