January 2020 babies new decade new babies

[muddypuddlejumping]

Would anyone like to join as I can't find a thread for the January babies. DS is a few days old born early via emcs but we're doing well. This is our second.

Currently surviving the night feeds by keeping the Jaffa cake production in business and the odd daytime nap.

@Felinewoman mine is still waking every 1-2 hours 😫 I've only had one 3 hour stretch in 8 weeks!
@LucaFritz I've not managed to master feeding lying down but I'm having issues with latch still at times as he possible has tongue tie.
He's very windy too and has reflux so we introduced a dummy but he hates it and looks like I'm poisoning him!

@muddypuddlejumping oh dear, that sounds rough. I shouldn't be complaiming then. Dd has a growth spurt i think. Super fussy and eating lots. It was a rough and tomorrow we have to take the over night ferry back to the UK... I am dreading it. 3 weeks ago I didn't get any sleep on the ferry. She hated it. It is due to my uni studies, went on elective and now it's all gone to shit due to the virus.
I'm so worried :-(

@Felinewoman Im barely a B cup but i just sort of prop his head in my arm so hes level with my nipple it means i can just rest my head on the pillow and stay somewhat asleep while keeping an eye on him and we dont have to switch the light on and sit up
@muddypuddlejumping DS refuses dummies and bottles too he just spits them out and screams

How is everyone doing? Hope you are all safe and well.
I feel like I've had this social distancing and isolation going on for the last 9 weeks with DD!!! 😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️
I'm still struggling with being able to put her down for naps. She will sleep in her Moses basket at night but during the day she will only be held, unless we are walking and then she may stay in her pram. Does anyone else have this?
I can't seem to get anything done during the day. My whole day is just feeding (breastfeeding which takes over an hour), then rocking and settling and then holding her.
I'm just not sure if this is the way it goes or I'm getting this whole parenting thing wrong! 😥

MGC40 my little girl is 9 weeks, 10 on Thursday and she still doesn’t let me put her down! So you’re not doing anything wrong I think some people get lucky!
She won’t go in her crib at all so we’re cosleeping - she fights sleep during the day so to get her to nap I have to feed her to sleep and hold her. Sometimes she’ll go in a sling but she has to be sleepy.
At night I have to feed her to sleep too - she cannot self settle and feeds every two hours.
I get nothing done! I can leave her in a bouncer for 2 minutes to go to the toilet but that’s it!
Is anyone else’s babies like this?
I keep thinking I should try a routine but everything I’ve read talks about self settling and putting in crib and I can’t do that 😩

@ReyGal My little one did this today, honestly, if you don't have any other children I wouldn't worry about it too much as it is totally normal, especially if you breastfeed. Use that as an excuse to cuddle - you can't get that time back! My eldest did the same and I just went with it, they do eventually sleep in their cot and will get to the point where they no longer need you to sleep (and it's quite sad when that happens).

My little one is currently using my boob as a dummy and won't take one but I know that it's only a short phase where they constantly need you. It could be that she's about to hit a milestone? They tend to get super fussy prior to doing something new.

I won't bother with a routine until she is at least 6 months old, I just follow her cues and my routine ends up her routine - at the age they are at now, they tend to dictate it (and that routine will likely go out the window come the next sleep regression anyway) and you just need to "go with the flow" for the moment. She will get into a predictable pattern - you just need to capitalise on it

@ReyGal Our babies were born the same day!
I can't go sleep, DD won't sleep in our bed. Luckily she will let us put her in her basket at night, but only when it's pitch black and she is in a deep sleep! During the day she will only stay in her bouncer for maybe 15 mins... She's not great in a sling either.
I agree, any of these routines involve self settling, which has to be taught....I've tried a few times and she just screams. I guess they maybe a little too young??
So I am trying to just go with it. Thank you @Leasy your words are encouraging. I am already shocked at how time flies and how much she has grown so will try and embrace this time and these cuddles.
I guess I just worry that everything should be a lot more organised or running smoothly than it is. Probably influenced by the facade people put on. It's good to hear that I am not alone! X

@MGC40 you are definitely not alone! Babies will have easy days and tough days - yesterday was my tough day where she just wouldn't settle without one of us holding her but today was totally fine - thus the nature of our kiddos. I would only start worrying about self-soothing after the 4 month mark, wait until after this "4th Trimester", this is the time they are taking to adjust to being outside the womb. I promise this does pass and you will find your new normal soon. It's ok to not feel ok

Is anyone else’s LO refusing to go in their basket/crib? We have tried everything but still having to cosleep and I’m up BF every 2 hours. Even during the day to get her to nap I’m having to go into our bed and let her sleep on me. I’m really struggling as spending most of the day in the bed with her - no tv in bedroom and in the times that she is awake she won’t be put down! I can’t even get her to nap without feeding her to sleep😩 I keep looking at websites for sleep guidance and seeing all these sleep courses but don’t want to pay if it’s just going to last until she’s 12 weeks (everyone keeps saying this is the magic point where it gets better). It’s getting me down as all I see are babies her age sleeping through or going 4/5 hours between night feeds and I’m exhausted 💤

@ReyGal Perhaps because she is going from a warm body to a cold bed - maybe try putting down a heating pad or hot water bottle where she sleeps (and taking it off before you pop her down) and making that area nice and warm it should be a better transition? I find that with my little one she doesn't like the sudden coldness of her bed and wants to be resettled. Hopefully that might work.

Thanks for the water bottle advice Leasy I have tried to warm it and use something that smells of me but still no joy 😩

She has been doing something new for 3 days and I’m going crazy! She feeds fine when waking during the night or from a nap but the minute she gets tired she will not latch if I offer the breast just screams and screams. Because I was feeding her to sleep and she won’t self-settle in her crib I’m now having to fight to get her to nap.

How do you get a baby to nap without feeding?! I’m just rocking and rocking her atm but takes forever and then she wakes up after 30-40 minutes. I’m very baby led so wondering if I need to be more strict at getting her to nap?! How do I spot she’s tired before she’s overtired?

@ReyGal omg... I was just about to essentially write the same post.
Dd was fine until last week. She changed into a screaming, nap refusing demon from one day to the next.
Her night sleep deteriorated and she wakes up frequently and stirrs all night and i need to take her to bed with me for her to get any sleep.
During the day she's super fussy. Her feeding seems very on/off and frequent but inefficient. She cries a lot and is hard to settle.
She doesn't settle with my partner anymore only on boob.
Daytime naps went to shit and she only sleeps in my arms... If at all...
So she ends up overtired.

Help please 😭

Oh, she's 11 weeks tomorrow

@Felinewoman mines 11 weeks on Thursday! I wonder if they’re going through some form of leap or growth spurt. I have to have her in my bed with me as she won’t settle in crib and will only settle being held by me but today she had a nap in her bouncer although it was the only nap she had. She’s had 90 minutes sleep all day and just gone to sleep on me now.
I keep trying to settle her thinking she must be tired but she will not give in and just screams!
Still thrashing about at the breast so I ended up expressing her daytime feeds and giving her in a bottle - it was a pain tho as always chasing my tail as I’d express a feed then whilst she’s drinking that I’d need to be expressing the next one 😩
No idea what to do and hoping this is just a phase and will stop - she’s so tired in the day her eyes are red and I don’t want to have to stop breastfeeding but she would not take the breast at all today!

DS is 10 weeks now but still in his First Size clothes hes only just come out of the tiny baby size even though hes 10lbs anyone else finding clothes size's odd or do i just have a strange shaped baby ? He was 54cm and 9lbs at his last check over a month ago but the label on first size says 50cm and upto 7.5lbs he does have big feet though which is making it hard to find sleepsuits that fit his feet without squishing them

My little one turned 13 weeks old today. How the time flies.

@ReyGal how are you doing? My daughter is sort of back to her normal self... Fingers crossed it lasts.
She just fell asleep on her own in her basket :-) first time. My partner just plonked her in after I complained that she's cranky today. She just watched her mobile for 15 mins and fell asleep....

@Felinewoman that's amazing! That's my goal. My DD will only sleep in my arms during daylight. Last night though, when I put her down she woke and then settled again without waking herself totally up and me picking her back up. The smallest thing but I can have hope!
Does anyone else's bub not want to be held by their partner? My girl just wants to be held by me, very frustrating for us both. She is happy playing and talking to my partner if he is hovering over her, but if he carries her to try she cries.

@Felinewoman she’s still only taking the breast after waking up or if my partner gives her an ounce expressed she’ll then take the breast cos she’s hungry. Still won’t sleep except on me or in bed on with my arm under her head. I’m getting a stiff neck and dead arm. Tonight I’ve been in the bedroom with her since 6.30 as she was grizzly so we bathed her and she fed and went to sleep on me. Haven’t had any dinner I’m starving!

@MGC40 same here but only when settling. She’s happy to sit with him to play but she’ll only go to sleep with me and if he comes in the bedroom she won’t go to sleep. Feeling quite down about it all as sat alone in the bedroom with her on me from 7pm most nights. She still won’t be put down I’ve tried everything and nothing works! I need her to do it I’m finding this very hard

@ReyGal It's horrible isn't it, feeling so low. People keep saying "it'll get better" and you just want to scream at them "Give me a date when!!!"
Will your LO stay asleep in your arms if you leave the room? I know not ideal, but I just stay downstairs with her in my arms.

I am currently sitting on sofa with dd in my arms, tired and sad.
I am not enjoying motherhood at the moment. Since my last post every nap was in our arms.
When does it get better? How do i get her to sleep in basket / pram/ cot?

@Felinewoman I know it's super difficult now, it will get better - perhaps bubba is going through a developmental leap, I know my little one is and is having trouble like you describe, my night last night was a little hellish because she wouldn't settle without me - it could be a couple more weeks, then like all of a sudden baby is so much better and sleeping well you're left wondering what the hell happened.
It will end, hang in there!

@MGC40 no unfortunately if I leave the room she wakes herself up! It’s the change of temperature. We live in a flat and the living room is really warm. It’s like she’s trying to fight sleep every time - but then I was like this as a baby I wouldn’t sleep and had a hernia so my parents couldn’t let me cry!

I agree though I wish someone would give me this magical date of when it gets better.

@Felinewoman I know how you feel - I can’t get her to sleep anywhere but my arms. I keep trying the bedside crib and sleepyhead but not happening. Tbh I’ve given up - when I eventually get her to sleep for a nap I lie in bed with her and hold her and same from 7pm onwards I’m in the bedroom on my own settling her.

I’m scared and worried though that I’ve now created a habit as she seems only able to sleep in the day and at night in our bed with me led on my side holding her close to me. I tried to move my arm away from under her yesterday and her eyes opened straight away! 😔

@ReyGal @Felinewoman It's nice to know we are not alone. It would often get me down thinking that everyone else must just put their babies down and I can't. I have worn a dent in the sofa where I have just sat for weeks holding my girl.
I often wonder how the hell others do it? They look like they get up, somehow put make up on, manage to workout, wear nice clothes, go places....I feel like I have spent 11 weeks self isolating! I get up, feed (which can go on for over an hour!) then by the time I get her down and she sleeps a little it's time for the next feed.
I can't figure out how to get it together.
I feel guilty that I am not enjoying motherhood as much as I thought. I guess no one truly tells you how hard it is, or what to expect. And social media and these "celebrities" just put up pictures that make it look like a piece of piss and you wonder why you just can't seem to manage!
But...the truth is we all do seem to struggle, one way or another.
Let's keep this thread going, I've found it supportive xxxx

Hi all, hoping I can join in this thread. My DD was born 17th January. Reading this thread is making me feel a lot better. I think she's going through a growth spurt. She will sit in her bouncy chair for a short amount of time but is mostly eating and sleeping, but she's feeding for at least an hour and will only sleep on me during the day. My hubby also isn't coping great as she won't settle with him. Like some of you, she's happy for him to play and talk to but that's it. She's great at night bonce she goes to sleep, usually sleeps from 9.30/10.30 until between 6-8am but it's driving me mad not settling during the day. My house is a riot and I can rarely make dinner. I just feel like all I do is sit on the couch (which unfortunately I feel like that's what my hubby thinks at times and that's just infuriating!). I keep looking at articles about getting a routine with your baby but at the moment I feel that this is just never going to happen!