January 2020 babies new decade new babies

[muddypuddlejumping]

Would anyone like to join as I can't find a thread for the January babies. DS is a few days old born early via emcs but we're doing well. This is our second.

Currently surviving the night feeds by keeping the Jaffa cake production in business and the odd daytime nap.

Do any of your babied have a bliked nose? Seems like mine has a bit of congestion. She's feeding ok but seems to work a bit harder breathing and sounds snotty. Otherwise well.
Any advise?

Hi all - Can I join? My DS is 3 weeks. Nothing really prepared me for how hard the first couple of weeks have been! I'm the same the nights just feel quite lonely - I've got some audiobooks to listen to to try and take the edge off being up so much in the night ! I keep thinking this is just temporary and hoping the sleep deprivation isn't forever ?! I want to get out the house but feel like I'm not sure when I'll ever be ready to leave the house properly on my own as feeding so much etc I can barely get myself dressed never mind getting somewhere on time - does this get easier? X

@Felinewoman my DS was quite snotty at first - it just cleared on its own - but midwife said it's normal and can buy saline drops from chemist if didn't clear

@Dandelion3 ah thanks! I'll just watch her
And welcome to the group of sufferers

@Dandelion3 The loneliness at night time is so hard. I have been listening to podcasts, especially ones that are like a discussion, that helps a bit. I have my dog as well who sits beside me the whole time and that takes the edge off. He's been a star, we were worried he'd be anxious with the baby around but he's taken it in his stride.

@LoveIsLovely that's great re your dog. My dogs still at my parents atm he's a lovely dog but gets a little excited with the baby noises and is so curious I felt abit anxious watching both him aswell as the baby so he's staying with my parents for now and having lots of visits but it makes me abit sad he's not here!! Just going to give it time and he's super happy at my parents for abit xx

Ps pod casts a good idea!! Any recommendations?

Re podcasts: i like cabinet of curiosities because they are usually about 10 mins long so not committing to an hour of discussion when only feeding for 30 mins.
Medical mysteries is good, too.
Weirdest thing I learned this week I also like.
I'm a scientist/ medic so like the science and nature magazine ones as well... Makes me feel like I didn't totally loose my brain.
There's also dirty histories if you like some grim stuff...

Welcome and congratulations @Dandelion3 @LoveIsLovely
It definitely gets easier! I say this from the experience of this being my second.
Something that's really helping me is going to bed early and leaving DS with DH while I get a few hours sleep. Sometimes he gives him an expressed bottle too so I get even longer then I can cope with the two hourly night wakings more easily.
My night distraction is food and MN although trying to curb the night snacking now to lose the weight.
Getting referred to the prolonged jaundice clinic today but hoping it'll just be for a check.

@Dandelion3 We were worried too but so far no issues. I'm more worried about when the baby is mobile.

I like the In Our Time from the BBC (actually lots of BBC podcasts are good) and also one called Mental Illness Happy Hour which is an interview with people who have mh problems but from a comedy perspective (sounds kind of stupid but the guy is really calm and it makes me feel relaxed). Also Welcome to Night Vale and Speaking of Psychology.

@Felinewoman I'll have to have a listen to those suggestions.

@muddypuddlejumping Thanks for the welcome, hope all is well at the jaundice clinic.

I am feeling way better today, he has been sleeping so well and is pretty chill all round.

Hello everyone!
I’m so glad I’ve found something like this to be able to talk to people on who are all in the same boat! My little girl was born on Jan 20th, my first baby! It really is the best and most overwhelming experience I’ve ever felt! My partner went back to work on Monday and all the emotions and tears I was feeling had all gone... until now! Had a really long night with her last night and barely slept, nothing would settle her and I just felt like I was failing all over again ☹️ Had a nap today to try and recharge! I just feel lonely in the early hours of the morning and feel like I need to talk to someone but don’t want to disturb my partner as he has work, anyone else feel this way? Be good to talk to some new people 🙂

@Tink20120 @Tink20120 Hi! Good to meet you!
My partner is due back to work on Monday and I am a little terrified. I totally understand not wanting to wake/worry your partner. Sometimes I think if I was honest he may think less of me as a mother. The nights are so incredibly lonely and hard to get through. I struggle with staying awake and you feel so wreck-less if you fall asleep holding the baby, another failure!
This group is good to use for chatting, especially in the early hours...it's when I found everyone xxx So chat away xx

Hey, good to meet you too :) I was fine the first couple days until we had a rough night last night and I’ve been emotional today! But I guess those days/nights are going to happen! It’s reassuring to know I’m not alone in how I’m feeling, I’m the same I wake up with her in my arms! I will definitely be chatting away! Thank you for the reply 🙂xx

I sometimes dream that he is in my arms and wake up in a panic to realise he's asleep in his crib. It's horrible 🙁
Is anyone else still suffering with night sweats? Mine are horrific. It's driving me crazy!

Hi all, had my little boy on the 29th Jan. Forceps and episiotomy birth and have been in agony for the last week. Can’t really move much from the sofa, have been in tears the pain is so bad! Didn’t expect this to be so hard, perhaps naively....
Will be nice to share advice and anxieties with new mums on here!
@muddypuddlejumping my night sweats are epic 😳

books, no forceps but had bad tearing so understand what you mean. I couldn't sit,stand, lie down,anything without pain.

A few days ago, my FIL wss trying to take a photo of us and kept saying "sit down,sit down" and I just burst into tears and ran out of the room, it was awful.

Things that have helped: a sitz bath filled with cleaning solution (I got it from the hospital) twice a day; sleeping on towels with no pad/pants on; putting pure aloe gel on pads before using them. All of these help a bit and a week later, I'm feeling a bit better.

Hello! I had the exact same birth as you, forceps and episiotomy! My little girls shoulders were stuck and I had been pushing too long! I didn’t expect to be in as much agony as I was! I couldn’t get out of bed properly, it was very painful and being emotional on top of that was really tough! 2 weeks 2 days on and I feel back to my normal self physically, still a little uncomfortable at times but it’s much better, so I hope it’s the same for you :) i found the first few days so hard being physically tired and not sleeping because of baby, it gets better though! I’m tired but it’s not as much of a struggle as the first week! I’m having a berocca vitamin drink every morning to try and get some goodness again 🙂 hope you recover soon xx

Thanks for the tips! @LoveIsLovely A friend just visited and brought me some bath salts so will try those tomorrow. And the aloe sounds good too. I've done lavender, witch hazel, homemade ice packs, special ice packs I bought online, pads soaked in chamomile tea....That one has actually helped! I'm on all the drugs I can take whilst BF. They prescribed me suppositories which took the edge off but only for 3 days and they won't give me any more - and they only initially agreed because I sobbed in the hospital! Trying to focus on the baby, and how wonderful it is having him, but it's hard.
So glad to hear you are both feeling more normal now, it gives me hope! X

Books, It is so hard, isn't it? Not being able to stand up and sit down makes taking care of the baby so difficult, sometimes when he cries or whatever, I feel so desperate because it's the whole process of trying to stand up, bending over, picking him up...it all hurts so much. I will hate my midwife, who made me push way before I was ready, until the end of time. (Ended up pushing for five hours, with her rolling her eyes that I wasn't pushing properly.)

Love my little boy so much and I am lucky that I have a lot of help but I will be so glad when I've fully healed. I get my stitches out on Tuesday and my doctor said I'd feel much better after that so I hope so.

This might sound awful and it's really not intended that way AT ALL but I've battled with having to have a c-section and therefore not having the perfect 'natural' birth you are led to believe everyone else has. It's really interesting to read that actually most births are hard and there's a huge struggle with recovery afterwards wherever your stitches are placed.
I'm still in pain from my section but getting there, especially when I remember my painkillers. I'm definitely feeling a lot more mobile and comfortable though nearly 3 weeks on.
I really hope you start to feel better very soon @LoveIsLovely and @Booksandstuff. I agree, it's so hard looking after a new born and not feeling well yourself.

@muddypuddlejumping I had a c section, too because baby was breech. So it was a no brainer to go for the section. I agree that sometimes it feels like we must have natural births and c sections are almost inferior... "too posh to push" you know what, fuck them!

Hi everyone, can I join aswell! First time Mam and my little one was born on January 21st! I had quite a traumatic birth. Baby was back to back so labour was extremely long and ended up with episiotomy and ventuose delivery. I’m absolutely in love with my little boy but finding the recovery difficult as still quite tender. My husband is due to go back to work on Tuesday next week so then the real fun starts!

@Felinewoman how is your recovery going?
Welcome and congratulations @ProseccoBee hope you start to feel better quite soon.

@muddypuddlejumping to be honest the c section was great. I guess I am one of the lucky ones. Didn't need pain relief after day 2 and am out and about. Went up the local hill with baby a few days ago. The scar is a bit lumpy but I guess that will settle.
I hope you'll heal up quickly as well

@ProseccoBee welcome! Ventuose and episiotomy sounds hard. I hope you manage to recover quickly. The doctor was literally reaching for the scissors to do my episiotomy too but as he grabbed them, the baby came. Not sure if that is good or bad, I tore so badly, not sure if cutting would have been better or worse.

@muddypuddlejumping I hate the shaming that goes on around motherhood. Natural birth sounds great in theory and I was meant to have one but it didn't work out like that at all, I was screaming for the epidural. I'm actually feeling quite traumatised by the whole "natural birth" thing, I was promised so much and in the end, it wasn't like I'd been told it would be. I had a little cry with my husband earlier, I was so scared during labour, it wasn't even the pain so much as just total terror. He cried too, he said it was awful to see me in so much pain and so scared.

No shame in a c section at all, I'm amazed that women are taking care of a baby having had massively invasive surgery. In any other circumstances, you'd be on bed rest for weeks. I hope you start to feel better about it soon and are able to ignore the shamers.

Just having nice skin to skin cuddle with my baby who is snoring away. He's meant to be feeding but he refuses to wake up so I've given up and just enjoying cuddling him.