The March-ers 2019 - Baby Talk #2

[Angelmiracle]

Thread 2 for all our newborns ❤🤗👣

@melissa112 we just had him in a long sleeved cotton onesie (sorry it that wasn't clear!) and then a little cotton hat on his head. He seemed happy enough! We have been out like this in the middle of the day so you should be ok in the early evening. It took us a few goes to work out where his legs are supposed to go as where they drop isn't the right place (in our experience) and the first time we couldn't work out why he was screaming for a few mins and then we realised it was because we were squashing his legs.

@badbadbeans maybe my nurse was just being cautious then? She said it was because they have to be swallowed and they can't do it again so if the dosage gets mixed with milk it isn't digested as well.

After two good night's on the row my LO is playing up tonight. Not wanting to go to sleep at all got a feeling it's going to be a long night . Has anyone baby been putting there hands in their mouth? Ever since she discovered she could do it she does it frequently. Before or after feeds so it's not for hunger signs. Think she's just discovered something new

@kee80 how did you get on with the jabs yesterday? Think we escaped a fever but he didnt really do much apart from eat and sleep yesterday. He did projectile all his milk up last night about 2mins after finishing his bottle before bed but not sure if that was related as he kept the next one down.

@Gronk27 love the quote about happy mum, so true! I've also struggled to work out whether G is just awake or hungry, he no longer roots for food and hasnt done for weeks since we started ff so no advice on that front sorry. Glad you and DH are sorted, its hard not to be snappy sometimes when sleep is still hard and easy to say things we dont mean. DP had hold of George last night while i did some bits and showered and kept asking me to do him loads of favours, 'can you please pass me the remote for the tv as i cant move with George on me', 'please could you do me a favour and do this and that as I've got George on me'. I did ask him what he thinks i do in the daytime when i have hold of George! I'm meeting a friend on Saturday for lunch but its a longish drive so dont want to take George so leaving him with DP, DSS and DDog from 12-6 so we'll see how he gets on!

@BadBadBeans did you DS1 settle down after his walk with daddy? A Mumsnet catch up is definitely needed sometimes, i often go up to bed to go to sleep and then have a little catch up on here instead and feel guilty but its so nice to be able to talk to others in the same boat!

@cardboard33 ah i see what you mean now, i still get confused with sleepsuit/bodysuits haha. I'll do a triple check on the legs then now youve said that. We didnt go last night as he was too sleepy after his jabs but hoping to go tonight.

@Jenlou1992 oh definitely with you on the hands in mouth! Hes 9 and a half weeks and i reckon.hes been doing it for the last 2 weeks at least and now prefers it to the dummy which I'd rather he didnt! He also wants to put everything in his mouth and is constantly trying to eat his clothes, bib, my top, his toys. He pulls himself forward in his bouncer chair to eat the toys dangling down so now i have to be extra careful and worried hes going to topple it forward. Hes also taken to licking us which is hilarious but no idea why!

@Jenlou1992 Yes to fingers (& bibs!) in the mouth.... and lots of dribble too. I wondered if he was getting ready to start teething ...

Little man is 10 weeks now - he's had a probe mark on his head since birth that's since been covered with cradle cap. We've woke up this morning and it looks like the stabbing there has come off and it now looks a bit bloody.

Is this normal or do I need to go to the dr in case of infection?

@melissa112 she screamed when she had them done which made me cry haha. She was fine up until about 8.30 then she didn't want to be put down. Toilet her to bed at 10 and she slept till 7.45 so she was good luckily. Glad George was ok too

@Jenlou1992 yep my little one constantly had her hands in her mouth. She's 8+2 weeks and started about a week ago

@melissa112 oh I know. ‘I can’t put a wash on I’ve got her’ Erm how do I do all the washing and the bottles and cooking them?! Again leading by example I fetched him a drink because he was stuck under her. Let’s make this a thing! I’m now turning the light on and staring at Adela’s face to see if she has eyes open/mouth open and DH said don’t worry if she cries, etc. Do what you have to do which is good as I have been trying to preserve his sleep. A’s just started putting her fingers in her mouth! That surprised me.

@Gronk27 have you got a night light you can put near the bed so you can see her face enough with putting a big light on?

I wrote this at 2am but couldn't load MN to post

@Jenlou1992 Mine has found his thumb to suck and now does it I think just because he can. We gave a dummy to avoid thumb sucking but he tends to spit them out.

Had our 6 week checks today without any issues. M has been a very placid baby up until this week but now cries very loudly when he's tired and tries to fight sleep. He also seems to now go from happy to tired and raging in a flash - so that's fun!!

On the plus side, loads of reactive smiles today 😊

@whatalearningcurve we’re really lucky we have a wall light either side of the bed and the main light and all 3 are on dimmer switches. It was more trying to keep it dark to keep A sleepy and trying to sort of stay asleep myself but now it’s easier just to check rather than lying there thinking ‘is she hungry’. We went straight back to the 2am feed last night and therefore a 5am one which is mostly struggling to pooh and feed at the same time. Then some smiles and songs and we both had a nap.

@Jenlou1992 My LB puts his fingers in his mouth so far down he makes himself gag. He leaves it about ten seconds then does it again!

I've got a question for you all if you don't mind... how often are you allowing visitors to come round? My MIL comes atleast 2-3 times during the week and then wants to come at the weekend as well. She also continuously texts. I'm talking maybe 10 texts a day to each of us. always initiated by her and not always replied to. I don't mind her popping in on the way home from work for a quick cup of coffee but she's here for about an hour each time. My DH has to then tell her we're busy at the weekend and she then makes sarcastic comments about it when she comes during the week. My husband works 50 hour weeks so we like the weekends to be just us. I don't know how to tell her we don't want her more than once a week. She wound me up a treat yesterday as G was fighting falling asleep and was drifting as she arrived and she high pitched shrieked at him "oooohhh are you waking up to see nanny?!!!" His eyes were closed and resulted in him jumping and crying. I could have punched her. 😂

@assumeitwassomethingclever my friend’s 12 week old does that! A precursor to teething maybe?

Gosh I think you’re going to have to set some boundaries. It’s one thing if she’s loads of help! Is it first grandchild? Can your DH have a word? Or maybe you’ll have to start dropping hints ‘oh I barely have chance to send a text sometimes’ ‘we really could do with some quiet time this week’ ‘can’t wait for a family weekend with DH and LO, how are you? See you next week’ ‘we’re having a Mummy LO day today’ passive aggressive like!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever I'm quite lucky in that this is my mums 9th grandchild so she's fully aware where her boundaries should be and always invites rather than demands visits. It's DP's mums 4th grandchild so again - it's not a new novelty for her. Plus she seems to be a less hands on grandparent - she is quite happy to see him and have a cuddle but overall she's very different with her other 3 grandkids but I think that's because they're her daughters children - she lives local to them and she doesn't drive so apparently it's beyond her to get a bus 🙄🙄

@Jenlou1992 I think the hands thing is part of the 8 week development leap. Baby starts to control the hands a lot more and notices what they do and that they are part of him/her. Mine started 4 days ago roughly, but watches just the one he can turn to.
@assumeitwassomethingclever I would seriously kick her out and told her not to come back for a month. We're struggling with sleep so much, especially since the LO got more alert and aware of the world around him, that if someone did that they'd have to beg me for weeks to be invited back. Sleep is such a struggle now. We're getting 20 minute naps only, still. Day 3.
Just tell her you can't spend the time with her and you need to focus your energy on the LO. Happy to see her once a week, or a few short visits, if that's what she prefers. If she's unhappy with that, it's her problem. Don't waste your energy on trying to please her. Just get your partner's support on that first, so you don't argue unnecessarily.
Sometimes having all family thousand miles away is a good thing. I get annoyed by daily request for video calls.

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever you poor thing, no way could I cope with that!
I don't let people come to me, I always say I will go to them. That way I decide when I've had enough and can go home, (usually about an hour). I visit my mum, dad and mil once a week.
I don't get texts off mil my OH deals with all that thank god

So glad you all think it's too much as well!
I was worried I was being a bit insensitive to her excitement of having a grand child.
@Sheeni oh I hate the cat naps! He seems to wake up crankier after twenty minutes. To be honest, we're lucky to get length. If I put him down midsleep (he'll only fall asleep on me) he wakes up and literally screams as if he's in pain then stops as soon as I've picked him up. I've just let him sleep on me today and he's had 3 naps. One of an hour, one of two and then we're currently half an hour into the third (unless this is him for the night!)
Have you got a sling/carrier at all? I've just ordered one off amazon. 🤞

@assumeitwassomethingclever We have a carrier, but I'm still struggling to use it. As he's got the reflux, I'm trying so hard to not push his belly, that I subconsciously breathe very shallowly and stand really unnaturally, and it makes me quite faint. Also, he keeps looking for the nipple as he can smell the milk so close.
DH uses it a lot. Still getting just catnaps on bad days though.
I wish he still slept on me. Used to watch quite a few movies and series that way. It wasn't comfy, but it got the results. I think he gets a bit frustrated when breastfeeding since the tongue tie division.

We've given him some formula tonight, to see if it settles him better. He really struggled drinking from the bottle, lots went right out of his mouth, gulped quite a bit of air etc. I'm assuming this is normal on a first try? He managed 50ml, which is not a lot, but he did get the boob an hour before and just after, which he took more for the comfort and didn't drink a lot anyway.

@sheeni what bottle/teat are you using? We’ve been through quite a few now! We had a nightmare with a variflow teat flooding and A always takes on too much air. It could just be your LO isn’t used to it like you say. I was told to BF first then top up with formula so maybe if LO isn’t too hungry he would take the bottle more calmly. Although at first we would offer a little bit off bottle and then quickly switch to boob but that was to trick A into BF. It did take her a couple of days to get used to her new mouth. Did you LO settle more? As for the sling first time I used it A was sick down us both but then fell asleep so I left it fit a bit and got loads done. I take solace in the fact that although she’s a sicky baby and sometimes you can tell it’s not much fun for her mostly she’s just bringing back what she doesn’t need as her tummy is full and she’s putting on weight, etc. Messy as it is! I found her fighting on the breast really hard and ultimately why I stopped. Do you express to up your flow or are you pretty sure your supply is good? My thoughts are that because of A’s TT (she could latch but not move the milk back to swallow) my milk never really got going but you’re still pretty much EBF so sounds like your supply is there? Sorry you’re not getting much sleep!

@gronk27 We're trying Dr Brown's, recommended by friends, so he doesn't get too much air. But he struggled to suckle it so much that he still got loads of air anyway. We also have the Tommy Tippee bottles at home and we'll give them a go if he doesn't get better on this one in a few days.

We wanted to see if we can replace one breastfeed with a bottle, but as I said, he had the breast not long before, so he shouldn't have been very hungry anyway. I kept the boob on the ready anyway, but he did go on it more calmly and fell asleep pretty fast, throwing our plan of trying to put him to his cot again out of the window.

My mood is very foul today as he had a good night's sleep (on me), but still only manages 20 minute catnaps all day, even his first one. He shouldn't be overtired so soon after waking up?! Maybe he is, it did take me 1.5 hrs to settle him in the morning. And then he WOKE UP AFTER 20MINUTES. So worth the effort.
We then went to our first baby development class and I spent most of it walking around trying to keep him upright and not crying. It was a disaster. Luckily it was just a trial and I know we're not ready for something like that yet. Hopefully the Renitidine kicks in soon, it's been a week and I don't see any improvement yet.
Sorry for the rant, I was hoping I'll get to talk to other people today in the class, but I managed about 10 (very broken) minutes tops.

@sheeni gosh you’re going through it. I think the more overtired they are it’s harder, especially with tummy ache. All I can say is we tight swaddle, dummy and white noise or falling that pram/car seat. The Tommee Tippee’s are pretty easy to suckle and we use them now but not sure if they are helping with our wind/reflux situation other than because A can just crack on she’s generally just swallowing milk, I take it your LO is putting weight on ok so they’re not too quick to look at allergies, etc?

A’s just been sick clear liquid?! She’s having a really refluxy, windy day bless her.

I've missed to many to catch up but hope you're all well!

Iv been struggling massively. I have the mental health nurse coming out Monday morning Iv got real bad PND. Iv been punching myself in the head, biting myself, hitting my head on the bed and having intrusive thoughts again about LO and then wanting to step out into traffic.
I feel horrendous and crazy and my mood is all over the shop.
I can't deal when she screams in the car seat it sends me into the crazy frenzy.
I feel like a failure as a mum and that my DD deserves a better mum one who has co troll over herself and doesn't do stuff as Iv mentioned.
I just want to feel like myself again.
Sorry to put this on you guys I just need to vent and I feel like my friends don't understand

@shiny888 firstly, well done for realising that something isn't right with how you're feeling towards your baby, and yourself, and for getting some help. That's a good step and one that it takes a lot of people a long time to do, or they never do. Do you have a partner, family or friends to stay with you and help with the baby until you've been visited by the nursing team? Or could you ask someone else to take care of your daughter for the weekend whilst you take some time out to focus on you? You're really not a failure or failing her, and the fact you're getting help is just one example of why this is true. You mentioned that your can't deal with it when she's crying in the car seat - do you find it harder to manage when she's crying here rather than at other times? Again, just leave the car for the moment or get someone else to look after her if you do need to go out. In terms of finding it easier to talk on here, I've always found it's easier to be honest when it's anonymous and I find it easier to write my feelings than to talk about them in person anyway. Could you write out the thoughts that you've been having here or in a PM, and then show that to the nursing team when they visit you?

Please do keep posting, it's what this group is here for and you won't be the only one who is feeling like this for sure. There will be a lot of lurkers or regular posters who aren't replying who echo your thoughts and are relieved that you're acknowledging the fact that being a mum simply isn't easy, and sometimes we all just need a bit of help in life.

@shiny888 Oh gosh, and I thought I was struggling today! I'm sure you are doing everything you can for your baby. It's horrible when they cry, I can't take it for long myself and will cry occasionally, too. I second cardboard33, try and ask a friend, family member, someone you trust, for help. If at all possible, try to get more than just couple of hours, and try not to feel guilty about it. If you had really bad vomiting and diarrhoea and a flu on top of that, would you hesitate asking for help and would you feel guilty about it? Or would you know you're doing the best thing for your baby, trying to avoid getting them sick as well and making sure they are still well cared for, even though you're not at your best? PND is really awful and I can tell you that you shouldn't feel like a failure, which you totally shouldn't, but I think it's the PND making you feel like that and what I say will make a little difference. You're doing everything you should. Have you tried calling PANDAS (helpline on 0843 28 98 401 (9am to 8pm, Monday to Sunday) or NCT helpline? They might have some coping strategies that you can use until Monday.

@Gronk27 DH managed to get him to sleep in the carrier for an hour, and he had two catnaps on me while feeding (feed-catnap-feed-catnap). We'll catch up eventually, I hope. I read in quite a few places that short naps are very common for silent reflux babies. Yay!
Not sure about the clear sick as you're FF. My LO sometimes has that and I read it's just milk.

@sheeni it’s sure to settle down at some point hope you get some respite soon!!

@shiny888 you can’t help being poorly! Well done for posting and asking for support that’s so brave. Please be kind to yourself and you have to look after you because you can look after others. Ask friends and family if you can. Looking back, if you were to tell your friends when you were better they will have wished you asked them for help at the time, at the same time I totally get it’s very hard to open up.xxx