The March-ers 2019 - Baby Talk #2

[Angelmiracle]

Thread 2 for all our newborns ❤🤗👣

Sorry that some of you are struggling with your partners. Mine is fine, fortunately, although I do get annoyed at how slow he does things/what he prioritises. For example, husband is in charge of all things bottle and sterilising. He makes the formula and gives the feed before we go to bed but sometimes baby will be crying as he's hungry and instead of prioritising making the food, he will do some other random job first just because and then get onto doing the formula so in the interim ten mins I end up getting my breast out as he's being too slow and I don't see why our child should be left crying purely because daddy chose to empty the washing machine instead of giving him food. Likewise we've got a routine for bedtime which involves having the dimmed lights in our bedroom yet when he wants to get undressed he will turn the light on fully because he can't see, when surely in almost 33 years of life he's worked out how to take his clothes off and put new ones on without being able to see exactly what he's doing and if he hasn't then we've got plenty of other rooms that do have lights for him to go in?! I just find it really odd!

Oh god the getting out of the house thing takes forever when he's with us. Don't really know why but it takes substantially longer than when I'm on my own.

I'm quite reassured that it's not just mine who can't get out of the house easily. I walked both boys to nursery this morning and left the house at 7:25 (v proud). DH was getting himself ready for work and left just before us, running a good 10 minutes late. He started putting DS's coat on for him which I don't understand - we can be late for nursery, he can't be late for work so don't try to help. Also it messes up my routine when he does.

We also have the same thing with priority. I lost it last week when he didn't wash up the breast pump which he said he was going to do so it wasn't ready when I needed it. He got distracted washing something else up I think and didn't think about the fact that I'd need the pump sooner than we needed a plate or whatever.

Oh also what is everyone using to shade baby in the pram? I have a parasol from DS1 that I couldn't ever get to clip properly to the pushchair. If fits on this one better but will probably be in the way if DS1 is using the buggy board so I'm not that keen.

@Jenfur you've just reminded me that I need to get a parasol! Luckily I'm in Mothercare as I type ha

Just dropping in. Watching with interest about the shade for baby in pram. Really really want to get out for a walk but having to hibernate til after 6 when the sun isnt as harsh as the UV cover on the pram doesn't cover him properly.

DP told me yesterday that hes away from Mon-thurs next week for work. He tried to get out of it but no one else can do it. I'm feeling slightly apprehensive about him going. We do one night on and one night off with George's night feed as he only wakes once so I'm lucky in that respect but will definitely be a shock to do it alone. I think i can manage that fine but DP makes tea most nights or he plays with George while i do his bottles and other bits in the evening so i think I'll struggle in the evening with putting George down long enough to make tea and wash all his bottles etc without him crying. May have to be a ready meal and takeout kind of week!

Did someone say that had the Baby Bjorn One carrier? We got given that from a friend who no longer needs it. Is it ok in this weather to use?

This is going to sound really weird but it feels as if baby is teething. I'm guessing 9 weeks is way too early but he's suddenly dribbling spit bubbles loads so has a red chin and is pulling himself upright in his bouncer to try to eat this firefly toy we've hung off it. He's constantly licking me or his babygrow and eating his hands but not in a hungry way and his dummy doesn't help. Has anyone else found this? He's even using his body strength to almost sit up from lying back on me to try to eat stuff?!

Do need to catch up properly. We have his jabs tomorrow so guessing it'll be a cuddle on the sofa day so can do a proper catch up then!

It seems like everyone's got their LOs into routines. We're still playing it by ear. How old were your LOs when you started the routine? I've been thinking about trying to get G into one for a couple of weeks but have no idea where to start! He's 7 weeks on Thursday.

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever we started about 7 weeks. The only reason bring I didn't want him to get used to falling asleep with noise at night when he's downstairs with us so wanted him to get used to the quiet!

@assumeitwassomethingclever We are 7.5 weeks and have very little in terms of a routine. Just a bath sometime around 8pm, aiming to be in bed by 9pm. Not great timing, but he's not a good daysleeper anyway, so anything earlier than this is a bit difficult, especially as it's getting lighter and lighter. And 9pm is my husband's bedtime already anyway, as he needs to be up at 4am, so we don't have to worry about one disrupting the other too much.

Otherwise we're totally playing it by ear still. As far as I know (theory only here as FTM), babies don't really understand patterns until they're 12w anyway, so that's when you should have a routine in mind and start sticking to it. At least that's what I'm telling myself so I don't worry about it too much.

We seem to have fallen into a sort of routine in that he has a feed somewhere around 6pm then falls asleep about 7ish on us, we put him down in moses basket about 8:45 then he wakes himself up before 9. While he's waking, I get myself ready for bed then we take him upstairs, change him and put him in sleeping bag then have his feed in the bedroom with just a lamp on. He usually wakes 1-2 ish then again somewhere between 5-6 and then all routine goes out of the window depending on the day! If nursery day, we need to get up and out of the house, if not then he usually gets woken up by DS1.

Last night he slept until nearly 4am - 6.5 hours sleep!! I couldn't believe it. Though typically I then struggled to get back to sleep myself after his feed!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever we dont really have a routine yet either other than wanting him in bed by 10. His last bottle time can vary as even though he generally has 6oz every 4-5 hours in the day, in the night he goes around 6 hours between his last feed and waking up so this moves the day bottles round each day which isnt ideal. Sometimes he's fed at 8 then bed at 10 so he'll wake at 2 then again around 6. Other times his last bottle falls at 10 so he'll go straight to bed and wake around 4 then its really hard to get him back to sleep with the light morning after that. I would like his last bottle to be around the same time each day but dont know how to get it like that due to that middle of the night bottle not following the same time inbetween as his day ones. One day he'll do 10pm, 4am, 8am, 12, 4pm, 8pm. So then he'll go to bed at 10 and wake up at 2. So then the times change again. Not sure how to end up with an earlier bedtime either as we go to bed with him!

We've tried to do a routine but pretty with her feeding every couple of hours. I take her about 10 and give her her last bottle then she doesn't wake till about 6.30-7ish.
She started sleeping through about a week ago, spoke to health visitor about waking her for a feed in the night and she said not to, she's putting in weight fine. Hoping this sleeping through sticks, I doubt very much it will last for much longer 🤞

@kee80 oh wow thats amazing! How old is she now?

@melissa112 she's 8 weeks today. I've got a feeling this won't last very long though. She's got her injections tomorrow and got a feeling she may be up through the night. My friend said after her baby had hers she was up all night with her

I'm going crazy here. LO slept like 5x20minutes today. He's knackered and can't manage to latch on at all. I feel so bad for him

@kee80 fingers crossed it continues for you. We have our jabs too tomorrow. Are you giving calpol before? My HV told said to but not sure how long before. Ive got all my jobs done today so we can spend all day cuddling if we need to, his are at 9:15am.

@Sheeni that sounds really tough for you both. Wonder if the heat is having an effect? It feels so hot today and my little one is really unsettled too.

My health visitor told me to give before as well but didn't say how long before. Think I may give her some whilst in the waiting room.
Ours are not till 4.30 so thinking I may be in for a rough night with her.
She's been sleeping quite a lot today, I'm hoping it's the heat and not a cold coming on. My brother brought my nephew over Saturday and he's full of cold. I wish he had told me before turning up

@jenfur your husband sounds exactly like mine with the washing of plates instead of prioritising the pump!!!

@melissa112 we've got a baby Bjorn one and I used it today. I put a little cotton hat on his head and make sure he's got a long sleeved body suit on to cover him up from the sun. I also wear light clothing. He's been cranky recently but think it's due to the heat generally (I dread to think what he'd have been like if he were born last summer...!!) so I don't think it's sling related as he's not been in it too much. He's just really thirsty/hungry constantly.

I just gave him Calpol after the jabs rather than before, the nurse asked me if I had some for afterwards before she did it. I didn't know (until she told me) that you're not allowed to feed them for 30 mins after the oral drops, so that put a stop to my "feed him after we've been to the docs" plan!! @kee80 ours were at 4.20pm and my baby just slept the first night and then was crankier the second night with needing to feed every 90-120 mins which he hadn't done since around week 7.

@melissa112 It's our wedding anniversary as well. We kept saying "happy anniversary" to each other ironically all afternoon as the little bugger woke up from yet another catnap. I'm guessing it's the 8 week development leap as he's been very fixated on his hands.

I'm a bit down as he's still struggling to turn his head right. He's been like that since birth and we hoped cranial chiro will help, but they're struggling to release the tension, too, most likely due to his feeding being affected by his TT, so he had to work much harder for quite a long time. It's a vicious circle, feeding-wise, as he keeps unlatching to turn his head around the more comfortable way, especially when tired, like today. DH keeps asking how long do I want to continue breastfeeding, as he's finding it very frustrating to watch the LO struggle. I almost caved in today, but we managed to get a latch in the end 👍 but I don't think we'll last much longer 😕

@kee80 good luck today with the jabs! Hope little one has escaped the cold!

@cardboard33 did you put trousers/leggings on too or bare legs? Think we're going to use it this evening when DP is home from work. Oh yeh I would have struggled with a newborn in the height of summer last year, can't believe how hot it was but i reckon we're in for another hot one! I read on the NHS this morning actually about giving the calpol afterwards so think I'll do that. Oo didn't realise about not being able to feed, hopefully by the time i give him calpol, get him home and get bottle ready it will have been half an hour. He slept 7 hours last night for the first time but i think all that will be going out of the window!

@Sheeni ah yeh we noticed George was obsessed with his hands after that leap. Think he's towards the end of it now but has been really cranky and clingy the last week and cried loads when my friend tried to hold him yesterday but was fine with me so think we've been going through it too. That's a shame about the head turning, do they know what has caused it at birth? George has a lump in his neck from birth, it was a tear in his neck muscle that caused a small bleed and i know it can cause them to not want to turn their head a certain way. Thankfully he's been fine and lump is almost gone now but could have been something similar but without the big lump maybe? You've done amazing to do so long breast feeding

We're really struggling with what to dress baby in at night with the heat. Gro bag temp guide says 20-22 is 1 tog and either short sleeved or long sleeved body suit and 22-24 is 1 tog and either short sleeved or sleeveless body suit. So it was 23.8 last night when we went to bed, windows open and door open for a cross breeze and we had him in a short sleeved vest and 1 tog sleeping bag. Throughout the night the temperature kept dropping slowly and when he woke at 5ish it was 19.8 so technically should have been in a 2.5 tog or at least long sleeved body suit so felt guilty but he seemed comfortable and didn't feel cold. Dreading mid summer when temps may hit 30 as our bedroom is a sun trap and really doesn't cool down much! Dont know if its worth getting any 0.5 or 0.2 (!) sleeping bags or whether by that point he'd just sleep in a vest or something. I worry a lot about SIDS

@melissa112 thank you and good luck to you too hope George is ok with them.
Great you got 7 hours we did too!
I had baby in a sleep suit no vest and a 1 tog grow bag. Our room was around 21-22 when we went to bed. I was worried about putting her in just a vest as the 1 tog feels really thin

@kee80 thank you. All went ok, well as can be. He did do a horrible cry just afterwards but nothing too major apart from when the injections went in. Nurse said midwives and HV advise giving calpol before even though NHS says after? Don't think it matters too much but i gave it before in the end. He's really sleepy now though and fell asleep while i was carrying him back into the house. He's due a bottle about half 10ish and is asleep on me. Not sure whether i wake him for it or let him sleep it off. Thinking about just letting him sleep as he'd been awake for ages before his jabs and i guess he'll wake if he's hungry.

Yeh the 1 tog does seem thin i agree, wonder what the 0.2 is like! I kept feeling his chest and he seemed warm but not too warm, we normally do a long sleeved vest but before we went up it was 24.8 up there and 'cooled' to 23.8 when we opened windows. Think today seems warmer already!

@melissa112 glad it went well as can be. Think I will give the calpol just before then. Yeah I'd let him sleep it off, of you wake him he make be a little grumpy. Like you said sure he'll wake when he's hungry bless him.

She did feel quite warm this morning when she woke up, not sure if that was cos she was snuggled up to me. Think I will just put her in a long sleeved vest tonight depending what room temperature is. Your right it does feel warmer today

Our room is such a hot box! We’re just in a thin sleepsuit and swaddle (blanket if chilly) or if really warm shortsleeved and swaddle.

Struggling to work out what A’s doing at the moment as I imagine she is. We’re 7 and half weeks and I’m trying to start getting her used to the idea of a routine. Bath and book. Rather than dropping the night feed she wants to drop the 10.30/11 which I suppose would be the dreamfeed. Attempted that last night but she then woke up every hour. If I leave her she wets through her nappy. Still pretty much feeding on demand but really struggling to work out at night whether she’s just awake or hungry, especially as she’s swaddled so she’s can’t put her hand in her mouth and I can’t really see her face! I don’t want to leave her too long when I know she’s wakeful, it would be different if she was sound asleep and I don’t want her screaming for it either.

DH and I had a ding dong last week as both super tired. He just had nothing left in the tank but said some pretty stupid things, has since apologised and we’re back to being a team and generous with naps and tasks! I’m a bit annoyed at how long he’s working for him as much as anything.

Saw a post on FB today ‘your kids don’t need a perfect Mom, they need a happy one’. Good thought!

On the subject of partners not being as helpful as they could be, I have to say for the first time today the shoe was on the other foot for me. I was looking after both boys this morning while DH was at work (as well as grandma in law while my PILs were out for the day!!!) and I couldn't find things I needed for DS1... because for the first time in his nearly three years of life, I haven't been his main carer and therefore don't know where his things have been put. It was an eye opener for me - I groan at DH on a daily basis for not knowing where things are, but now I know how it feels! (Although I still reserve the right to get cross when he asks me where HIS wallet is!!!!)

@Jenfur thank you. Yes I had an awful first few weeks and it such a relief to feel not only that I'm coping now, but that I am actually extremely happy and contented - happier than I can remember being in years, actually! I was so worried that I had PND because all the materials say that those feelings should only last a couple of weeks, but mine really did just magically lift around the 6/7 week mark. Phew.

@kee80 @melissa112 glad the jabs went well. We had ours Monday and J was fine - quite sleepy and rather hot, but he had Calpol. I bought a decent ear thermometer before he was born and it was reassuring to be able to check his temperature. The one we had for DS1 was an under armpit one which took FOREVER to settle on a temperature - while you are trying to clamp a hot, wriggly, poorly baby's arm over it! Totally unfit for purpose!

@Sheeni sorry about the sleeping and the feeding. Sympathies. If you need to bottle feed then do not feel bad about it!

I've had a badly cracked nipple for five or six weeks now. I've been using breast angels silver nipple cups for the last few days - I have dubbed them 'robot nips' - and I (tentatively) think they are improving the situation - the crack is still not great but it's half the size it was, and is no longer painful. They seemed extortionate at £40 but if they work then I will think they were cheap!

@cardboard33 I wasn't told that about feeding and the rotavirus vaccine! Luckily I didn't feed him that soon!

@Gronk27 glad your DH has apologised. It's so bloody hard maintaining a cheerful relationship whilst sleep deprived! I have been up since 4am and I am super ratty - unfortunately DS1 has chosen today to be super bratty! Not a good combo for cheerfulness! Luckily DH has come home from work early (he had a half day) and has taken both boys out for a walk, leaving me to catch up on sleep (and MN - ahem!).
Love the FB quote. Worth writing on a post it note and sticking somewhere obvious!

@badbadbeans it really is and I do try to lead by example by being generous and cheerful and thoughtful, etc. He basically always thinks I can sleep in the day whilst the baby is with me but he said ‘how can I look after her and sleep’ when I needed to go and buy formula and nappies(!) for example. Like you say you then would like to have sometime to look at your phone or wash, even and I can’t just magically sleep if I’m not sleepy either!