February 2019 babies - thread 2

[Celebelly]

New thread, ladies!

Whoops didn’t take you properly @powkin

Oh. My. God......tag....I didn’t tag you properly @powkin! I’m seriously struggling with a baby that won’t sleep more than an hour overnight and working full time

@bubblybrit - well at least she rolls! DD only likes to roll on her change mat and in bed and won’t do it anywhere else! She keeps coughing and doing little cries tonight it’s horrible. I’m very fed up of having it too, I’m at that awful nose-like-a-tap stage, cannot wait for the cough!

@powkin. Ah that sounds miserable. DD has a blocked nose at present so struggling to breathe. Yet another thing to keep her awake 😬!

@detatchablehoof I was so ill during pregnancy ive decided no more for me. As if i was that ill again, which is very likely. It wouldnt be fair on DD. I was advised to wait 4years by the surgeon who did my crash section as well. So who knows by then i may have rose tinted glasses and of forgotten 🤣 i was bed bound for the whole 36wks pretty much bar hospital appointments. It was hard but I coped. Few days into social distancing due to thos corona virus and im clawing at walls with a hyper toddler. I know it would be so much harder the 2nd time around for that reason. It just wouldnt be fair.

Anyone else have a toddler whos a climber, hyperactive and seem to be 100 mph from moment their eyes open 🙈🤣

@bubblybrit I wouldnt worry. A friend of mine just hit the 18m bench mark they refer for not crawling to paeds. Just to check things over. Anyways she was so worried as he just didnt really move. Waiting lists meant she had bit of wait for appointment. Of course he decided the day before to not just take a step. But run across the room. He just skipped crawling all together. Got up started running. And not stopped since! Apparently its not unheard of to just go straight to walking.

Hey all. Nice to hear from you. We are in strange times indeed: hope all of you are keeping well.

All ok here but dreading how I'm going to entertain a 5 year old and a 1 year old for the next however long! Everything I try to do with elder DS (drawing, Lego, puzzles) Max tries to destroy! We have had to put the travel cot in the lounge with loads of toys in so that we can restrain him somehow. My eldest calls it baby jail!

Max is still heavy (about 13.5 kg so similar to Erin @powkin) he crawls at supersonic speed though and does take a couple of steps. Thankfully his awful sleep has got much better.

Really gutted that the boys are not going to be able to see grandparents for such a long period. My parents are in their 70s and dad has heart problems. We've been trying to FaceTime them but my dad got really teary on their the other day and had to leave the room.

I'm currently on a career break from the police and dreading a phone call telling me they are recalling me. We had pretty much decided that I probably wouldn't go back anyway so not sure what would happen.

@maxiflump1 - aww your poor dad (and all of you). We were seeing my DMIL every 3-4 weeks and she’s massively sulking at DH telling her not to come (she’s 72, lives alone FFS and travels by train/across London to get to ours FFS!). luckily my mum has been recently but I only see her/my dad every 2 months or so and now they can’t come so are sad. HOWEVER I’m wary of FaceTime. Erin has started having some epic tears/screaming when we take things away and she LOVES holding my phone. I let her hold it to listen nursery rhymes (she occasionally switches the screen on) and to play telephone together, but now she’s getting a right madam with it and wants it whenever she sees it. FaceTime = phone = tantrums. She was actually ok with my sister earlier but then my DF was guilt tripping me into FaceTiming my DM but had to say no. I think once a day maximum, so even Erin is being rationed!

We did a big shop so are ok food wise for now but have no chance in hell of getting another online shop! It’s carnage online. Glad we have a milkman for milk and bread and yoghurt at least.

I’m a keyworker so can take Erin to the childminder but husband is worried about risk (other parents are keyworkers too but don’t know what they do - I’m just working at home). It’s tough because I need a break to help me manage my depression/anxiety and talking to people about suicide whilst a toddler screams in the background isn’t ideal. She hates being at home and loves other children more than anything so on balance I think it is worth the risk for her development and my sanity and our livelihood. We are trying to apply for universal credit until they announce help for freelancers (fuck all so far) but it’s a nightmare and DH has a very low threshold for forms :(

Strange times indeed. We're really struggling with being home 24/7. I'm honestly worried about the long term impact of all this on society - my mental health has really suffered. And I'm lucky in that I have a big house and garden, husband WFH and no (immediate!) financial worries. Can't imagine what it would be like for those who have found themselves with no income and those who are in cramped conditions.

Really hoping that the restrictions will be lifted in a fortnight but it doesn't sound likely does it!

Probably just all the upheaval but my little girl has decided she doesn't like going to sleep any more. She always used to be so good at settling herself but the last two nights she has refused to go to sleep. On the first night eventually my husband took her for a walk at 10pm (his first that day I may add!!) which settled her off. Last night we had to get her out of her cot as she screamed til she was sick then we tried her in her pushchair but she still wouldn't go to sleep. Eventually we put her in her cot again and left her to cry. I felt so awful but honestly what else could we do???? After almost an hour (!!) she went to sleep. This morning she woke at her usual time and I discovered she had a dirty nappy and awful nappy rash from being dirty all night. Needless to say I feel like an absolutely horrible mum. Really don't want to get into any bad sleep habits though (I know from experience how bad that is for my MH). This afternoon she protested for 15 minutes before falling asleep, so hopefully the hour of howling last night wasn't wasted....

Hope you are all staying well! Hard times!

Hope everyones staying safe here and well.

Strange times indeed.

We are on 12wk isolation here. We have already been in for nearly 2wks. So just keep counting down the weeks. But small price to pay to stay healthy and safe.

I am glad in a way it is just the baby and I though. We can just hide away in our own little bubble and do our own thing.

Also thankful for the garden.

I say baby she is very much a hyperactive whirl wind of a toddler now. Tantrums and all 🤣

@detachablehoof mental health self care is so important. Do what you have to do 😊

My anixity has been through the roof this week. I have found keeping as busy as possible and having a structure to the day has helped pass the time and distract me.

Sending some positive vibes your way

Hope everyone is surviving. Read something insufferable in the guardian from position of white male privilege about enjoying every moment (his wife getting up doing all the night feeds) and although some great comments there’s the usual “how dare people find it hard they wanted kids now they resent them” crowd and the “parenting is the easiest thing I’ve ever done” cried (ALWAYS amen). Do fuck the fuck off. I miss the help and support of my childminder with her advice and reassurance and love for my DD, my parents, my baby group, the children’s centre. I even miss my MIL. It’s so so so exhausting and stressful when you don’t have a job that is easy to do at home and you have money worries too (not to forget physically exhausting with a huge baby that doesn’t walk independently!). The non stop cooking, cleaning, cajoling, the emerging teeth (3 fucking molars) and tantrums when she sees a phone or laptop or is hangry and not the centre of attention during cooking or trying to get anything done...

I’ve had 3 or 4 good days but I’ve also been to the absolute out of despair.

Anyway rant over. Thinking of you all.

Pit not out....

@powkin that truly made me laugh out loud. The ones that put a front on are probably suffering more than they let on!!!!

And breathe!

Open the vino 🤣

@BabyG123 - I know I need to step away from the comments sections! I will be opening the gin at approximately 7.30pm...

I'm meant to be on all day zoom training today which is basically impossible with DD around, so as a small act of fuck you to the organisers I had the video on so everyone could watch me clean the whole kitchen and fold her laundry.

Haha that's the way to do it!

Is it a step too far to get a water bottle and add gin so work think you're on the water but really you're slowly getting shit faced 🤷🏻‍♀️

@BabyG123 - I found a half measure during the nap can take the edge off...

How's everyone getting on?! I hope everyone is surviving lockdown etc. OK.

Baby (Toddler!) E is now properly walking and has been for a little while. We are starting to get tantrums though and she's developing quite a little attitude! Not a huge amount of words yet, but she's got a lot of signs. She was meant to start nursery this month but obviously that hasn't happened so no idea when she'll be going.

Off to catch up with the last few months of posts! I lost this thread for a while but have found it again!

@powkin How are you getting on? It's so bloody draining this whole thing. We were usually out at something every day, even if just a trip to the library or coffee with a friend, but obviously we haven't been able to do that and sometimes it feels like Groundhog Day. I feel bad that I'm not providing hours of stimulating crafts and education, but I honestly don't have the energy with juggling looking after E and work. She seems happy enough, but I do struggle some days and it feels a bit relentless, especially when E is having a grouchy day. I'm certainly no Mary Poppins right now.

@Notquiteagandt How are you two doing? Are you still shielding? That must be an extra level of struggle!

@detachablehoof Darn sleep terrorists! I'm one to talk, though. E has been sleeping in with me since she had a bad cold pre-lockdown and we've kind of got used to it. I'll need to shunt her back to her own bed at some point, but I'm scared to change anything as she sleeps all night! And I do like the cuddles. But sometimes I do feel a bit touched out. I hope it was just a one-off for you!

@bubblybrit How's little Anna doing? Is she up and walking yet? Emma was late to crawling but fairly average with walking!

@Celebelly - hi! Was thinking of you all. Been up and down, I won’t lie. Proud of how well I’ve coped over all but definitely still struggling with a short fuse when I’m tired. I’m learning what my triggers are though and asking DH to step in to take over when I need support more.

DD is very feisty, no less demanding than she’s been from day one! She just loves company and it’s hard to find activities that stimulate her for long, she’s much more interested in people than things. She’s been back with the childminder 3 days a week for just over 2 weeks now, I’m very glad of the time to myself (when not working) but also makes it hard to get back to the full childcare days when I’ve had 2 days “off” in a row IYSWIM. I’m pretty sure I had coronavirus in January (taken to hospital in ambulance with fever of 39.5) so she must have had it too.

DD isn’t walking on her own yet, and finally learned to crawl a few months ago! she needs the lightest of touches but if you let go she sits down! I’m exhausted from having to always be there but know it’ll be just different stress when she can walk! She’s figured out how to climb the 4 stairs from our kitchen to our living room though SO THAT’S GREAT! We haven’t got stair gates yet and I don’t really know where to put them. Our downstairs is completely open plan except these 4 super steep steps to a stone floored kitchen so it’s stressful, and she is obsessed with opening and closing what doors we do have, one day she’s going manage to really hurt herself before I can get to her!

We’ve tried weaning off the night bottle for her teeth but that was a disaster so we’ve admitted defeat for a bit.

DD can say up, out, cat (and meow), yes and no, bye bye, nom nom, sort of dog and duck and does a little granny hand when she wants you to come to her (or just screams). There wasn’t any baby sign classes near us so feel like I’ve let her down a bit when I see other babies doing it.

I don’t usually miss my family much but I miss their practical help, they are all 300 miles away so don’t know when we’ll see any of them.

Hi 👋 @Celebelly. Nice to hear from you! Anna is crawling now as well as standing up quite a bit. She can walk whilst holding on to the furniture (or me!) but she isn’t confident enough to let go yet. I think she will be walking soon though as she is so close. I can’t believe that the little ones are all toddlers now. Eek!

Glad to hear that Emma is doing well. Anna isn’t saying a lot of words yet either but you certainly know when she isn’t happy 😃!

Oh wow, she's doing super well with her words. Emma can say a few but they're all variations on B and D (one of them is Duggee ). She can also say the dog's name and her favourite word is bubbles! She just started trying to say cheese today, which is more like 'dzhhhhee'

She showed zero interest in walking and then within the space of a week had gone from barely standing on her own to walking, it was really weird! She's properly charging about now but it has made our house even more of a death trap! I hear you on the stair gate thing. We put one up at the bottom of our awkward stairs as she keeps climbing up if she's left for even a second, and she's figured out how to push her way underneath it so we need to find a new solution for that! Walking brings a whole new dimension to stuff!

We haven't seen family at all either as they are about 120 miles away and we are in Scotland, which has been slower to relax things too. We've been quite isolated but we are introverts generally and have weathered it OK, but I really want to see my mum and she is desperate to see Emma!

@bubblybrit So exciting! I think it's totally a confidence thing so it won't be long before she's racing about! I was amazed how quickly Emma picked it up once she took her first steps. A couple of months later and she's trying to run now 😱

@Celebelly. Anna took ages to crawl and then it just seemed to click overnight and now there is no stopping her. Hoping it’s the same with her walking. I think she’s at a brilliant age. So much fun and her little personality just shines through!

@Celebelly I say she can say these things up I doubt many are understandable to others! Maybe just up and meow! She struggles with C words and most things that start with a D sound the same. She has a toy octopus and trying to get her to say that is so funny. Oct-da-der or just three random noises 😂

Today has been absolutely awful, first time in forever that she simply refused to nap. Hoping we got the timing wrong and then the poo she did woke her up properly and tomorrow will be fine but now shitting myself about a regression. She was falling asleep in her dinner at 5.50 and was asleep by 6.15 (usually 7.15/30) and has woken up a few times but seems to be more soundly asleep now. I don’t know if it’s teeth and her determination to walk too - she’s SO close. She dropped all her naps super early so thinking maybe early regression, urgh.

I really couldn’t cope at all without that nap, I’m totally reliant on it and was horrendous company for the rest of the day. I’m so anxious about how to manage things and get paralysed with “I don’t know-it is”. I hate feeling like I haven’t really got over my anxiety and parenting issues and that it’s only 2 hours sleep between me and despair. I know these aren’t normal times so need to be reasonable with myself but still not nice to cope so badly.

I’m really not enjoying my work at the moment and am going to take a few days off again in a few weeks to get a bit more space. I wish I could leave as I’m starting my dream placement for my uni course in September so will have ever more on my plate (and won’t be getting paid for that!) but we can’t afford it, and not many places want someone 2 days a week who requires insane levels of flexibility :( The pay is so crap which makes the stress of it so much more galling.

Grandparents all missing E so much - my MIL lives on her own and used to come every 2-4 weeks for the day so she’s been feeling quite bereft. My DM would come here for a week at a time (not staying in the house thank god) and help with cleaning and ironing. I miss that so much. I find my sister’s extrovert energy really irritating and overwhelming but E seems to like it and it sort of gave me a break (except having to listen to my sister, I won’t leave her alone with E for more than a few minutes).

I bought a staircase on eBay and apparently it won’t work for our space (not sure I trust my husband who is hopeless at DIY!), and he says the one the last people left also won’t work, even though it used to be installed! I want to teach her how to go up and down on her bum/backwards but we are a way off that I think, right now she tries to go down like a seal down a slide... she has a death wish!

Has anyone else hit the 18 month sleep regression. I’m in tears every night at the moment, I honestly don’t know how to handle this. She sounds like she’s being tortured or abused when we try and put her down, I feel like a monster. She’s just thrown up everywhere with anxiety. My husband has had to do most of it because I get so upset.