Mugabe Nights: sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your (sleep deprived) pain!

[mzzzf]

New thread ladies!
Buenos are still free, the bar tab is still open and you can leave your healthy living resolutions at the door!

Meant to say dozy I think everyone feels like that sometimes. This is the only job where you don't get time off for illness or even a lunch hour! But it's the best. I quite often think about a day out alone but then miss him so much anyway when I do! I think you're amazing for getting to six months bf - it just didn't work for us at all. It's so hard.

Have got DH a moleskin travel journal for v day and a single red rose :)

Anyone know if there's a six month sleep regression?!!

Thank you for the welcome everyone :) I will try and join in, but I've never posted as I was a bit out of it when I first stated reading and then by the time I was more with it I thought I'd find it hard to keep up as I tend to binge read every few weeks or so during night feeds!

I do love though how you just all tell it how it is; you all share the good AND the hard parents of being a mum. My 'real life' mum friends just turn everything into a competition (I.e, "Oh your DD slept 4 hours straight? That's nice. My DD slept for 13 hours and I had to wake her up to get her here on time. I had 11 hours sleep myself, maybe it was almost too much. I've never had so much sleep in my life" . So it's been reassuring to know that my DD isn't broken cos she doesn't sleep through, feeds to sleep etc etc!

crafty I'm starting to think it's the ones that sleep that are broken
So....pram arrived! Nathan was fast asleep until 2 minutes ago when he decided he was hungry.

crafty you have friends like that too, huh? My ante natal group all have perfect sleepers. And one of my pre baby friends basically told me off for ruining DS if I didn't do sleep training, saying that he would never sleep properly if I didn't, sending the anxiety monkeys fluttering all over the place. But she's also a (whisper it) a gina ford advocate, which has worked great for her kids, but it's just not my style. I saw her today and just lied my arse off when she asked about sleeping "oh yeah, it's fine" . So I'm very grateful to the group here who seem a bit more real life than some of the people I know in actual real life! Just cos it's online doesn't make it not real though, hey? And yes, change is a constant, and as long as I feel the shit bits aren't forever, I can deal with them.

clstow re the longer naps, DS only ever does 40 mins, except sometimes if he's wearing his magic badger jumper of sleep - basically if he's really toasty warm he sometimes just rolls over and does another 40.

Frolic Having a sidecar crib and feeding lying down are the only reasons I'm still alive, means we don't need to wake up fully to feed and can go back to sleep quicker.

ruby I felt exactly the same. But things are gradually improving, and I'm dealing with the crap things with a bit less drama now.

I'm leaving DS with DH tomorrow for a few hours to go to a music festival - only the daytime bit but still feels like quite an adventure! Quite nervous as I've only been away from him for 2 hours so far. Been furiously pumping milk. My nips are ragged!

See, I was going to post about my crap afternoon with a grumpy grizzly boy. But, he's just self settled to sleep beautifully, so I'll tell you about that instead. You win some, you lose some.

I hope you got to your nail appt safely loves. I hate driving on snow.

Of course you can join in ruby 🙂

Did you get squishy newborn cuddles Clstow? I'm jealous if you did.

Bf'ing lying down didn't work for us at all in the early months tindel. Huge norks to blame I think. Hopefully it will allow me a few extra zzzz's.

I hope you're both feeling better magrat. No idea about 6 month sleep regression - we are still not back to where we were before the 4 month one!

Keep posting penguin. Those bitches don't sound like friends to me 😉

Nice pram fatty.

We have orders a cot from ikea to make a co sleeper effin. Ds has been in the bed with me since about 3 weeks old, so the cot should give him his own little space, but allow dh back in with us while still making for easy feeding.
Enjoy yourself tomorrow. I've barely left Ds yet either. Definitely something I plan on working on soon.

crafty don't worry about keeping up. Just pop along and tell us all that's going on. Sorry to hear you don't have mums you can chat to in real life. It can be hard. My DS is very much swimming in the slow lane of our NCT group when comes to sleeping but everything can change. And am sure at some point he'll take to something that the other babies/kids don't. 4 hours is GREAT sleep btw. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I always love it when DS manages 4 hours not that he has for bloody weeks

fatty the pram is looking good.

effin I hate to say it but I sometimes lie about DS sleep too and about us co sleeping as I get a bit fed up of people constantly trying to tell me what I must be doing wrong helpful advice.

Ps magrat am all about the ikea!!

Magrat there is a growth spurt at 6 months so could be that? Hopefully short lived for you.

Luckily some of my mummy friends also have bad sleeping babies (although mine did take the cake for a while there!!) so we could vent. You definitely aren't alone, I think it's actually unusual for babies to sleep well at this age-our babies are normal!

Effin we also only get 40min naps (unless I walk for miles with him in the baby carrier). I'm very much looking forward to him one day doing longer ones so I can have a proper break myself in the day...I've heard they sometimes extend around 6 months so let's hope so..

Frolic well done on the self settling-amazing! You definitely have to just celebrate the good parts of the day and forget the bad parts

Agree to 4hrs sleep being amazing!

Hello!

Dozy, it is all hard and relentless now but it does get easier. I won't say easy as there is always something to worry about. But although my 3yo DD can be hard work in terms of wilfulness and tantrums, she can also be very cute and funny. And she sleeps all night!!!

Magrat, no no no to six month regression. Things can. Not. Get. Any. Worse. Here!!

Welcome crafty. I'd say we probably share more of the bad than the good, or maybe that is just me!

Fatty, nice pram! I bought mine second hand. Even so was still a splurge! First time bought one for £25 on eBay and sold for the same. This time a second hand Bugaboo Bee. It is nice, but I wouldn't say amazing. But really wanted the buggy board which came with it, as you can get an optional seat! My DD is so lazy with walking I just didn't think she'd stand for that long. She loves her little seat and makes quick trips to town bearable!

Effin, was it you asking about sleep training? I'm planning on using a Technique from a book called baby sleeping trust techniques. It is a short book which details five methods as alternatives to controlled crying and cry it out. Some are very gentle and take months. Others a it more intensive. We've decided to try an intensive one called peekaboo baby. She reckons it is very unusual for it to take longer than a week. Basically you settle baby and leave the room. As son as they start to cry you go back and in and resettle, but without picking them up (will see about that bit!). Once not crying leave again. The notion is you never leave them to cry alone and they should only be crying as they are not getting what they are used to. But because there is some crying the author says not to attempt before 6 months. All of the techniques she recommends only after 5 months. There are other methods with moving chairs away slowly until out of the door, etc. I bought the book and am trying that method because I know someone else who has a similar parenting ethos who used it. She met with the author and was able to talk it through with her. Next weekend my parents will have Dd and we will give it a go. With my DD things did actually get better by themselves but she was on bottles from 3 months and took a dummy. This made it eAsier for her to self settle and I just started sitting in her room while she got herself off to sleep.

Jealous of those of you getting out and about doing your own thing! I've not left DS yet apart from 2.5 hours to go to Xmas meal! Hoping to start taking add to swimming lessons so that will be a nice little break and some time for us.

Frolic, good work on self settling!!

Kbro, Aiden/Aidan non sleeping fist bump to you.

Does anyone else have a reluctant weaner? DS is just not into purees at all. Started DD around the same time and she loved food. He did chomp on some homemade pizza tonight, but think that was more about teething. Not sure he ate any.

In other news both bottom front teeth are through the gum now, but he is still getting red cheeks and unsettled, so either still painful or there are mor coming (sob).

Oh and re sleep training I'm not night weaning. She said to pick times you are willing to feed after and say a different phrase that time and go ahead and feed, but use the same technique to get to sleep afterwards. So I'll keep a 10pm feed plus two others until DS is more established on solids. If all goes well, two night feeds are a vast improvement on hourly!

I'm very honest about sleep etc. With dd1 everyone I knew irl made me feel like crap because their bairns slept (just give a bottle) and their bairns ate (oh I can't feed him/her enough incidentally did you know weaning makes them sleep?) In fact every single thing about my experience last time was so appalling I'm super passionate about reassuring other people that there's nothing wrong. Probably it's equally insufferable and annoying. Hey ho.

Having a serious wobble about the breastfeeding photo shoot. What was I thinking?! Who in their right mind wants to see all my pallid grossness?! Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

No toddler friendly exercise classes here. What a good idea. I wish someone would start. As it is it's a 30 mile round trip to go to Pilates and that's the closest thing. Even carving out 30 minutes for a run would be nice! Bugger me if Dh doesn't half let me know how awesome he is for enabling me going to pilates!

Oh I am happy to see so many posts from today! I've barely kept up the the Facebook group I'm finding trying to put online names to real names to faces very confusing!!

Dozy- you are not a crap mum! I think we all have good and bad days/periods, personally I found the first few months so overwhelming and exhausting what with the no sleep, Velcro baby and the raging emotional hormones I used to sob hysterically over the most trivial things so now I am finding things much better. However I do still doubt myself a lot, the current anxiety monkeys are that I spend too much time putting DS in his junperoo/ bumbo/ high chair/ on playmat so I can clean up after meals/ brush the floor/ put on some laundry etc etc I feel like he's oolong at me like 'come play and cuddle me mummy leave all that, am I not that important' even though he is usually quite happy playing and I am constantly taking to him! He has a couple of times lately cried when I've left him/ I've not been there so I suppose that's in a backwards way a good thing as he obviously likes me the most right? God that sounds awful doesn't it!!!

I can walk much better today thankyou ladies, still a bit stiff but heels are on the floor thank god as I've got another bank shift tommorrow- worrying more about this one weirdly I think it's because this unit is non uniformed so I can't pretend I know what I'm doing behind that if that makes any form of sense! Got a shadow day at my proper job on Tuesday- wow how has that crept up on me, only 2 weeks till I'm back properly! I can feel a major emotional breakdown coming on one day pretty soon because I'm very aware I'm doing my usual 'stay so busy I don't get a second to think about the issue' thing and it will no doubt come rearing up soon 😔 thank god ill have you mugabeans when it does!

Ruby welcome back I recognise your name from last time you popped in!

Is there only me and DH that don't do valentines because it's 'a comercislly created day to make money' God we're romantic aren't we, suprised we managed to even conceive! Hahaha!

DS has today taken 6oz of milk at 5am then half an oz at 1030, 2oz at 1430 and 2.5oz before bed!!! What the hell!!! He did however demolish porridge with pears for breakfast, a massive tub of chicken, peas and kale which I sneaked some formula into and 8 raspberries at lunch then a fair whack of chilli and a load of Greek yogurt and prunes at tea. I'm worried although I know weaning insanity dropping milk but he's done this in a day pretty much! Hoping he'll take more at dream feed and tomorrow's early one at least that way he's has a decent amount in 24 hours- anyone think that's it now and he's more into food or could it be as he's full of a cold eating solids is easier than milk with a snotty nose? Wet nappies have been much less today too- oh shit I've got a right dose of the monkeys tonight haven't I!!?!!??

Joksar- don't worry about the photo shoot- these are so much more graphic than what I imagine yours will be and yet still pretty damn amazing no? Although the last one- the foot 😱

www.boredpanda.com/professional-birth-photography-competition-winners-labor-delivery-postpartum/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=BPFacebook

joskar I'm sure your photos will be amazing.
lily babies around 5/6 months can get really clingy. They start to notice that you are leaving them and they panic, whereas before it was more "meh, I'm fine, I don't care about anyone else"
So yeah, in a nutshell it's because he likes you that he cries.
As for the food, it could be he's stuffed himself on solids so doesn't really want his bottles, or it could be the cold and being bunged up. If he is eating so much solid food and still taking some of his bottle I really wouldn't worry about it. He will probably have loads at his dream feed, or first thing in the morning as he won't have solids overnight. Obviously if you feel he's not feeding enough, and youre worried, go with your gut and speak to gp/hv. You know your baby best. And it will at the very least put your mind at rest a bit.

Evening all!

joskar am sure you will look amazing in your photos, banish the fear

lily ha! You could have been describing my current anxieties at the moment. I keep thinking that I did so much more with grumpy 1 and instead grumpy 2 gets abandoned places loads while I sort shit out. Even though she is clearly happy and content playing with her toys I worry that I'm not engaging with her enough - gah! It's so hard isn't it???

frolic exciting news about your cot purchasing, will you still use the sleepyhead in the cot do you think or go for a wholesale change? Nice for Mr Frolic to get to 'enjoy' nighttime with you both again too !

To all those with 'friends' or NCT groups with delightful babies consider this. 1) They are almost certainly embellishing the truth and 2) if not they'll get theirs somewhere down the line anyway. Just wave and smile at them when you see them wrestling their screaming, frothing two year old out of Tesco in the not-too-distant future!!

fatty good work on the new wheels, have you taken them out yet?

Re: sleep training, we've never done any here at the dwarf house but then neither girl has been a truly horrendous sleeper. I'd never judge anyone for giving anything a whirl in the pursuit of 💤. Having said all that I am definitely in the continental frame of mind of leaving a bit of grumbling before marching in to 'fix' the problem.

Night, night all

So many posts...how do you all reply, my memory is so bad now. Have already forgotten who said what

joskar I think you're really brave to do it! I would love to have the confidence but I'm still self concious about feeding out and about and almost always hurry back to the car if DS needs a feed.

lily glad you're feeling better today. I know I will be an emotional mess when I have to go back to work but I do miss the people feel a bit lonely at home sometimes.

rrra managed to leave DS for 4 hours tonight He's normally pretty cranky from 7pm but DP took him for a drive and got him off to sleep, he even managed to transfer him to bed so was pretty pleased with himself!

kbro79 I don't really tell anyone in rl that I co sleep or that I feed DS to sleep.

Love this thread as I think you get the true picture, in rl I try to avoid any baby groups as it does seem like a competition... my baby sleeps from 7 till 7, never wakes and has never seen a chocolate button. Much happier pottering around with DS at home. Went for a lovely walk today, first time I've managed DS and the dog

Happy weekend everyone!

slow yeah, we went shopping to buy a few bits and bobs for over the weekend. He loves the pram. Hates shopping! DD decided that for the first time ever she wanted to go in the pram...she basically wanted to test out the new wheels! But the buggy board isnt arriving until next week. Luckily I still have her old single so I phoned DP and made him come with me

and has never seen a chocolate button

DS2 has practically been weaned on them thanks to DD. He gets all sorts shoved into his hands/mouth from her. If I told that to people IRL they'd have a heart attack because God forbid a child under the age of 10 should have sugar!

fatty DS2 has had a few purees but also doing some baby led which involves him grabbing any biscuit I try to put in my mouth and clinging on for dear life. I swear he swallowed half a chocolate chip cookie

lily we don't do Valentines day either. Neither of us are particularly romantic - in 12 years, DH has bought me flowers twice and that's fine with me. We are supposed to be going out on Sunday, but that's pure coincidence (seeing a comedian). It means we're not going for a meal to avoid the Valentines stuff. That, and I'm feeling really apprehensive about leaving J. SIL is looking after him and I'm dreading him not settling for her.

slow my mantra when people tell me about their amazing sleeping / non crying babies is that they will be vile toddlers

Is anyone else losing baby skills they once had? I'm sure I used to be able to put J down after a night feed and he settled easily. Lately, he just wakes up and whinges, so I end up picking him up again and feeding more. He's also started pinching me when he feeds, which really hurts!

Fingers crossed he goes down after this feed - can't face the day starting this early!

Good morning! So happy it's the weekend.

Rrra DS wasn't too keen on purées for a while but suddenly has decided that food is the best thing ever. So just keep trying, at this stage it doesn't matter if they don't really take in much food anyway. We've had our first 2 teeth arrive too-hope they settle down for him soon

Joskar sounds like a wonderful photo shoot and you'll have such special photos to look back on for years-just go in there confident even if you don't feel it and have fun 😀

Lily I think it's a good thing to get babies used to playing on their own-I actively encourage it!! (But maybe that's because I have a Velcro baby haha) Good luck with your day back at work-enjoy being your old self again! Of course he likes you best but I know what you mean about being a little bit relieved-when I've left DS for short periods he's so happy when I come back which does make me feel good!!

Tindel I hope you got a little more sleep. We've been up early again but bedtime is 7pm-thinking of making bedtime later so we aren't up so early but not sure if he would still wake at 5am anyway!!

Coconut oil don't worry I'm rubbish at keeping track and then I feel mega guilty because everyone else replies to my messages.

Loves I want some snow hehe. Although I hate driving on it but I just love it. Only a week on Wednesday till I go to Switzerland anyway so at least I'll get some snow then. It's never as exciting though because it's normal there so doesn't have the same feeling about it.

Thanks mugabeans for the reassurance. I've had another night away from her for this ball so I'm hoping when I see her today that I feel a bit better. Last time all the anxiety came flooding back but hopefully not this time.

I feel really lucky that I made 3 lovely mummy friends at bf group. We've all really bonded and no one is a Billy bullshitter about how amazing their baby is. We meet up regularly and turn send each other a million messages every day too. We went one day without speaking once and it felt like it had been ages! I remember pre baby I said I wasn't going to make any new friends because i do have a lot of friends and I find it hard to catch up with everyone already but obviously these mummy friends are all going through the same thing as me at the same time so it's invaluable really.

Bf wise she's been latching on OK at certain times and rubbish at others so I'm going to preserve for now. I've done a week without nipple shields and I haven't gotten sore whoohoo. And she had her first spluttering on all my milk because she was getting so much. She's never done that before. I felt proud. I really don't want to stop because she's already so aware of what my boobies are and grabs my top and launches herself at them so I'd feel sad if she couldn't get anything from them because I've stopped.

Good lord lily that last photo! But yes jokstar it will be a beautiful photo am sure. I keep contemplating getting one done too. Not sure if indulgent to pay for one though esp on mat pay.

The mums am friends with don't really turn it into a completion so much as give endless advice which gets a bit exhausting - a lot of people insist it is cause he is breast fed but I've tried a bottle before bed and it makes no difference but doesn't stop them insisting it will. If only was that simple. There also quite strict routine people whereas I am totally disorganised more go with the flow and they seem to think that's why DS doesn't sleep. But I don't think it would help and just make me miserable.

dozy pleased you've had a good week on the breast feeding. Well done!

tindel enjoy your non valentines date. I am having the same worries about leaving DS but as my friend said if the situation was reversed then I wouldn't mind and would cope so got to think of it that way. Which comedian are you seeing?

lily am having the same worries about DS and his milk in take. There is always blooy something.

Also those labour photos got me thinking - anyone that had a c section thought about whether they would have a section again or vbac (assuming you have a choice - appreciate may not) Not sure what I'd do. Like to try VBAC but my worry would be would end in emergency section again.

Happy Saturday everyone!

Was happy to come home after my 4 hours out and find DS asleep. Thought I could creep in and sleep but DS decided that not having a feed during that time meant he needed to feed all night long. DP had managed to get him to sleep about 8 which is good but meant we were up for the day at 6. One mojito and little sleep means a pj day for us today!

tindel Hope you got some more sleep, 6am is bad enough but anything before that shouldn't be allowed! I find the same with DS, he grabs and claws at anything he can get his hands on... my boob, my face, my nose. Have had a few scratches from him. I've looked at some breast feeding necklaces but just not sure how safe they are as a lot have beads...

Ruby DS is definitely a velcro baby so, like you, I do try to encourage some time in the jumperoo or playing with toys without me doing anything. He's also very selective about who he will go to. Apart from me only DP, DS1, DM and Dsil manage to hold him for any length of time. He even drops his bottom lip if Dmil holds him.

Yay for the spluttering dozy !! Don't know when I'll stop bf but only really think about it a week at a time, while its going well I'll carry on. Glad it's not just me who finds it difficult to keep track!

kbro One of my good friends who has a July baby moved from bf to ff to try to get more sleep, she said it made no difference at all.

Love having cuddles with DS when he has a lap nap but would love to go back to sleep right now!