January 2013 - my do it on my own!

[SnozzberryPie]

New thread for the January 2013 'babies'

[SnozzberryPie]

Glorious I don't know what I'd do in that situation - is there any way to do the secondment part time or as a job share so you would be doing less hours?

Cupcakes I think it is supposed to be a sign of good attachment if they are happy to be apart from you...

[LetThereBeCupcakes]

Really? 'coz right now it feels like he couldn't care less about me!

[RatOnnaStick]

and there's me cheering inside as I watch my little darlings disappear off for the day to school/nursery...

[LetThereBeCupcakes]

Oh I didn't say I'm not cheering, Rat - just that I wish he wasn't cheering quite so much! I'm v. hard to please.

[SnozzberryPie]

I think it is supposed to mean that they trust you to come back. I hope so as dd runs off with her grandparents / auntie / anyone else who will have her without looking back...

I am knackered today and have done something to my back carrying a tantruming dd up the stairs

[glorious]

cupcakes no I don't do things by halves, I'm a bit daft like that. Would be much better if I did! I'll PM you the job. I could theoretically do it slightly part time and will ask about job share. It's the kind of thing where you might end up dealing with a crisis on a Sunday or late at night, though. From home but still out of your control.

Time off and maybe retraining is kind of appealing but I just don't know. I can't really do mu current role freelance but I was thinking about coaching or going back to piano teaching for a bit, maybe focusing on small children.

Hope DS is improving and I agree with the others that it's a good thing really.

rat have you started your course yet?

[CreepyCrawly]

Hello all! Been a while since I posted, nice to see there is still some activity. I'm gonna have to go back and catch up with all your news.

DH and I have separated, I've moved back to my hometown so closer to my family and I finally have something resembling a life again.
Nancy is loving nursery, I don't even get a goodbye as she legs it in.
Though she spends most of her days being various animals.. The duck in particular is quite impressive

Right, I'm off to catch up with you all!

[SnozzberryPie]

Welcome back creepy! Sorry to hear about your split but glad to hear Nancy is doing well.

I'm just waiting to see the midwife for my 33 week appointment...

[LetThereBeCupcakes]

Welcome back creepy - sorry for your split. How are you doing?

Snozz how is your back?

glorious any decisions?

Awful weekend for us. Our beloved DDog collasped on Wednesday night and despite the vet initially thinking it was nothing serious, it turns out he's riddled with cancer. He is only 6. He's on steroids and painkillers and we're hoping to have a few weeks with him.

Tried talking to DS about it but it's hard as we don't know how long / sudden things are going to be. He knows DDog is very poorly and people are sad about that but any more discussion and he just shuts his eyes and walks off (and yes, he does usually walk in to something because his eyes are shut). Any ideas?

[glorious]

I'm so sorry cupcakes . How is your dog today? I don't really know what you can say. When my grandma (who E loved) died last year I told E that she had died which meant we wouldn't see her again but that we could remember her and talk about her. I also told E that normally people are old and sick when they die. She took it in her stride but obviously we didn't live with my grandma so I think that's a bit different.

I turned the job down because I've been getting dizzy spells again and the GP said no stress

[LetThereBeCupcakes]

Oh no glorious, what a shame. So sorry.

DDog is doing Ok, we went to our training class which he loved. Thanks for the advice, I'll try and have a chat with him today.

[Tugstonia]

Oh no cupcakes :( how's your Ddog doing now? Had a conversation with DD1 about dying recently because she was asking where her auntie (DP's sister who died 20+ years ago) had gone after she'd died. Ended up talking about heaven inadvertently but we're not remotely religious so felt a bit awkward. Anyway I think DD1 understood that once someone dies you don't see them again.

Sorry to hear you're having dizzy spells again glorious. Any progress with the doctors in finding out what's going on? Shame you had to turn the job down, although your health is the most important thing. Are you still considering taking some time off?

I'm trying to negotiate not going back to work at all and not paying back maternity pay... HR not so keen at the moment, unsurprisingly! But my director is fine with it can't wait to get rid of me. I've been offered a slot at a new clinic so really hoping to build up my acupuncture practice.

DD2's sleep has gone to pot. Waking every hour or so at the moment. I've been stressing about her not taking a bottle and starting to work evenings in the clinic from next week. She'll drink water from a doidy cup but refuses milk (expressed or formula) from any type of cup or bottle, regardless of who's giving it to her. Any tips??

[SnozzberryPie]

Cupcakes

We have so far avoided talking to dd about dying. I wonder if the library would have any useful books you could read with him (ours has a special section of books about specific topics like this), eg. 'Goodbye mog'. Or TV programmes, there is an episode of Bing where a butterfly dies.

Tugs how old is dd2? When I went back to work dd mostly slept in our bed and breastfed on and off throughout the night (by that point she could find a nipple without waking me) , then had no milk at all during the day. She was one and was eating lots of other food so it didn't really worry me.

Glorious sorry to hear about the dizzy spells.

[Tugstonia]

She'll be 7months on Sunday snozz, so still v little. She feeds a lot day and night, and is eating lots of solids but really just worried about her bedtime feed and not being there for that. I guess she'll get used to it but feel sad for her (and DP who'll have to deal with the fall out!). How are you? How many weeks are you?

[SnozzberryPie]

Oh, that is quite small to be missing a milk feed. Have you looked at the kellymom website, it has lots of tips about breastfeeding and it's aimed at American mums who go back to work when their babies are quite small, so there might be some useful info there.

I'm 34 weeks now, starting to feel like I am ready to pop, although I'm hoping to keep this one in for at least another three weeks. It's tiring with a toddler!

[Tugstonia]

Well we survived first night of me working and not being around for bedtime... DP gave her loads of dinner and she went to sleep within 5 mins of being in her cot! Then woke up about 2 mins after I walked through the door. Relieved! I'll only be working two evenings a week most likely so should be doable. Will have a look at Kellymom though, thanks snozz. Wow 34 weeks already! It is bloomin tiring with a toddler. Nearly there though.

[SnozzberryPie]

Well done tugs! I've got two weeks left till maternity leave, at least I will be able to rest on dds nursery days instead of going to work.

[LetThereBeCupcakes]

Glad the evening went OK Tugs - they're pretty resilient, really, aren't they!

Snozz I bet you're counting down the hours!

We keep sort of casually talking about the fact that DDog won't be with us much longer, don't think DS is getting it though. He's started closing his eyes when I try and tell him something he doesn't want to hear. I think it's because when I try and talk to him I ask him to look at me and now he's avoiding it. Eek!

[salt1]

just checking in to say I am still here and following all the news. we are off to a Halloween party tomorrow. I am looking forward to it even though it will all be over by 6. beggers cant be choosers eh? xx

[RatOnnaStick]

Just back from a long weekend in the Peak District where ds1 managed to fall and chip his elbow whilst pratting about in the Monkey Forest so instead of a nice leisurely Sunday afternoon we spent it at Leek minor injuries unit getting a plastercast.

Dan was alright. In his cheeky element with the monkeys, could've left him there nobody would have noticed the difference. Ratbag .

Have just finished my first assignment for uni. Can't remember being awake this late for a real reason for some time.

Hope you had a good Halloween party Salt we didn't do much apart from pumpkin picking as we were away but the boys did like all the decorations everywhere.

[glorious]

Sorry all, I have typed long posts on my phone a couple of times and lost them and then forgotten to start again on the computer.

How is ddog cupcakes

hi salt, how was the party?


We made Halloween biscuits with a friend and their toddler involving the most brilliant collection of bats/witches/broomsticks/cats etc, and some lurid orange and black icing. DD was then most aggrieved when we then gave most of them away to trick or treaters so were the trick or treaters

How are you enjoying the course, rat?

I think I've decided that I'm going to take the career break. It's a bit terrifying and I don't like the idea of relying on DH for money, but I am just so worn out and I can't think clearly about what I actually want. Plus it avoids the nasty commuting bit. So anyway I'm planning to request it tomorrow, wish me luck...

[RatOnnaStick]

Good luck Glorious! I felt a huge sense of relief when I stopped juggling work and children. Its not for everyone but it made us all happier for now, for the next year til Dan is in full time preschool anyway. As to relying on DH for money, I think of it like a family pot not his and hers. I'm quite enjoying the housewife malarkey for now. Just thinking day to day about the small stuff. You sound so tired I think it would probably do you good to slow down and just breathe for a bit. I'm sure E would like it too...

The course is going fine. I handed in my first assignment last week and now waiting for the results with chewed fingers. I'm not expecting brilliance this first time. Also the second assignment is to rework the first essay according to my tutor comments so I figure its allowed to be a bit rubbish this time isn't it?

Today is day one of potty training and so far, no accidents! We've only been nappy-free for 2.5 hours though so plenty of time for it all go wrong...

[glorious]

Well done on the assignment! Sorry about the staying up late to do it though... I reckon anything that doesn't count towards the final mark is just a practice (and I presume it doesn't if you get to do it twice!). Horrible to be waiting for the results though, I remember that so well from my masters (I did that not long before having DD while also working full time and it was a fair few years after my first degree and I was scared!).

How is the potty training progressing? DD just refuses 99% of the time and then suddenly decides to use it. She definitely can when she wants to.

I spoke to my very nice line manager about the career break and he will basically agree whatever I want, which is very supportive (as I thought he would be). He did also say not to do it for the wrong reason, and that if there was anything that would make it more doable to stay then we should look at that instead. Plus a lot of nice stuff about how good a job I'm doing, which I really don't feel like I am. I feel like I'm doing a crap job of everything. So it was really nice to hear and the whole thing made me a bit teary. I was then really upset last night at the thought of it all.

It's a bit stupid really, I think I'm just so exhausted I don't know what's best and I don't like the sound of any of the options. I know I'd enjoy being at home but fundamentally I do enjoy being at work as well. But then I totally agree with you rat that it would do me a lot of good to slow down, take some time and work out what I actually want.

It's a lovely problem to have but I am monumentally bad at making decisions like this!

[RatOnnaStick]

Your line manager sounds lovely. If I were in your position I might be considering extended leave for maybe 2-3 months just to recharge and refresh and get well again. Its sounds to me as if you need to just take away the stress completely for a bit.

Potty training very good on day one, only 1 accident just before bed. Day two was ok in the morning but after nap and school run (with nappy on) he had 5 accidents in an hour, then puked his dinner up and ran a temp overnight so he's back in pullups cuddling on the sofa with me watching Planes and feeling a bit sorry for himself. I'm leaving off preschool today and tomorrow and we'll try again with pants at the weekend.

[glorious]

Yes, he is nice. My whole team is at the moment, which makes a big difference. A shorter break would be another option - bit complicated with childcare places though and doesn't help with the Cambridge move. It would help me think, though.

Well one day of potty training sounds pretty good at least. Shame the illness got in the way. Is he better now?

E has now done two sessions at preschool by herself and is extremely proud. She asked to stay at the end of the second one!