The 11th Gemini bus - Trudging through the terrible twos

[AGnu]

Ugh. That's so typical! It sounds like it was your idea to film the scenario and your DH is deemed hero of the night for happening to be there and to help deal with it. How about allllll the other times that you've had to do this on your own due to him being at work, away for work, sleeping, in the bathroom, etc.? I mean, I do love guys, they do deserve credit for a great deal of things, I'm not on a feminist guy-hating winge, it's just so infuriating that we are just expected to be good at this and to not really be praised for the patience we have to put into raising our children and yet a house that's not spotless, a kid who is an emotional mess at the end of the day, an empty fridge, dinner that hasn't been made or us ready to tear our hair out by bedtime are just seen as the NORM for us over emotional-irrational-hard on our partners-women who do SO MUCH DURING THE DAY! I'm mad on your behalf, Agnu I am totally on Frus's side about this. Also, it's absolutely no one else's business on whether you and your partner decide to have more children. Your parents/In-laws can do f'off about all of this as far as I'm concerned!

In response to Calf's description, I can totally see that as being completely benign. My boys have both said things like "my brain told me to do it" which I think is just the beginning stages of hearing one's self and recognizing the identification of their own thought patterns. I also can see why he would say things like that to get a reaction. It might be something along the lines of saying things like "poopy pants" or "penis-head" or whatever. He knows he's not really supposed to say it, but when he does say it, he's feeling in-control of how he's affecting another person to respond to him. Each kid is so different in how they respond to the consequences they receive from their parents, so I'm not saying that you should respond in one way or another, but I do think this is more a reactionary behavior than something you'd need to worry about actually being thought of as an action that he's considering acting out on or fantasizing about.

Agnu - yeah, agree with the others...poor you Yay that you got to talk about home ed in a positive light as you've been fighting that corner for a while...that must of been nice to have a positive conversation about it

So, day 1 at pre school complete Didn't go too bad but didn't go fantastic either. Bpear had to be distracted so that I could leave (ha ha to me actually thinking he might kiss me goodbye like in the story books) and when I went to collect him he was bawling his eyes out at the door with his coat on waiting for me On the other side...I went off really happy as it's just as cute as I remember it being when we went round to look at it last year and everyone looked really happy when I left. Apparently he had a couple of moments being happy but mostly cried for me. Guess it's a compliment that he was home sick He only managed 1 bite of his snack which is unheard of as he is a great snack person normally lol I'm really not looking forward to next time because he will know what's coming won't he! We will get there I'm sure. Gawd I hope

Aww. Just the first day pear New people. New kids. New location. Now important thing is, What did you get to do with your free time!? Yay, right?
Yeah, next time might be harder. It's a couple of weeks of adjusting, tbh. You'd be surprised at how much you talk about it with him too and letting him know the basics that it's play time for him, you are coming back, etc. etc. It took M a while to get used to her current daycare location and we had talks in the car every day on our way there just about how mummy had to work, daddy is going to pick her up, we talked about her favorite friends there, her favorite toys, she gets to colour and paint, she gets to go down the slides.... you get the idea.

pssst! Day 5 of dry undies. EEk! This has been 12132093129% easier than it was with boys. Holy moly.

Bring, um I just about managed to ring my mum and then I was called back 30 minutes later to collect him so he wasn't there very long at all. They say baby steps but he's not stupid...now he knows I'll come running! Personally I think it would have been better to stay with him nearly the entire session and left at the last 30 minutes and then reduce the time I'm present everyday then to do it this way. I guess it is difficult for them to judge how he will react first day. I think next time he will be much wiser and make me stay longer! I've now got to forget about "me" time for a while because I really can see this taking a lot longer then I expected. My mum is driving me a bit nuts Just as well I love her She's now going on and on about which day she can have him now that he's in nursery but I kind of feel like she's lost her chance now. I've been waiting nearly 3 years for her to make a weekly commitment to help me but it's all talk and only happens when she can fit it in or when I'm desperate for a babysitter so I book it in. I wish she would stop pretending that she now wants him because it's hard enough for me to adjust to loosing him for two days right now. Just have to keep repeating to myself it's OK she's just saying that because she's panicking that she's now lost her chance, we all know that she can't make a weekly commitment which is exactly why he is starting nursery etc! I think she will be far more helpful when the baby comes, she's better at small crisis stints then long term commitments. Talking about crisis-is...I noticed the other day that she's not opened her post for months I've really got to go and sort that out. Problem is, I've suddenly developed insomnia and sleeping really badly so the last thing I want to do is drive over at 7pm once bpear is in bed to sort her life out. Got to do it though

Oh and sorry...wow that is amazing progress! I am in complete awe That much be such a buzz after dealing with 2 boys

It's difficult when they behave in a completely different way at home than when they're out. Calf is such a sweet, inquisitive child most of the time. My foster sister didn't recognise him when I showed her the video. Hopefully video evidence will be helpful for convincing anyone who might not be completely on the same page with how to help her (& you)!

No potty training attempts from me either. DH is doing is utmost though. He keeps putting Runt on the toilet, Runt chimes in with a lovely sing-song "Nuh-in cummin" & DH takes him off again. I really don't see the point. He's clearly not ready yet & doesn't have the faintest clue what to do. He regularly watches Calf on the loo properly gets his face right in for a good look while I try not to snigger & congratulates Calf but doesn't know how to do it himself. I think we'd be better off waiting for some warmer weather & turfing him out in the garden in just a t-shirt. He needs to get more of an idea of what's happening with his body before he'll learn how to control it. He & DH seem to like their little ritual though so I shan't interfere!

Yy, my friends would often say their kids did similar at bedtime, until I showed them the video & they all said it was completely different to what they deal with. Kinda nice to know I'm not just being pathetic & a bad parent but also a little confronting to have it confirmed, IYSWIM!

We're having a really difficult time atm. I've had sinusitis this week, then Runt got the virus & started breathing funny, over an hour at the GP landed us with an inhaler & tantrums every time it's time to use it, then I ate something dodgy yesterday & am spending the day on the sofa with stomach cramps. Plus Calfs been difficult for 5 bedtimes running. I'm just tired of dealing with life at the moment.

Oh man agnu you need a break, lady. Are things getting better for you now that the weekend is over?

Kids on are on spring holiday. Kill me now please. There goes being a productive business owner or someone with half an ounce of patience left by 4:30pm. DH of course, does not understand at all what it's like to have your sense of routine and normalcy and adulthood ripped out of your grasp and to instead put on your 50's housewife apron, and be caretaker for 8 hrs + and then act like you've just had the best fucking day of your life while your (not)DH was off being the strong breadwinner and you are indebted to him for life so you went made sure you put on some makeup and made him a fucking pot roast. (are we getting an idea of how DAY 1 of SPRING HOLIDAY went this evening?). I was told that I was quote/unquote "A psycho" "Couldn't even handle day 1 of spring break like he knew was going to happen" "he's going to work until 8 every night so he doesn't have to deal with me" and "you had all day to figure out what to make for dinner". OM. Yep. NOOOOOooo sex for you tonight buddy. This was after he said he was going to be done with work at 5, 5:30 rolls around and I'm wondering where he is so I can go pee in peace (without M holding onto my knees saying "you're doing such a great job mummy!" ) he calls and says "Oh, what should I pick up from Costco?" Excuse me? WTF are you at Costco? Then he says "oh, I went to TKMax and picked up a lamp for you" WTF do I need a lamp? So I admit. I lost it a little. I got a little frustrated over the phone and asked him when he was planning on letting me know about these little excursions when I'm with the kids all day and just really need him to be home about 15 minutes ago. Welllll......apparently that makes me a psycho who can't deal with her own children who deserves to be threatened with single parenthood for the week. Yep. Love you too honey muffin. UGH.

bring they just don't get it, do they?! The routine change is difficult for everyone but it's always too much to expect the man to notice that & adjust his own routine to help out a little! This is part of the reason we're HEing - less of a shock to the system come holiday time! Is the lamp nice at least? I'd have told DH to buy himself a new watch, or failing that, get me a new DH with better priorities... Costco stock those, right?

It's been every night for over a week now. I thought I'd got away with it last night - he was quiet for nearly 10 minutes before the switch flipped. We've taken to swaddling him in a big blanket. Not sure about the ethics of binding a child while they try to get away from you but it stops him hurting himself, or us, or damaging anything plus it seems to get him to calm a bit faster. We're actually getting our sanity evenings back!

Yeah, by all means Agnu, if it's working keep going!

Spring Break: Day 2. Made it to the YMCA only after shouting at DS1 for managing to half-way shut the car door and of course, waiting until the car was locked (which I don't have a fancy keyless entry for and have to resort to the 80's method of unlocking it again with an actual key... thus meaning I needed to try to keep M close to the car and not letting her run around the car park ). Took the work out class (meh, I hate the sub instructor who was in today. Think: Jillian Michaels-type shouty crazy lady. Not motivating or fun, at. all.). Got home. DH was sweet today after a huge long discussion last night about pouring oneself into children all day and just really needing a refuel to get back on track, the notion of routine and the pressure of still feeling it from work but not having resources or time to fulfill that pressure. I think he got it. So today was better. Took kids to zoo only to get a phone call from DH saying that he went to the GP because his eyes were bugging him and turns out he's managed to get conjunctivitis (aka Pink Eye as it's aptly called over here).... and not only that has managed to infect several of his co-workers so he was sent home (HA HA HAH!). So now's he's affectionately called "Daddy Pink Eyes" at our house and he was home this afternoon to just be the good ol' co-pilot that I desperately needed yesterday. It's been pouring out for the past 24 hrs so yay for cooperative weather to help with the crazy kids I'm having to entertain. I think tomorrow might end up being soft play somewhere or going to the cinema and go see Zootopia. Who knows if M will sit through it. Maybe extra popcorn will help? I'll update you again tomorrow!

Oh my god. It's been nearly a month since I've been on here!! Where does the time go? So much to catch up on.

Agnu welcome back for a start. Sounds like things are still really tough with Calf. Hope you can get a diagnosis and some more support soon. Glad that Runt's a little bundle of joy - in a frustrating toddler, moody way. We love them really.
So you're after baby number 3? No chance here. 2 is enough. I turn 40 this year and I'm too old to do it again. No amount of frus saying 3 is a good number will convince me

pear how's the healthy eating going? I've abandoned all pretense that this pregnancy is not cake/sugar-fuelled.
I've been in cold-misery for weeks now too. C has endless colds at the moment and I'm picking them all up. Must get well in the next few weeks!!! Iv'e had awful coughs too as has C.
We're also in dropping-nap phase. Some days he'll have one and other days won't but every day he says he doesn't want to, even when knackered. It's so hard because it was giving me a little rest on the days I'm at home with him but on the plus side, he goes to bed SO easily when he doesn't nap! We do 'quiet time' with him too. I leave him in bed and he gets out and plays with his toys or reads books in his room. He may get bored and come out or he may fall asleep on the floor.
How's preschool going now?

Bring FL sounds like it was quite a trip! How awful that your DS2 got Fifth's disease when you were coming back too. I'd never even heard of it in Ireland - only since I moved to the UK.I wonder if it's just not a thing there.
How's the toilet training with M going now? We'er pretty much there with C now. He still has accidents some days, mostly when distracted with more interesting things, but he's happily using the toilet which is great. Like Pears nursery said, friends doing it helped a lot. His best friend at nursery was training and every time he went to the toilet, C would rip off his nappy and sit on one too so we thought we'd seize the opportunity.

So, I have 5 weeks until due date. 5 weeks! How did that happen! I finish work next week, although I'm only doing 2 days this week and next (and last week for that matter). Looking forward to finishing and having a bit of time to myself when C is in nursery, although feel a bit guilty about sending him in when I'm at home.
Need to get organised!

Wow Lor that went so quickly! Awesome news on the toilet training. M did a gigantic poo in her pants today and gleefully came and found me to tell me about it. So that happened. She's great with going #1.... not so much with #2. Ugh.

And that brings me to Spring Break Day #3. Not a good one. Gonna be honest. Shouty mum day. DS2 would. not. stop. punching #1. He was sent to his room 4x! M was on a smothering-the-cat rampage so it was constant constant me telling her to get off the cat which resulted in her getting loads of scratches all over her arms. It was absolutely freezing cold outside and the wind was insane so tough to be outside to wear themselves out. Only two days left. Only two more days. The work is seriously piling up too. EEK!

Lor - What? Don't be silly. You can't only have 5 weeks left? That's impossible!! Wow A new bus baby is soon to be buying a ticket...eek how exciting!! How do you physically feel apart from the rubbish cold/cough? Are you nervous yet or still blissfully not thinking too much about the birth part? Nerves kicked in about having 2 or just excited? So sorry you've been sicky poo though! Totally sucks living on hot ribena and honey and lemon drinks! Although, I have a lot to thank the honey and lemon for since my recent super quick recovery! Nice work on potty training. Big FX cross that you don't go backwards when the baby arrives. However, it's really not the end of the world if you do. It's happened to a few of my friends and they all seem to have recovered from the backwards blip v quickly so don't panic if you do find C goes backwards...apparently all very normal! I can't wait to hear if it's a girl or boy joining our bus!!

Bring - Have you seen the Tv series Catastrophe yet? I think we're on series 3 now or waiting for series 3 but I saw an interview the other day saying that they're airing series 1 in the USA in the next couple of weeks. You've got to watch it. You'll love it Your witty school holiday updates obviously less funny in RL to you right now just remind me of the shows humour On the flip side though...at least we know you're still alive Just

Am I still pregnant? 16.5 weeks and really not feeling it at all. I've got that horrible nagging feeling that maybe I'm not actually pregnant anymore. Feel like I've completely stopped growing and actually keep forgetting that I am pregnant. Roll on the 20 week scan!!!

Pre-school day 5...still bawling his eyes out. Yep. Reached a sad point yesterday where the teacher had to help peel him off me so I could leave for 10 minutes. There are a couple of things with the settling sessions that I'm not happy about and I have to put my hand up and say I think I'm part to blame as I expected more Input from the teachers when probably I should have been more direct enough to say No... This is how I think we should be doing the settling days. Never mind though. It's been a learning curve and I'm still v happy with the nursery as a whole. It's now the holidays for 3 weeks so we will basically start again after the holidays and I'll have to man up and say this is how we need to do it etc I just need to leave him earlier and not stay with him for the first 1 hour and also leave him for longer then just 10 minutes as the last two occasions he's not been crying when I've picked him up but they've still been intent that he should only be left for 10 minutes. We will get there hopefully soon!!!

Ha! No, I haven't seen the show yet, but have definitely heard about it. DH's friend keeps insisting that we watch it because of the whole American/British couple thing. Now I'm really going to have to watch it.

Honestly, it is funny and I'm trying to see the humour in having 3 wild children buzzing around the house for a whole week. They're not going to stay this age forever, they're going to stop wanting my attention all of the time and I'll have to go find them for their attention eventually (and bug the heck outta them. Muwahaha)... I do think about those moments and how this is going to fly by quickly. But DUDE. I'm so in the trenches right now doing the grunt work and it's hard and self-sacrificing and the day to day is tough! So Spring Break Day #4 update. Not so bad. Lowered expectations. Skipped the gym class so nothing to try to get kids dressed and out the door for at 9:30 am. In fact... just skipped getting dressed all together. I was in the exact same state that I was when DH left for work this morning so that got a look from him. But I'm very proud to say that things we've accomplished today are: TV-free break for a whole 45 minutes (score that DH came home at that point with the kids happily playing Lego and listening to classical music AND the kitchen was at a clean point! SCORE! Mum of the day award!) HAHA! And, sent DH a very cute video of M attempting her hand (feet?) at Irish Dancing after watching a vid with me on Instagram (anyone else completely hooked on that stupid site?). And our cat Shankly got a very thorough brushing from M instead of a total smother/choke fest (LOL, I think at the end of it when she finally let him go and his fur was sticking up everywhere he would have preferred the alternative). And I got 3 retweets on Twitter about my political post about Bernie Sanders (LOVE that old guy). So wa-hey! Great day! Also heading to a boxing class to punch the CRAP out of a punching bag for all the pent up mum frustration from the past couple of days since I've had to skip classes this week with the wee monsters home full time. It's gonna feel freaking amazing. Roll on tomorrow. NEARLY DONE.

Also, totally normal to feel absolutely unpregnant at this stage pear at least until the little one starts kicking and the bump gets bigger.

I think that's a good plan to start leaving a bit earlier each time. Really sorry to hear he's crying for so long. Hopefully when he realizes that you come back and that this is a regular thing he'll start finding more ways to be distracted and start finding more comfort in the carers as he gets to know them better.

Yeah, I didn't want to say anything about the toilet training relapse with new baby... but totally normal. Especially when they see all the attention and time the new one gets with nappy changing the toddlers tend to figure out that they would like some of that one on one time again too. My midwives both had kids at various ages so a good tip they told me was to put together a basket with new really cool snacks and toys or movies that only comes out when you are feeding the babe so that way the eldest is easier to distract and also doesn't find the feeds as a big cut into their attention, but looks forward to being able to get into their feeding-time basket instead. Just a thought.

bring spring break sounds tough! I don't know how people manage being SAHM all the time with more than one child. i just wouldn't cope. I'd love to see M Irish dancing! I sent C off to nursery yesterday with an Irish flag and a leprechaun that plays 'When Irish Eyes are Smiling'.

Pear generally I feel well, thanks. My hip/back issues have settled down quite a bit so am not struggling as much as I was, although wearing a support belt when doing any significant walking helps a LOT. Other than that, i just feel big and bump is getting heavy but with only a month left to go, that's how it should be. I'm definitely shifting to feeling ready to not be pregnant anymore and looking forward to meeting baby (and finding out if it's a boy or girl!). Have a lot of stuff to sort out though. Need to get organised. I'm not really nervous about the birth, as it was quite straightforward last time so hopefully will be the same this time. Bit nervous about managing C with a newborn but I guess we'll cope! Hoping potting training doesn't go backwards but I have heard that can happen so we'll see. Not the end of the world if it does. LOVE Bring's idea of a dedicated basket of fun things to occupy C when feeding. Will get right on that.

Can't believe you're 16 weeks already too pear. So wonderful. I'm beyond thrilled for you. It's a funny time alright when symptoms disappear a bit but you know that's normal too.

Frus Sounds like things are tough with school refusing. Must be hard to handle but at least you do have tutor support. Hopefully things will be better after Easter.

Wowzer I must have been off a month too and some BIG posts!!!
Wow pear 16wks already! The nursery thing seems abit strange to me, I'm sure I had one day with both mine for an hour or so then that was it Kitten still has to be peeled off me at times and that's after 2 years she reacts better to dh dropping off but seriously 10 mins?? What's the point in that??? Most just snap put of it by that point he's harder going to get past it and start enjoying it if that's all he's there for crazy!!
We've had sucsess on the potty front too,3 weeks in big girl pants. Were 50/50 with poos still but she is doing them on the potty which is a major sucsess just has gone them in knickers too yuck
Agnu sorry to hear things seem so difficult- I must say I didn't get the dh love and not you from your post Just that they praised how he and you were handling it. Seems like you got a lot of empathy and it's good they see what you are having to deal with I hope you get some help with it video evidence was a great idea
Frus how is dd now ? Improvements at all?
Lor wow only 5 weeks!! Don't you dare feel guilty for abit of you time you deserve it and pretty soon will be totally submerged into full on mum mode again
Bring wow spring break fun huh I can't ever imagine my dh going by choice to tkmax let alone getting me a lamp lol maybe the pink eye was his punishment ha ha atleast you've help at home a little
We all had a sickness bug here. No cold (yet) sickness that hit us all but quick in and out-ofcourse dh seem to last a day longer then everyone else's in recovery even though he was only sick once

Yes, genius idea about the BF basket bring!
Hope you had a good boxing session and didn't do yourself anymore injuries

Lor - great to hear you're feeling well other then normal heavy pregnancy symptoms! I have to admit that I've not really been eating that well However, I have good days just not many and my news is that I've been swimming once a week for about 6 weeks now. I know that's not a lot at all but it's got to help right? It's more then I did last time with bpear. I couldn't swim with him at all as it was just weirdly uncomfortable or maybe I mentally couldn't get my head round it?! I did try but it always left me feeling uncomfortable. So, this time I can happily swim without my stomach going hard and I feel great after. I am going to try very hard to keep this up. Once a week for 45 min seems totally doable. Good luck with all your baby preparations and washing! So exciting!! Will you be having a baby shower? I will not. I did for bpear and that was lovely but I don't feel a second one for me is necessary as I would feel mega to organise it myself! I am trying to get out go to the hairdressers more than once and be independent on my own as much as possible though. Going swimming helps as I have the evening to myself!

Kitty - yay for potty training success! So envious of you lot!! Could I not just let the nursery do it for me? Ha ha Ha! Yeah I totally agree on the nursery front...I too would just pull the plaster off quickly rather then drag it on but we will see. Bpear is telling me on a daily basis "mummy go shopping and bpear was sad" It's just him processing it all though, right?!

Oooooo Frus...that's v v exciting!! Can't wait to hear good news from you this week Hearing must just be such an alien concept to your DD! I've got everything crossed that it all goes smoothly for you. You so deserve a good run this week