The 11th Gemini bus - Trudging through the terrible twos

[AGnu]

Not to contradict you agnu because every kid is different so different things work... but we had the most success with accidents. No pull-ups. Just either bare-butt or actual pants (you can find trainer ones that have a layer of plastic between the layers of cloth) and a pair of elastic shorts or sweats that they can pull up on their own. They learn that feeling of being wet and what causes that a lot faster with the accidents than with another nappy-like product. We're talking like plastic table cloths on the sofa with a blanket that's washable over (and also the rug where ever they play), having a timer every 30 minutes or associating using the toilet with a normal daily routine. Like wake up-try the potty. Go use the potty before breakfast (and then try again after). Potty before snack time. It's fucking ridiculous how obsessive it all gets but it what we've had the most success with. It's a process. You'll turn into a neurotic broken record but hey! It's always fun, right?

Ah thanks ladies. So we're officially on day 4 and I think it's going OK. When Bpear was in nursery yesterday I went shopping for big boy pants. I know lots of mums say make this a special outing but he hates shopping so I took the pain out of it. Anyway I got £3 Minion pants (he likes the film) from Primemark and then I got Peppa Pig pants and a pack of plain colours in the Mothercare sale. So we now have plenty of pants He tried them on after nursery and to my surprise again has totally taken to them. So far we've had 11 wee's and 6 accidents (carpet, kitchen floor and one highchair incident tonight - thank god for IKEA easy to clean highchairs). Today he started to recognise that he needs to tell me he needs to wee and he asked about 3/4 times. It feels like he is weeing too much to me but like bring says it's become an obsessive game. Anyway, the wearing big boy pants route for us is working well. I plan to stay in all week as luckily I don't have any plans. On Friday I have a trip to the beach but if the weather continues to be shocking then it will get moved to the weekend and the beach is a good place to be. I would really like to avoid the portable loo option so I might cheat and stick a nappy on him for the 1.5hr car ride. Once we're at the beach I'm going to take him to the clean public loos and see how we get on. I am so relieved to be doing this now!!! The friends who said it would be good to do with a newborn are off their rockers!!! This is hard work!! Much better to give him all my attention and praise now! How we go with poos tomorrow....well that will be interesting

Sorry Agnu I do recycle but I also love wipes and couldn't live without them They mean I don't have to physically touch poo, they feel nice and they're always there for me... Sorry!!!

Bring - did you find that TV was too much of a distraction? That's when we seem to be having the most accidents even though I am regularly asking to tell me when he needs a wee

Anyone shopping in the next sale this weekend? I've got a VIP slot tonight but I need to be really controlled!

Resorted to letting him put a nappy on at nap time today This is just exhausting. I'm just hoping he actually naps as we haven't been very active this morning which normally equals 0 naps. On the bright side DH finally finished painting his room last night (two contrasting blues) and the new carpet arrives tomorrow! We should be able to move him in by Saturday. I've decided not to take down the bars on his cotbed. I'm just not ready to say goodbye to any ounce of sleep that might be lost if we do! I have however brought him a duvet and pillow so he can start using that if he wants instead of his nearly outgrown sleeping bag!

Big failure today Bpear woke up from his nap after doing a massive mountain 2 day poo He didn't ask me to use the potty at all and had 2 accidents near the potty I have now brought the Oxo Tots portable potty after realising that A) I can't stay in forever and B) I've got to keep going. Not enjoying this at all. Now just got to get him to bed so that I can shop my VIP Next slot at 9pm Feeling fed up!

Aww pear Sorry to hear it's been a rough day for you. To answer your question, YES the TV is a major distraction with training! We would end up turning off the TV for a potty break (and a treat after they did go) and then they could go watch it again. Also, potty training is the infuriating "2 steps forward, 1 step back" process and some days are fucking nightmares. For my boys, poo was the last process to get down. It doesn't happen as often so not as much practice. For some reason my second boy had a certain position he wanted to go in when he had a nappy on so trying to convince him that he had to sit on the potty to go just was NOT happening. And I just hate to admit it. But my god chocolate M&Ms were my life-savers. 1 for wee, 2 for poo. (M still gets 2 chocolates for poos on the potty! )

Oh bring....thank you so much for your honest account! It's exactly how I feel and tbh I may go the chocolate bribery route if I have another day like today. What I have learnt is that I really can't do this with a newborn and little sleep so I need to crack this in the next 7 weeks... At least get to a better stage!

I'm sorry to bore you all but I just wanted to say that today was better. 2 accidents & 6 successes. 1 accident happened at nap time because he didn't want his nappy on. I wasn't going to argue with that but was expecting an accident. My portable potty arrived today, the OXO tot, and I'm really happy with it despite saying that I never wanted to be one of those mummies! The toilet seat adaptor also arrived and is really sturdy but Bpear didn't want to use it and told me the big loo is for mummy. It's something to work towards I guess! There is a part of me that thinks, have I not just swapped nappies for the potty? I guess this is the gentle in between where he will learn how to recognise his bodily functions and when he's confidently mastered that he should move to the toilet?!

Ooops did I kill the thread?

Hope everyone had a good weekend? I managed to be first in the Next Sale queue at 4am and cooked my mother and MIL a roast today. Also, Bpear had his first dry day today without prompting...definite progress

Sorry pear ! Still here. Just been busy since Friday morning.

That's fantastic news though! He's got the hang of it quickly it sounds like! Nice work both of you!

I'm afraid I don't have anything exciting to share. We've had some nice weather so we've been trying to be outside as much as poss and just doing work around the home... so yeah, that's about it really!

I'm still here too! We had Calf's ADOS assessment last week which seemed to go ok, just waiting for the result now - they said they'd call. Next step is for the paed to review all the observations & make a decision about diagnosis. Not sure how I feel about it now... I don't want a diagnosis because I don't want him to need extra support. OTOH, I really do want the diagnosis because I know he does need the support!

We're TTC again, currently on 5dpo I think. I ovulated a few days later than usual this month but hopefully it won't be an issue. Also not sure how I feel about TTC now... avoidance of addressing how I feel about things is what's been keeping me from posting recently!

We've got DH's granny's funeral on Thursday & my mum thinks she'll be free to come look after the boys so at least that's one less thing to worry about!

No news on DH's job yet then bring?

We're going to need a new thread soon, given how chatty we're all being!

I'm on CD26 which is 8-9dpo based on my BBT chart & I've been getting cramps since yesterday. Would be a couple of days early for pre-AF cramps so could potentially be an implantation thing but I've yet to have any digestive/stomach related issues which is usually my first symptom. I'm trying to tell myself that last month has messed up my cycle & AF might arrive early this month. I had a very vivid, unpleasant dream last night about sudden, dramatic pregnancy loss that left the bathroom looking like a murder scene, no psychoanalysis needed there! &, while I am prone to remembering dreams, very vivid/dramatic dreams do seem to be an early pregnancy thing for me. My usual dreams are really mundane! I guess I just have to sit tight & see what happens. I'm planning to wait until 14dpo before testing this time, even though that would make AF 4 days late. I don't feel like I'm going to be pregnant this month... would be handy if I was though, given that DH's relative is getting married abroad next May so DC3 would be about 6 weeks. We're hoping we can hint FIL into paying for us to go. If we don't get a BFP this month there's no way I'll be able to persuade DH to fly with a 2wo or I might be too pregnant to fly. I'm actually considering taking a few months off trying if it would mean we could go. We've not had a foreign holiday since another of his relatives got married 6 years ago. I only went abroad with my family once growing up but one of my siblings seems to be jetting off every other week. Not that I'm at all...

Agnu ooooo that's exciting about potentially being pregnant FX! I've had very vivid dreams in this pregnancy at the start. I don't remember experiencing anything like it with Bpear. I'm not sure I would be brave enough to travel with 2 boys and a baby Brave lady! and great news about Calf's diagnosis coming soon even if you're a bit nervous about it all which is very understandable! How did the funeral go? I hope it went as best as it could under the circumstances!

So I had my 34 week midwife appt today. I cannot believe I'm on the verge of having 5 weeks left She asked me if I wanted advice and help with BF and gave me some ridiculous speech that I should start talking to the baby to help with the bond. It was ridiculous...I think she was even reading it from the computer screen Anyway, I am relieved to hear that it is very unlikely she will be at the birth...TG for that The good news is I've got zero complications so right now it's possible I could get the midwifery led experience that I've always wanted with maybe some time in the pool for the second stage of labour. I just have to keep everything crossed that things continue to be good and it's not a busy day on the ward! Tomorrow we have our 6hr Hypnobirthing class which I'm really looking forward to now. I haven't seen DH for weeks because all he does is work. It will be good for us to go to the class together.

Bpear did his first poo in the potty yesterday. Unfortunately my MIL screwed it up today when she was looking after him whilst I was with the midwife He then did a poo in his nappy at nap time but didn't nap and from what he is telling me I think she got cross with him which makes me feel really sad He's so sad when I leave him with her I don't think we will be using her again for a while. Luckily my mother is sitting for us tomorrow and once in August when we get to go out on a date. I can't imagine we will be doing anything else so I think it's OK that we don't need her help TG.

I have just rewarded myself with a big slice of delicious chocolate cheesecake from the Co-op which was a bargain £2 on offer!

Bring any news on the job front? Really hope so!!

Poor bpear! Shouting at him isn't going to achieve anything!

Does your MW not think the baby hears enough of your voice already? I struggle to believe that an unborn baby can tell the difference between talking at them & talking to someone else. Surely it's best for the baby's development if you chat to other people as much as possible so he/she gets to hear the natural back & forth of conversation. In fact, you would be letting your child down if you didn't... it's imperative in the next few weeks that you go out for (decaff) coffee with friends as much as possible... to aid the baby's development, of course...

I'm driving myself insane! AF is due probably either Sunday or Monday &, aside from the dream, I've not really had any symptoms that are unlikely to just be pre-AF. I don't feel pregnant. I keep telling myself I'm probably not... then I feel guilty that I'm basically denying my child's existence if I am. I've been getting increasingly painful cramps for 3 days now. Usually I just get a day at most of mild cramping. It's worse than labour...! I may be exaggerating a little. I'm dreading telling DH that I'm not - I'd excitedly told him about my BFP last month, the day before AF arrived. He seemed fine about it but having to actually say the words was so hard for me at the time. I kinda don't want to tell him anything until the 12w scan... I can get away with that, right?!

Agnu - ahh I doubt you could wait until the 12 week scan Not long until you find out now Woop Woop! What tests have you got in the house if any?

not sure what the MW is thinking tbh. She's young and cold as a fish trying to be all professional and efficient but soooooo robotic! I have no idea how she has the job and we're not really looking forward to her visiting her our house if she's the one... I should ask her at the next apt. I feel bad for the first timers who have her who might be walking around feeling guilty for not talking enough to their baby! That's the kind of idiot talk that makes you feel like you won't have a bond with your baby. Luckily I know better and I know my baby is happy and hears my voice all the time. Bpear gives her a kiss nearly everyday...she's a well loved bump

The hot weather has now put us back to 6:30 starts I guess I should be grateful it's not 5am!

Boo to early starts pear my entire family is still asleep. We seem to have got into a pattern of me being the first up on weekends & prepping breakfast. I'm the last up the rest of the week!

I've got some frers... well, I say "some", I have one unused & one I've just wee'd on! BFP! I don't feel particularly reassured though. It wasn't a very dark line so I'm freaking out that it'll be another chemical. Plus I woke up feeling a little feverish with a temp of 37.1 which naturally means it's ectopic or something! I can't imagine I'll be able to talk anyone into booking me an early scan off the back of one chemical pregnancy! I'll probably feel able to relax a little if I make it to 6 weeks, although I think I'll be worrying about MMC until I see the 12 week scan!

Ooooooo exciting Agnu! Keep us posted

Nothing to report yet pear! Very much a case of no news is good news atm! If I get through tomorrow with no bleeding I might actually start believing it!

Yay, now the weather has cooled down a bit Bpear slept until 7:20pm whoop! On another note I didn't sleep so well as my suspected bipolar sister had a massive attack at me yesterday for the most ridiculous thing and it has really upset me. I'm mainly upset because I was in a really good place after the Hypnobirthing class and I just feel like I was attacked on purpose. In a nutshell I invited her to an adventure park that I took Bpear to yesterday. It was a last minute invite and she made a fuss and a dance over it saying that the entry was too expensive bla bla so I was very laid back and said to her that she didn't need to go and that we could wait to go at low season etc. She finally confirmed she wanted to go at 10:30pm when I was asleep. The next morning I tried to think of more local free things to do that she would prefer that she could join into but I couldn't so I text her to say that I'm going to the farm at 9:30am with Bpear and then she obviously woke up and I got a massive amount of abusive texts during the day saying that I am selfish, inconsiderate and that I can't even go at a considerate time for her. She has no family, no house to run, no job, no commitments and just absolutely no clue what it feels like to be 35 weeks pregnant with a toddler. Anyway, it's left a horrible taste in my mouth and I hate arguing over such pathetic situations like this with her. I wish I could wind back the clock and never have invited her! Mega Frustrating but now I need put my Hypnobirthing tools into practise and blow her away in the clouds I really want to text her now and give her a peace of my mind but I know I need to just walk away Even though her last text says she's not a robot and I should considerate her feelings more...has wound me up no end as that's all I ever do!!!

Agnu - all my fx crossed AF stays away

She sounds delightful pear! Don't hyperventilate blowing all that frustration at the clouds!

Still nothing to report, except that my breasts are tender & I'm ridiculously emotional. I googled ways of announcing pregnancy & got all tearful, even at ones just saying "I sent him a text"!

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