December 2012: The one were they are stubborn Monkeys

[halestone]

New thread for us.

I was spraying for ants today (massive infestation) and the state of my skirting boards is dreadful.

DS dropped his nap in the day of his 2nd birthday party. He'll have one if I drive him too late but I dont do that anymore as he only goes to be at 10pm if he has so much as 30 seconds nap.

Frazzled lemon juice on ants (or aunts as he often mispronounces it ) is Dh's top tip.... I'll let you know if it works.

Are we being too mean?
Da has been driving us extra nuts lately. Hitting, spitting and biting really often when we say no or when trying to carry him upstairs for a nappy change. He has also started biting DD. he will be playing and then he will just move over to her, maybe kiss her and then bite her. It makes me really angry and I have tried everything to

Argh stupid phone!

Everything to try and get him to stop. He says sorry (especially to DD) almost instantly but it's just the fact that he keeps doing it. I'm hoping it is related to tiredness.
Today we limited his nap to an hour and he has gone off easily tonight.

So, at dinner time he kept getting down from the table and was going to play in his kitchen. Fine.
Then...
He started chucking all the bits around. We ignored him.
He started banging the pans on the kitchen. We ignored him. He got louder and louder. (The pans have a dozen little dents or so each now)
So we told him he had 4 more minutes of playing and then it would be time to clean up.

He didn't help clean up.
We told him that Father Christmas will come tonight and take away the kitchen.

We have really had enough of shouting, trying to reason, distracting him and trying to get him to feel like he is in charge and make the right decision himself.

We are exhausted!

It doesn't help that DD has had a cold for about 85% of the last 6 weeks and sometimes keeps us up for over an hour in the middle of the night...
But is this too mean??

And I'm sorry for the giant essay.

Same here, Nutella I was just coming on to ask if anyone else spends their entire time dealing with behaviour!!

I countdown from 5. So in your case I'd say "you need to stop banging please, ds" then if he didn't stop "if you don't stop banging I will remove the pans" then "pans are going away in 5...4...3...2...1..." And put them out of his reach. I rarely get past second warning or 5 but always make sure the consequence is immediate (eg TV off, going straight home instead of buying a great or going to the park first etc) or he won't make the connection. Sometimes I think he just needs to have the tantrum so I almost provoke it? And some days I'm grumpier than others so come down harder but it seems to work. He gets a lot of praise for pulling his behaviour round because ime that's harder than just being good iyswim?

Ds is pretty good tbh but dd is an absolute monster. OMG I swear the only reason she gets up in the morning is to wind me up. She's rude, she completely ignores everything I say, she screams, she cries and she generally just doesn't give a shit. So I wouldn't come to me for parenting advice

Sorry you're struggling Nutella, it does sound like hard work. I agree with immediate consequences. I don't know what to say about the biting and hitting Ds hits sometimes. Sigh.

We do the exact same thing with H as Delad does with her DS. Sorry your having a hard time with DS, if it helps H is being very challenging recently. I have also started telling her that if your good all morning we can paint/play on the park/dance this afternoon etc. If shes starts to act up we remind her and that seems to be helping. If she is naughty she doesn't get to do the thing and we explain why.

WL Happy Birthday to Dd2

yup. We do a warning, "do x now or... 1...2...3.." Etc etc. consequences are instant and I try to keep it proportionate and not over the top.

Distract (you'd be amazed how many cats disappear just when DS is almost there ). And also letting him make his own choices...

"DS you can cycle into that giant puddle but then you'll be wet and we'll have to go home. We won't be able to go shopping. "

He turned around and left the puddle alone hurrah! But this evening we were just worn out. I really can't keep it up all day. He is testing and testing and pushing and pushing alllllll day long!

Then he throws his arms around my neck and says "Mummy Gorgeous" and I'm sure the little bugger knows exactly what he is up to!!

And happy 5th Birthday WL's DD

The kitchen is now hiding at our neighbour's for a few days... We made the threat and we have to stick to it. That's what we decided.

Oh yes WL happy birthday to dd2

R's current one when he's being particularly annoying is "cuddle baby". Then I get pissed off because he kicks, shoves, pokes me in his climbing and we start all over again from 5

nutella as hard as it is right now, your rewards will come. You are setting the foundations for good behaviours later when he is out of this 'phase'. All of mine behave worse when tired or hungry but sometimes they just need to push for a while and have the boundaries reinforced.

So today I cleaned my entire house, top to bottom, painted my fence and painted over all of Jamie's artwork on the walls.

My house is now b-e-a-u-tiful!

Jame has been pretty good the last week or so, but prior to that I was at the end of my tether. Hunger and sleep management is definitely the key, along with by the bucketload.

Yay Frazzled now come and do mine please

Delad how is your wedding top coming along?

Nutella, i hope this week is better for you with DS. With H i always find that she suddenly changes her behaviour when i very least expect it.

Excellent work frazzled. The thing that drives me most crazy about having dc is the inability to get on with stuff.
Dm has gone to stay with db for a week. Last night DH and I sat on the same sofa and watched a film - together - alone! This morning I got a few garden jobs done.
It feels so nice to have our house ourselves - I feel awful saying that especially as she looked quite apprehensive going off. I think she's a bit nervous at db pushing her indpendence a bit hard and about missing the dds.

Stalled over the weekend as I was feeling poorly but about to have lunch and tackle it again!

WL, it doesn't sound awful, it sounds normal. I use to think like that when my sisters helped me out with my dad. Also i hope you have a lovely week together.

My life hasn't half changed i was thrilled that i managed to get 4 washloads done and 3 of them out on the line. I was so happy pegging it out ha.

Ds has such a bad cough he's just been sick all on dh's pillow haha poor monkey think he's finally fallen back to sleep.

Spotty poor DS! But him being sick on dh's pillow did make me chuckle somewhat darkly I have a cupboard full of cough drugs now.

But I'm not sharing until DD is over her cough! We've got inhalers for her and we've been told not to stop using the one you only take morning and evening until the end of the month

WL I'm so glad you're getting the chance to rest. I hope you enjoy it and have a lovely time with DH!

Well, Dd woke at about 10 last night and coughed and was hysterical for a bit. Calmed her down and gave her every possible medicine we could and she eventually went back to sleep a bit after midnight.

Then, DS had his earliest ever wake up at 5:45 this morning....

But actually I would put today down as a success! I've been working really hard today on engaging him and giving him options and letting him pick.

He does respond really well..... It feels good to engage with him.

Now all I need to do is stop DH from constantly threatening to give his toys back to Santa he'll have nothing left by the end of the week and engage in my strategy instead.

I am in abit of shock. I know it is a bad habit but H has always gone to sleep in my bed then i've transferred her to her own bed when she is asleep. Tonight she has come upstairs and demanded we go to sleep in her bed. FX this is a regular thing as she is getting too heavy for me to transfer over. ( I know i should leave her to self settle, but i also know she wouldn't do that and i need some time to myself so i've stuck with this way)

That's great hales. Don't beat yourself up about the way you do/have done things. You do what you need to do at the time and can always change it later if you want/need to.
I was also in shock - T got up after going to bed and stood be her door (she doesn't come right out for some reason), I was reading with dd2 and called out firmly to go back to bed, and she did! I checked a bit later and she was in bed asleep!

DS used to self settle and when the clocks changed he started refusing to go to bed. Now I have to get him to sleep in my bed and then transfer him or not as it stops me feeling lonely.

That's great hales. I wouldn't worry about stuff like that though, as WL said, whatever works for you.

I don't know how long nursery let DS sleep... He has been in bed for 1.5 hours now. I have been up and put a nappy back on him and taken out anything remotely soggy / smelly from his bed.

They won't wake him after 1 hour. Don't ask. Everything you need to know is covered by the cliche that Germans are weird about odd things.

So I guess it's no nap for him tomorrow at nursery.