April 2015 - The babies are arriving thick and fast

[TheBooMonster]

The Antenatal thread is here

the stats thread is here snd the spreadsheet is here

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Oops only 4.45am and picked an argument with OH as soon as his eyes have opened.
AIBU to say that he's useless when I asked if he could make a bottle (when his alarm went off) and he asked if it could wait. I said obviously not, I'll do it myself. Got up carrying DS in his Moses basket, went for a wee, did his bottle and changed his nappy and went back to bed to see OH not fully asleep. Within minutes he was up and getting ready. I told him I was pissed off with him because I don't wake him up in the night so should think himself lucky, and he doesn't ever change a nappy either. He says I should ask! I said that I shouldn't have to!
Grrr

Love a good AIBU...

RL - YANBU! DS is his baby too. If he was getting up anyway what's the harm in making a bottle? And he's never done a nappy? This needs to change!

we are having an ok night as well, she cluster fed from 8pm - 1am but has only just woke up for a feed. I'm using a nipple shield because I have a blood blister on my nipple and it is very sore the shield makes it feel a lot better.

RL how annoying he needs to start pulling his weight especially as you are bottle feeding he can definitely help.

that's what I said to him - he's your son as much as he is mine.
I would never complain but I am with him all day and although he helps a bit when he gets in from work, sometimes that's not until a bit later on in the evening and then we go to bed and I'm up all night again. From today I'm going to try and nap when he does in the day as I haven't as yet.
As awful as it sounds it does make me feel a bit like a single mum

Oh RL sorry to hear he's still not helping out. Make him do nappy changes while you're making the bottle or something!

I had to change mine a few years ago Lauren82000 as it stopped working. I'm sweating a lot at night but don't smell because of it.

Sam only fed at 6.30, 8 and 10 in the evening so not his usuAl most of the eve cluster feed so was up at 12.30, 3 (then randomly 4 for a quick suck) and just woke at 6. Not bad I guess but with 30 mins + up each time not ideal. Last night he went from 10-3, wish it was more consistent!

Not at all unreasonable RL20, especially seeing as he was up anyway and you could have dozed for 10mins after being up. My dh hasn't chsnged a nappy yet either, I tend to do it with feeds and as I do all the feeding seems daft to hand him over for it. He does lots of settling him though

Hope your blood blister heals soon wineandchoccy

y a ready made bottle of formula say 120ml or whatever for a 8.8lb baby when I've read a 4 day old only needs 20ml a feed? I caved in and gave him some formula just in case I wasn't giving him enough and he had roughly 20ml then spat the teat out. Have been putting him onto breast too and he's just had 30 mins trialling the rugby ball hold. God the snuffles he makes are so cute.

5 day check with MW today.

Still feel totally inadequate but sure it will get there :)

just need to learn his cries. Presuming if he's crying and not rooting around or thrashing it's an attention cry for picking up and cuddles. It's so confusing!

I can't add to the night sweats mine are more night shivers I get so cold got 2

Cat pressed post lol. Was saying got 2hrs sleep from 6-8am. I also had a doze wirh him on my chest.

You're all so kind and helpful thank you.

PenguinPoser DD1 14th March
TinyTear DD2 31st March
Daholster DS1 (DC2) 9th April
Cinnamongreyhound DS3 10th April
FiRaffe DS1 11th April
Wineandchoccy DD1 11th April
Brixtonbunny DD1 12th April
SquattingNeville DD1 13th April
mswibble DS1 18th April
Hidingthefear DS1 21st April
RL20 DS1 21st April
IvegotaCaveTroll DD1 10th April
Brummagem DS1 3rd May

Yeah, Brum. I feel so confused. Baby seems to feed every 1-1.5 hours at moment. Sometimes we get a good 20 min plus suck then she snoozes and goes back on. Other times it's 5 mins then asleep. Are you hungry or just comfort sucking! Ah!

RL, that's just rude of your partner. He needs to up his game.

Im feeling so rubbish at this. I feed the baby but my c section scar hurts as I've been bending and trying to sit up too much,so I feed the baby and pass to DH to settle in cot and I then pass out only to be woken an hour or so later by a scream to feed again and I ask DH if she slept and he says no, so he's been awake for that whole time shushing her. I need them both to sleep. I feel so terrible.

RL YANBU!!!! My partner does all the nappy changes when he's home (apart from in the night - I'm breastfeeding so have to be the one up and no point us both waking up - though saying that he woke up at 4 this morning and insisted on changing her then too). He doesn't see it as a chore because he genuinely enjoys it - it's a thing he can do for her as he can't feed her. It's sad that you should even have to ask your partner - he should just be doing it! Especially when he's at work all day, you think he's get home and be desperate to spend time with his son.

I'm sorry you feel so unsupported, big big hugs. It's so sad that you are made to feel like this.

Hope your check goes well brummagem.
The cries are hard to learn! DS is 2weeks 3days today and I think I'm just about grasping what his cries mean. It's awful to see when he is constipated though because I can tell it's a painful cry and there's not a lot you can do to help .

Cinnamon my OH does a lot of the settling too (...just not in the night ) so I felt a bit awful shouting at 4.45am that he's useless. I sent him a text when he'd left for work apologising but also telling him that he needs to start changing nappies etc, well he said to ask!

Not sure what to do with Max today. Haven't got a lot of money, my mum is at work, and I've left the pram at hers so a walk is out of the question, hmm.

Brixton I know. When he gets back he does always want to hold him and give him a feed if he's due one, and then settles him but it's perhaps the only time that he does all of that x

RL do you have a sling you can take him out in? Mine is a lifesaver, it's so easy - pop her in it, grab a bag, and leave! If you don't I really recommend them, you can get all sorts so I'm sure you could get some second hand ones on ebay xx

Brummagem don't doubt yourself! It's easy to say now but I doubted myself so much with the feeding. If baby is wetting and dirtying nappies then he is definitely getting what he needs from you. Has your milk come in yet?

Kismac you need your rest so don't worry about your DH settling baby - your body has been through an awful lot and needs to recover. DH will get his rest when you're feeding etc, and he probably doesn't need as much rest as you at the moment.

Had a slightly better night except for DH sleeping in so leaving me hardly any time for a shower before he went to work. Good job dd woke us up at 7.15! Off to our la leche league counsellor appointment at lunchtime to check positioning and latch. Then need to go collect an order from next and boots so might go and see my dad as the shopping centre is on the way there.

RL can you get out in the car anywhere? Or do you have a yard or garden you could sit in if it's warm?

Oh and it's taken me almost 8 weeks to even begin to work out what her different cries mean!

Lauren have you tried trusty old Mitcham? I've never sweated through it yet. The stick roll on one is the best as you don't have to wait for it to dry before getting dressed (I can never work aerosols - always get my aim wrong).

RL of course you're not BU. what's this about not doing nappies? Why not?

Brum, kismac - we're still guessing as to what DS wants when he won't settle, you'd think we'd have a better idea having gone through it all with DD!

kismac - get yourself a womb machine you clip to edge of Moses basket and it makes noises that helps lull them to sleep.

RL I agree with Brixton re slings. I pop DS in one when I take DD to nursery in the morning as the school run around here means pavements are really congested with buggies and it slows us down. So easy for quick outings, esp now as the babies aren't at all heavy.

Trying to feed DS but he is so obsessed with the black and white stripes on my top that he won't latch on so I have meanly popped him on playmat for five mins to try to force him to be hungry enough

Yes I've been thinking about the slings because I've seen some of you talk about them on here. Will have to look out for one! I seen some in mothercare a while ago but never looked at the prices.

No garden here penguin as were in a flat . Mum is bringing the pushchair over though so that's an option for later. For now I'm going to make a quick something to eat and do some washing - hate the sight of dirty clothes piling up

lauren I am the same re sweating. I PONG! Every morning I wake feeling disgusting but most mornings, like today, I don't get the chance to shower until lunchtime, early afternoon. Bleurgh! And the constant leaking isn't helping either, honestly I feel so disgusting at the moment.

Feel awful, absolutely awful. We've got BFing pretty much sorted on The left side. I can feed him sat up now so really happy with that. However the right side is just pot luck whether or not he latches on. I've just fed him, left side done and when trying to get him on the right he has just screamed and squirmed around. Its so hard to manouvere him and he throws himself around, tries to move my hand away and then cries even more because he can't latch by himself. I've had to put him in his pram with a dummy because I could feel myself getting really frustrated too, I can't shout at a barely three week old baby but honestly I get so close to shouting at him sometimes. Feel terrible admitting that. Will feel better when I finally get a visit from the breastfeeding support worker.

Mswibble don't feel bad about being frustrated. My ds fusses so much sometime at the boob - he pushes me away with his hands, thrashes his head around and then gets pissed off that he isn't getting any food. The comm mw suggested swaddling his arms before a feed, so maybe a muslin wrapped around might help?

My boy is having a fussy day - feeding for about five mins and then falling asleep for 20 mins before kicking off again. It's very annoying when he can't seem to make up his mind!

I can't cut and paste on my phone, but if anyone is able to add me to the stats:
Jetpackplease, DS1 (DC1), 19th April 2015

We're having a fussy day too today. Feeding hourly which is a new one... and my boobs are killing, possibly thrush but possibly just from over use! He has been feeding like a mad thing for the past few days.

Got a doc appt on wed because his belly button is still weeping. Will get everything checked out then.

I really shouted at dh this morning RL20 after replying to your post! I was feeding while he unloaded dishwasher and got bowls etc out for breakfast (I feed my boys plus 4 minded children) and made tea/coffee then came up. I was still feeding when he came up and he said are you walking dogs I said I would if Sam finished in time. He carried on feeding and time was getting short but he dropped off so I thought I'd go but then he woke up, he said I shouldn't have said I would walk them if I wasn't going to and he'd sort Sam. Of course when I got back he was awake and I had to shower with him crying. I cried and shouted at dh to go to work. I want to do it because I enjoy it and he hates it but if there isn't time I don't want to spend the rest of the morning being stressed out just so he can sit next to me on the bed while I feed. I have to answer the door three times, get my boys and myself ready and feed everyone and get out of the door by 8.20 for first school drop off so it's not as if I sit around doing nothing but he obviously thought I'd been unreasonable and just wanted me to ask whereas I wanted him to see it was getting late and just go!

Brummagem I'm on my third and still don't know the cries! I can have a good guess and like today when he'd dropped off feeding but then got woken up I tried to resettle him but he just got more upset, I knew he was just tired but I fed him anyway in the end as it was the easiest way to get him to drift off, no harm in that. Try to give yourself a break and only give formula if it's what you want to do, feeding can be very unsettled in the beginning with clusters and then breaks.

Don't feel bad about that mswibble, Sam constantly tries to latch while trying to shove both fists in while Im trying to latch him and then gets very cross! I get frustrated especially with other things going on around.

PenguinPoser DD1 14th March
TinyTear DD2 31st March
Daholster DS1 (DC2) 9th April
Cinnamongreyhound DS3 10th April
IvegotaCaveTroll DD1 10th April
FiRaffe DS1 11th April
Wineandchoccy DD1 11th April
Brixtonbunny DD1 12th April
SquattingNeville DD1 13th April
mswibble DS1 18th April
Jetpackplease, DS1 (DC1), 19th April 2015
Hidingthefear DS1 21st April
RL20 DS1 21st April
Brummagem DS1 3rd May

Oh yes I know the 'I want milk but i'm going to suck my fist instead as you're trying to get me to latch'..... not very helpful!

Aww so glad you've mentioned baby squirming. She's forever trying to suck her hands and latch at sometime and goes mental. I feel I constantly have to wrestle with her.

Midwife been today and I cried today. Im just upset that she seems upset and I don't know how to help. I can settle her fine on me but just can't get her in the damn cot. Plus she's only gained 10g in two days so feeling gutted. But on a positive note, I used nipple shields and pumped yesterday and my nipples felt so much better so have done all the feeds today without the shield. The last feed was pain free and she really seemed to be sucking hard so maybe I've got the latch sorted.