April 2015 - The babies are arriving thick and fast

[TheBooMonster]

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Thanks all. I realise I basically ask the same question all the time so thanks for being patient!

DS is bringing up a fair bit of milk from time to time - not every day and invariably in the evening. It's quite depressing when youve just done a good feed!

On the plus side I have put him down for two daytime naps in his basket in a dark room today, first nearly an hour and then a mammoth three hour one in the afternoon. So I got to eat lunch with our friends today when they visited without having him feeding or attached to me.he also slept through DD and her friend screaming, shouting and running amok.

Brummagem I do what cinnamon said - I just mix milk in the fridge even though ideally it should be the same temperature. Seems to be fine. I don't want to stimulate oversupply so I only express a little a day and mix it for one feed every few days.

Hope you're ok FiRaffe

Smogs dd sometimes brings up loads of milk too but not every feed. I agree it's depressing! She generally then declared herself hungry again. She doesn't seem bothered by it so I'm not too worried.

I'm pleased as I went for a lovely walk on the beach this morning, mowed the grass this afternoon and have been for food with DH and friends with their baby too. DD was quite unsettled and I had to keep feeding her and she's heavy to hold without my feeding cushions!

Not sure what's wrong, but wonder if it's linked to the painful breasts. At my 6 week appointment the doctor said to finish the course of antibiotics then go back. Should finish them today and I don't see any improvements yet.

Can you prop him on his side cinnamon? Might he sleep better that way and won't be able to lie on his front. Also is his sleeping bag warm? don't know if it will help but we get better sleeps if DS's swaddle is warmed ready to wrap him in.

Good news on the naps smogs. Hopefully he'll keep it going at night too!

That's a productive day Penguin. I managed to do an online shop and walk into the village to get stuff to tide us over until Monday. I think I need to adjust my expectations of what I can do in a day now!

I think you need to push your GP to do something FiRaffe. If the antibiotics haven't worked you need someone to look closer. It's unusually for both to hurt with mastitis, when I had it it was one particular painful place not general pain and only one. Mine are sometimes uncomfortable/sore (the breast not nipple) but not in an engorged way just in a kind of they're busy doing a lot so we don't feel normal kind of way. It's still early days of production settling down and ceratainly mine are very full during the longer night time gap between feeds but quickly go back to feeling less full after he's had his feed. It's so hard to know from comparing to others but pain in both breasts all the time is certainly not normal and needs to be dealt with.

We had an unsettled night! I babysat until 10.30 so Sam woke when we came home I changed and fed him 11.30ish and then fell asleep until 1 on the sofa. Dh and I then had a huge fight which woke Sam up and he didn't go back to sleep until 2.30 and was up again 5.30. He went back to sleep around 6.30 and I dozed with him until 8. The thing is I feel really sad, this is the third night dh and I have argued. There isn't any point in me explaining as there are always two sides and I may well be in the wrong but he won't admit he did anything wrong. He says sorry and wants to make up but he's sorry we fought not sorry for how he behaved. I've explained to him how I feel this morning but he says he is aware that he doesn't want to argue anymore and that will make it better but if he won't admit he did anything wrong then how can it not happen again? I've been very honest and said this is what I believe I did wrong and I'm sorry for that but I won't apologise for something I feel he is in the wrong for. We are being normal with each other but I actually don't want to be around him because in his heart he thinks I did something that I don't think I did and he's not sorry at all he just doesn't want to fight. We had planned to go out today and still are but I don't want to be with him and we have to go to my mums for the day with my family and be happy and smiley for her birthday and I don't want to. We've had a really long discussion this morning and he still feels the same, it's a long going thing in our relationship where he feels I'm having a go at him when I'm not and then blows up. I've asked him time and time again if he can take it two ways to take it the better way as that's most likely how it's meant but he just can't. I feel like I have coped very well with being pregnant and having a newborn and he is just so tired and grumpy and struggling. I don't really know what to do as although I feel much better this time around and I am coping with the lack of sleep I don't feel I have enough left after looking after my kids, the house and working full time to prop him up which sounds horrible as that's what I'm supposed to do as his wife. Since he's gone back to work he's been falling asleep evenings and snapping at everyone and I understand it but I can't deal with it when I feel I have plenty on my plate and I'm managing and then I feel horribly selfish to think that. I'm doing all the feeding and changing and still working, getting kids ready, cooking meals, packing lunches, doing half the dog walks, all the washing and ironing and as much cleaning as I can muster the tim/energy for and I'm not bitin everyone's heads off every 5 mins. BUT having said that that is only my side of it and maybe I'm expecting too much of him, he is older than me, he is doing a long commute with a stressful job and having a small baby to look after and he does do a lot of soothing when needed in the evenings or extra bedtimes with the older two if Im feeding and it was me who wanted a baby after all so perhaps I'm just being unfair and need to sort myself out, I just feel so sad that he can't say yes maybe I am overreacting a bit to something silly because I'm tired rather than telling me I was solely in the wrong and he's sorry we fought but not sorry for his behaviour.

FiRaffe I agree with cinnamon about the pain. I get the same sort of a aches as cinnamon but defo not all the time. Is there a female GP who's had kids you can ask for?

Cinnamon I think everyone on this thread has been in awe of you all through the pregnancy and early days of your new baby what with your running, childminding and other commitments as well as bringing up your older boys. Sending big hugs and hoping DH and you might get an hour or so by yourselves maybe out of the house to try and talk again? Good luck getting through today. Not going to weigh in against your DH here as that's not going to help you xxx

Sorry to hear about your row cinnamon. I agree with what smogsville said above. It sounds really difficult. I hope you get through today ok and maybe get some more time to talk later. I wonder if some more time to think about things will change your DH opinion about if he is in the wrong about anything. Tiredness doesn't help anything and puts strain on the most robust of relationships. You've got so much on your plate and the way you're coping is admirable.

I will be back on Tuesday and see what we can do!

Cinnamon, so sorry to hear you're upset and had a fight again with your DH. You are doing an amazing job and I hope he realises that. Yes it is tough and tiring for him too but there is no need to take it out on you. Could you two have an evening together and talk it out properly before it boils over more?

Sorry to hear that you had a row cinnamon I think you sound like you cope amazingly well with 3 children, a stepson, dogs, back to work so soon and everything else that being a mum/wife entails so it's no surprise you are tired. I hope today is ok and you and DH get some time alone to talk

Sorry to hear you and DH have been falling out cinammon. It sounds like you're both suffering with the tiredness and you have so much going on. The exhaustion can mean that communication suffers and everything gets taken the wrong way or out of proportion. You are doing amazingly, so try to hold on to that.

It's been a hellish week here. Ds has become extremely windy, colicky and refluxy. He does the smelliest farts but often has to strain to get then out. We have lots of crying, fussiness and fighting the breast in the mornings and evenings. He has been more sicky too and puking over me and himself several times a day. The last few nights he has been writhing in his sleep a lot more than usual and I think it's waking him up. He has been waking every 40-60 mins at night after I put him down. I've hardly slept. He is also doing the same during the day, having tiny feeds, dozing then wanting more food and repeating the cycle. DH is helping by giving expressed bottles during the day so I can nap, but I'm going out of my mind with exhaustion. I don't know how I will cope when DH is at work if ds keeps this up

Oh jetpack sorry to hear that. We're suffering something similar here, make the most of DH but you come up with coping mechanisms.
For example, if you get a few mins in the morning he's asleep and you get breakfast make a sandwich for lunch and put it in the fridge... it's sods law he'll cry and want to feed just as you are hungry.
It is horrible and heartbreaking but sometimes you'll have to put him down and let him cry... If you need to go to the loo or need more drink you have to do it.
I've cried on DS too many times in his 6 week life so far, but you will get there and I hope your little one gets better really soon

Oh Cinnamon, really sorry that you've had a row. I echo what everyone else has said about you doing an amazing job and that lack of sleep does make everything worse. I hope you manage to patch things up very soon.

Oh no, Jet. That sounds really tough. Can you maybe check in with your doctor/pharmacist and see if there is something they can prescribe that might help.

We went out for DH's birthday yesterday and it was really nice. We were only out for 2 hours but it was lovely to have some alone time. Tried to tank her up before we left but my mum had to give her 3 oz expressed milk which turned out to be great as I then did a short feed at 9pm and she then slept until 2am! Woo!

Wee day out today and we took some snaps of her sitting by the loch and in the woodlands. It was very cute.

DH is back to work tomorrow. Feeling wee bit scared to be left on my own. Plus bit annoyed as pram is too heavy to lift so on outings for me but will hopefully manage a wee sit in the garden instead.

Thanks Fi and Kismac. I love ds so much but it's really hard to enjoy him when I'm so exhausted. Will try to get to the GP, I'm just loathe to give him anything that might cause constipation, which I understand the reflux remedies can, as it just seems like replacing one problem with another. The infacol and gripe water have done nothing to help his wind

Kismac it's great you got some time out. You will be ok without your DH, I'm sure. I did 3 days alone last week. The first one I cried a lot because ds was so colicky, but the second two were better because he was more settled (before this current round of sleepless nights kicked in). If you find it hard to get out because of the pram, can you get a sling to try instead? But being in the garden will also be lovely if the weather is good (it's been peeing down today here).

You'll be pleased ladies. There is usually someone around for support if needed

Thank you all for your support! Funny how you can go from feeling so optimistic about a lovely long weekend to feeling very emotional. Despite saying we were friends dh has taken offence at everything I've said today, he's just gone to bed feeling sick and we had a little chat before he went that I haven't meant any of it personally. He woke me up in the car as I didn't. Have time to sleep much and would be grumpy which p'd me off amd a couple of bits of meat he cooked on the bbq at my mums were a bit pink so I didn't eat them which was of course me critising. The show was good but we didn't have time to enter the dogs in any of the rings as we had to be at my mums, Sam slept in the sling but was then grumpy and unsettled all day at my mums. He was either feeding or trying to be settled by someone with a few short bits of sleep until about 6 when everyone went in the garden, I stayed in as it was cold and dh seemed to want to stay away from me and my mum bought him in after 15 mins in the garden I fell asleep on the sofa with him apart from him stirring and me waking to reattach him. Got up at 7.15 changed him fed him from other side and he's been asleep since. Ds2 has a high temp and was shivering by 7.30 so I'm likely to be up with him during the night as well as night feeds. What a whinger!!!!

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time jetpackplease! Hope you get some help from gp amd have a better night.

Sounds like a lovely couple of days kismac! I agree about trying to get a sling, where do you need to lift the pram?

Cinnamon sorry things are still rubbish. Have replied to you on FB in more detail. Kismac hope you get on ok first day by yourself. It's very daunting but you quickly get used to it and will become a pro at getting out in the next few weeks. Is there pram lifting involved in getting it out of the house? Definitely get a sling if you can so you can go for walks etc

Jetpack sounds like you're having s rough time too I hope it passes soon. Touch wood dd is less windy and colicky recently - she's 10 weeks now and fingers crossed she's growing out of it so there is hope! If you're concerned do contact the GP or hv for a check up. In the meantime for the sake of some sleep can you safely co sleep for part of the night? Might help I find when dd is waking on a morning she'll settle better if next to me and I don't sleep well then but can doze.

FiRaffe I'm not sure what's going on with your boobs but definitely see your GP to check for problems and if it's still going on then maybe try lactation consultant from LLL or something to see if it's feeding related to do with positioning or latch or anything?

Fingers crossed for settled nights all round.

Definitely hope everyone has a good night. Had some sleep which makes everything more tolerable... hopefully we have a good night again.

Need to pump again in a min.... It is great being able to get DH to offer a bottle while i'm waking properly but the extra time awake is frustrating! Do people get much pumping? I had been getting 4oz at first but lately it's been only 2oz ish. No idea if that's just that DS is eating more or what!

You supply should settle down a bit FiRaffe which may decrease how much you can pump but not how much ds is getting. Do you need to pump at night rather than morning?

Ds1 woke me at 1 feeling sick and Sam was stirring. Not sure if he was waking anyway because he went to sleep around 8 or if ds1 woke him. He's just dropping off now and ds1 has been sick and gone to sleep so hoping that's it for the night but could be optimistic!

Bugger my post got lost!

Do you need to pump at night FiRaffe, rather than the morning? Once your supply settles you may find you can't express as much as ds will trigger a bigger let down than a pump and doesn't mean he's getting less at all.

Ds1 woke at 1 feeling sick, he's been sick and gone back to sleep. Not sure if he woke sam or if he was just up earlier than usual for his feed as he was asleep by 8. He's just dropped off now for second time so will attempt to put him down again and go back to bed!

Attempt no 3 to put him down, it seems he must keep a wake for at least an hour each time!

Hope both your boys are settled cinnamon and that your ds1 isn't coming down with anything!

FiRaffe are you still doing the combination of expressing and on boob? Hope it's going ok. Expressing is a bit of a pain. I only do it once a day normally on morning and stop once I get to 2oz normally (which is good for me!) and add it to the bottle I've got going in the fridge. When I get 4-5oz (normally over 2-3 days!) dd gets the bottle and any extra gets frozen.

Hoping she goes back down after this feed as its still a bit early to take her in bed with us if I want some more comfy sleep!

What's anyone's bank holiday plans? We have SiL and her friend who's pregnant coming round in morning and visiting my gran later on.

jetpack sorry you are having a rough time. Dd has colic as well but she is 6 weeks now and fingers crossed she seems a lot better in the past few days so I hope your DS improves quickly. Are you using maximum dose of infacol? Have you tried colief, it is supposed to help. In the past few days we have been giving her a bath in the evening and massaging her tummy and legs with pure olive oil which has led to better sleep.

Hope you and your boys are all asleep cinnamon

penguin not very exciting plans here I'm afraid, we are off to Homebase to buy paving stones to finish our back garden off. Hopefully dd will have a sleep in her pram and I will do some weeding and tidying in the front garden because it's been neglected in the past few weeks.

I'm having to express because it hurts so much to feed him sometimes. The pump is much less painful so at least he can get a good feed and there is more ready for the next one.

When you're giving ebm do you throw away the rest if they haven't finished a bottle as you would formula?

FiRaffe sorry I can't help with the expressing questions because I'm ebf and not expressed yet. Has your DS been checked for tongue tie? Dd had hers snipped 2 weeks ago and feeding has improved and it doesn't hurt any more.

Dd has just fed from both sides and had that milk drunk look when I put her down I hope now she has a full tummy she sleeps for a few more hours because I'm still tired.

Yes firaffe I throw away expressed milk if it's in the bottle and not finished. when I store it I do it in small quantities and top up the bottle if needed so there's less wastage. Dwindled my supplies down now so I need to get back into the habit of expressing. My step mum used 8oz last Sunday when she had him for a couple of hours while I had a break. Only have 3 oz on freezer now :(

Oh and yes my pumping volume has decreased. I think it's coz ds takes more at the feed so there's not as much left. Only been gettin 1-2oz rather than 4 last few times.