sept 2014: babies are here (or coming soon!)

[allisgood1]

Even though dc3 is end of August, thought I'd start a sept thread :-)

How are you all doing?

dS1 is 9 dats old. Feeding well and surely sleeping well but it's hard to know as I keep falling asleep at night feeding him!

Nazly he slept 10.30 til 4.30 in the end - at which point I woke him as I was getting concerned as he'd last fed at about 9.30. I think he would have slept longer if I hadn't woken him.

The HV has been today, and said that I was right to wake him as it was too long between feeds for his age.

That last feed was the first I'd managed from the breast since Thursday. I've been expressing over the weekend as I'd had so many problems getting him to latch on. It seemed like my boobs were too full... Fast forward to today and it turns out this can be a reason for bad latch. I'm really pissed at this as none of the literature has this as a possible reason and it sounds to me like this must be a really common one; the solution being to: express! Instead I've just been feeling shit as my body seemed the wrong shape.

Thanks Ilove and allisgood - found It online ... Will order it tonight ...

My memory is very bad and no time to go back review, sorry - somebody suggested using sling to me; I want to order one, just feel the soft structured ones (like bbjorn original) are safer and more comfortable for mums than the ones only from soft fabrics... Can I have your opinions ladies... I need to order one ...

P.S. Sorry for duplicating

Red that's interesting; my LO never sleeps that long, and he just makes such a fuss if hungry...

How do you mean the wrong body shape? I haven't seen full breast as a problem in literature either, but I can see how that maybe an issue for a tiny baby... I am pretty sure when he gets bigger he would not have problem with full breasts or fast flow... I guess just a little bit of expressing would be all that's needed before bf?

I was in a baby cafe today in our area and I totally suggest it if you have one near you...

Basically if my boobs are too full, then my nipples stay flat and can't extend enough for him to latch on.

Red you should find that settles reasonably quickly (the too full part). My boobs are huge anyway but turned into a pair of solid melons once dd was born and milk came in. After a couple of weeks it really settled down and as long as I didn't miss feeds it was ok.
Don't feel bad or that you've the 'wrong' shape. It's just your body getting used to having milk and feeding.

Has anyone bathed baby yet? I've been putting it off, I'm terrified! She doesn't much like topping & tailing as it is, I'm expecting her to scream blue murder & scared of her slipping out my hands!

Hi, I've not posted here before but looking for a bit of support. DS was born on Sunday, three weeks early so a bit of a surprise. I'm feeling so anxious :( I'm a bit if an anxious person anyway, I get butterflies in my tummy and feel sick. The thought that this baby is mine and the potential sleep deprivation is making me feel so nervous. I'm wobbly anyway due to loss of blood which isn't helping but I guess I'm just after a bit of reassurance. I worry about not sleeping which means when he's down and sleeping, I then can't sleep! He also will not settle unless on either me or DH, how is this going to work?! Especially when DH goes back work, which I'm dreading already. :( feel so teary but trying to hold it in so we don't both get stressed. Is anyone else feeling like this?

Nazly, I prefer the moby sling but it's not like the bjorn.

Red, I have the same problem when boobs are too full.

Dinah, baby has a shower with daddy and then I go in and get him when he's done. We've done this with the other two as well when they were this small and it worked a lot better all round.

Honey, welcome and congratulations have you mentioned to your midwife or health visitor how you are feeling? I think you need some support. It's completely normal for babies to only settle on you, they were inside you for 9 months and feel secure in your arms. Hang in there as it does get better. Also invest in a good sling and research safe positions to breastfeed and co sleep. You need sleep.

honey it is a shock to the system, and probably more so since your son was so early. Try not to panic, although I was exactly the same when we first got home, every day gets a little better, and as you start to feel well again it will be better still. You are doing a great job already, do you have other family to support you when DH goes back to work? Keep talking to us, we're all facing the same challenges it's helps to know you are not alone. I'm often teary, but it's ok, we're allowed to be xxx

To be honest the feeling has only come on this evening so I haven't mentioned to the midwife. It's just so strong it's a bit overwhelming. I think I do need sleep. I don't know how to safely co sleep. I've kind of set myself up a nest on the sofa so I know I can't move and neither can DS and he is asleep on my chest. But of course I'm worried so can't really drift off. We bought a sling tonight from the local hospital, hopefully that will help tomorrow. I don't have much family support, everyone is still of an age where they work. There are some people around, how best can they help me? Sleep seems to be yet issue at the moment, perhaps I'm just a bit overwhelmed with exhaustion.

I would let someone take him for a few hours & go get some kip. Tiredness will overwhelm you, are you BFing? Can you express? You need to rest, make the room as dark as you can & try to switch off.

Yes BFing. Milk hasn't come in yet, so I'm conscious this might be happening which is why I feel so emotional. DH is sleeping at the moment and we agreed id try and make it to midnight before he picks up DS for a few hours. Maybe I'll feel better then when I get to sleep a bit. Think the hormones and the exhaustion are just overwhelming me.

1st few days r so tough honey. I think it's normal to feel overwhelmed. sounds like u have a good plan to get some sleep & everything will feel so much better after some rest.

Honey, I take it your baby is 3 / 4 days old now. In terms of feeling overwhelmed and emotional that was the night that it hit me most when the hormones kicked in, exhaustion got the better of me and my boobs exploded!

Just focus on getting through tonight. Even a couple of hours sleep will make things feel better.

allisgood1 Tue 09-Sep-14 21:09:45
Red, I have the same problem when boobs are too full.

Thank you! Glad someone understands what I mean. I did think it must be pretty common. Even more annoying about why they don't seem to say anything about this.

Thanks for the replies. It helps to know other people felt the same. Baby is only coming up to three days old so I'm sure hormones are a lot to blame for this! I'm sure before I know it I'll be asleep. Thank you for the support, it means so much and I'm sure I'll be back before long.

DearDinah given my LO is born mid August, yes we have bathed him several times... Don't worry about screaming you may be pleasantly surprised as your little one may love the water, the feeling is different with some damp cotton on your skin... I would only say a few things, I would do the first bath when someone is around to help, not on your own; then your OH can keep her and you can wash her; do it when she is happy and awake and recently fed imo; and have everything ready next to you, towel, clothes and anything you need for bathing, if she doesn't like it much and screams just do it very quickly, being only a few seconds in the clean water is good enough for first bath... She will get used to the idea soon...

Honey hope you feel better soon... My LO birth was very dramatic and I cried a lot in the first few days... It will pass... It is very difficult and overwhelming even with a normal birth... I'd say take it one step at a time x

Thank you naz. I think it was the sleep deprivation. Still no proper milk so can't be that. But I've now had a few hours thanks to my lovely DH and I'm feeling ok again. I can't believe what lack of sleep does to you, and I'm only three days in! Thank you to all that replied last night, I will definitely be sticking around on this thread. None of my friends have babies yet and already it's a bit isolating. Thank goodness for Mumsnet.

honey I could have written your post. I had a meltdown yesterday, it was just horrible. I'm pretty sure it's just lack of sleep and hormones. Mine also won't sleep not on someone too, though had a big breakthrough this morning when he slept in his Moses basket for 90 mins. I feel loads better for getting some sleep, DH sat up with him most of the night and just brought him to me for feeding every couple of hours.

I'm still worried about the feeding, just cannot get latched on well at all and getting blood blisters already. Annoyingly the midwife says I have massive good nipples for bf so not clear why I'm struggling so much. Going to try and get to some support groups for help, difficult when we waste so much time sitting in waiting for MW visits.

Acron I went to a baby cafe which was in our local hospital, it was brilliant, there was a nurse, a midwife, a trained lady for bf and a lactation consultant; you just drop in and they come around to talk to you... You could pay hundreds for this service in private and NHS just does free sessions like this... Totally recommend...you maybe missing a small thing like I was... They also prescribed something for my bruised nipples...

DS slept from 9-4:30 last night. I was so tired so didn't wake him but in hindsight should have he's been feeding non stop since. Today is definitely a glued to the sofa day.

Up feeding, middle of night here, need sleep...

If its any reassurance to those of you finding breastfeeding painful, sophie is the 4th dc I've bf (i worked out I've spent almost 4 years of my life bf so far ) and I still get sore nipples for first week or so. Its about 10 months since I last bf and took a few days for Sophie to get a decent latch, and it can still take a few goes, and for my nipples to start to toughen up a bit. Its only now she is week old that i don't have blisters on my nipples, though it still hurts a little when she latches on. as if they are bruised. It'll prob be another few days at least for nipples to toughen up enough for it not to be sore at all.

So what I'm saying is it is perfectly normal for bf to take a while for you both to get used to it. I don't think enough places say this and it puts a lot of pressure on mums who don't realise this. But believe me it does get easier!

Acorn I've just had DS, who is DC2. I bf DD for 14 months so thought it would be a piece of cake with DS. I could not get him to latch on yesterday. I was reading back through my old bookmarks and this is a really useful demo of the "nose to nipple" technique - the actual page is in Russian but ignore that, just look at the demo. By tapping baby on the nose with the nipple you're making him/her open their mouth wide enough to get the nipple in. You don't just want the nipple itself in, you also want some of the areola in there too.

users.i.kiev.ua/~vylkas/kinolatch.html

This link has some good advice on positions and how to get baby to latch on:

www.breastfeeding-problems.com/breastfeeding-positions.html

nazly thank you :) she had a quick bath this morning, mum helped & oh filmed it! She cried top & tail but liked being in the water itself, it was very reassuring, only in there a minute or two just a quick swill!
I've had the doctor out today, she said to make a complaint about my birth, I'm relieved I thought I was possibly being dramatic but being left to labour on my own on a silent ward when my baby was breech surely was out of order? I thought this morning had I have contracted any quicker I could well have got to 10cms & had to deliver her, without my husband or anyone with me! Makes me quite cross, if I complain I can probably put it to bed & move on, what do you reckon?
I've also decided to quit BFing, it's killing me & the shields are such a pain, it takes over 2 hours at night to feed. I just want to enjoy this time not spend it dreading feeding times.
Feeling more empowered today!!