sept 2014: babies are here (or coming soon!)

[allisgood1]

Even though dc3 is end of August, thought I'd start a sept thread :-)

How are you all doing?

dS1 is 9 dats old. Feeding well and surely sleeping well but it's hard to know as I keep falling asleep at night feeding him!

Dinah sorry to hear about your H. But as others have said, its good that you have the support of people in rl, and there is usually someone here if you need to vent!

Showme hope you little one responds to the treatment soon. Glad you managed to get a couple of hours sleep last night.

Oh no Dinah so sorry you're having a hard time, what a scumbag indeed to do that to you at all but especially after having a baby. Vent on here all you like, you're not alone.

Had my 6 week check today. Got the mini pill but I have zero interest in sex right now tbh so not sure I'll bother taking it. Also got some miracle in a tube sheriproct for my piles that have flared up (nice!)

Finally booked in to get my hair cut next week. Only been waiting 13 weeks! Lol my waters went on the day I was supposed to get my last hair cut before the big day!

Also booked in to have my hair put up for my friend's wedding. We go to the same salon though so I will be there at the same time as the bridal party. I'm a bit worried if she'll not like me bringing baby with me that morning to get my hair done as she didn't want me to bring baby if I was still having my hair done etc with the bridal party. Hmm I'm probably worrying too much but I wouldn't like to upset a bride on her wedding day!

Hi Ladies,

Congrats to All!

Checking in for the first time. My little bundle is 5 days old today.
Enjoying it as my DH has 4 weeks off and our other 2 ds's are at school so getting lots of bonding time.
DH is sleeping in spare room at the mo, as baby is feeding A LOT (he was over 9lbs at birth) so don't see the point in both of us being sleep deprived!
Just trying to get our routine down, with getting the boys fed and ready for school, baby dressed and fed and out of the house on time...no idea what I'll do in 4 nearly 3 weeks when DH goes back to work!

Dinah, so sorry to hear what you're going through. It's hard enough as it is. Hope your parents are able to support you through it xx

topmammy, sorry to ask but did you try the traditional over-counter piles remedies first? I had quite bad piles a week before the birth, and after giving birth to a 9lb-er, they are horrendous! Using anusol/Prep H creams (can't use suppositories as they are just too bad at the moment) plus a cold gel pad but they don't seem to be getting any better. Is there a time-frame before you can use stronger remedies?? Thinking about seeing the GP but I think I remember my midwife saying something about 4-6 weeks, not sure I can tolerate that! Sorry for the tmi, just a bit desperate to get back to normal in that area!! xx

DH is really starting to annoy me. I'm not expecting him to be doing stuff around the house / with baby 24/7 but I don't think being in bed all morning and watching hours worth of Top Gear re-runs / playing video games everyday is exactly the point of paternity leave either! It doesn't seem to occur to him to use his time a bit more productively. If Jessica is asleep either I'll be doing something around the house or napping but he will just sit in his armchair and doss around. There's load of 'half-done' jobs around the house (stuff to go in attic, bath panel to be replaced, washing line to be sorted) which he has happily ignored for the past fortnight. I've tried talking to him about this but it's made sod all difference.

Thanks EllaBella! I'll ring the docs x

Trying to catch up with thread but head all over place.

Dinah hope you are doing ok and are being looked after well.

My mw came for 5 day.chexk today. B was 9lb 3 at birth and is now 8lb 2. She told me to bf every 3 hours and exlrwar 1.5 hrs after feeding
However he can't latch on so I have jist expressed all his feeds and he has had 70/80 ml each time. Nappies wet and poo changing as meant to. He also has a little bit of jaundice so she is bringing the biliflash thing tomorrow. I ended up feeling like the worst mum ever. Rang my.mil in tears who dashed to the rescue. Will be t telling mw.tomorrow that not going ro bf and will ask for combination feeding advice. Ho hum

Thanks for the support. Solicitors booked for Friday, want to get this over & done with as quickly as possible. Found out the OW has told her husband also, seems they are making plans to be together after all
Evie is doing well though, putting on weight, at least she's a baby & won't remember any of this.
Still concerned about her pooping, she goes every other day & when she goes she goes! It's very yellow & like a paste, is that normal?
I'm changing doctors now, so will be getting a new H.V bit gutted cause mine was lovely & having to explain Evie's condition to new people is difficult, I'm just going to break down every time.

LH I have been using anusol until now yes. I was ok ish after the birth piles wise (although i did push out another pile to add to the one i already had lol but it wasnt too painful) but it's bf that is causing me to get constipation as I'm rubbish at drinking enough fluid and so this has made my mild piles worse. Sheriproct (I think that's the spelling! ) is excellent at numbing the pain and speeding up healing. I would definitely go ask your gp via anusol isn't helping.

kit kat I had a big grumpy rant at my DH on Sunday as Jessica's bedroom still had no lamp shade or curtains and we bought them months ago. In fact we have lived in our house for 8 years and that room never has had a lamp shade or curtains lol. Anyway he finally did do it. I understand when he complains that it's his day off today so he needs to rest etc but I also pointed out that I never get a day off! I think men think childcare and running a house is much easier than going to work. But it's not the case. I dread to think how I will cope when I go back to work and have a house and small child to care for too. Yikes! Best put that one in a box and forget about it for now.

Dinah; Glad you have got a solicitors appt already. Really sorry for you having to go through this. You sound like you are coping and concentrating your thoughts on your baby like all brilliant mums do even through difficult times.

How is everyone getting on with getting their babies to sleep? We are struggling a little and not quite sure what to do next, and I was hoping some of you might have some genius ideas!!!

LO is eight days old now, and getting her off to sleep usually isn't too bad, and she tends to sleep for between 1.5 and 2.5 hours. So far, so good! I'm happy with all this, the problem is how/where she will sleep.

She is happiest either on me or DH, but I know that this is against SIDS guidelines and neither of us will sleep if she is on us. Whilst it is lovely, we are both getting slowly more sleep deprived and can't keep on like this.

We have managed to get her to sleep on the couch, on a cushion with another one in front of her in case she managed to somehow roll. She sleeps well like this, but i know that this is also not great in terms of the SIDS guidelines, plus she is pretty much lying on her side, which is also bad. It does, however, give us the chance to do things like nipping to the loo or getting food/drink, although we are also uncomfortable with this sleeping plan so sit with her (other than quickly nipping to the loo or kitchen) and we won't sleep. Again, sleep deprivation is becoming an issue.

We really need to get her sleeping in her Moses basket before DH goes back to work. Because of the nature of his job he really can't be suffering from sleep deprivation and therefore won't be able to help out anywhere near as much as he is now. We've tried the Moses basket a few times now, and she doesn't manage more than ten minutes. She's only done one full sleep in there, and then she was on her side, not on her back

Any ideas for how we can get her to sleep on her back in her basket? I'm so tempted to put her in there on her side, but that just feels terrifying given the SIDS guidance.

Sorry for such a long post, and thanks for any insight you might be able to offer

Hi Eponine have you tried swaddling? To start with We let DS fall asleep on one of us and then swaddled him. We then rocked him a little more so he was still asleep and then gently placed him in his crib. This seemed to work, less space to wriggle so more content.

This was working at night until about four nights ago as well. Now we are having a bit of a nightmare so I'm looking forward to some other responses! Also, he now doesn't even need to be swaddled during the day, he'll sleep contentedly for about three hours in a carry cot. Making the night time situation even more infuriating!

team have you tried sleeping with Moses basket sheets so it smells of you? Warming the mattress first with a hot water bottle? Or one if those rocking stands you can get for Moses baskets? Evie doesn't sleep great, she grunts & thrashes around all night, but seems to like being rocked...till she throws up :-/

honey we did try swaddling her a couple of days ago and she screamed the house down! I will try it again today though. She doesn't seem to like her arms being restricted, but I'll give it a try

Dinah fab idea about getting the sheets to smell of me! I'll definitely give that a try too. Hope you're hanging on in there

Team I bought one of these: products.babymoov.eu/cosysleep.html

They're about £30 from amazon. DS used to fight his crib but seems to like lying on this. Maybe worth looking into if all else fails?

That looks snuggly, they should do a mummy size one!

I was brave this morning and bathed DS for he first time alone. Actually didn't take too long, and he seemed to like it. I haven't yet managed to bathe myself or even have any breakfast but I still count that as an achievement!

Hey everyone, not had a chance to post on here yet I posted on the other thread, had baby Jake 6 days ago weighing 9:14! Had to have an emergency csection as I couldn't dilate further than 6cm cause he was so big! Not feeling great still and having few problems with the breast feeding it's so painful and he can't quite latch in the correct position cause he's so big, so have had to use the bottle at times. I haven't had time to properly sit down and express just haven't had the time or energy so he took forumula. Don't want to confuse him either way, but got quite upset about loosing the bond we have breast feeding.

dinah sorry to hear about your H, hope your okay, glad you've got your parents around for support.

How's everyone else doing? Ive only manage to read back a couple of pages so will try to catch up today!

Hi ladies.
Re: sleep. Third time mum here and I'm afraid I'm breaking all the rules. DS sleeps on his tummy and will sleep for hours like this. I sleep right next to him and DH in another room. Remember that SIDS guidelines are a variety of factors, not just one. So if baby is more comfortable on his side, let him sleep like that! If the sofa is better, sleep next to him. How stay in these early days you just have to survive. More reassurance here: www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/sids/prefers-sleep-tummy

Dinah, hope you are ok.

I am suffering massively from anxiety. It's worse in the morning and better by evening but bad again overnight. I'm now convinced I have bowel cancer and terrified of DCs getting a tummy bug (I'm sick phobic anyway). Have tried booking GP but won't see me until next thurs and to be honest it's just before school pick up so prob have to cancel that anyway

Re sleeping,,,,last night I used a gro swaddle which someone sent me, B went from feed and back still in it And he settled much better. The other thing we have which a friend lent us is a cocoonababy which is bloody, bloody marvellous.

Mw been today. Jaundice nothing to worry about, can do formula as top up if I want. Praise every higher being in the world. I have spent the last day feeling like worst mum ever and now feel slightly less so.

Re Sleeping.

DS would not initially sleep on his back (he's got better), we resorted to putting him on his side rather than be utterly sleep deprived or have him sleep on us. DH looked up how risky it was in terms of SIDS - apparently its more risky than back, mainly because of the risk of them rolling onto their front, rather than it being significantly inherently more risky because they are on their side. He improved a lot after that. We also reasoned that DS was more at risk from us for various reasons, if he only slept on us and we were totally sleep deprived as a result.

The other thing we've found, is the fall asleep on you, roll him into bed trick. We wait until he's asleep (a bit floppy) then move him very very carefully, without changing his position. Sometimes we don't manage it successfully, but we are getting more practiced at it... he doesn't wake if you get it right.

Re Feeding

HV has been today. She had a look at him and said "oh he's got a little tongue tie, but not too much to be a problem" Arrrgghhhh!!! He's only been checked three times before and no one picked up anything. When I pointed out the problems I've had, she said, "oh yes that could have contributed and he has improved as it might have sorted itself out".

Re Behaviour

HV also did a bit on behaviour, which relates a bit to what Team just posted about, as she's done some new fangled course on learning babies behaviour. She suggested a range of things to sooth the baby; some of which I knew, some I didn't. It was surprisingly interesting/good and did seem to follow what DS is like:

• Don't always pick up straight away; look at face and talk to them to see if they can console themselves first. (Yep got that one)
• Keep talking and place hand on tummy (Didn't know, but yes it seems to work)
• Rock them (Hmm yes...)
• Swaddle them, below arms - they do not like arms being restrained as this makes them panic a bit (DS HATES being fully swaddled, but he does like his legs being tucked up so this makes sense. Apparently something to do with being in the womb where they could touch face/grab umbilical cord so had free movement of arms but legs were constricted)
• Pick up (no shit Sherlock!)
• Give them something to suck (have reservations about this a bit, but we have found giving DS a finger or knuckle to suck for a second whilst he's screaming his head off, either stops him or takes him down a level at least temporarily)
• They don't always focus on your face. This can be because they need a break, and can get stressed out if you try and make them look at your face. (Didn't know)

Yesterday, we managed our first big trip - 3hours - to see relatives (DH had to work in the same city so we made a day of it as his DB and SIL work shifts as they are both doctors). It was a challenge and a mission to pack up for the day. DH was busy most of the day, so I had to cope on my own in a strange setting (though if I was desperate DB or SIL could have helped though they had hands full with their toddler. Everything went well and I feel a lot more confident as a result.

SIL something very interesting about feeding as she's found advice utter shit when she had her daughter. Apparently, in some places they regard breast feeding immediately as a bad thing culturally (though medically this isn't true) so they don't attempt it until they around a month old, and they have no issues with switching back in this way. This is counter to pretty much everything we get told, that once you stop breast feeding, thats it, or babies get confused etc etc.

She also, pretty much broke every 'rule' going saying they are unworkable and impractical a lot of the time; just do what works for you within reason, being aware of the risks and taking them into account as much as you can without loosing your sanity. I think it says a lot when two doctors don't follow the letter of advice or are critical of it in some way when it comes to their own daughter. I think its something to really bare in mind, if you are going out of your mind worrying about being a 'bad mother'.

Sorry, this has turned into another epic!

Re. I'm really glad you've said that about side sleeping. It's dd's favourite way to sleep (that's not laid on is) and I'd been worrying but could only find info, like you, saying the risk is from rolling onto front. Rests my mind a little knowing that's what others are finding/ have seen.
Really interesting about the return to bf after a month, do they not do anything then? No pumping or expressing? I can't imagine the state of my boobs if I couldn't at least express!

• Red no Re Bloody phone

Can I join please? I was due October 11th but baby decided to arrive last Friday and after a very fast labour and weekend in hospital we are both home and well. Day 2 and I was very blue yesterday, I knew life would change massively but wasn't prepared for how sad I am that my old life has ended as I knew it. DH has been a huge help so anxious for how I will cope when he goes back to work. She won't breast feed because she falls asleep after three sucks so I am expressing and also giving her formula. There is so much pressure to breast feed, I understand it's the best thing for her but what can I do if she falls asleep? I am happy to just express to be honest bottles mean DH can do all the feeds which suits me. Does anyone else not breast feed, I feel so bad about it. I have no idea how you get things done with a baby and I was a very routine control freak person before so think that's why am struggling a bit.

We've had success in the Moses basket this morning I put a worn top of mine in her basket for a couple of hours, and then I did partially swaddle her, under her arms, and put her down with her back just slightly propped up against the side of the basket so she was slightly lying on her side. This seemed to work to get her to settle, but she quickly wriggled a little and was on her back and zonked within a few minutes! Just got to hope we can replicate this! I'd love to sleep a little tonight. Being nocturnal really does not suit me.

Thank you so much everyone for all of your advice this morning

Welcome bump. I was having a similar three sucks and she's asleep problem. My midwife suggested the simplest thing, and it has worked amazingly. Just massage, as if you were hand expressing, for a few seconds before putting baby on, and continue doing this until baby is properly latched on and feeding nicely. It takes a short while for the milk to come through, and they get bored or assume it won't come or relax through sucking and fall asleep. Really simple, but it has transformed feeding for me!

Welcome bump! Just a quicky to say I am expressing and topping up. I cannot tell you how relieved I feel that the stress I experienced with bf is no more :-)