sept 2014: babies are here (or coming soon!)

[allisgood1]

Even though dc3 is end of August, thought I'd start a sept thread :-)

How are you all doing?

dS1 is 9 dats old. Feeding well and surely sleeping well but it's hard to know as I keep falling asleep at night feeding him!

Bump, DS did the same. I spent two weeks pretty much exclusively expressing. I then just tried him again on breast and he is so much better now at 3 weeks. I think he is just a lazy baby. I was under the impression he wouldn't be able to go back to breast if you did that, but my experience is that it wasn't an issue, and it seems like he just took longer to learn what boobs are for! He's doing about two thirds expressed one third breast now at 3 weeks. I found Days 1 - 4 the hardest for feeding/emotions over feeding. It has gradually got better.

Show SIL didn't say what they did for that month. I would assume they expressed. She just said they deemed the first milk as somehow 'dirty' so they didn't feed it to their babies. TBH I haven't looked it up any further from what she said.

I do find what different cultures do and how attitudes differ throughout the world; very often the advice we are given is so different. Some of it is purely cultural (and not necessarily particularly healthy) like that particular gem, but some of it particularly from Western Europe / US does seem to consider the research out there, but just assesses risk differently to we do in the UK. It really does make you realise that some of the wisdom we are being taught can't be quite as solid as we are led to believe, and is probably more cultural than we might think.

Welcome over Always and welcome bump!

bump You'll find that breastfeeding problems and frustrations are very common here and I for one certainly feel angry at the pressure that is put on, when it really, it seems from my experience and others here, that bf'ing is by no means straightforward!

I think i'm ready to give up with trying to breastfeed. I don't have the energy to offer the breast consistently before feeds especially as she gets so upset that she can't do it and therefore so do I. She has never been able to fully latch on and if anything I think she's trying less now. I tried with nipple shields but was just one more thing to try and position! I have been able to express a little milk each day but that's another thing that takes a fair bit of time and effort and it makes me grumpy to do! I can't manage to do that regularly either, there just isn't enough hours in the day! I know any amount of breast milk is better for her than nothing though. Oh the guilt!

Hello bump I'm new here too, and not breast feeding, I did for the first few days but then eventually failed and ended up bottle feeding, I have to say iv really struggled with the guilt from giving up breast feeding despite everyone assuring me it's ok, I think the baby blues made it feel worse. But a week on my baby is gaining weight and is happy and healthy, and having DP help with feeds is amazing. Sounds like youv put a good effort into bf so please don't feel bad if it doesn't work out

Hi bumpforme, I'm mix feeding (which earned me a grumpy 'why bother breastfeeding at all' comment from the older midwife on the antenatal ward) as I am returning to work fairly early on so needed to make sure I didn't end up with a baby that wouldn't take a bottle when required.

I think that while breast milk is the best thing for baby a happy mum is pretty high up there on the list of needs and you shouldn't beat yourself up about doing it, not doing it, expressing and using bottles or whatever else suits you, your baby and your family, there is so much pressure on us as new mums already with just trying to get the hang of looking after our babies without making youself feel worse.

It was our first full day home from the hospital today, I hardly slept at all last night as Emily was sick several times and was very fussy all night. I also hate the swinging crib I have for her to sleep in as I have to stand up out of bed to be able to lift her out, then try and scootch back across the bed to get comfy to feed her - I ordered a Chicco Next to Me crib this morning which should be delivered Friday, until then I'm gonna use the carrycot from my pram as she naps so well in that during the day. She is quite refluxy so I think it helps that I can raise the head slightly on the carrycot, and the chicco has the same ability. Fingers crossed she likes it and it makes life easier.

I'm really surprised how generally ok I feel (sorry to anyone who is really suffering, I promise I'm not gloating, I just expected to feel much worse). I had a stupidly quick labour which probably helps as it wasn't hours of exhausting agony, but I did have a second degree tear and lots of stitches and I expected those to be more painful. I might be regretting saying this tomorrow if I wake up feeling dreadful but keeping my fingers crossed not.

Sorry for the epic post, big update from me

Sorry thisisntmuch about the baby baby but ds1 has hurt himself and now I cant sleep as I feel guilty.
Dh is out. Ds had fallen asleep in my bed sk I shifted him into his bed (top bunk of the bunk beds) and he his feeding tube (think tube coming out of stomach) got caught on the bed railing. He screamed but I thought it was because I was putting him down. That's held in place by a disc in his stomach. .They can come out. If they do its 999. Could have been in theatre right now for a new one and stitching up. Fuck. Poor little man is only4. Its all red near where the tube comes out of his stomach.

Once again sorry needed to vent

Thanks for all the advice, really helps. The more I ask people the more I hear of stories like mine where people just couldn't do it but felt guilty for it. I was not breast fed as a baby and I am fine so that helps. I also don't get the enjoyment from it I've heard other women talk of, not really feeling it but that doesn't mean I love her any less. Bottle feeding has worked out well for us so far and I think formula fed babies sleep longer as well. Will continue to express and try her on breast but I can't see myself being an exclusive breast feeder.

Ilovemonster don't feel guilty, it was an accident sounds very stressful though, hope your okay.

I am still plodding in trying to get ds to breastfeed 6 weeks into it and i have lost the will. Although I am planning on trying for a couple more weeks. His sleep is hit and miss. Hopefully it will get better soon!

Hey Ilove. How is DS doing?

Feel a bit down today to be honest. Health visitor came around and we happened to mention that DH had been giving Jessica a late-night feed for me the past few nights with a bottle of expressed milk so that I could get a few hours sleep, and she commented that we shouldn't really be expressing before 6 weeks as it can cause 'nipple confusion' and make breast feeding harder, (even though Jessica is still feeding from me fine and gaining weight really well). It's just made me feel a bit flat really as I've really been struggling to persevere this past couple of weeks with bf and finding it really painful and exhausting, and just feel that she had to find the negative in what we have been doing if you know what I mean, rather than look at the positives. Then we went to a new baby group for the first time this afternoon and a few people there were really cliquey and didn't really want to talk to anyone new, and I just felt quite uncomfortable and anxious about getting really isolated for my maternity leave. And DH is back to work tomorrow and I feel really anxious about looking after Jessica all day tomorrow on my own. And I know this sounds awful but I had a message from a work colleague today and it made me realise that I really miss 'normal' adult conversation today (I.E, not 'baby talk') as I feel that it's all anyone has spoken to me about in weeks and that I'm slowly but surely just becoming 'Jessica's mummy' rather than a person in my own right if that makes any sense. I'm probably just tired and a bit hormonal today as Jessica didn't sleep well last night, and DH won't really be able to do the late night feed tonight what with needing to be up early for work tomorrow, so I'm anticipating being really exhausted for the next few weeks until Jessica gets a bit older and her feeds can space out a bit more.

On a side point, for those of you who are expressing, how long does it take you to express a feed? It's taking me an hour to get between 50-80mls and I'm not sure if this is typical or not? xx

Kitkat, I've been told by midwives/hv to do whatever is best for us re breastfeeding/expressing; they certainly have no problem with me expressing nor voiced concern over confusion.

How old is Jessica now? It generally takes me an hour to do a good express - sometimes I do shorter ones just to get some off or if time won't allow. How much I get really does depend on whether I have breastfed first or not.

I've had a really shit day today. DS projectile vomited all over me first thing. Then was a total nightmare for several hours. By the time the midwife turned up, I was in bits. DS has gained weight and is just above his birth weight, but she said its slow weight gain and she booked an appointment with my GP for him just to check he was ok as he's been unusually unconsolable for the last 24hours and has been having issues with wind.

GP said he was fine, but confirmed what the HV had said yesterday; he has got a slight tongue tie but he didn't think it was problematic.

I've now ventured onto google, and found that even a slight tongue tie can cause issues and its difficult to assess which are problematic and which cause no issues. Given the problems I've had with breastfeeding, his crap latch (which is still causing me pain) and now his wind issues I'm really beginning to wonder about it...

If I say I'm glad I'm not the only one having wobbles, it's meant in the nicest way possible.

Mw came today and 100g put on so they won't come again till Sunday and then hopefully will be discharged.

,y expressing alters during day - I got 120ml this am and am now strugglingto get 60. Ideally I would like to get enough to do the 11 and 2 feeds before expressing during night.

Last night b struggled to settle so we put him in the cocoonababy between us and he did 4 hours and then 3 hours.

Got appt through for hearing test next week. I have now decided that b has a hearing problem. He does jump at some sounds and does react to voices sometimes but not all the time. Appt is for a week tomorrow. My DH has suggested I call and ask if they can do it sooner.

Anyone else worry ALL THE BLOODY TIME??????

Hes been ok today with some calpol thanks kitkat.

Im only finding time to pump in the middle of the night when im not running around after thr other 2.

I started pumping when he was around a week old dont worry too much about that x

My expressing alters during day - I got 120ml this am and am now strugglingto get 60.

I definitely get more at different times of the day which can feel really frustrating at times. It seems to be lowest around midday / early evening.

For anyone worried about not producing enough milk, I'd definitely recommend getting some fenugreek tablets. I've had a noticeable increase since starting them just yesterday morning!

I'm still shocked at how difficult feeding is and that humans have managed to survive

Morning all. I've had the longest stretch of sleep since Jessica was born tonight 4 hours then a feed then 3 hours. Feels amazing! I've got a cold and sore throat too so really needed the sleep. Ella yes I've felt run down recently. I've had some sort of cold for 2 weeks now.

kit kat I went to a bf group and it was a bit cliquey. I go to a playgroup though which is much nicer. Could you maybe try a different group? Or see if you can do a baby massage class and meet people that way. I feel lonely sometimes too and need to get myself onto a baby course or something as being in the house all day does get depressing. Hope you feel better soon

Still waiting for my milk to come in, so topping up with formula as she is starving even after offering both boobs. Feel like I have got the latch right today though (with the help of some you tube vids) as it's not hurting anymore and the blood blister is still getting better even though I'm still feeding.

We went out on a little shopping trip today, I may have overdone the pink a bit but all her stuff was white as we didn't know what we were having so it's nice to get her some girly stuff. Going to visit a couple of my best friends tomorrow, so looking forward to it, I normally see them pretty much everyday so have missed them, they have refused to come round as they think I'm lying about feeling well enough for visitors, one of them had a horrible labour when she had her son and felt rotten for a couple of weeks so thinks im understating cause I want to see them (I make her sound mean but she means well really)

I think I have officially given up breastfeeding. After 6 long weeks of Eli mostly refusing, I made the decision to stop last night and although mostly I feel relief I also feel really sad we couldn't crack it.

Eli has been wanting bottles every two hrs today. Can't believe how much he is drinking!

Six weeks is a fantastic achievement cookie, try not to feel too down about it. As others have said previously, a happy mummy is far more important for a happy baby than which method of feeding you use.

I've had a day where baby just wants constant feeding and barely sleeps in between, just grizzles. It is so draining. Really hoping she is better tonight!

Just to quickly add, Baby boy Christian born on Monday 22/9 (39+2) at 11:13 am, 3.44 kg and 55cm. Ended with emergency c section when 7cm dilated as found out he was breach after all and had to get out immediately. He's healthy happy boy,just struggling with breastfeeding as when we got home on Wednesday started to refuse breast and I'm now forced to express for each feed (doing just now).

Will try to catch with posts later. If I missed anyone else having babies, congrats

Congrats velvet!

Congratulations velvet and welcome home. I am uber proud of my little boy -;just had 3 hrs sleep. :-).

Am stressing about his hearing - he wakes up when prompted verbally and occasionally responds to hoover etc but most of the time seems oblivious!

Managed to express for every feed yesterday mainly cos in the morning I get enough for 2 feeds...it diminishes in the afternoons so I have to hammer my boobs early on. It's so attractive. Not.

I gave in and offered P a bottle feed last night at 11 as she had been on me pretty much constantly from 4am with one 2 hour sleep in the middle of day. I was so drained and even though feeding doesn't hurt, my nipples were sore and I felt she was getting nothing from me. I went to bed, DH fed her and put her in Moses basket, and we both got a couple of hours sleep. Not going to allow guilt to creep in about it as She's still not putting on weight despite the constant cluster feeding. And I am knackered!
Kitkat I went through exactly the same thing re loss of identity after having DD1. Not helped by losing the job I'd had for 15 years when she was about 1. For me it spiralled into mild depression/ anxiety and I needed counselling. Please talk to friends and family about how you're feeling - it's probably just baby blues and a very common thing for anyone who has a career they enjoy, but definitely worth keeping an eye on so it doesn't progress into anything more serious. I found baby groups hard at the beginning too but experimented with different ones until I found the groups with the right atmosphere and people for me IYSWIM. We now attend 3 on a fairly regular basis and I have 'mummy friends' from the group's that arrange playdates etc with. They're all so different and some can be cliquey if the mums know each other from school gates or other reasons. Worth persevering with though IMHO. I know some mums hate them though

Hey all. Thanks for your nice supportive comments. Think I was just feeling a bit down the other day. I am pleased to say though that me and Jessica did okay though yesterday whilst DH went to work, so that helps a bit. Have got an old friend coming around today and I'm going to be a bridesmaid at her wedding next year so going to have some girly talk hopefully about something other than babies just so as that I can feel a bit like 'me' again. I think sleep deprivation is really starting to take it's toll too. Jessica is definitely an evening / night-time cluster feeder and can happily feed 2-3 hours at a time with only short breaks in-between, and then she will sleep for an hour or two, and then she will be up for another feed-a-thon, and I'm just exhausted and not really 'enjoying' motherhood much yet, what with cracked nipples and sleep deprivation and all the rest. Ended up with a migraine yesterday evening which is still there today. Will keep an eye on myself though that it doesn't progress into me getting PND.

Cookie 6 weeks is an amazing achievement for bf. Please don't beat yourself up about it. You are just doing what is best for you and baby. x

Velvet massive congratulations. xxx

Congrats velvet!

Cookie 6 weeks of perseverance with bf'ing is amazing. As i've said before - the breast, pump, bottle routine is so time consuming I really admire you for having stuck at it for so long! There is no way you should feel any guilt whatsoever!

Glad you're feeling better today kitkat despite the sore nips, exhaustion, and migraine!