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Jan 2014 - can we call it a sleep regression if they didn't sleep in the first place?

999 replies

Swannykazoo · 05/06/2014 15:10

Here goes...

OP posts:
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Gettingthroughthis · 04/08/2014 11:43

toby and book sorry about the crappy night. You too million but that is very funny!!

Happy birthday mini altered

Naturegirl82 · 04/08/2014 19:28

3 minutes to put to sleep tonight. Amazing!! Didn't have to pick her up once!

Managed to make a start on O's room which is good. O had a good time at MIL which is a relief. Makes me feel a bit better about going back to work.

TobyLerone · 04/08/2014 20:50

That's excellent, nature. She's picked up the sleeping thing quickly!
Don't be surprised if there's a slight regression before the week is out. But it'll only be a night or two.

AMillionNameChangesLater · 04/08/2014 21:53

I'm so jealous of the 3 mins! Took Henry 2.5 hours tonight of crying, and trying to settle. I cant scroll back up for some reason, but are people doing cc?

TobyLerone · 04/08/2014 21:55

I did a lightweight version of CC. Never left her for longer than 3 or 4 mins. Still only took a week and she goes down without any fuss wide awake most evenings.

AMillionNameChangesLater · 04/08/2014 22:01

I think we have to go for it. It's getting ridiculous and, I know this sounds awful, I'm sick of it. Once he's down, he's down, but as it is it's me that has to settle him as he wont settle for his dad if he knows I'm in the house. And it's for 2.5 hours every night!

He wakes at 6.15 on the dot every day too.

Tomorrow will be the first day I think

TobyLerone · 04/08/2014 22:01

And I only did it because she cried herself to sleep whatever I did. Even if I rocked her, shhed, patted, tried to feed her...

TobyLerone · 04/08/2014 22:06

Oh, and we took it in turns to put her down. We'd do the usual routine -- DH baths her, I dress her for bed, I read her a story and feed her and then which ever person's turn it is puts her to bed and goes in at intervals if necessary. Apparently it must be the same person who put them down, so they know that the other one won't just automatically appear if they protest enough.

It's hard for a few days, and it's not for everyone, but at least we have our evenings back. Now if I could only work out why she wakes up 8 times a night needing a feed or some other attention despite being able to self-settle, we'd all be a lot happier!

Naturegirl82 · 04/08/2014 22:15

million we did pick up put down. O still wakes during the night though but it is helping her learn to self settle as well.

toby I'm completely expecting it to change again! Seems too good to be true! I'll keep my fingers crossed it doesn't though!

alteredimages · 04/08/2014 22:40

I am ready to try controlled crying too, but probably need to wait til he is more settled in the new flat. I am in a hurry to nip the feeding to sleep in the bud though. Also need a wider range of foods to give him, especially vegetables. Plums and nectarines were a big hit though.

Can I use controlled crying for a four year old?

Birthday went fine in the end though MIL brought way too much food. The castle cake didn't look much like a castle but tasted great. It was a shame not to have any other kids there but we will do an outing once her friends and cousins are back from holiday.

FelixFelix · 04/08/2014 23:02

Altered happy birthday to your dd.

Sorry everyone with sleep issues Sad

We had hysterical crying for 40 minutes last night at bed time but I think she was over tired. She hardly ever cries so it wasn't very nice Confused but then she only woke briefly at 11 (because DP did a massive fart when getting ready for bed Blush) and went back to sleep straight away. Then awake at 3.30 for a feed and back to sleep until 7.30. I can't believe it! She's not slept that well for 4 months and I'm guessing it's just a bit of a fluke.

Sunshineseeker80 · 05/08/2014 02:03

Greetings from down under! I've been reading the thread but not posting for a while due to lack of Internet / time difference / general laziness but thought I'd just stick my tuppence in on the non sleeping TBs in case it is of interest to anyone....

I can't remember who mentioned the millpond book up thread but I read that then panicked and decided to throw some money at the problem (non sleeping / newly co-sleeping baby, which I made worse by refusing to let her cry and get away with murder when we were saying with friends). So we are 3 weeks into a program with them and I have weekly calls to talk about next steps. They are a bit too into controlled crying for me here in Oz for me personally so rather than go local we just skype the lady in London.

Anyway we had to fill in a detailed questionnaire and keep a diary (and still are keeping a diary), and we have been doing gradual withdrawal but there are really 3 main strands

  1. Em was hungry doing BLW which was probably causing half the problems so we had to make a real effort to get food in her during the day. She now has breakfast, lunch and a snack as well as 4-5 BFs in the day. And the nappies show that stuff is going in. By god I miss BF nappies.
  1. We have been spacing the night feeds out starting at every 2 hours and now are up to every 3 1/2 so she feeds at 7pm before bed for no more than 5 mins, dream feeds at 11, wakes at 2.30ish for feed then sometimes wakes at 5, sometimes 6. Next step is to reduce the 2 am feeds by 1 min a night until she learns there is no point in waking up for them (this will only work if she is getting enough calories during the day)
  1. Gradual withdrawal to help teach her to self settle. So we only go to her when she is upset (crying escalating rather than just awake) and every 3-5 day what we do to settle her changes so started with rocking, then holding, then patting stroking in cot (no picking up), and now on patting / stroking for 10 secs then nothing for 10 secs). Next sitting next to cot and shushing , then in door way etc etc. This is all in the book in detail. (Book is WAY cheaper on kindle btw)

It's working as she is now taking 5-30 mins to get to sleep (as opposed to 3 hours) and will go for at least 3 hour stints (as opposed to 20 mins). She is also in her own cot in her own room though I am sleeping on a sofa bed in there as we don't have a bed yet. But it's SLOW compared to cc and it's still just me doing it all partly because I am a control freak and don't want DH to spoil the progress we have made and partly...oh nope that's the only reason.

Anyhow, I would recommend as we would never have figured out the food thing. I have to go as my 72 boxes of crap / worldly possessions from the UK have literally just arrived and I have to tick each box in individually. They offered to unpack but our new house is teeny and I have no idea where to put anything. But it means I will have 72 cardboard boxes to get rid of eventually.

Every day I think I am crazy to have done this and have a little sob inside. But that's a whole other post.

Hope you are all fast asleep and get to read this after a full nights rest Grin

TobyLerone · 05/08/2014 04:50

Hello, sunshine! Lovely to hear from you :)
Gradual withdrawal sounds like hard work. Kudos for going to those lengths to do it as gently as possible.

We seem to be having a better night here. She went down late last night around 8.45pm because we were disorganised. Woke at midnightish for a feed and again at 3.30am. Shortly after going back down, she woke and cried for about 15 minutes. I shhed her occasionally and she's now sound asleep. I'm bloody wide awake, though Angry

Angelesque · 05/08/2014 06:13

We had a better night too finally - took a while to get F down, but once he went down just before 9pm he slept until 5.40. He's back down again now.

It's been so comforting to read everyone else's posts while F's been not sleeping over this last week...

Book you are an actual saint to have been dealing with zero sleep all this time. Hats off to you - after just one week of it I've been ready to run away with the circus

Angelesque · 05/08/2014 06:16

...and it's my last day of mat leave today! Sad Sad Sad

I'm meeting a friend and her little boy to go to the Dig the City event in the centre of Manchester. We're going to a Roald Dahl reading, then a private rooftop garden for a picnic. Can't wait!

eyes weather forecast nervously

BookTart · 05/08/2014 07:08

Have a lovely day angel, hope the weather holds out for you!

Just to buck the trend, the sleep here is getting worse. I didn't think that was possible, but she likes to surprise me! She fed every half hour or so last night.It was obviously going to be a bad night when she woke up at 8.30 screaming (she does the early evening downstairs on her feeding pillow so I get to see DH), so I took her up to bed earlier than usual but she wouldn't calm down. No idea what was wrong.

Anyway, she celebrated waking up at five with some bare bum time, which ended suddenly she she pooed on the towel. I caught her just as she was bringing a handful up to her mouth Blush

angel the only as on I haven't run away to join the circus is that I'm too tired to run!

MerryPops · 05/08/2014 08:35

Definitely a time for bad sleep as even my normally great sleeper (not being smug, I am aware how lucky we are!) has been up in the night. They've most certainly been on that Facebook group again.

It must be a week for back at work, as you know I have been back for a while now working mornings, but today is my first full day. My brain went into meltdown this morning having to remember to bring lunch. Here's hoping for a busy day to keep me occupied. I am at least looking forward to my lunch hour, a full hour to myself with no one else to worry about! Although I am a 10 minute walk from Mothercare/Mamas and Papas/Toys R Us/Boots so I'm sure I will end up spending way more money!

Have a good last day angel, puggle I think it is your first day back so good luck!

Good save book, that wouldn't have been a very pleasant clean up job!

Have a good day everyone Smile

Gettingthroughthis · 05/08/2014 08:54

Another one with crappy sleep here. I thought I was used to it but this week it's really getting me down. I have tried stuffing him with food in the day but it makes no difference. He came into bed with us at 3 last night as I was too tired too keep going back into his room. I know I need to make the effort or it'll never get better but I'm just so tired (obv not as much as you book, i honestly don't know how you cope)

I'm back to work next month and that's making me sad too. I was planning to have the whole year off but when all the drama happened between me and dh I had to go back in sept for money reasons and now can't change my mind. It would help if I didn't hate my job. Applying for another one at the moment where I could work from home which would cut out the 3 hour a day commuting so keeping fingers crossed

Sorry for the moan just feeling a bit down this week

FelixFelix · 05/08/2014 09:00

Hi sunshine! I just saw your picture of the boxes and your kitchen on fb Grin sounds like you're making progress with sleep. I'm sure you'll settle in soon, it must be exciting but scary to move across the other side of the world Shock

Angel enjoy your last day off. Your plans sound great.

Crap night here. She woke up constantly. I kept waking up to feed her then she would drink about 1oz and I'd get back in to bed, then dream I was still feeding her and be really confused when she woke up again and I was in bed. Then I couldn't remember if id even fed her in the first place or just dreamt it!

Going to try and make an effort to go out for a walk today because we don't leave the house through the week unless there's an appointment or something to go to...

AMillionNameChangesLater · 05/08/2014 18:09

I'm sitting on the stairs listening to my boy cry. I'm doing the Jo Frost cc. So went in after two mins, then you double it each time. We're on 8 mins. 5 mins into it, he's so upset and I just want to run in and hold him.
This is hard

AMillionNameChangesLater · 05/08/2014 18:10

He's so tired, he really is. This is awful. He sounds upset too

AMillionNameChangesLater · 05/08/2014 18:14

Gone in, shh'd him. Put him back down.

Jo frost says to double the time each time. We're onto 16 mins.

TobyLerone · 05/08/2014 18:17

The first night we did it I couldn't bear it after about 15 minutes and went in and picked her up. She carried on screaming all the time I was holding her, so I ended up putting her back down. I don't think it set us back any. Go in to him if you want. Even pick him up if you think you need to. Do whatever feels right.

FWIW, I think any longer than 10 minutes might be a little too long. But I am a pushover!

TobyLerone · 05/08/2014 18:18

Xposts

AMillionNameChangesLater · 05/08/2014 18:23

The longest I will do is 15 mins.

He's screaming! Sounds really mad, and keeps coughing because he's screaming that much.

Just gone in, cuddled him, and put him back down. While I was holding him he was fine, then as soon as I put him down he screamed again