March 2013 time for shoes!

[Plonkysaurus]

New thread ladies...

Probably. It's certainly shifted my priorities. I think lurking in Relationships and FWR here had a lot to do with it too.

Plus there's our ages. I met him at 26, when I was finally starting to sort my head up after a traumatic childhood and turbulent adolescence; I've spent the past couple of years finally growing up. He's forty two and still hasn't grown up. He's missed the boat on that one, hasn't he?

Forgive me being self absorbed and not namechecking today. You lot are helping though. And worse, I'm giving you some credit here too. You asked a while back what I loved about him. I thought about it and realised the answer was: not much, really.

yay for worse We'd all be in a right pickle without our resident wise woman. If only it was over familiar Friday and I could gush a bit!

Tend to agree stormy that by early forties a bit of the growing up would have happened if it was going to. especially with fatherhood thrown in. Sounds like you deserve better. With the caveat that some time with just you and dd will probably be a blast so don't be too much of a hurry on that score.

I'm so glad you're seeing the positive side to it Stormy. I have no time for immaturity and woe is me stuff. Life happens to all of us, after all. You did everything you could from the sounds of it - you can only tell someone so many times. It's up to him to listen or throw a deaf un.

Maybe it's not over familiar Friday anymore, but can it be soul searching saturday (to be followed by sexy sunday)? Look at the path you've set us on!

stormy you are an amazing person. One thing I have learnt from my parents is never stay together for the sake of dc. It just does not work.

plonky i agree about soul searching saturday. Sexy sunday is not happening though. How is the wedding planning?

PMT has hit me bad this month. Dh got out an old phone. He left it out so I have thrown it away. I am fed up of telling him to put his stuff away. I am not doing it for him. Lets see when/if he notices.

Ds had his first experience on the swings at the playground. Im a proud mummy. I must say I have really really enjoyed being with ds for the past month. He make me laugh and his cuddles are the best thing in world.

I think from now on we have to code word our successes with parenting because the babies can read it and play around with us. Its always one step forward two steps back.

Sexy Sunday won't be happening here either Yummy but it's a good name for the day.

Wedding plans are coming along. We have marquees, tables, chairs, toilets, lighting, food, entertainment, and I've ordered my dress. So at least we know something will be happening on the day! I've been trying to do some seating planning again today and it's a PITA though.

Found a babysitter so curry's back on. And tobacco corner is cleared, cleaned, and rearranged. I'll pass on sexy Sunday though!

No Sexy Sunday here either as DP is on a stag do today so he's just going to irritate me tomorrow with his hungoverness! But thanks for reminding me to take jacket tatas for jacket tata Monday plonk

storny it sounds like the time apart so far has had a positive effect on you so that can only be a good thing. And wahey for curry, that'll see ya right!

DS woke up from his nap at 5 and I went in to get him to find the cot and the baby covered in sick. He's never been sick before so I I'm assuming it's a combination of his medicine and cheese spread (it was definitely the cheese spread, I could tell. Bleugh) He's now totally off his food so dinner has consisted of half a rusk and some banana. It would have to happen while DP is off gallivanting, wouldn't it?

I'm on my phone so can't name check but Ooh betty I hope the waking was the actual phase! You must be exhausted. ? Or ?

I must have missed something, what is jacket potato monday?

plonky i am very impressed with your planning skills. I think you have the maker of wedding planning. A new career maybe?

something i hope you have goodies stored at home for yourself. Sounds like you have a tough couple of days ahead of you having to nurse ds and a hungover dp. Hope ds gets better soon.

stormy enjoy your curry evening If you are ever in London Brick Lane does the best curry.

shattered, yummy and worse the night could have been worse really. The only stupid thing is we went to sleep at midnight ourselves and up at half six for house viewings so we didn't get much sleep. Ecobaby had one wake only at two for milk. There was no milk and there was no mummy. I was quivering in next door room whilst dh did his work. The crying and protests about lack of milk lasted until half three. But only the one crying session so really for the first night rather good. Doubtless we'll be stung tonight!

Plonky the film was intense. I think I'll sound like a wanker if I talk about it because the subject matter was so real and awful that to say it's a 'good film' sounds woefully inadequate and to comment on the brutality and portrayal of that would be to suggest that we don't want to hear the truth about our history if that makes any sense. Excellent acting. But wish I could 'unsee' if.

So we have jacket potato Mondays, over familiar Fridays, what was it soul searching Saturdays, sexy Sundays? Any suggestions for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday anyone? I think everyone would benefit from proactive partner Tuesday personally.

Worse did that crazy marine have you star jump too high? How does one crack a back bone? Take care please

Something the sick sounds unfun. Poor little poppet. Have things improved at all?

Yummy I love the way you talk about your son. He sounds a lovely bundle of fun. Wish we could see him! When are you on Facebook again?

Today's been sunny. Ecobaby has been happy enough but bit vacant and staring into space sucking her thumb a lot. Tired after last night I suspect. Dh has been in bloody Bedfordshire viewing ten houses to sort wheat from chaff. He'll be back later on to de brief me. Without me earning we decided market Harborough commute costs are just too much so bloody Bedfordshire it is Whilst the cat's been away we had a back pack walk and hung the nappies on the line. Hurrah for sunshine. Whilst she napped I got out some new crafty bits given as presents and made a few long overdue cards for birthdays, engagement and new baby. Sat next to the sunny open window with a cup of rooibos felt fairly blissful. Whilst it lasted. Currently bathing and dinner in slow cooker so all feels ok in the world.

Betty I hope you have a better night and that you've had some help today. Let us know if things are still shitty mcshit.

Stormy it's been ages since I had a curry out. Humour us and tell us what
you ordered. I'm drooling a little at the thought of all my favourites now. Just as well I'm in the bath.

Wine Wednesdays, definitely wine Wednesdays.

DH has had man-flu for a few days but obviously managed to work, last night it seems to have caught up with him and now he's full on bug ridden and can only snooze in bed, snooze on the sofa, make himself cups of tea and watch TV. I can't really whine because when I was poorly he took over but I know he isn't as ill and is milking it yes I know I'm being a bitch but I don't care but I'm playing nice anyway. I've tackled today by drinking a shit load of coffee and having fun with DD, I'm now drinking wine and praying tonight is better because otherwise even caffeine won't be able to save tomorrow!

On the plus side I've just made the cheesiest mac and cheese in the world and had a very huge portion with some fresh bread and wedges of butter. This may have saved my weekend!!!

Stormy enjoy the curry.....we had take away last night and mine was mushroom bhajis, veg paneer balti and garlic naan. Mmmmmm. On the other topic, it sounds like you're content and like you're making the right decision for you and DD. I'm amazed how strong you are, you should be proud.

Something I hope there's no repeat of the mega vomits!

Eco I'm the worst at remembering to send cards but today I've been doing some crafting myself, in the form of fondant icing art. I've taken on DDs birthday cake myself and I think I'm overreaching. I'm making an entire fondant zoo. God help us all!

stormy sorry you are having such a hard time and hope you find the right way forward for your family.

betty we have been practising first birthday cakes today too! Although ours is of the no sugar variety as we have been a sugar free house since DD weaned. It's actually amazing what can be achieved using only fruit to sweeten baking. DH and I ended up making a yummy banana and applesauce test cake with cream cheese icing and decorated with edible rose petals. I ate far too much of it just to make sure it was right!

I have been with DH since I was 16 so that's nearly 13 years and married for five. Can't believe time has gone so fast. We essentially grew into adults together and our lives are so intertwined. We have ups and downs like everyone though and being parents is challenging - although no where near as challenging as losing our daughter which still affects us every second. Tough stuff definitely made us a stronger team though I think.

eco sleep training sounds tough - hope the hard work will yield better sleep for all!

Despite being pretty certain about not wanting another child in the last year, DH and I have started tentatively talking about possibly adopting in the future. Totally don't know if I would be strong enough to do it or whether it would be right for us but it does constantly play on my mind how amazing it would be to give another child with no family what we give DD.

Lamb masala. Delicious. Pub afterwards, less so. Wasn't quite prepared for seeing the man with his ex. I have the RAGE.

Stormy, still up settling this monkey and saw your post-couldn't not reply. Poor you, that sounds awful. Hope you're ok, for what it's worth I think you sound so strong and sensible in the way you've handled things. Tonight must have really knocked the wind out of you.

Oh for fucks sake Stormy sorry but this is definitely a time for expletives what a fool. He wants comfort and to hurt you all in one because he doesn't want to have to process the fact that this all might in fact be his own doing but that doesn't make it sting any less. What it does do it is show you that you haven't made this hard decision for no good reason. You are awesome and deserve so much more.

ERMERGERD. I just wrote a huge and very interesting post and lost it all. I'll see if I can remember it.

Stormy I'm sorry but that woman must be a particular type of muppet. What did the man do, call and say 'Stormy's chucked me out for awhile, fancy a pint?' Anyway your curry sounds lovely (I personally favour a lamb pathia) but I would have saved a bhaji to lob at his head.

Betty you ambitious lady! How big is this zoo? Chester or more like Twycross? I think we're going to need pictures. How many days now til DD's birthday?
Any I believe tomorrow is a birthday day in your house, no?

Worse yowch, I forgot to ask, how's the back? back problems scare me, I hope it's just a fleshwound

rainbow If we couldn't have another baby I'd definitely find out about adopting. It's a fantastic thing to do, for everyone involved.

eco manic monday? though they're never manic here. your day sounds lovely. I was very proud of myself yesterday having managed DS on my back for two and a half hours over them thar hills. At 24lbs I think that officially makes me a strong 'un. Did DH find any nice houses? So sorry to here it HAS to be Bedfordshire, that's a bit poo. But very accessible so great on that front.

DS has been sat under the table whining for a few minutes now. We need to leave the house with him in a good mood at 11, so I think it's time for a coffee and some online shopping naptime. Or not, as I'm just about to write the monthly cheque to nursery.

stormy he really is a fool and goes to show how immature he is. Did he know you would be at the pub?

plonky i have only just caught on what ermergerd was. Obviously i need a coffee. Im waiting for nap time to commence for online shopping too.

betty and rainbow im impressed with all the cake making. I can bake a cake but rubbish at decorating. Im going for shop made.

rainbow if you decide to adopt you would make a lovely mum. Its an amazing thing to do. Would you adopt a baby or an older child? There are a few things to think about though. Adoption agencies usually look at the age of the current child in the home currently before process begins. The adoption forum on here is very supportive. I sometimes have a nosey.

worse i forgot to ask too. How is your back? Back pain is bad as it is without carrying and bending to pick up babies.

He did know I'd be there, but "didn't think", he says. As for the ex... She's the type of person who gives mental health problems a bad name. Vicious, vindictive, manipulative. They were together for fourteen years of mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse. Most people don't want anything to do with her. They'd been split up for five years when we met, but she was still ringing him multiple times a day. Accused me of ruining her life. Rang seventeen times on Valentine's last year. They only finally stopped speaking when he lost his job last summer and didn't pay his phone bill, so she couldn't call. So you can imagine how thrilled I was to see him with her less than twenty four hours after he left here.

And according to his facebook last night, of course he has issues with communication and maturity, because he's a man. I'm offended on behalf of all the other men in my life. If possession of a dick means you can neither talk nor meet your responsibilities, I'd rather not have a man.

Wow, what a great excuse for such terrible behaviour. I never knew dp was to be exempt from responsibility because he has a willy.

How are you feeling after these revelations, Stormy?

Stormy I can only think of one word right now. Bastard. Very very low, and very very pathetic of him.

Birthday cakes sound a little ambitious for me. I am relying on the fact that MIL will probably bring one. I have a fairly good basis for this assumption, i.e. she always brings a cake every time she visits, regardless of occasion. I suspect this has much to do with ILs having a very sweet tooth, us me never having anything sweet in the house, unless I've bought it in specially for guests, in which case it is bought, not homemade, and therefore 'not special'

The back is a bit of a worry to be honest as it isn't muscular. DH says one of the knobbly bits is sticking out and looks wrong. It also hurts when I touch it, and the rest of the time I have a weird low grade pain and slightly sick feeling. I'm wondering if I crushed something rolling about on the kitchen floor playing catch the baby. It was a fun game, until that point!

Rainbow adoption would be a wonderful thing to do. The approval process is pretty gruelling, but I' sure you'd sail through it without a worry as you are a lovely mum to your dd already.

Not much doing here today, other than super organisation on my part. So far this weekend I have made and frozen batches of bolognaise, chicken casserole, and fish pie for dd. I'm getting a bit stuck in a rut with baby meals to be honest, as lunch is always a meat or fish meal, and tea something like cheese on toast, scrambled eggs, a veggie lentil dish or sandwiches. Anyone doing anything really different and inspiring?! Please say yes. I need inspiring.

Before he sacked off his phone, for a year and a half he knew I hated how she treated him and I felt incredibly insecure about her being such a big part if his life. But he wouldn't stand up to her and tell her to leave him alone (though he told me he hated her) because it "wasn't worth the aggro". A few weeks back when his dad was being a sexist arse, I asked him to do something about it, and he wouldn't, because he "didn't want the hassle". Anything for an easy life, even at my expense.

Everyone's very quiet...

Hi Stormy, I'm here!

My DH is a bugger for taking the easy option and not wanting to rock the boat but I do believe that f the shit hit the fan he'd stand up for me and I do think you need to have that belief that your partner has your back.

In other news, we've just had our first food success in weeks. It turns out my homemade potato cakes are amazing...now to start hiding veggies in them and see if she still thinks that!

I really don't like Sunday evenings, I just spend the whole time thinking of all the things I should have got done over the weekend. One day I'll be a super organised Wonder Woman!

I'm here too, stuffed full of pork belly, black pudding and treacle sponge. It's been a fail day for the diet, but the in-laws insisted.

Betty's right. We have our ups and downs (trying to focus on the ups) and you have to have believe your partner will stick up for you no matter what. I think Worse said it best...