June 2013 (2) - attempting to get into a routine!

[MrsBri]

New thread for us ladies. :-)

Oh god. I have a headache and feel sick. I never have headaches. Ever. Except when I'm sick. I'm not sick am I? How the feck do you look after a baby when you are sick?

Oh Sunny, poor you. Hopefully you can knock it on its head super-quick. Paracetamol and as much sleep as your LO allows is about all that you can do

A whole week nearly of this periodic screaming I could really use a break health visitor is coming on Thursday and I hope to god she has a solution I've videoed an episode so that if she's on her best behaviour I have proof.

It's doing my head in and hubby is getting really sad he's out at work all day then comes home to a screaming baby who appears to hate him not cool!

So it turns out when you arent feeling well and you have to look after a baby it is your DH who gets the flack. Slammed the door in his face this morning and told himto 'Go away. Just go away' this morning.

In my defence I was soaking wet as I had sweated through the bed clothes and had been up at 2 and 5 with the child who is super clingy to me right now.

You'll forgive me wont you ladies?

Isn't that what they are for sunny ? my poor OH always gets my grumpy side that I dare not show to anyone else ! hope you feel better soon.

Don't beat yourself up sunny. Feeling rough and having a super clingy small child is enough to send anyone over the edge. Can you have a day where you do nothing but cuddle and watch tv? Might help you recharge.

I'm having a meh day. dp was an asshole yesterday, just generally grumpy at me for no real reason. I'm doing nothing but watch breaking bad and see to dd today. Can't even be bothered to be grumpy with him, just had enough and need time out I think.

Good thing was dd actually slept much better last night, back to 2 and 5 wake up rather than every two hours. Hoping that continues.

I was ill a few weeks back Sunny. It was awful. You don't get to phone in sick and lie on the sofa. I lost my voice so couldn't even speak to the Bean. DH was sympathetic but unhelpful. Then he got sick himself. He did call in sick and stayed at home in bed. I was better at that point and took the small girl out to give him space. Afterwards he said 'you know, I now totally appreciate just how hard that must have been for you. I'm really grateful for everything you do for her'.

Totally worth it:-)

Hugs to those who are having an off day.

I remember everyone saying to me that it gets much easier after 3 months - and in some ways it has done. But our babies are still utterly dependent on us and that's hard going, no matter how much we enjoy it. My DH said recently that he thought my days with DS are just as tiring as his full on days at work

Just back from GP. She's reassuringly happy with my breast feeding and will only start to fret if he drops below 9th centile Just need to get used to keeping a low profile with hvs and their less supportive mutterings!

PS: and we're all doing a fabby job of looking after our babies!

(I'll put my pom poms away now)

I think he knew how unwell I was feeling when I didn't swear at him. Normally I swear like a navvy when I'm peed off but couldn't even muster up a 4 letter word at 6am.

He's off to work at 1pm but has been v helpful this morning. He even bought me a crappy magazine. He knows I hate buying them in case someone sees me but that secretly I love reading them!

I'm glad we invested in the happy nappy then! My husband has done that on more than one occasion, MrsBri - I'm too scared to let him go swimming alone with DD now (I've rescued her each time)!

Excellent news re the GP visit, Mrs81, I'm glad you're feeling reassured.

I agree that it gets much easier after 3 months, but it's still really hard work. I find it much harder and more tiring than being at work. But looking after my baby is much more enjoyable.

You know what this place is great, we can moan about how hard it can be without worrying we are being judged. It is easier I think or maybe we are just adapting ?
Oscar is having a day of rolling over every time I look away he is the other way up. off to baby massage now so that will be fun.

Ok so my fab sleeper is now a complete sleep fighter!!! Nights have being getting progressively worse and now she is fighting naps in the day. I have spent the last 2 hours walking around the kitchen pushing her in the pushchair and she falls asleep then wakes up as soon as I try to stop!! Oh the joys of children. I can't mention it to anyone in rl as they all use it as an excuse to advise formula and solids. Concealer is my new best friend!

Amy still doesn't roll much, curly :-/ She's far more interested in trying to crawl. She needs to take it one step at a time!

And despite the feeding issues she's now 15lbs 14oz, so on 91st centile. God knows how heavy she'd be if she ate the amount the formula box suggests is right for her weight!

My washing line broke as I was putting the washing out. :-( It's now being washed again. Sigh.

And that is really good news re the GP, Mrs. You must be relieved. :-)

MadameJ I get the 'why don't you give him a bottle' all the time, anything you say that's the solution. Yes because for hundreds of years babies starved, were too small and didn't sleep. I just smile and say we're fine thanks .

I have a what would you do situation. My Nct class met today. All are happy and babies are thriving. Apart from one. The mum is really struggling. She turned up in dirty clothes, greasy hair, glazed look in eyes, and didn't say much. The baby is formula fed and mum has decided to wean her at 14 weeks on the basis that she wants feeds more than every four hours and isn't gaining weight, so she thinks early weaning will solve this. She's not seeing health visitors because she says she finds it too stressful. The baby really did look scrawny compared to the rest of them. Her home life is bad- lives with in laws who constantly tell her what's best, and money is extremely tight. I don't want to jump in and pretend I know best, but I do worry. What would you do? I don't FF so don't know about her weight gain and early weaning theories but it doesn't seem right. I've read somewhere that even early weaning is not before 17 weeks??

Sarah that sounds so sad poor lady, can you invite her for coffee and be a friend for her ? I'm not surprised she finds hv stressful if she has interference from the people she lives with. Do you have a children's centre locally you can go to with her ? I know ours have trained staff to offer support in this situation they are not hv so a bit less scary.

Sarah, that's very sad

It sounds like it would have been hard for her to get to your meetup in the first place. SureStart is a good idea, as is trying to see her one to one. Are there any local baby/parent groups? In my experience, there is something reassuring about speaking to other mums and reaslising that they find it tough going too sometimes (even if for different reasons). It can take time for that sort of relationship to be built though and some group meetups won't be sufficiently open/honest...

The hvs ought to notice something's amiss when she takes her baby for immunisations if nothing else. The liitle that I undrrstand about weaning is that to try it this early is not wise. Presumably her baby wants to feed more frequently than 4hrs simply because its hungry.

Sorry, I wish I could suggest more. All you can do is be a friendly ear as much as you feel able really.

just come up to bed to find Oscar horizontal across his cot and face down. Not sure how he did it in his sleeping bag while asleep but if I try to move him he will wake up. He did manage to wriggle into our bed from that position earlier in the week when he wasn't in the bag and I put him on his front so now I will probably go without a quilt tonight just in case.

Hmmmm. So our weigh in didn't go too well again today. She's put on weight but has now dropped even further down the percentile chart. We've been given infant Gaviscon and are getting referred to paediatrics. They also suggested topping her up with a bottle of formula at night.

My god giving Gaviscon to a breast fed baby is a complete fag!

Do you want to do top-ups Sunny? Hopefully the Gaviscon helps a bit - watch out for constipated baby!

I do wish health professionals could be consistent about this sort of thing. A (useless) gp suggested top ups to me a while ago, seconds after telling me that bf babies don't tend to get reflux but ff babies are more prone. I think she was talking twaddle personally and since ds still won't use a bottle I ignored her.

There's an old but v reassuring thread on mn about babies who are gaining weight slower than norm (something about little acorns in thread title).

sunny, I am sure I read those charts are based on formula fed babies and out of date ? did they measure her too, is she getting longer so not 'fatter' ?

Sunny when I was giving dd gaviscon I used the syringe out of the calpol to give it to her - mixed in a cup and then squirted it in. It is a true pain when bf. I found as long as it was give a t start or halfway through it was fine, but when she was small and demand feeding and then making it up was a real pain.

Sarah, I have no idea what to suggest re the lady in your group. Is there a book any one can recommend to her? Or lend if you have one that has bee useful. Might be something to guide her. Such a shame for 'helpful' advice not being at all useful.

Was meant to get dd weighed today, but dp's dd was ill at school and it's our night so had to go and pick her up early and didn't mange to get there, it's been 6 weeks now, and I didn't want it to be that long. Sort of annoying they only do it once a week, Thursdays just mean cramming more in than possible.
DSD coincidently after calpol is fine. She suffered ear ache a lot (is on drops but her dm never bloody sends them with her. Frustrates me no end. But at least she's ok. Horrid to see her in pain.

Oh, and is anyone else finding our thread breaks the mn app? I can go on any other thread on the iPad but ours closes it immediately.

I have a red cheeked baby who is a bit more than usually grizzly. I'm not ready for teeth after sorting out trapped wind and a tiny improvement in sleep.

I dont mind topping up with formula. She often gets a bottle if Im out and havent been able to express much. The HV said definately dont stop bf. The reason we're being referred to paeds is to check it is just reflux and not something called malabsorption.

Everyone said oh dont worry shes bf theyre not meant to put on weight so quickly. Then they look at her chart and the worried face comes out. Im glad they are takingit seriously just a little about whether Im doing the right thing or not.