November 2012 - Thinking about first birthdays? Already?

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1813767-November-2012-Next-stage-car-seats-and-yet-more-teething

Lily (((massive hugs))) I often think about you during all kinds of day to day situations; you have been so strong.

sophia I hope the letter will give you some, for want of a better word, closure. I hate that word. It reminds me of Ross and Rachel.

Good night here, as I took a sleeper. I think DH had a bad one with LO. I think she was up at four for an early breakfast, but to be honest I heard a squawk, kicked DH and didn't hear any more :o she also woke up last night at ten. I'm thinking teeth, because the 9 month regression we already had a few weeks ago and I am not going back to that again.

Just a word on my stress. There are lots of moments I think IABU and that I have blown the whole work thing out of proportion, and am in fact stressed about the kids but blaming it on work iyswim. I can't think clearly about the whole thing anymore.

DH and I watched a film last night, uninterupted, for the first time since LO was born. It was nice. Funny. It felt good to laugh.

Morning.

Reflective times.

Can I lighten the mood?

DH managed to wake p last night with the longest and loudest piss I have ever heard. It woke me so I wasn't surprised when I heard the murmurs from next door.

It took me nearly two hours to settle her again.

He'll be sent outside for pisses if he does that again!

I love boden things and keep an eye on the sales. I bought two outfits for p which were without doubt my favourite things for her. One was a turquoise shirt and trouser set and the other a fabulous floral dungarees.

I want more dungarees but this season they seem to have put frills on the 'girls' ones.

Just had a look at Boden. Fuck me!

I am shattered. Up for nigh on 4 hours with J. He slept until 7.30 so I got a bit more sleep. I told DH he was getting up with the girls and he did.

Lily (((hug))) no words x

Pass my DH wakes J sometimes with his beer induced pissing. He thinks I am making it up. It just goes to show how thin the walls are in new houses.

detective sign up to the boden mailing list. They sent me a £15 off voucher with no minimum spend. Agree the clothes are lovely.

I've just come one for a quick seethe.
After having M on my own all week she woke up at 8am this morning, thought DH would get up with her. Nope, stayed "asleep". So I've got up with her, changed her, fed her, bathed her, dressed her, got myself dressed etc and he's still in fucking bed. I know he worked nights mon-thurs but he should have bloody come to bed earlier. We're supposed to be going off for the day today, now obviously can't go anywhere further than an hours drive looking at the time
Arghh! Just fucks me off that getting M up and ready is my responsibility once again

Moorning! 6:30am is apparently morning now, not 7-8ish. Oh well!

I have a feeling today will be a weird day. He wasn't too fussed with his bottle, but ate breakfast. And it wasn't even a crumpet, it was erm, fruity porridge! The boxes are taking up room and he doesn't usually like them but I thought oh well, it gets the boxes out of my cupboard! He ate the small bowl I did for him and half a slice of toast ran out of crumpets

daisy I love making cakes and stuffs! You must post a pic on fb when it's done

Hope you have a good day with the rents pass

I need some bits for e clothes wise too. He is barely fitting in 12-18 vests now, baby grows have a bit longer I think. He has loads of clothes out ATM but that's cos some 12-18 fits and some is too small so he's got a load of 18-24 out too. Madness. I have nothing for 2-3, not a stitch, wasn't expecting to need it for a bloody while!!! To be fair though I do think he's slowing down so I am hopeful he'll stay in 18-24 for a bit now, since he's only just in some of it.

vq sounds thoroughly shit :( bless you

lily it's not your fault you swore and things, it's a normal part of grief I think, I remember my mum shouting at her mum when she'd been up with my brother, something about needing the help and why did she just fuck off. I don't remember, it was a long time ago. I don't think your friend would've meant to Hurt you, or at least I hope not. The two things are completely different and it does an injustice to both situations to compare them. What you have been through and are going through is an awful, awful thing and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. You are very brave and very strong

sophia are they ok to give dry? Cheerios that is

pikz hope the day gets better as it goes on

Woohoo for j going so long between feeds, that's brill stunt :)

Wow, that's some serious pissing going on pass & vq not from you both but your dh's obvs. I would strangle dp for pissing e awake. Git.

Argh fatima that would fuck me off too! Grr

Absolutely VQ. I have discovered that we have no need for the monitor downstairs at all as I can hear p completely. DH did take p this morning so I got an extra hour.

The boden outfits I got p cost a tender each in the sale. Actual price was £30 and £40. Astonishing! The dungarees washed terribly as well but I am willing to accept that that may have been something in the washing machine as the other outfit still looked new after many wears.

One benefit of having a slow growing baby is clothes get plenty of wear!

Lol at the idea that DH pissed P awake! Thankfully he didn't piss on her!

He doesn't usually do that. He did say he will go downstairs in future

Rant away fatima. Poke him with a stick

Hello quiche, sorry I haven't been keeping up with the threads lately.

I also got the Boden catalogue through the door (think must be Bounty selling on my details as I keep getting stuff through with the wrong title) - L loves it as perfect size for him to leaf through. I accidentally looked at some of the baby stuff and oh my goodness it is beautiful. Grey knitted jacket with pink ears anyone?

Lily I am really sorry you are feeling like this - quite normal and rational to feel angry I think. Your friend was obviously very wrong in what she said but is it worth writing to her, expressing your feelings and if she truly understands and is sorry, then letting her back in? I hate to think of you being so isolated. People do say stupid things in times of stress, one of my in laws didn't speak to her sister for ages after she equated losing her dog to the other sister losing her husband. Anyway tell me to mmob but just thought it might be worth salvaging if she was a good friend to you in other ways. Lots of love.

Yawn cheeky wee man needed a feed down when we got in (after finding him up watching telly with my sis!) hopefully it wasn't BM 'Baileys' after my in the pub and then another feed at 3. I reckon it's because he had a pure BLW tea and wasn't stuffed full of puree so woke up peckish. Won't be making that mistake again!

Lily that's horrible I don't know why people get competitive over such things. Just after I lost my Mum in a road accident another friend lost her Mum to a long lingering cancer. Another pal's Mum commented how lucky we were to lose my Mum quickly - given we never had a chance to say goodbye I didn't feel lucky .

I think so kyz. Well, I did. It was ace. Kept him occupied and he had no trouble with them at all.

last church today. Good job not many of my cronies were there as is the Hols, was sad in enough.

I just had a big fight with DH and it's left me feeling all shaky and anxious. He's gone out with the boys, seemingly unaffected, and I'm trying to calm myself down. I just want to crawl into bed and cry.

Now then Stunt, this seems to be happening quite a bit. Your DH seems to be really upsetting you. I am really quite concerned about you. Big hug x what was the row about? Is it tiredness and a bit of both, or is he just plain mean and nasty?

Just a stupid argument that got out of hand VQ. I have taken my inhaler as my chest feels all tight with the stress. Basically I was sitting on the bottom stair playing with J and DH appeared at the top of the stairs and said, Why do you have to sit there, no-one can get up and down the stairs. I pointed out that if he had started walking down the stairs then I would have moved out of the way. Then I said that a normal person would just have said, Excuse me please can I get past you. So I felt that he thought he was the most important person in the house and everyone should get out of his way.

It seems pretty stupid but this morning he was impatiently waiting in the dining room room for me to get out of the kitchen so he could make his breakfast. I was only making a slice of toast for DS2 and our kitchen is 20 feet long so I really don't see why he couldn't move around me. Then when he's making dinner no-one is allowed to go in the kitchen or speak to him. I think it's all a bit weird so I confronted him about it because it's making me feel that I need to watch over my shoulder in case I've accidentally got in his way again. Anyway he rushed out slamming the door and told the boys, Your mother's being mental again. I don't know why I feel so awful about it, maybe it's low blood sugar or something hormonal.

It's normal to feel so awful about it sometimes the little things that turn into big rows are all the more upsetting just because they seem so petty iyswim.

Hmm stunt I agree with VQ. You are very generous with your understanding and care for DH and I know you are very wary of giving one side of the story. However, it does seem like you are often on the receiving end of some pretty unkind behaviour.

Oh dear stunt it sounds as if he is being a little hormonal and touchy. On the other hand you could be worrying about something that is nothing ( I know about this because I a the actual expert in seeing things that aren't there and reading between lines).

See what happens upon his return and go from there. Remember you still haven't been getting reliable sleepies and that always clouds stuff.

((((Big huggies)))))

We're just back from a long drive and a walk in the forest. Still feel down. As I get older I get more scared in the forest of the boar. Six years ago when I moved out here they didn't bother me at all.. I just thought yum, wild boar.

Fwiw I agree with vq and pass your patience and tolerance appears endless.

Stunt you are feeling horrible because it is awful behaviour on his part. I don't think you are being oversensitive. And saying to the boys that you are being mental is never ok - even if you are, which you weren't. Huge hugs.

Massive hugs to you too lily. I think sometimes people feel compelled to say things implying all is ok not realising it isn't helpful. I have had a few people tell me dd will be walking / talking soon and then I'll wish she wasn't - which I find bizarre and preposterous. But actually they are trying to reassure me but just getting it wrong.

And pr - from this end it definitely seems that it is work stress not your kids that has you in a pickle. Be kind to yourself.

Stunt he sounds proper hard work and a bit up his own arse. I'd struggle not to throw things at him to be honest .

Thanks for picking me up guys. I think you're right PR, the biggest arguments are often about the most insignificant things. The biggest fight we ever had was about hollandaise sauce! DH still won't eat hollandaise sauce. It's a difficult situation to be in, I'm certain that DH was abused as a child and it is affecting his relationships with me and our children. He won't accept that his parents abused him so he can't see the damage that he is doing to his own children with the name calling, put downs, threats and punishments. But he loves us and is committed to the family, it makes me wonder whether it is the lack of good role models that causes the problems. And of course everything is heightened by J's shitty sleep. I'm away with the boys for a week from Wednesday so I really hope he gets a chance to relax and catch up on his sleep. The house is being surveyed on Tuesday for our buyers so I'll be able to leave everything neat and sparkly so he won't have much housework to do while we're away.

Just to change the subject entirely, is anyone going to have a cake smash for their LO's first birthday. I quite like the idea so long as I can get an egg-free cake for J. It would be lovely if I could get DS1 and DS2 in on the action as well, I'm sure I'd get some lovely photos.

What's a cake smash?

Glee is making DD1 sing and dance even more than usual.