Dec 08 - three is the new two.

[Vagolajahooli]

Well it seems appropriate you cheeky breeders.

[Mckayz]

I had have a huge crush on James Beattie when I was younger. Now I see him on a regular basis it's so embarrassing as I tend to go red. Not good when we have a VIP thing to go to.

[Honsandrevels]

Peter Crouch or Andrew Castle?? I'm not sure which is the worst option though. During my last pregnancy I had a sex dream about Ed Milliband, it was horrible.

LadyT I'm settled on two but I don't know how you'd decide except to go with your gut instinct. Clearly no one regrets a third when they arrive, babies are lovely! Yet if you looked at it from a financial perspective, a bigger car, shoes, holidays etc then you'd stick with two or never have children in the first place! It's great you got the mortgage though and can make a decision rather than feel you have to stay at two.

[Vagolajahooli]

Haha I think I remember that one Hons.

I blame Sybs, she is a perfect advertisement for having three. She is fabulous. By the by where are you Sybs? What is going on with work?

[ShadyLadyT]

What makes you think that, Beans, is it because he's tall or some kind of sixth sense? [Grin]

Hons, that must have been a shocker about Ed Milliband. I mean, his brother at a pinch - a real pinch - but just thinking about kissing Ed Milliband makes me screw up my face. Politicians are a not very fanciable bunch, though, on the whole.

Dreams can be powerful things, though, especially sexy ones. I had a dream about a boy at school when I was about 12 and I fancied him the whole time. He wasn't even very good looking. But he was very charismatic. He's an academic now, lectures in Economics. I still google him occasionally

I feel a bit flat tonight which is weird. We have stressed for months about this mortgage - eight maybe - and we'll have the cash before the end of the month. I should be thrilled! But I feel all dreary which is unlike me. Maybe it's the fretting over the decision (already) to have a third one.

I am going to read some more chapters of A Fortunate Life. Never has there been a more ironic title. Tragedy and maltreatment lurks round every page turn.

[TheInvisibleHand]

lady, congratulations on the mortgage, that must be a huge relief. I can understand the flat feeling though. I find that often when you've been focused on something for a long time, there is a real anticlimactic feeling once the initial euphoria has faded.

On the three thing. i'm very clear in my mind that in an ideal world I would have had more. but I'm also clear that the moment for that has passed really. if I am very honest with myself, whilst I am sure I would dearly love another child - I can imagine regrets . I guess I feel that at my age and with our life the way it is, I might be pushing my luck. I have 2 sparky, happy healthy children. I can a fine that if we added a disabled child to the mix, for example, would add a huge strain on all of us. I know a couple of people with down's kids. whilst they are great parents who adore their kids and would not wish them away for a second, it's still really hard. my dad is pretty disabled and became increasingly so as we grew up, not easy. Then there is all the other work, money whatever stuff, which I guess come put in the wash, but do mean something. sorry to be eyoreish about it, but I figured i'd put down the other view!

I'm on another stupid o'clock train to the middle of nowvhere have had my fill of this week!

[ShadyLadyT]

Oh dear, Invis - not much of this week left - nearly Friday! You are right on the three thing as well of course...which is the problem. Arguments full of merit on both sides. DP and I need to have a proper long chat about it. I also worry about my career (what there is of it that remains...) I interviewed Inspector Montalbano though, that's going to be in the paper on Sunday.

I am still coughing like Little Nell and am off to have lunch with DH's Dad and other elderly relatives, all in their late 70s or early 80s and a little hard of hearing...SO I WILL BE DOING A LOT OF SHOUTING.

[Nolda]

OMG on interviewing Inspector Montalbano! Did you practise your Italian? Which paper will it be in? Glad to hear you got your mortgage offer too .

[Rubena]

Invis. I completely relate to that.

Its 39 degrees still and 530pm in Dubai. An melting. smug to say hooray I'm on holidays after this!

[Rubena]

By that Invis the 2 healthy children, not the, would have had more

Have a nice day shades. Hope you don't lose your voice!

[ShadyLadyT]

You're in Dubai, Rubes? Waaaaah! I know it's work but I envy every single one of your trips.

I am on the bus home to collect the DDs from my friend. I have done her a favour a few times so nice to cash it in Actually she is babysitting for me Sat night as well but that's a straight swap and I will do the same for her within a month. I am taking DP to see The Great Gatsby!

It will be in the Mail, Nolda. On Sun. I did the interview online, sorry But it was in Italian (with help from my teacher] I'm not totally thrilled with my translation but it's a new skill for me.

[Rubena]

Yes just a night stop Shady. After all the pox fiasco time off I thought I'd better make an appearance. On hols after this though
Was going to say, I also know the flat feeling after stress of something you're waiting on. We both had that after dh exams.

[Artijoke]

poo. poo. poo everywhere. all over ds, in his hair and hands, on my bed, down my skirt, under my chin. full shower for us both. bed stripped, carpet cleaner out.

am i making you want a third yet ladyt????

back later to persuade you properly.

[beans37]

I am madly tidying the house in anticipation of my lovely NCT friend and her children coming to stay tomorrow. Not sure why, when I have two small DDs determined to spread rubbish everywhere. Shortly to be banished to the garden for some serious bouncing action to get them good and tired.

Is it terrible how much I'm looking forward to my weekend with no DH? I love him so very much, but sometimes find it quite stressful trying to look busy when all I want to do is veg out and put my feet up. At least with just the DDs I can sit back and let them play as long as I interact enough to keep them happy! NCT friend coming to stay tomorrow night, then she's off in the morning and Mum is coming up for the day to help me out at the school fete so I can see if I can find some very small second hand uniform for DD1. She really is terribly wee. Then a quiet night in and Sunday am going out for lunch with my lovely friend in the village who walks the dog regularly. She's in her late 60s, but I hope I'm like her when I'm that age. So lovely and sparkly and just fun. I am taking her out for lunch with the girls as I owe her. We have an amazing gastro pub nearby, which is where I went with DH for my bday.

Rubes, I love the sound of Dubai. How marvellous. It is gorgeous here today, though. The washing has dried in double quick time, which is great.

DH playing tennis with a friend tonight, so I can revel in my delicious cauliflower cheese, which he thinks is a side dish. I think it's a whole meal. And it was given to me by a friend in the village who runs the gardens of a huge estate, so she always hands us fresh veg. Yummy!

V impressed with Italian interview, Lady. How do you manage it all?

Arti - how lovely to be so covered in poo. And you sound very zen about it. I hope you're just going to through his clothes away and soak yours in Vanish???

Last night I was SO uncomfortable with this baby. Its head seemed to be sticking into my ribs and it really bloody hurt. I think it's turned now. Phew.

I need something to eat. It's not me, it's the baby.

[Honsandrevels]

Ooh I love cauliflower cheese. My dh was once on a stag do with my old boyfriend (they have a mutual friend) and the boyfriend asked dh if I still make my delicious cauliflower cheese! . Bit odd!

[Rubena]

I do the same beans. In fact will be cleaning even more due to fam coming. But 5 kids in one house.... Won't stay tidy long!
Its not bad at all Beans, however I'm the exact opposite. Always seem to crave dh bring home and night / weekend with. Then when he's on call over night I HATE it and especially when they change him last minute.
Think it's just the sheer amount of work he always seems to do, couple with me not having much going on outside of kids life, so I crave family time constantly! But I can see it could go both ways depending on others situation. Just that I'm probably more needing a life! going away is not very often and also quite an independent experience. Right my food here

[Artijoke]

That is odd Hons! You asked where sells good dresses for those of us who are long in the body. Sadly non of the cheapo places are good if you are tall. For dresses I rate Fenn Wright Manson, Hobbs and if I am feeling very rich then Whistles.

Beans, why do you have to lo

[Artijoke]

Sorry! Typing while swaying DS to sleep.

Why do you have to look busy for your DH Beans? What would he say if you lay down and said you were too tired and pregnant for activity? I did that from about 5 weeks in this time.

Lady, I totally understand your reservations about going for number three. We had exactly the same worries and we ruminated over them for literally years. I don't think many people ever feel sure about a third, it IS a risk. We could never stop asking the question which we eventually took to indicate we needed to go for it because not doing so was obviously not sitting comfortably. Even when I got the positive test I did not feel at all sure that it was the right thing to have done and when we got the 1in 10 chance of Downs I feared we should never have taken the gamble, I've never felt more terrified in my life and it did ruin the whole pregnancy. BUT now DS is here and I just know it was right for us. I know that it was right despite the sleep deprivation, despite the fact that DD2 was difficult in the first weeks, despite the fact DS is unsettled a lot, despite the fact I'm run down and the house is a tip. We just feel right, we feel like we were all meant to be together, we feel like a unit, like we will support each other through our lives in this shape. Practical issues like money, or paying for holidYs or fitting in cars seem utterly insignificant really. The trouble is that you can't be sure you will feel the same without taking the gamble. Good luck deciding!

[Artijoke]

Me again. Still rocking DS. DS still valiantly fighting sleep. Can't wait to go downstairs and EAT but it's not looking close. I've cooked a tomato, chorizo and lentil soup and its calling me, the bar of Green and Blacks is also calling. sleep DS, please sleep. I need to pack tonight too as we are off to Devon tomorrow, can't wait given the gorg weather.

[beans37]

I think, Arti, that it's because of my upbringing. I have this inbuilt guilt about being lazy or sitting on my arse. When actually, I am perfectly entitled to some rest time! I know it is weird!

Your description of 3 is lovely and it's kind of how I feel. I just couldn't stop wondering about a third.

Does anyone else find bedtime hellish? I have literally just had DD1 sobbing uncontrollably about being left in bed. She's been whiney all afternoon and I have found her so bloody irritating. Why can't she just go to sleep? Ended up me screaming at her and giving her a smacked bottom. I know I should probably just hug her, but that feels like conceding, somehow. Am left now feeling distraught and guilty. We both calmed down before she went to sleep, but I just feel do frustrated and cross. She's so damn dependent on me and cries if she can't see me. If I go to the loo I have to do it with the door open and god forbid I should nip into the house to get something or have a wee while she's in the garden; even if I explain to her where I'm going! Feel like I may go insane. And if DH is in charge, she constantly asks him where I am. It's driving me nuts. I love her so terribly much, but apart from when she's at nursery, I get no breathing space and I feel so damn claustrophobic. HELP!

[JamInMyWellies]

Beans I too am not enjoying bedtime at the mo. Am so tired of fighting with DS2 that by 7 I just want them in bed and to leave me alone. Poor DS1 is really missing out on me reading to him as I just cant be arsed.

Ooh Arti that soup sounds lush can you give me the recipe.

Also Beans I also hear you on the sitting thing. A friend this morning tried to take my ironing off me and told me to go home to bed. I didnt let her and I went to Costco and Ikea to get some bits instead.

DH out tonight so have ordered a pizza and a movie on box office.

[JamInMyWellies]

Oh and Rubes very of your pool time.

[beans37]

It is just really hard and I find myself being a bitch to her and I hate myself for it.

[Artijoke]

I know exactly how you feel Beans. We were having hellish bedtimes a few weeks back when DD2 was reacting to DS' arrival. She kept calling us back to her room again and again and I just have no energy or patience left at that time of day. I also know what you mean about feeling claustrophobic, DD2 likes to be with me all the time and she wants to talk and talk and talk and what ever answer I give to her incessant questions just sparks another question and if I switch off and give vague answers she notices and badgers on and on. We all flip at times, I often hate myself for the way I react to me kids when I am tired but it gives me a little comfort to know I am not alone in feeling like that.

[Artijoke]

Jam, how is the bleeding now? IKEA does not sound restful. Please rest.

[beans37]

It gives me comfort too, Arti! Such a relief to know I'm not the only one! It does feel like badgering sometimes. But I know I'll miss her when she's started school!