Dec 08 - three is the new two.

[Vagolajahooli]

Well it seems appropriate you cheeky breeders.

I'm here. Still flushed with joy that Jamie I answered my (not very) interesting question in the web chat. I really wanted to ask if they were going to have anothe baby, as I think they seem like lovely parents, esp Jools, but figured that was too rude so asked about strictly. I'm channelling the late show here

Last day tomorrow then back to reality. Gah. Still, I'll be a size 400 if I carry on rating and drinking like this.

Arti, foes tummy massage help? Mine were never that windy, but friends' babies were and massage sometimes helped it our and sleep to follow. Poor you and poor A

Well done in shoes lady. I am planning for next week. Where has the holiday gone? Where have my babies gone? Feeling old ( but very happy).

Are you feeling happy because your babies are older, Sybs? I was thinking yesterday I'd deffo like a No.3 but tonight I am wavering again. I think I will be like this forever.

I could do with learning to drive this time though but it just fills me with dread. Driving in a city doesn't faze me but people drive like utter berks where I live. Bendy country lanes terrify me.

DD2 is inconsolable that DD1 has got new trainers as well as shoes and she hasn't. Am torn because I hate her to be upset and feel like it's unfair, but there are going to be times when one has something and the other doesn't.

I hope DS has managed to perform, Arti!

I notice that the Co-operative Bank is in trouble. We've got one of the girls' Child Trust Funds with them.

Lady, I SO know what you mean about getting something for be but not the other. It's having two of the same sex so close together. I find it really painful, but I figure they'll forget before too long and shoes are so effing expensive that its one thing I won't give in on!

Also, re number 3, you sound just like me. I was just putting some of my maternity clothes in the wash and I just thought how much I can't wait to get rid of them. So different from when I had DD2 and hung onto them and I just sort of knew I'd have another one, although I wasn't 100% sure I really wanted one. But now I am ready to chuck em all into the charity shop and the same goes for all our baby clothes and toys. Can't WAIT to get rid! I've already taken a huge bag of maternity clothes to charity shop and only have bare essentials left for the next couple of months. Although I am off to buy nursing bras tomorrow.

DH has gone to get a new car. Wahoooo!

I think that it was having my 3 so close together that did for me. By the time my eldest was the age the Dec 08 babies are, I had a 2.9 and a 1y old ! It was very intense and full on. I probably am happier now as life is so much easier now that the kids are bigger. Plus once m is at school I will have 2 WHOLE DAYS a week when I am not at work but have children to look after. Wow! I predict a lot of swimming, tidying and batch cooking going on.

Beans I couldn't wait yo get rid of my maternity clothes either. What car is DH buying? Exciting.

Buying things - mine have had tough love on this one. You get what you need when you need it. If someone else doesn't need it, they can wait til they do. That's life alas. A lot of things are too expensive to capitulate on. Stand firm. As the second child you get a lot of hand me towns but end up with much more stuff overall. Swings and roundabouts

Last day of hols here. Off to town then need to clear up house. It's been so lovely but time to get back to a normal life - pref one which doesn't sometimes have a glass of wine with lunch! Hic!

I usually have trouble if one needs new clothes/shoes & the other doesn't! Thankfully DS I'd now that bit older and I can sort of reason with him. Sort of.

Lady I can sympathise on the country lane driving. Put me in the 3rd lane of the M6 in rush hour and I'm good but country Lanes fill me with dread. I end up driving in the middle of the road!

Can't wait to get them both off to school now. The house needs a deep clean! Like Sybs once DS is ft at school Ill have Mondays and Fridays to myself! Bliss. DH is still banging on about be doing more hours but much less offensive in his manner. I am looking(half hearted). But nothing doing at the mo. I just want a few months of done days off for me. It's been 7 years since I had child free days (other than the odd weekend). I reckon I'll make the most till Christmas and then make more of an effort. Besides the job market isn't exactly brilliant at the moment

Spot how's the new job going?? Are you there??

You ladies are very wise. I really didn't want to shell out on another pr of trainers but the big fat tears rolling down the cheeks and the cries of feeling so sad because it wasn't fair were really doing a number on me. Fortunately she's forgotten about it today...

I think I will probably try for a No.3 because otherwise it will nag away at me. I have never wanted to get rid of the baby stuff and my mat clothes yet I know if I had a third, like you Beans I'd be getting rid of them feeling glad and light of heart.

Haircuts booked for the smalls today and me tomorrow. Which is good. My sister is coming over tonight. I hope she brings my beloved nephews. Well, it seems like five minutes since they were born and they are 21 and 17...

Lost big post bum

Will summarize:
Am so Happy to get time back for me (and to help dh) when school starts as dd in preschool half the week and ds school. Sounds cold but I know I'll be emotional though with his first day. Had no problem selling baby stuff though and felt cleansed and less cluttered every time something was collected from eBay I sold! So I guess you have your answer lady, if you cant let go, and I'm SO SO excited for you!
Had dds induction at new pre school attached to ds school today. Tis lovely. And oh so handy for dark winter days and the gym!! And we can walk there! Everything so new and shiny.
We t on to work with dh as he had morning off. Had ultrasound of leg and could fine nothing except a small cyst. Which would not cause pain. Guilty of wasting consultants time - but glad of it being nothing and although he's baffled re the pain he said there's no damage so can exercise easing into it and stretch a lot and that it may have settled with all the ibuprofen I've been taking / running on! He prescribed red wine.
Ok he didn't.
Oh and I don't generally have too much problem with buying for one and not the other as I think it's easier with boy / girl but also read them riot act before heading to shops. Had an issue in clarks recently but mil was there and asked them to measure dds feet also then we left as no change in size so she melted down so mil bought her some and paid for dds! Result. Sort of.
Right must go. Dh riding home 40 miles later so best make sure I can feed him when he gets back and see what's possible!

Ibuprofen RUBBING on not running! I didn't take ibuprofen then run.

hello ladies, you have a whole new thread. What cheer? How are the school preparations / preggo ladies / lovely 4 year olds? Have seen some of you on fb and twitter but miss you all and the wonderful basket.

Currently having a minor crisis and need help... What to do about terrible bedtime behaviour? It's never been a good time of the day, but today really took the biscuit. E started hitting me while getting undressed so put her in cot for calming down time. Asked S to start undressing for bath. Went to get E, S walked along the hallway pissing on the floor and laughing at me. She's never done anything quite as deliberately bad as this ever. :( told her no stories today or tomorrow, which is pretty much the only sanction you have left at that time of day, she never remembers things the next day.

Dh arrived just as I was battling to wash E's paint-ridden hair, which is never easy. Eventually got them both into bed, but am now in vile mood and twking it out on DH which is totally unfair. She'sbeen getting rather anxious about very small things in the run up to school so trying to reassure her this wasn't anxiousness though, just being deliberately naughty.

We've tried earlier bed times, they manage to drag it out for ages by constantly one running away, or refusing to brush teeth so having to put them basically in a headlock to do it. It's noticeably worse on the days when DH isn't there (ie most) and I'm loath to keep them up later as a) they get worse the later it gets and b) I never know when he'll be back anyway, often it's not until 8 so no reson to keep them up.

Argh! They are so genuinely lovely most of the time, but you say "right bedtime" and a switch flips inside them and they turn into little horrors. Still thinking that motherhood is not for me, lots of mates on FB were saying "can't believe hols are over I will miss my little nippers so much when they go back to school", we had 2 weeks holiday as a family and getting back to quiet work was such a relief :( we tried a good behaviour chart but that didn't seem to motivate S either, she didn't seem to care that it took ages to get up to 10 stars even for little bits of good behaviour and I don't want to end up rewarding her for just doing the things she should be doing anyway eg getting her shoes on should just be done, she shuldn't need a reward for doing it! Am I an evil overly strict mother?

Ps school settling in is total horror here - next week she has one 15 minute meeting with teacher, following week is 9-12, then 2 weeks of 9-1 (staying for lunch), first day full time is 30th sept. Huge pain in the arse, using up most of my leave and seems daft for children who've been settled into a good nursery routine. Best part is that in previous years they did a week half days then full time, the school notification letter said "We're doing something new with settling in this year"... Grand! Thanks for that, we'd made plans on last year's pattern.

Hi JJ! Lovely to see you. Sorry to hear about the bedtime horrors. Have you thought of putting them to bed at different times? I always put DD1 to bed 45 minutes later as she is two years older and I find it works a treat. First DD1 gets some time with us alone which is a huge bonus as DD2 usually gets more attention. Second it gives you time to do reading and school work with DD1 and make that seem a positive for her as she gets to stay up late. Third they both behave much better when put to bed alone, together they wind each other into a frenzy of disobedience but one on one they relish the adult attention and behave really well. I guess it works especially well for us because it happens that DD1 needs less sleep than DD2 and that could not apply in your case but it might be worth trying.

Rubes, I am glad the leg is OK.

Sybs, I had never really twigged how close together you had your kids. Three in well under four years. That is amazing. You really are super mum.

I found the holding onto maternity wear chat fascinating. I never got read of a thing after DD2 even though I was not at all sure about having another. I kept ever maternity outfit and every babygro. This time I have already given away all my pregnancy stuff and the second DS looks slightly big for an outfit I whip it off him and practically run to the charity shop. I am loving having him, and I think I will always looks wistfully at other little babies, but I really do know that I am done now.

Arti - that might work, would need to trust S on her own for a while tho as DH rarely home in time. Plus E is the one who stays awake chuntering to herself for ages, and they share a room. Worth a go though if we can find a suitable (non beebies) activity for S. Of the two it's E who needs less sleep, possibly because she's still havjng a daytime nap - she's always awake first - she clambered out of her cot this morning for the first time and came to see us, had hoped we might keep her imprisoned in there a while longer...!

That sounds tough, JJ. Bedtime is also a lowpoint in our household (well, that sort of supper-morphing-into-bedtime-groan-zone). I am too knackered to respond properly now but I would particularly urge you not to be hard on yourself...More tomorrow.

Glad the gam seems ok, Rubes. Take it easy.

Oh JJ you sound like me! My two have got increasingly naughtier as the holidays have gone on. It's the lack of routine it does nothing for them. I really think the summer ha should be 4 wks max!! Bedtimes are stressful to say the least but like arti I do put DD to bed later, if she behaves! If I can get DS settled I can cope with one! Both of mine have taken a liking to You've Been Framed. It's great as its usually on ITV2 every night when CBBC finishes

I also have friends on FB who have an itinerary if days out for the whole 6 wks and then feel sad when the holidays end. I think they are bonkers!! I love my 3 days at work, gives me a welcome break. I'd throttle them otherwise. In fact last weekend I could have dropped them at Social Services. They always push my buttons when DH is working

Which brings me onto the 3 or not to 3. I knew after having DD that I only wanted 2. Confirmed by the fact that when pg with DS I would get rid of maternity clothes as I grew out of them! Same with his clothes and baby things he grew out of! I think if you have that nagging feeling that you may want 3 then go for it!!

JJ, mine share a room too but that adds to me incentive to put them to bed at different times: they fall asleep more quickly alone. DD1 just reads or does Lego while I put DD2 to bed.

Oh JJ sounds stressful..... You sound so tired just with that post. Been trying to think of a solution or some decent advice. Can only relay what happens here really. Mine don't share a room but still go to bed at the same time, unless one has been naughty. Anywhere from 7-8 If they dawdle or whine, and it's later than 7ish then they know it will mean too late for stories. If they kick off about baths (which are around 6) then we say it will mean no milk, so they usually comply as they LOVE their milk. It's usually me doing baths and dh arrives home while they are in it or after, or sometimes even when they are in bed and I say they can wait up for him as he'll be back any minute as long as they don't get out.... and boom, they are asleep every time.
DD quite likes a bath, but ds not so much. I think although they don't like bedtime coming, they comply, as if there was ever any instance of kicking off about it, we usually get quite extreme and apply massive consequences -well massive to them! DH follows through big time, so they tend to be more well behaved for him than for me, but I'm applying his technique a lot and they are listening. My biggest problem is getting them to not run riot in supermarkets ie I'm having a Vodka Tonic now to numb my Sainsbury's experience earlier!
Could you try just sending them to bed the minute they kick off if they refuse to do things you've asked, after giving them 1or 2 warnings and explaining the consequences? I remember we had to do that recently with ds and he was so shocked that although he screamed and kicked etc for the good part of an hour, he still remembers that he was put straight to bed that day. In other words, if they are naughty about things near to bedtime, we threaten they will go straight to bed, and then they bloody well will and we don't worry about teeth / routine etc and they don't get a second chance, so nine times out of ten they comply. Also dd likes her door shut and ds likes his open, so if he at all calls out or comes out necessarily, we threaten to shut / lock the door (there is no lock it would be us holding it) and he usually gives in and goes to sleep etc.
it certainly isn't easy and I feel your pain as your dh works quite late a lot too, and how often are you working? Could it be naughty behavior as they are wanting attention?

Anyway, I will come back - just want to asses the dinner / supper / tea situation.... dh working today (at other job so at least I can predict his arrival) have been to dd's second induction day and took ds then to the shops. is it sad I'm excited about XFactor? I can hear Lady saying Yes!
Was going to moan about mil too but won't bore you all!

JJ will you have any days to yourself when S starts school? How often does E go to preschool?

H JJ I fel your pain. We have it too, Although seem to have come through the worst of it. We've arranged DD1's bedroom so she can see out of the door. They are both scared of having the door closed. Properly terrified. I read both girls a story together, then I get DD2 into bed with a song or 2, while DD1 has a 'read' in her room. Then I go into her and we have a 5-10min chat, then I do a song for her too and leave them be. They both tend to shout out goodnight a few times and I have to reassure DD1 that I won't go outside and that I'll be in the kitchen! Bt we seem to have passed the worst now, thankfully.

DH has taken the girls to stay with his sister for the night, leaving me with the dog and nothing to do. It is total bliss. I don't know what to do, quite!been and bought 2 nursing bras and had lunch with a friend. Now just watching telly and browsing the net! Dog keeps barking for no reason. Really pissing me off.

PS Rubes, am also excited about XFactor. Mostly because DH not here, so I can watch it without him telling me how shit it is. Does Strictly start next week?

Ha! I will be right on board with Strictly as well Beans. Yes dh never did care for any reality either, but admitted last night that when you watch BB from the beginning it's quite clever and he also doesn't like XFactor but tends to watch it at the very late stages, then annoy me about "who got out" and "what was the judges feedback on her" and it gets really annoying so I don't answer, and he'll mill around and listen as he gets an insight from the nurses at work chatting about it, then has to know, although he would never admit to watching it

Funny how your dh always takes the girls off to other family etc. it would never happen here as he's get me to come - but actually he wouldn't want to go himself. it's funny, I watched the last few times his Mum came over and he almost instantaneously retreated to the office. I don't even think he realizes he does it until I pointed it out! I would hate it if he went off to his mums without me, as I am always fighting for dh's attention between kids and work (mainly) But I know you get peace and quiet and enjoy it so I think you should have a take away and watch Xfactor! Even a cheeky spritzer!

Oh dear God, the "he hit me, she hit me" comments have began....

Rubes, that sounds like a plan. I'm at work full time, we get home at about 6 so if we want to have any family time we usually get them into the bath at about 7, try to have lights out 7.30 but then they jabber away or keep getting out of bed... I guess the whole full time work/parenting thing really is a bit too knackering! In fact when S starts school we'll get lots of afternoons together which I'm hoping will help her as she'll get extra attention, it's my plan to leave E in nursery for most of the afternoons and give S some one to one time. Will def try separate bedtimes, make a big sl of S being a big girl now, allowed to be up later etc. have to reply on E staying in her cot - she was having her nap upstairs just now while I was out with S, she managed to climb out of bed, open the stairgate and come suprise DH!!!

On the supermarket issue, the only suggestion I have isnonline shopping! The girls know that the groceries man comes once a week and they run to the door saying "we'll be there in a minute!" :)

Beans, enjoy your lovely peace... How many weeks are you now? Having discussed getting the snip, the other day Dh said "our girls are so lovdly, should we have another one?" !!!!!!!

He does always head off to family, doesn't he? This weekend is being referred to as my maternity leave and am under strict instructions to rest. But I'm bored already!!

JJ I really think it's crying out for your attention. Didn't know you went back full time. Although, it can be sorted and worked out, as loads do it. ds's school is swamped with full time breakfast and after school club bookings apparently, as we are in a big London commuter area, and most kids have both parents working full time and can't get back until 6 on the train.
Yeah I usually do Ocado order for full shop aside from half the thijngs we need at Costco (learnt to do that with just 1 child ) but was half way in town after dds induction today and had to get dh's trousers sorted as he is in court Monday and just told me now so thought ooo I'll just pop in and get that bacon I needed for Carbonara and obviously some wine, and bread. But dd decided to be naughty (as per usual) and ds then tried to police her but at the same time gets sucked into her naughtiness, and on it goes. Drove home lecturing him that if he didn't get involved, only she'd be in trouble. But I realize he's a bit young to carry that out, despite insisting he understood we shall see.

WOW JJ are you thinking a number 3 then? Exciting times on the thread!

JJ, nice to 'see' you. Sorry the girls are playing up at bedtime. The boys go to bed quite well. But can come down up to 20 times in the evening. I am constantly amazed how many wee's DS1 can possibly need (our bathroom is downstairs) and why he can't wee without coming into the front room first.

DD is still awful at bedtime. DH decided to try to let her cry last night, after 30 minutes he had brought her downstairs as her crying was upsetting him. I am pretty sure she'll be in our bed when she's 18.

My Step Brother got married today. We are meant to be going to the evening do at 7:30. But I have nothing to wear as I am so bloody fat and it is quite late for the DC. But we think we'll go for an hour or so.