May 2013 thread our new and not so new arrivals

[BeauticianNotMagician]

Hi ladies

Just thought we could all really do with this. Rather selfish a its mostly for the thousand odd questions I have and things I'd like to share/ vent that no one else would understand.

We've all been together so long I even talk about you all to DP

No of course not.
I do feel better if we go out though. Even if it's to tesco or somewhere. But I'm like that normally without a baby! I know it's hard though. Especially if you're bf and demand feeding. It's fine if you're confident in feeding in public but that takes a while to get to that point.
If you've got a bf cover I've found that this has made it even easier.
I couldn't do public transport though. I've not used pt for years though . I wouldn't know where to start. But my bjcm takes a second to fold I still wouldn't get on a bus do you have a sling? That would be easier?

I also like going out because most of the time, the attention we get is welcome . We get maybe even more this time as she's so tiny. But it's nice to show her off a bit .

Oh, and I feed wherever now. I went for an opticians appt the other day an I fed her a bottle whilst there! She decided mid eye test she was hungry-an hour early! If you're prepared it won't stress you out.

But this is dc2. I'm a lot more laid back horizontal

I think the issue of feeding and bum changes is really putting me off too - bottle feeding. I've fed her in the car at B&Q when she got hungry, we were doing demand feeding, now she is able and happy to eat loads and go at least 2-3 hours between feeds, but earlier on her poor tummy just seemed to reject bigger feeds, particularly if we had the audacity to put her down on her back after a feed.

I've just asked my mum to take me out on the weekend so I can do feeding and nappy changing in a shopping centre with a bit of moral support. I know I'll be fine and so will DD but aaaaaargh. I need to be more laid back too!

Purr, that sounds like a really good idea - I reckon sometimes it's fear of the unknown making things seem much more daunting than they really are. Once you've done the feed and changing in the shopping centre then hopefully the next time will be a breeze as you'll have done it before (that's my theory, anyway!)

My relationship with DH has been really up and down since DD was born. I am probably still feeling resentful of the way he basically carried on as normal for the first week or so, as if just because I'd already had one baby I should be able to get on with looking after a toddler and newborn on my own as if it isnt any different!! After DD was born (at home) we both got a couple of hours sleep then I got up to look after toddler and parents before they left us, and DH went back to bed for 6 hours then kept on about popping into work for a few hours the next day. Grr still makes me angry when I think about it now...

Am also struggling with my own (lack of) identity, which I'm sure I'm taking out on DH when he comes home from work. Some days I just feel bloody boring, I bore myself talking about our day and can tell DH is not interested either - hard to make going to the park and managing to change the sheets sound exciting! Not sure I can do much about that in the short term though.

Oops that turned into a bit of a rant!

purr I had 3 sections and I always hibernate after each.. My mother in law was obsessed with taking the baby out for fresh air but my mum suggested if I felt tired, sore and generally not up to it then wrapping a baby up in a cot or pram by an open window would be just as beneficial. To be honest I get a bit people phobic post baby and just want to stay in my surrounds. Then I just take nice walks with the carrycot pram. Longer each time. Going out with a baby to shops & restaurants takes practice & confidence & there is no urgency. Good idea to take first trip with your mum. By the way my doc always signs me back driving at 4-5 weeks. As long as your confident you can do an emergency stop & your scar has healed nicely its no problem.

Purr definitely have a practice run of getting out the house. Most places have baby changing rooms where you can lock yourself away to get on with it. I usually do a feed in a cafe or something and then hunt out a changing room. The school run drives me mad each day I would happily stay home for most of the day. I have to make sure I feed T before I leave the house as I don't drive and nowhere to stop on the hours walk to feed or change him.

I'm lucky in that DP has been quite good with helping out. He does an 11 hour day at work and often has to come in and cook for the boys. We did have an argument last weekend as he got ridiculously drunk and couldn't get his key in the front door. I told him drink wise enough is enough with a five week old as well.

Hi all, not been here for a while. I can see we're all having similar issues!

purr I was wondering how you were doing. Sorry to hear your DH is not being especially helpful. Going out with your mum sounds like a really good idea, also heading for baby friendly places. I went to a la leche league meeting recently, that was great for relaxed bf. I thought it might be full of beardy ladies bf their 10yr olds but it was refreshingly normal.

And you can absolutely NOT stifle a 5 wk old baby! All they need is to be close to mummy and be fed. Honestly your DH is being very silly! Your sanity is very important, just take it easy. But sometimes just doing short trips out can be good, you can just start off going out to ...post a letter and then build up. I would also recommend a sling, ds sleeps mostly when he's in it so going out is quite easy. I've got an ergo.

Have you heard of 'what mothers do'? It's by Naomi stadlen, it saved my sanity when I had dd. motherhood is relentless and quite boring in the early days. This book makes you realise how much we're all achieving.

tas 'full of bearded ladies feeding their 10 year olds ' LMAO

It is hard with a newborn. I'm on my third and still not 100per cent confident in what I'm doing as all babies are different. Just do whatever your comfortable with don't feel bullied by your DH or anyone.

I made it to a weight watchers meeting this week without T. I literally stayed for weigh in and left. 1 because I didn't want to be away from T. 2 I'm so used to making silly faces and yawning all day that I've forgotten how to hold a conversation 3 even if I wanted to baby brain and extreme tiredness warrant me incapable of stringing a sentence together and most importantly 4 I've just had a baby and if I want to slob about all day in trakkie bottoms staring at the housework with loose women on in the background I bloody well will

Been meaning to ask a question. I had my six week check today. What is everyone choosing as contraception? Obviously I'm super nosy and no need to reply if you don't want to I just can't decide what to choose myself.

It's so frustrating we have pregnancy hormones, post birth hormones and yet still I'm expected to load more hormone into my body. For this reason having been on the pill since 16 I'm thinking of trying the copper coil as it has no hormone . Men have it so easy

Beaut, we'll use condoms. I don't react well to hormonal contraception and I couldn't face a coil. But actually I find a baby is quite good contraception!! ;)

I'm scared of DTD; I'm not sure when I can after having stitches from my tear. I've got it in my head that its going to hurt.

That's a point beaut I'm a week overdue for mine. My choice of oral contraception has depleted after having cholestasis, I don't react well to the mirina or injection, and I need one that completely stops the bleeding endometriosis pain I think I may have to go down to family planning clinic and discuss it with them.

I've had a permanent option sorted during the section not that it's relevant. Can't think of anything I want to do less right now.

I really don't want to discuss contraception at my 6 week check. Condoms have worked perfectly for me so far. I don't get the keenness to push hormonal contraceptives once you've had a kid. I feel a sarcastic head tilt coming on. I did actually plan DD, with my partner. I saved for a year beforehand. I had a spreadsheet and everything. I knew the average price of a single nappy across brands and supermarkets months before we even started trying. Now you're going to treat me like I, what, got pregnant by accident and would like to avoid it happening again? Do you think I just fell on my husband and, oops, now we have a baby? I was capable of using condoms before and I am now. I will not use something that could potentially make me fat, spotty, moody, or kill my libido.

Ranty rant... I might be more sympathetic to the cause if they were dragging my husband in for a six week check and pumping him full of hormonal contraceptives that sent him doolally.

I just realised my rant there was insensitive towards those that are happy using hormonal contraceptives and towards those that need to use them. I'm sorry. DD has slept like a charm this week and has tonight decided definitely no sleeping will be happening for either of us. So gutted. I had plans for tomorrow and I can see I might have to cancel so I can waste time chasing sleep... Asked my DH for help and he said he would help if he wasn't working. Cheers, twat.

purr maybe put it to your DH like he has no choice but to help you. perhaps he doesn't get the importance of practical support to you. Reckon some men just really don't get how difficult it is and need it spelling out to them.

Contraception wise, I came off the pill about 8 yrs ago as it wasn't agreeing with me. Used condoms ever since. This question from the GP irritates me too. It's like they're telling me I've populated the world enough for now, thank you very much.

Haha agreed baby is definitely good contraception. Bunny I was a bit worried about dtd and I didn't even have a tear/ stitches etc. we've only managed once and that's only because just before my 6 week check I wanted to know if all was ok so I could mention any problems to gp.Dp doesn't know that

I don't really want to have to have a coil but DP hates condoms I was going to ask about getting sterilised but having no choice about having anymore just seems too final IYSWIM. DP has said he will get a vasectomy but I feel that would be selfish on my part as he only has one child of his own whereas I've got three.

And if you dare to say "abstinence works quite well" to the GP, they don't believe you.

I find Breastfeeding a good contraceptive too, leaking boobs just isn't sexy in my book.

Baby in the room is also quite off putting I find.

frustrated I'm also finding that I never feel sexy- just a walking milk machine. I live in tshirts ski can feed, Im constantly covered in milk and usually sick too. How my DP is attracted to me, I'll never know x

Ski-so; of course that made sense stupid iphone

I'm thinking of going for the coil too as I want to stay away from any hormone contraceptive, has anyone any experience of it?. I think I may be the only person looking forward to the 6 week mark so I can dtd .

In the hospital the midwife came round and gave us some condoms in an envelope to take home, and then gave us all W's paperwork to take home to register her birth and register her at the gp surgery. When we went to the registrars office to get W's birth certificate dp lifted the wrong envelope and almost handed the woman an envelope full of condoms! Luckily I asked him to double check the envelope when we were in the waiting room.