May 2013 thread our new and not so new arrivals

[BeauticianNotMagician]

Hi ladies

Just thought we could all really do with this. Rather selfish a its mostly for the thousand odd questions I have and things I'd like to share/ vent that no one else would understand.

We've all been together so long I even talk about you all to DP

Mine were like empty icing bags after my speedy DSs were finished. My DD could never empty them cause of her crapoy latch (I suspect)

I have this for DS with just a swim nappy underneath.

Keeps him lovely and warm to the point of him keeping me warm too just by holding him (which is great as I get really cold in swimming pools when I go with the kids). Also makes it very easy to keep hold of him.

Nearly forgot the link, oops! here it is

Has anyone started shampoo and body wash on baby? Which one do you use?

Johnsons bedtime bath.

Another Johnsons user here, although I've not used the shampoo yet, just the body wash, body lotion and bedtime bath.

Us too! I love the smell. To me it's what babies should smell of . My DM used it on my much younger sister so I remember the smell.

I've just been using water in skin and a teeny bit of v mild organic stuff on hair but her scalp is starting to get scaly so now I just put teeny a bit of emollient in bath.

I was using johnsons bath stuff as we were given a load but I suspect DS's skin reacts badly to it. Been using infacare bubble bath which seems better. Still using johnsons shampoo. Will do the same for baby when she's a bit older but don't plan on using anything other than water for the first 3 mths. Might use a bit of shampoo to avoid cradle cap if needed.

We bath DS2 in water with a little squirt of baby oil in it.

Once he got bigger, we moved onto the Johnson's for DS1.

So - no shields for 48 hours now, and TBH I don't think I could go back to them if I wanted to - DS would refuse. So I just need to stick it out!

Direct contact seems to have sent the signal to my production centre to "MAKE MORE MILK" so now we're battling oversupply. Sigh. Block feeding for several feeds on one side before switching - and feeling like I'm going to explode on the other. No wonder I also have stretch marks. But one side feels like it's getting there, and the other is better, if still really sore. So there is light at the end of our tunnel.

DS2 is growing enormously, so he's pretty happy. Starting to get frustrated though when I insist on putting him back to a breast that isn't spraying milk at him at high velocity! A small man of little patience. ;)

That's great rhienne! It suddenly clicks with regards to the shield, doesn't it? Fx it continues for you 😊

Well done Rhienne for sticking at it despite the trouble you've had. It doesn't sound easy.
With DS I never had spraying milk: more of a rapid drip. This time I've even sprayed myself in the face

That sounds great Rhienne! Well done :)

:o lolly at spraying yourself in the face. Quite an achievement! I woke DP up in the middle of the night when DD3 unmatched mid let-down and I sprayed milk over to the other side of the bed and onto his arm. I don't know what he thought it was but his reaction was quite funny to me (well most things are at 4 in the morning)!

Unlatched not unmatched!

I've been using Burt Bees Baby bath, smells like honey, it's divine. I only put a little splurt into DD's bath, and don't use shampoo yet. It's quite expensive stuff though, but a little goes a long way.

So we've been sleeping upstairs for two weeks now. I've gone from getting one hour of sleep a night to between 4.5 - 6 hours. I really hoped I would be feeling the benefit but I feel just as exhausted. I can't switch off instantly when she goes to sleep, so sometimes I just lie there on the verge of tears wishing I could win the lottery and pay for someone to do nights. I asked my DH to do a night on the weekend and he said he'd need time to plan for it - ie sleep during the day beforehand. I didn't really know what to say. I don't get to sleep during the day. I do 24/7. I don't know why he thinks he's special. There's definitely a sense that he is special because he pays the mortgage and I'm at the bottom of the pile. I'm beginning to loathe him. Ugh.

Anyone else with a DH who thinks he is the bees knees because he goes out to work, comes home, holds the baby for half an hour, goes on his laptop and then toddles off for a baby-free sleep from 10pm to 7am? Wow. What a guy. End of rant...

purr I can kinda relate. DP sleeps in spare room as he can't do the feeds at night as I'm bfing. He goes to work the plays footy after on a mon, badminton on a thurs and keeps making weekend plans for us both. He has no idea x

We have no spare room anymore so DH is lying next to me and no matter what is going on:- regurgitating feeds, explosive poos, painful wind, screaming crying... He sleeps through it... Miraculous. He will get up for the other two if they are ill if I throttle him awake (nudge very purposefully) but otherwise he sighs deeply as he enters yet another uninterrupted sleep cycle. Then he tells people how well we're going with the night feeds with not a hint of irony .., seriously .. I understand purr

Glad it's not just me. Sorry to whinge, but it gets quite lonely. My DH refuses to believe I'm struggling, I refuse to admit I'm struggling in case someone tries to label me with PND - this is not PND, this is legitimate exhaustion, frustration, isolation, even bereavement for all those nights I'll never sleep, those fags I'll never get to smoke, those hangovers I'll never get to create by getting wrecked, those sick days I'll never get to have because you don't get to really have a sick day if you're a parent, do you? I suppose I'm hyper aware of the negatives because all friends and health visitors / midwives want to gush about is making sure I enjoy this time, I'll never get it back, they grow so fast etc.

I get the feeling that my DH could openly say, actually, 24/7 care of a small baby is a bit boring, and lonely, and no one would bat an eyelid, but for the mother of the child to say such a thing is abhorrent in some way.

I didn't expect it to be amazing or easy, and sometimes it is both of those, and I really do enjoy my DD and enjoy being a mum, but I do feel this sense of pressure to act like I'm enjoying it even if I'm not, otherwise it's PND. Sometimes all you need is someone telling you to enjoy something to suck all the joy right out of it. Am I making any sense or have I finally gone off the map into gibbering madly?

Hi Purrpurr. I think you're just putting into words what most mothers feel. It's wonderful having a new baby to hold, to cuddle, to love, to protect; but it's also exhausting, painful, nauseating, boring, scary and restricting. And it's VERY frustrating when those near us don't understand just how hard it is to take care of a newborn, while not having slept properly for weeks.

You are not alone, you are making perfect sense.

Are you breast or bottle feeding? If you're bottle feeding, try to leave the LO with your DH alone for at least 1/2 a day, so he gets an idea of what you're going through. And hold out for him to do a whole night (with or without "preparation" - whatever it takes), so you can say "think about it: I've been doing this EVERY night for WEEKS now!"

And whatever happens, come vent with us here. We all understand!

pur I agree. And actually, if I'm honest, this is m least favourite part of being a mum. I much prefer it when they give something back-basically very soon! I love seein their personalities come through. Dd1 is 3.5 and we say every couple of months this is the best time with her. It gets better I promise.
As for DH. Mine is annoyingly the same this time. I don't remember him being like that last time. He really resents me being on may leave if else are both honest. He sees it as me being on one massive holiday. He walks in and makes comments about the lack of house work done etc and hardly ever achknowledges the achievements if I've done anything!
That makes him sound awful. I know it's a phase. He's found the whole thing really hard (boohoo). I don't think he's really bonded with A. Probably due to her being in hospital for 7 weeks and him working during that time. He'd go and see her after work at 10pm, but I know he resented it some nights as he was tired (started at 8am!). It's only really now after lots of prompting that he's starting to want to be with her iyswim.
10 I can totally relate to what you're saying about feeling like you've 'got off likely'. The other babies and mums I was friends with in the hospital all have similar stories, but their babies weren't so prem (32 weeks+). There was a couple of mums I chatted to having a bad time and even at the time I felt guilty. In theory their babies should have been in a better place than A as they were more mature, much bigger (A was the smallest on the unit for weeks-and the most prem). So far, most of the niggles here have turned out to be ok, and I'm starting to relax. I must admit that I really want that first proper smile! Feel like its a big milestone. She's 5.5 w corrected.

Right. I've rambled. Both DDs have ear infections (lovely new family trait) and the house looks like a bombs hit it. Hoping the rain stops so I can take dd1 out. It's going to be a long day.

Thank god for this thread, it's really helpful to talk about this stuff.

Got a corker from my DH last night which I wanted to check with you lovely lot. He says by not taking DD - 5 weeks - out, I'm stifling her. Now I'm not allowed to drive until 6 weeks after the c section, that is this coming Monday. I don't feel happy about taking her on public transport as I don't hold her with one arm in the house so I certainly wouldn't do that on a bus so I could fold a buggy with the other hand. I've gone out on a walk on Monday but nothing since then, just far too tired and by the time we're in a position where we could actually go out, she's due a feed, or I'm really flagging with tiredness, or it's nearly dinner time...

Can you stifle a 5 week old baby? :(