Feb 2011 - We're 2 - enough said!

[wigglesrock]

...

Hard time over Christmas here. Drs have told me its too dangerous to continue the pregnancy. I'm in pieces. I wish there was something I could do. I'm not in a good place, every fibre of my being wants to keep it but I can't leave tom and freya without a mom. I'm so angry, sad, guilty and low. I never dreamt I could feel like this or be in this situation my dp is trying to be as supportive as possible but he can't understand it. His heart condition has worsened so is facing open heart surgery next year so we're dealing with that as well. 2014 was supposed my year and all I can see is black. Sorry for the me me me post.

Oh no flustered why did GP say that? (if you don't mind me asking). Is it dangerous to you or the baby? I see on fb you're really suffering with ms you poor thing.

Ledkr you are brave going to PIL for christmas. Were they OK with Ella? Hope so as I know they can be a bit favouritistic. Hope the Grandad is OK?

flustered I'd get a arcing opinion or at least another consultation then ask to see a counsellor to help you.
What a terrible decision but you must stay well for the children you already have especially as their dad is useless.
Ill be thinking of you honey xx

I've had the second opinion. As my cervix is very weak I would not carry to term and would be on bedrest for a lot of the pregnancy or risk premature labour and because of the scarring I have after 2 csecs and the haemorrhage I had when having freya that going into natural labour could kill me. I can't be on bed rest with 2 children when I'm on my own 90% of the time. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to think about and wish there was some other way but I have to think about my 2. They told me later on I might be able to have another but my bodys not healed enough yet and with my uncontrolled asthma its putting too much stress on my body.

We'll then you have no choice but they should refer you for decent counselling as this will hit you hard.
I know what it's like after cancer to have limits on your life.
I still feel angry because I can't lift heavy stuff or do press ups (sounds trivial but feels less so when you are doing a class and have to say you can't do it) not being able to breast feed the girls when I enjoyed it so much with the boys.
But then I stop and realise how lucky I am to have survived the bastard and be here living.
Sorry you have this shit decision to make.

flustered - that's a very heartbreaking decision to have to make. I'm so sorry you're faced with this.

Flustered, what sad news. What an awful thing to go thru. Love to you

Flustered what a terrible position to be in. You're right though, you do have to think about Tom and Freya and your own health. Echo Ledkrs comment about a counsellor. What an upsetting time for you. When are you seeing the GP/Doctor next?

Monday for my first 2 hour counselling session and I find out what will happen. I don't know what will happen after then, think I'll then be given an appointment at the hospital. I'm so scared but I've had to switch off my emotions. I'm spending new year with dp and the kids will be at their aunties so it gives me some time to prepare mentally for the next couple of weeks.

Oh flustered sweetheart, I'm so terribly sorry, such sad news. Take care, get as much support as you possibly can. Would it be worth having a look at some of the antenatal boards on here for some support as well. Will be thinking of you xx

Great idea wiggs there is a whole thread for women who have to terminate for medical reasons.
Prayers for you love x

Happy New Year!

Having spent last night clutching cocodamol & covonia I think it's safe to say we had a quiet one!

flusteted I hope the next few weeks are kind on you & you get support & a shoulder to cry on & rant at - here & in real life xx
blizy I hope you get everything you wish for & you can have my New Years wish too sweetheart xxx

Happy new year everyone

Flustered I can only echo what everyone else has said and hope you get a lot of support in real life and on here too. We're all here for you.

Blizy I agree with wiggles who said it much better than me

Hope everyone had a good nye, especially wiggles yours sounded very exciting
Ours was fun pil came over til about 10pm and we talked politics for a bit which I hate talking about at the best of times, it's boring listening to other peoples opinions about a that kind of thing (including you dp )

Then got up early with A and have felt a bit crappy so had a little cry and a big shower and now surprisingly feel a bit better I'm not even hungover but could really do with a fry up... Hope everyone else is feeling well this morning, here's to 2014 eh

Oh flustered I just realised I pretty much copied what wiggles said. Unintentional but well meant!

Happy new year everybody! I have a very positive feeling about 2014, think it's going to be a good one...

ponyo why the crappy feeling? Hope you aren't getting ill?
flustered the procedure itself is not too bad so there's nothing to fear about that, obviously the emotional side is a different story. Make use of any counselling they offer you, plus the suggestion of specialist boards on here sounds a good idea. Again, echoing the others, everybody is here for you x
wiggles eek! medicine fuelled NYE! Not ideal! Hope you are feeling ok?

Big helloes to everybody! Feeling quite good but tired as C was awake loads whinging, then eventually kicked me out of bed at 2am as she didn't want to share the pillow with me. As I was worn out from NYE hangover I was not impressed and did a very teenage flounce to sleep in DD1s bed....thankfully it was empty or it would have been the sofa!
Right, I should really go and do some uni work, got less than a fortnight for two big assignments yet I truly cba to do anything! Still feels like the holidays!

Hello mizk and happy new year! Ahh am feeling better today, think it was a bit of the new year blues Deffo not getting ill, no time for that! Massive at your teen style flounce! A has been wanting to come into our bed recently because hers "is cold" (yeah right) and last night I was too tired to fight it so let her starfish out on our bed with me hanging off the edge, grr. So I'm going up to pile blankets on her in a minute ;)

If anyone wants an example of crappy parenting I have a thread in chat about me biting A's finger in front of the nursery staff today, I felt so bad but there are some other very funny stories on there too :) it's called how to be the worst parent ever

ponyo I was drinking champagne on new yrs eve with getorf. Ella decided around 11 to tell me she was being Internet bullied by someone's ADULT sister.
Cue me putting a stop to it in a less than adult manner.
(Told her t stfu or I'd shove her I pad up her I arse!
Oh dear.

Ledkr that made me laugh. Your New Year's Eve sounds nice btw! Is getorf very glam? I imagined her to be a real horsey farmer type until I saw some one else say the same thing ages ago and getorf described herself, she sounds anything but horsey!

She's tall and thin and gorgeous. Bitch!
Very funny and a terrific friend.
I'm having my ovaries out tomorrow (cancer risk) and her and dollytwat heard I was scared and alone as dh was working.
They both turned up at my door with champagne and chocs.
Lovely mates to have.

Ledkr is that today you're having the op then? Good luck love. That was really lovely of getorf and dollytwat, that's the kind of friends you need in life! Hope you're ok. Let us know how you get on x x

ledkr good luck my sweet, will be thinking of you xxxxxxxxxx

Good luck for today Ledkr.
Hi and Happy NewYear to all

Hope everything goes smoothly ledkr good luck xxx and in am glad to hear you have such thoughtful friends close by, it is nice to know they're looking after you! X

ledkr - good luck today. xx

Happy new year lovely ladies!

Good luck ledkr & wishing you a speedy recovery xxx