October 2012... PELVIC FLOORS!

[Londonmrss]

Ready...
Steady...
And squeeze!

I wonder if we should try to contact a member of turnwest's family via facebook. I really don't like interfere with someone's personal business, but she sounds so alone and lost and I can't bear to let someone sink without at least trying to throw them a lifeboat. Does anyone have any thoughts?

I was thinking the same Londonmrs, I've been thinking about turnwest all day. I don't want to overstep the mark but I am so worried about her. I am very worried that she hasn't returned to post again.

I don't mind sending a message if others don't think that's too interfering? Turnwest are you out there?

Oh god. 9 pages already and I'm pretty sure I missed the last three on the last thread.

at everyone, hope you are all ok- back soon after a mega catch up!! x

Hi all, I've been thinking the same RE contacting someone in RL about Turnwest. I think she needs support, and she needs it now

I agree re turnwest

I agree - perhaps we could try pm first both here and via Facebook to her personally? But I also feel she need RL support sooner rather than later.

I know very little about turnwest. I don't think she posted much? I am always wary of interfering, but I really agree it seems impossible to let this lie without at least extending a hand... poor, poor girl sounds so lost.

Could you send her a message on facebook first, saying you are worried and are going to contact her family? So it's not like going behind her back? (Would you be able to do that? I don't really understand facebook well) Maybe she isn't checking here any more?

Yes squid that's a good idea. Have been re-reading her post and it sounds like she didn't plan to post further?

I'll send her a message now via MN private message and via Facebook.

Just catching up - is anyone fb friends with turnwest?

If you are still reading this I hope you're ok, would echo what others say, fb pictures are always edited highlights/best bits. We've all had our share of screamathons. You def sound like you may have PND, there is help out there, you are not alone or a terrible mother and your children need you. Please talk to us. Or call crysis. 08451 228669, they can put you in contact with someone near you who has been through the same xxx

turnwest just to add that I've been thinking of you all day. Really hope you're ok. How old is your older DC? Man it's tough with 2, tougher than I ever imagined. We're all here to hold your hand.

I think maybe a personal message via FB to turnwest might be a good idea? Not sure what I think about contacting her family.

Angelico to answer your earlier question, I have double layered blackout blinds in DS1's room! Never quite blocks out 100% though... OCD...

I agree re turnwest I'v been thinking about her all day and wondering what is happening. I wish I could help her. I think contacting her directly is the best thing - however, I think unless you are friends with someone on facebook your message goes into their 'others' folder, which not a lot of people seem to know about and therefore do not check. Maybe Kyyria could contact her as I assume she is still friends with her from when we started the page? Then the message would go into her normal message folder. Sorry Kyyria I know you're busy - please just say if you don't feel comfortable doing that.

squid I'm so, so sorry to hear about your family friend. I read that story earlier this week. Just so desperately sad.

DH just cut a chunk off DS's little finger while cutting his nails. He screamed and screamed in pain. There's quite a big bit missing from the top of his finger pad. I know it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things but I feel wretched and DH is beside himself, bless him. Do you think it will grow back?

turnwest mine looks like a future ASBO holder - he is often scratched and bloody from eczema.
What can I say, I enjoy none of this when I'm down or tired. It is often overwhelming. I have help, or else I would hate it all. I have a 2 1/2 yr old toddler.
I know you said you have some history with PND - how many children have you and have you any help in RL? I am in Ireland so probably not much help to you but we are from all over here ... Where are you?

Ok I have messaged turnwest via MN and FB.

This is what I said. I'm going to post it here too in case she is reading.

Just dropping you a line :) because we've all been thinking of you today after your post. We're worried about you!

It sounds like perhaps maybe you could be suffering from postnatal depression? I haven't had PND but I have suffered from depression and I know what it's like when you feel like you can't turn left or right and the only thing to do is escape. Like your life has no purpose and you don't deserve the things you have.

You're NOT a terrible person. You did the right thing by posting about your feelings on the thread, rather than keeping them to yourself. Your children love YOU and need YOU, their wonderful mummy.

When I was struggling with breastfeeding, DS would just scream and scream all the time. In fact he screamed a lot for the first couple of months. I started to think that it would be best if DH looked after him, then they would both be better off. When I started to think like that I talked to my husband and my mother-in-law who was staying with me, and to my friends. I also talked about it on the thread with the other ladies. It so helped to just know that somebody else knew what I was feeling.

Please talk to your family, and friends. Please go and see your GP, this week. Please call CrySis on 08451 228669, they can put you in touch with someone nearby who has gone through the same as you.

If you want to talk, there's always someone on the thread. Or you can Skype me anytime, my username is .

You're not alone. You're a good mum. You get up every day and you look after your children, you feed them, clothe them and give them a nice warm home.

Please reach out and get help. Please xxx

Well done zara, that's perfect. I really hope she is reading.

turnwest, it's really, really hard being a mummy & the hormonal changes & sleep deprivation can make u very unwell. i have certainly had times where i felt i couldn't cope and regretted having a baby. Your family love you. u will feel so much better if u can talk to someone in real life. really hope u r ok. thx zara

Thank you zara perfect message.

Turnwest I echo what the other ladies have said - please seek some help, this baby wrangling is the hardest thing I've ever done and I just have one to deal with, Facebook is definitely the edited highlights too. Hugs.

In total agreement with everyone here - turnwest big hug to you. When you hit the bottom things can only get better from now on just sometimes you need a little help from other people....please take Zara's advice...thinking of you x

Oh no was hoping turnwest would have returned :( Great message Zara and turnwest we've all been thinking about you today. Please don't feel alone. Every single one of us has struggled at times, especially with relentless crying. It is the pits.

Squid on baby front I honestly was tempted in Jan - I blame giant Irish family-in-law and their thousands of kids :o Then when the two weeks of sleepless hell struck we realised that the next bean might not be as (relatively) easy as DD and probably better to wait till she's weaned / gnashers etc have appeared and hopefully the worst is over! :) Am currently leaning towards April / May although will be more relaxed if I take a career break... Zara I have a total horror of Xmas babies but only because I have visions of going into labour in a snow drift or something!

Crazy they are never dark enough are they? I love the concept of the blackout blind but it's like the perfect mascara, it doesn't exist!

Smorgs poor DS and your poor DH. If it makes him feel any better we still haven't dared to cut DD's claws - I file them when they get lethal but the baby scissors are so thick she would need actual talons before they were any use

Night all and sleep tight x

Oh. I didn't read here for a bit. I am so sad and annoyed.

Turnwest I can only agree with everyone else. You are not not not a bad person and your babies are not better off without you. I hope you are still reading and know we support you. And yes, these are our edited lives.

I feel so flippant now with my whinges.

Zara thank you for contacting her on our behalf.

Man, shit. Don't know what else to say.

Xx

turnwest I can only echo what everyone else has said, FB makes me look like a Stepford wife with a perfect DD who is happy 24/7... reality is I don't take photos of DD when she's grumpy cos 1. i'm too busy desperately tring to shove a boob in her mouth calm her down, and 2. I don't want to remember those bits (although may be good contraception? ), my house is a permanent state of mess and I spend most days covered in spew. Please talk to someone (even if it's not us), I know how easy it is to hide these feelings from the people that love you because you are afraid of what they will think of you, but honestly it really is what you need to do.

Cherrycherry and congratulations! Can i ask a stupid question, but how did you know? Have often wondered this cos If it was me I would have just assumed my cycles (if I had a period back) were just as cocked up as ever!

livvy OMG I can't believe someone actually tried to snatch you! So glad you don't remember it but your poor mum! I have 2 paranoid delusions at the moment, that someone will come in the house and kill me and DH and poor DD would be alone and crying for days on end then die of starvation before someone realised! And the other is that there'll be a big earthquake and something will squash her in her cot, or me in bed and I won't be able to get to her! There have been a couple of trials here recently of people who have killed babies by kicking/shaking/hitting them and whenever I see it on the news it just makes me want to hug DD close and never let go!

I wonder if a lot of the clinics are staffed by volunteers rather than HVs october could definitely explain a lot of the shite advice people are getting!

One of the girls in my baby group has recently switched to FF because she was told her DS was hungry because her milk wasn't rich enough for him. Has anyone else heard anything like this? I always thought that was a load of crap, but this came from a HV (a real one not a volunteer)

Thanks for doing that Zara.
I want to do something to help, but I don't think that we should contact any friends or family on Facebook, as we have no idea who's sympathetic or trusted.

I really hope you're still reading Turn, and can tell your partner or someone how you're feeling. Things can get better, you just need to take that first step.

Livvy, I can't believe you were abducted! Your poor mum.
DH was away on business last night and I had visions of tripping over the gas heater hose on the way to the toilet in the middle of the night, getting injured and being unable to get up and take care of DS. Random.
Arrgh to wedding stresses. I wanted a tiny, simple wedding to avoid all that, but there were still plenty of issues.

Katla, the toe-sucking baby really made me chuckle. I wonder what odd/embarrassing quirks ours will have when they're a bit older?
DS is also fascinated by my tea mug, what's that all about?!

Glad you could talk to your DH Elpis, hope you got it all straightened out.

Well, we didn't have any more "rolls" until this morning when he kind of fell onto his back again. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and I still didn't catch it on video. He's great at "swimming" round in circles though and getting his gorgeous bum up in the air and pushing forward.

Went back to aqua aerobics for the first time since giving birth. So much easier than when I was 8 months pregnant, and great to get moving again. Still felt it in my muscles though

Well, baby smiley is less hot now but still super snotty and has been awake half (actually probably more) of the night. She is now howling and refusing to feed. I have 35 minutes before I have to go to work. This is horrible.