October 2012... PELVIC FLOORS!

[Londonmrss]

Ready...
Steady...
And squeeze!

Hi, can someone remove me from the Facebook group or tell me how to remove myself? I m so jealous of all your beautiful happy babies when mine just screams all day long, I wish I had anyone's baby apart from mine, I hate him. I m a terrible ,terrible person. I wanted another baby so much but I can't do it so I m working out a way to leave them, maybe I ll go abroad and work in a bar or something but I don't want my life anymore and my children will be far better off without me.

Anyway, good luck everyone, your babies are all absolutely beautiful, I m sorry I have nt posted more. Bye.

I worked out how to leave group.xxx

Turnwest are you okay? I haven't joined FB group but I remember your name from on MN. I'm sorry you're feeling so awful :( It might help you to read through this thread and the last few and you'll see there are lots of screamy babies. Venturing a guess but have you been diagnosed with PND? And if not could you go along to your GP? x

turnwest sorry don't know how to do facebooky things but wanted to post and say I'm worried about you. You sound really depressed and not very well right now. You are not a terrible person, you are struggling with something incredibly difficult - having children is far and away the hardest thing I've ever done - and not all babies are easy. Your children need you though, you are their mummy, no one else can do that so please don't leave them.
Does anyone in RL know how you're feeling? Please show someone this post, and I wonder if maybe you should be back to see your GP - from reading this I think it may well be depression making you feel like a terrible person because you aren't, you really aren't.
I think also we only post the good bits on Facebook often - I know I do!
Sending you lots of hugs and please take care,

Zara I reckon that fanjo tear is a free pass in a whole variety of arguments!

Smiley sorry you had such a shit night :( Really hope you get some joy at the GP today. Personally I would have no hesitation in breaking down and begging for what I wanted as they need to see the impact this is having on you and your family, not just your bean!

Smile4Me aaaarrgggggghhhh, I know the very machine you are referring to and only a nutter - or a man - would try to use it round a sleeping baby!!!

Squid that is such sad news :( Like others I find myself thinking about these things now. Having a child makes you more vulnerable than pretty much anything else :( Honestly don't know what you to say to someone other than that you're thinking of them.

Crazy do you have a blackout blind?

On jeans my utterly bizarre body will not fit in lots of new jeans even in a size up. However just found all my old 'thin' jeans (bagged up during pregnancy and house move, didn't fit in them pre-preg) and I fit into them fine. WTAF is going on with my body?! Am I supposed to live in the same few pairs of jeans for the rest of time?!

Anyway am going to attempt that 5-2 diet once bean is part weaned. People seem to be getting great results from it over on the diet threads but isn't recommended when EBF. I'd like to shift about a stone which will bring me into BMI 26 which I can live with. Also apparently once you've done a few fast days they actually start to become enjoyable - people find they get very alert and clear minded.

Parents are visiting today so going to go and wake the bean so I can buy some food! x

Turnwest please go see your GP. Just for a chat. Tell him or her how you're feeling. Please xxxx

Turnwest and please come talk to us. We're listening and want to help

turnwest please please talk to us if you feel able. This is anonymous and we don't judge. If you read back you'll know that we all struggle sometimes to varying degrees and it's definitely not plain sailing all the way. I can safely say you are not a terrible person, but you are obviously really struggling right now. I can't remember your personal situation- do you have a partner? Have you been able to talk to anyone about your feelings? Have you felt like this from the start?

turnwest well done for posting here how you feel - it isn't easy to do that, and you are not a terrible person. I had pnd with ds1 and I used to hate him too. I now know why - I wasn't well, and he screamed constantly. please tell someone in real life how you feel - you need support. please please don't go away, come back here and keep posting. I wish I'd had a group like this to talk to with ds1, I think it would've made a huge difference. big big hug for you - please please talk to someone xx

turnwest where do you live? can I come and help?

Zara has just reminded me on another thread that i forgot to add to my introduction the other day that im also carrying number 2! due october 2013

Must say it was weird going to the midwife this morning!

Hope everyone is well xx

Turnwest I agree with what everyone is saying - you are NOT a terrible person, but you don't sound well at all. If you speak to someone in real life (a friend, or a doctor) theywill say the same. Do you have friends or family around?
Crying babies are such hard work - there are many crying babies here - there are kind supportive un-judgmental people here - please speak to us.

oh gosh, just read down the thread.. turnwest please reply, let us know youre ok... we can help you xx

cherry wow!!!! congratulations!! how are you feeling?

cherry, I think you might be the bravest woman in the world... Congratulations!

turnwest hope you're still reading and will find the strength to keep talking.

Tired! but overall truely blessed and excited Im quite lucky to have no bad symptoms and a very well behaved DD, still in shock! x

turnwest it might be worth calling these people www.cry-sis.org.uk/ if you don't feel up to speaking to a friend/ partner or the doctor. Please remember Facebook is the edited highlights of our lives. Rarely do people post about the utterly frustrating, depressing or just plain dull times. I can guarantee you the vast majority of us have felt like giving up sometimes. You are not a terrible person, you are normal but just going through an abnormally stressful experience.

Turnwest, please keep posting on here and let us know you're ok. No one here will judge you, you're not a bad person, you're just going through a really tough time.
Facebook is definitely just the "good bits" there are many unseen, difficult bits in between, but everybody has a different baby, and there is absolutely nothing to say we wouldn't all feel exactly the same as you if we were in your particular situation.
I don't what I can say to really help, but I do know that your family will not be better off without you.

Squid, that's awful, I'm so sorry. I really can't imagine anything worse.

Wow congratulations Cherrycherry! (And welcome)

Thank yo everyone for the support with DF being a nobber. He has apologised and we are friends again. A walk in the sunshine with a friend at lunchtime has helped morale, through dd refused to sleep and thus has been screamy and miserable all afternoon. She is officially over tired.

On which note, turnwest, I moan about my dd screaming lots. She is far from perfect. But any pics on Facebook tnd to be when she's happy. If she's crying I'm generally trying to soothe her. So please be reassured that I'm not living in some Disney pampers tv ad of blissful baby love in. Babies are hard work, and some much harder than others. Huge hugs to you in thus difficult time and please please don't feel you have to be positive when posting here. You all have been so wonderfully supportive of me during some mighty tough times. I have frequently debated just walking out the door and not coming back. You're not alone and you're not a terrible mum. Hugs again.

Thanks to everyone for the support re limited diet and move to formula. The diet isn't too bad at home - I have found replacements like oat milk for cereal, and breads without forbidden ingredients, it's just eating out that is problematic. Still, I'm allowed steak and chips so it's not all bad news.

Squid. What awful news. I'm so sorry. As (I think) londonmrss said, the level of love we have for our beans means to think about their loss is so much worse. Awful. And zara, I'm incredibly paranoid about someone stealing dd as I was taken when I was two. (Short version is someone took me at a fair, the police Surrounded it and did lots of announcements etc and i was found hidden in a caravan. Only a couple of hours, I was too young to remember, just my mother's panic every time we went anywhere subsequently, gripping my hand tightly ).

Congrats cherrycherry ! :) We were thinking about trying again soon - almost went for it in January, then the dreaded sleep regression hit and was left thinking 'Am I fucking mental having another one of these?!' Probably won't wait too long though. Good luck with your pregnancy :)

Livvy that's mad about you being pinched - like something out of a film! Your poor mum must have been left - but glad there was such a swift response and a happy ending!

Parents up for first time in months and babysitting this evening. Unfortunately it's half term and we live in touristy area so everywhere is fecking swarming and we can't go anywhere nice Completely forgot it was HT with being off work! Anyway, trying new place just round the corner.

Damn it!! I had a bet (with ... er... myself) that Angelico was going to be the first one of us re-up-duffed! Just kidding - congrats cherrycherry, you must have enjoyed pregnancy more than most of us Do tell us about all the symptoms, it will probably be very effective contraception, haha.

I am definitely leaning towards having another kid when Jess is 3-4 years old. Ideally i won't get my periods back for years either wishful thinking

Those that have stopped bf, are your breasts back to normal? Do they go back to normal? I am not really considering giving up for ages, just curious... I had very nice DDs... I miss them. I am probably only one cup size up now in fairness (was more like an F a month or two ago)

On the jeans front, I got some from dorothy perkins that weren't mum-jeans but weren't trendy low-slung muffin-inducing either. Cheap too.

Had a day not doing very much - feel a bit flat - Jess whinged at me because it was very boring - has perked up since boyfriend has come home.
I guess this proves my theory about going out doing stuff every day being good for both of us...

Ah, I feel a bit teary and sad.

turnwest I really feel for you. Please try and speak to your doctor or health visitor. I was diagnosed with pnd in December and those first few weeks with DD were hell. Many times I wanted to leave, just jump in the car and drive away and she would be better off without me. I wished i could give her to someone else to raise and just go back to the way I was before I had her. I said terrible things to my DH i am ashamed to admit and he was so scared. I am on fluoxetine and feel like a different person now. Please ask for professional help. I am thinking of you.

Squid my tits since stopping bf are saggy and deflated. Am 38E, same size I was through most of pregnancy. Nips are getting smaller but they are still dark. They always feel soft and squooshy and never hard at different times of the month. They're not exciting tits, that's for sure...

Cherrycherry, Angelico... When I was bathing DS tonight I was thinking (b/c feeling morose after paying deposit for nursery today, and seeing 2 pregnant friends for lunch today)... "Maybe I should have another one soon... Oooh... A Christmas baby?!" Then was like "WHAT THE FUCK AM I THINKING". DS started screaming in my ear when he picked me up so that shook me to my senses too. In all seriousness, my job has 2 years to go from April (funding runs out after that) so in my head I would like to plan DC2 to coincide with that, ie April 2015....