October 2012... PELVIC FLOORS!

[Londonmrss]

Ready...
Steady...
And squeeze!

Poor you Smiley, you've been having such a hard time for ages now. It sounds so stressful and tiring, no idea how you're managing work as well. Definitely a good idea to go to the docs, and refuse to budge until they do something!

Sympathies to those with bottle refusers. I'm so eternally grateful we don't have this problem, as I'd have gone insane recently without a few hours to myself at the weekend. Really hope you all find a resolution soon.

Thanks for the new thread London! Speaking of pelvic floors, has anyone used one of those toners? Wondering whether its worth getting one when I'm back in the UK. Not having any problems really, just thought I might get ahead of the game for the next one.

DS had his 2nd round of jabs yesterday. He was a bit sleepy and clingy afterwards so we had a nice cuddly afternoon on the sofa.

Been meaning to say, we got a Jumperoo a couple of weeks ago and it's great for sleep! Took him a few days to figure out how to bounce, but since then he totally knackers himself out on it. Have to watch him though, I think sometimes he doesn't know how to stop and it gets a bit much. Hopefully this is the start of more activity leading to more sleep, makes far more sense than this overtired business.

AIBU to be seriously hacked off with my little person for not being able to wait JUST A NOBBING MINUTE for something? Seriously. She is on the ball enough to recognise that a room in someone else's house is not her bedroom, and to refuse to go to sleep in it even though she is sleepy and she is her own swaddle with her own blanket and lying on a t shirt that smells of me, ...and yet when she wakes in the night and we go through exactly the same routine we go through every single effing time, she cannot recognise that this means milk is imminent and therefore she could actually stop shrieking.

Also, her latch is now totally shit and she just pretty much sucks my nipple. Except for when she uses her gums. I can't do anything about it because every time I relatch her she pulls her head back again until she is perched on the nipple. So I have to put up with it. But it is uncomfortable . It is also highly ironic that I waited so long to try a bottle because I didn't want to make her latch worse than it was, and she has made it worse herself and won't even take a bottle. And I am wondering how we are ever going web her when the time comes if she can't cold with anything in her mouth that's not a boob and will barely swallow bm from a dropper and slid out evening else? How will she cope with food?

This is a bit ranty because I'm cross with her (and fed up with night wakenings now, the novelty has well and truly worn off after 16 weeks, and I KNOW she is capable of going 5, 6 or 7 hours without milk over night as she has done it a few times before so why does it not happen more frequently?) but in all seriousness, what do we do if feeding becomes too painful for me but she still won't take a bottle? And what happens to my nipples when a tooth comes through which, judging by her teething related screams, may well be imminent? They say babies don't use their teeth when bf but what about babies with a rubbish latch like my one?

Gah. The shit stuff is outweighing the good stuff at the moment. And DH is ill and being completely pathetic and I have no energy left to be sympathetic or nice, I just want to tell him to stop being so wet!

Why can't things just go right? My baby could latch well and sleep better and scream less when given medicine and not mind a bottle sometimes, DH could man up about being ill, I could be a millionaire model with Johnny Depp and Eddie Izzard on speed dial... it's not to much to ask...

Hope everyone else is having a better night. Much love to the October 2012 Massive and hope you get in OK at the docs, smiley. We are on Omeprazole, it is a bugger to administer if you are ebf (yet another thing she spits out, mostly) so I haven't seen much effect yet but if silent reflux is causing our problems, they are not anywhere near as bad as yours and you probably have a less ridiculous baby so you'll hopefully see results.

*wean, not web,
cope, not cold
spits, not slid.

Also (yes, I have still more moaning to do!) she flails her arms around and hits me in the face when feeding, which is nice. Why am I doing this, again?

Hi yomping no you aren't being unreasonable, middle of the night screaming when they are getting what they want anyway is very frustrating!
Latch sounds painful, can you see bf counsellor at all, any cafes / drop ins where you are? Much sympathy....

Yay for the PELVIC FLOOR reminder I definitely reckon it's helping, although i might still pee when I cough

Another total bottle refuser here... Have been getting DH to try but she just gives him the WTF is that look and won't suck. I have a number 2 teat but was thinking about making the hole bigger as she's really impatient and my let down is like a hose! Have been thinking i'd just give up and wait till she can use a cup (luckily I don't have to go back to work for a while yet unlike some of you poor ladies!) And yomping yup we also have feed for a few sucks, look up and smile and poke tongue out... repeat! Takes forever!

squid I am also reading the politics of breastfeeding (and have just ordered pharma from the library!) and read milk, money and madness (along the same lines)... It makes me a bit mad I read these things why? but it did talk about some legendary wet nurses who were still breastfeeding at 85! Nipples of rubber I reckon

smiley How did you get on with appt for reflux? I'm thinking the same thing with DD, total meltdowns increasing in frequency to daily and back arching when feeding, I can cope with the constant spew (even if it does smell vile) but she seems so miserable! I don't really get how it can suddenly be painful after 4 months of being OK though

Hi smile going to phone them today so will let you know!

Good luck at the drs smiley, a mum at the children's centre was saying her daughter was waking hourly but since started ranitidine she's a whole new baby. Heartburn in pregnancy was bad enough, would not want to inflict on a tiny baby!

yomping rant away if it helps - does sound like you could use some rl bf help thou? Is there a peer supporter group near you?

About cups - the main problem with the valved type as with bottles is that babies will suck rather than sip. This means the liquid is in contact with the teeth a lot longer so if it's juice in there it'll more likely cause decay. That's why the advice is to encourage drinking from free flow as early as possible. It's messier but so is weaning generally! Also just have milk or water as a drink as long as possible, especially between meals. So short term use of the valved cups if they just have milk in to ease the transition shouldn't cause too much bother (especially if no teeth yet )

Oh smiley that is so so tough. I feel for you so much. You must be at the end of your tether after all of that. I really hope the go is helpful.

so sorry to hear you are having such a hard timeswitching to bottles huffle and yomping. So glad you started this early huffle, so hopefully you will have it cracked before you go back to work. How are you feeling about that btw?

I have to go to my little boy's playgroup today for a stay and play session which will be interesting, but after that I am getting my hair cut for the first time in a donkeys yonk.i am so excited! We have an m&s valentines meal deal for tonight so going to have a date night at home with our little gooseberry baby no doubt bless him. Anyone braving an actual out of the house date?

smiley god you poor thing. don't know how you're still upright, let alone working. you're a true trooper. does your older dd get woken in the night? hope the doctor is sympathetic and helpful. ranitidine smells like nail varnish remover

angelico those tommee tippee cups are perfect first cups. when babies start weaning you just have to accept that mess is going to happen! it's all part of their learning. enjoy

orange at 19wks today I think we maybe possibly perhaps might be coming out the other side of the 4 month bastard sleep nonsense . we've had 3 nights of waking 2 times to feed and going back down after, not always immediately to sleep but eventually. last night he woke 3 times but didn't get up for the day til 7am I had insomnia to make up for it that should appease the sleep gods, right

we've been long-term-lent another tripp trapp for ds2! I'm so happy cos I think they're ace but we were going to struggle to scrape the money together even for an eBay one. now ds1 and ds2 have his n his matching highchairs!!! still 2m to go thank god but sat him in it yesterday and he thought it was amazing. looked hilarious, ds1 was roaring with laughter and exclaiming 'really sited!!' (excited)

plumbers coming today to finally sort our leak out hopefully by digging my house up. sob. pls keep your fingers crossed that it's straightforward and the insurance company pay up...

on the plus side I've lost about half a stone in 2wks with weight watchers! so chuffed!

Bella, sounds like a nice evening. I love the idea of a gooseberry baby!
We were going to have a date this weekend, quite a big deal as it would be the first time we left DS with anyone else, but now MIL can't babysit so it's postponed til next weekend. All 3 of us will go out on Saturday instead...romantic.

First, hope it all goes well at the hosp today. Sounds, umm, unpleasant.
We love the Jumperoo too!

So after dodging naps all day, DS has just fallen asleep on me. It's 6:45, way too close to bed time. What do I dooooo??

GP appt booked for Monday afternoon. Fingers crossed.

smiley hope u get some helpful advice (and medicine!) from the GP to aid with the reflux. Someone in our nct group had similar issues and had to really fight with GP but baby has transformed on ranitidine. So hard that often we have to jump up and down with health professionals when we should actually be getting support from them.

Does anyone else sometimes find all the mum and baby / toddler groups a bit exhausting making small talk with other mums? or am I just being an unsociable cow? I think it is partly worse due to most of the ones I go to being toddler groups and a lot of the mums already know each other as sahm rather than on mat leave, and also I'm always trying to keep an eye on both ds's so find new conversations a bit tricky.

Got mum and baby yoga this morning, the only thing I do exclusively with ds2 so should try to make an effort. And also get out of pajamas.

October I find it so hard, keeping an eye on both boys whilst trying to think of interesting things to say. or just not sound like a complete idiot. but have never been in my element in social situations like that. it sucks

Smiley glad you've got doc appt.

October yes I find it exhausting. There's a mum and baby group I should be going to shortly but was debating whether I should stay in PJs and assemble Ikea furniture for nursery :S but the group is literally 20m from my front door so I should go. I am determined to get out the house just once a day even. My seriously fucked up mother never used to leave the house during the daytime (ever) and I'm sure it helped speed up the process of making her angrier and more bitter than she already was My number 1 goal is to NOT be like my toxic abusive mother, so out of the house I must go! When in need if small talk I ask other mums how their babies are sleeping, how they started them on solids, what they do for a job, what nurseries are they looking at etc.

Y y to those with bottle struggles to make it clear that mama is not around. By way of comparison with a fully FF baby, DS will often play silly buggers if someone else is feeding him while I'm at home. Often then I have to take over to get him to settle and finish his bottle. But if I've gone out and DH or someone else is looking after him, I guarantee he always drains his bottles with no problem. Sometimes if the feed is soon after I've left he dicks around, but if it's an hour or later after I've gone, he behaves himself!

Happy Valentines' Day, Nobbers! DS gave me 2 poo-filled nappies before 9am as a present. But I got a shag last night from DH

Yomping please try give yourself a little treat today, you deserve it!

I find the groups a bit exhausting too. My yoga one (which is today) is a bit better because I went to the pregnancy yoga class so I know some of the girls (though funnily enough I always felt too shattered/braindead to make proper conversation when pregnant... but we talk now)
I go to Baby Sensory as well which is a GREAT class for the babies but I find the mums tiring. Or I feel stupid/frumpy/incompetent/etc because they seem rather polished and opinionated.
Some days are better than others.
If a class is a bit crap and I'm feeling stupid I just leave promptly at the end and enjoy the walk home, etc.
Now Jess is older she is getting a lot out of them so that's a good motivation. I view it like this

1. it's good to get out the house
2. it's good stimulation for jess
3. I might accidentally make a friend
4. It's exercise (both my classes are over an hour's walk away)

Zara I think you are completely right about getting out the house to stop yourself becoming toxic... my boyfriend's mum is like this and she is exhausting and miserable.

Hope everyone has a nice day! We dont' really celebrate valentines day but we had some lovely naked family snuggles all together this morning, lovely.

I didn't go to baby massage this morning. It's the last one, it's pissing with rain, DD had her injections yesterday so she's got sore legs and I just couldn't be bothered. oops. Plus the teacher said something last week that really annoyed me. She was talking about baby development and how they don't realise they're a separate entity until they're about a year old. They think they're part of you. How interesting I thought. Then she said "that's why they scream when you put them down, it feels like you've ripped their arm off". Well my face must have dropped because she then said "you can put them down obviously, that's just what it's like for your baby emotionally". Well that's just awesome! How to make a mum feel even more guilty. If she'd said that a couple of months ago when I was really suffering from PND I'd have been devastated. So this week I just thought fuck it I'm not going back! Roll on spring so I can take DD out for nice long walks in the park.

So glad I went to baby group this morning. Was awkward at the start and i contemplated leaving but then I met fellow lawyer and a marketing exec and we talked about traditional concepts of feminism, work and motherhood. And shared battle tales of our shitty bf experiences (at the same hospital). It was brilliant. I'm such a nerd, I know, but I loved it!

zara that sounds like much more interesting conversation than the usual stuff at baby groups! I went to yoga but didn't talk to anyone, it was pretty quiet but that suited my mood fine.

I am sitting in Starbucks having had lunch and on iPad with SLEEPING baby!!
Couldn't find my phone before leaving, hope it is not in load of washing I put on before leaving house...

Cherry thanks for tip re skin cream - I eventually gave in and started on the steroid cream (1% hydra-cortisone). I literally had his hands gloved for all but a few mins per day, with socks and I was afraid I would impede his development. He is now on day 6, being applied twice a day - think I can only use for 7 consecutive days Can any of the doctors on here tell me if there is any long term ill effects to this?

In terms of bad moods - I blame lack of sleep. Everything annoys me.
Rant alert!
Last Saturday DH was home so after DS had had his porridge we were organised enough to get out for breakfast. I order the full fry as DS will eat sausages etc off my plate. We are all happily eating away when nobber waitress says, 'we have lollipops for all children who eat all their food'. Cue 2yr old calling 'lol-pop' for next 5 mins and no more breakfast! 2yr olds don't do delayed gratification . I got over it as DS had eaten porridge at that point as well as some sausage.
In the evening we went out again for our tea/dinner. The baby meal consisted of a main course (pasta bolognaise), a drink (water) and dessert - they ask you to order it at the start and I ordered a smoothie. They serve the Innocent cartons. DS did not look at his dinner but was happily eating steak and chips off of DH's plate when waitress drops the smoothie in the middle of the table. End of dinner. Me End of tip too!!

am I the only one who still hasn't been to any mum and baby groups?

Shit, shit, shit. Merrily gave DS bottle whilst enjoying lunch out today and got home to discover another bottle in the bag. One of them had been there for at least a day, no idea which one I fed DS

Poor thing, he is going to be so ill if it was the old one. Stupid stupid me.

If you gave him the old one he might have refused to take it cos it would've tasted off? If he's not sick by now you could be in the clear! No guarantee he would definitely get sick from it anyway, it's like if you ate a yogurt that had been in your bag a day or two IYSWIM?

Remember to make sure all bottles are accounted for at the end of the day when you're making more!! So easy to get muddled up xxx

Am sure DS will be fine

Sorry..... Beyond catch up, too many. Smiley I hope hope hope you can get treatment and or referral. This is just going on so long. Poor you and poor baby. And anyone else still with reflux. It is hideous for you.

Zara and October. Do you make some bottles in advance then?? The whole getting temp right and making each one as you need it seems hard work. Hate the term 'didn't do mine any harm' but really, can you not bend the make it fresh rule sometimes??

Not that I'm there yet..........!

Hiding in car again. Can't be arsed driving away. Had planned DH to put DS to sleep (never done yet) and me to be gone before he woke. Didn't happen. So I've left just before feed commenced. Don't think will work.

Off to open and check post! Bet neighbours think we've fallen out.......!

London I've been to massage and yoga but no mums and toddlers ones. I am irrationally nervous and afraid of them incase they all see how shit I am at this!