October 2012 babies - we meet them at last!

[YompingJo]

Getting thread in place in readiness!

Worst. Night. Ever. So the problem with breastfeeding is it took her an hour to have her full feed at 2.30am. Then it took half an hour to settle her. Then 45 mins later she awoke and cried. Offered her dummy, gave her cuddles, tried everything. Couldn't face another hour long feed, so hubby gave her expressed in bottle. She gulped it down and cried for more. She looked happy for 5 mins then puked the whole lot up again. She didn't fall asleep again til 8am.
Then I cried.
This will get better, right? She will gradually learn what night is and sleep for maybe 4 or 5 hours at a time? I can't cope with this.

Oh, another thing. She can lift her head and hold it up- properly. At 2 weeks old. Thought this wasn't supposed to happen for a while and frankly it's stressing me out because now when she cries. she holds her head up from my chest for ages, then drops it on her face. I'm scared she'll break her nose.

DF left for work at 730 and won't get home til 1030pm ( he has uni tonight). This feels like a mighty long day stretching ahead of me. Mat nurse is coming round shortly fr a few hours so hopefully that'll be great. I feel like crying but feel like if I do I won't be able to stop. Deep breath.

Londonmrss I feel your pain re the hour feed nd then 30 mins to settle. She's so much more windy than she used to be. That sounds like a hideous night.

Interesting re gaviscon huffle

beeble good to hear from you. Chin up.

Right. Must go and hang washing out.

londonmrs really felt for you when I read your post, it WILL get better, not all days / nights will be like this. You and DC will get longer stretches of sleep and get into more of a rhythm.

It all seems do much worse and unmanageable when you've had no sleep, I know, I've been there. Can say that I'm feeling much stronger after having DP there this weekend to share the strain and also get a bit more sleep!

On phone, will catch up later x

Hey Livvy. Thinking of you today. You can do it!! I am one week in to being home alone and good days combine with bad. My best advice is when you DO get a chance and LO is on mat or chair or asleep, get organised. Make your lunch in advance, fill kettle, pile up anything you might need on sofa- remote, phone, snacks, nipple cream bottle of gin and do not try to force any sort of routine as both of you on your own will find a pattern soon enough. I started to see a routine emerge after a few days. Sleep wise, that is. Feeding pattern is anyone's guess.

This is me sounding sane while DS is asleep approx 1.5 hrs after he had morning feed (does seem to do this daily) and my poor nips hav had over an hour off!

And we are off out after next feed cos trip in car and walk in pram are foolproof ways to make him sleep again!!

Good luck pet, you can do it!! xx

Londonmrsss you poor thing. Things can only improve, hang in there.

Flip me, we thought pregnancy was hard, then birth was a shock and fecking hideous, and now we coping with all this. I hope I remember how difficult it all has been should I be mad enough to consider it all again (with an advised elective section next time!)

Beeble nice to hear from you. X

His nibs is stirring, have a good day all. X

argh I hate Mondays. Both children in appalling moods, weather grim, I'm struggling to cope and at the end of my tether. I just want to ditch DS2 for the day and spend some quality time with DS1 like we used to DS2 suddenly refusing to feed from right boob, wtf?? I can't manage 2, what was I thinking??

Sorry to rant. Just.....bad day. Fast forward pls.

crazy I hear you! Sometimes I watch the two DC's full of love and wonder and sometimes I think I must be certifiable to have even thought I could cope with 2.....

Have been thinking of those having first day without partners... hope you are all ok.

Today me and baby squid went out in the rain to wander up to baby massage and then to market where lots of people oohed and ahhed over her, all cute and alert now. Do they do this more with babies in slings than in pushchairs, is it something about being at eye level? Or am i just noticing more because it's my baby?

She is fast asleep on me and i'm reading now, we are snuggled into blankets on the sofa. I'm too warm and tired and cozy to want to try putting her down. Grey old day, isn't it....

Oh yes i remember now what else i was going to say...

Baths-also only managing about one a week here. May be more often now that his man part has healed.

And activities for little one:
Sight - mimicking mouth movements. Stock your tongue out and see if they will copy. Or if they are looking at you move from side to side see if they track you.

Sound: shake a rattle. Move it from one side of their head to the other.

Smells: introduce them to some mild smells vanilla, orange,

Touch: get various types of fabric and rub against their cheek.
Palmer reflex- place different objects in their fist. See what will hold onto. If you put the same object back multiple times you may find that they drop it sooner. Replace with a new object and they may hold it for longer again.

Hi ladies, just a quick post before the next feed/nightly screamathon.

I learnt some new things today: too much orange/citrus juice, dairy produce, parsley (?!) and cabbage/broccoli-type veg can cause a windy baby and lead to the nightly screamathon.

To relieve said wind, lie baby on back and gently move their legs up and down towards their tummy and then circle them clockwise and they should pass the wind.

I haven't tried any of this yet, so no idea if it works but thought it worth passing on.

Fingers crossed for a peaceful night (haha)

Thought it was time to post my birth story. I was unable to for so long as I was so shIckes and traumatised. Time has shown me however that lots of you had a much worse time and this past week with the boobs from hell due to feckin thrush has made me reevaluate the birth somewhat, at least it was over, these feckin sore boobs just keep going!!

I had sweep on the Monday morning and was 3cm. This seemed fab but think it lured me in to false sense of confidence now. Thought I was a wonder birther, dilating without knowing!!

Mucus plug came out at 7pm (gross....) and at 11 contractions started. Got Tens going but was afraid to use the boost (!!!!) in case it hurt. Oh the naïveté ........ By 4am contractions were every 4 mins and v strong and struggling to get comfy. Phoned hospital and went in. En route fear hit and contractions stopped. MW examined me, 4cm and mostly effaced. Sent me home and expected me back within 6 hrs. Soon as home, same speed and intensity. Felt so helpless and wanted to birth at home!! 1pm Tuesday went back again and LO and behold, contractions stopped again!! Stress really started. Dilated 6cm but very few contractions for MWs who would not admit me until regular, despite dilation. Refused to go home again. Next several hrs rotten, series of waiting rooms and walks around hospital sideways up and down stairs. Felt like everyone was looking at me, just wanted a calm dark room where I knew I'd start properly.

Eventually at 7cm I went to delivery suite and bath was filled. MW had never done water before and bath cold..,...

I'm blathering

Long story short, contractions never regular and everyone foxed as kept dilating anyhow.

My concept of time from then on is off, once in bath without Tens, pain changed but water was fantastic. I would advise anyone to try it. After hour or so tho needed help do started gas and air. God I hate that stuff........ Horrible horrible taste and feeling but it worked!!!

Think I started to push about 10pm But waters refused to break so they got me out and ruptured for me. Sweet baby J I am so glad that did not happen in Ikea!!!! So much!! Back on pool for while and by 11.30 felt sure that was it. Major major pushing but nothing happening. I was exhausted by now but felt convinced would just happen like I dreamed it!!

Just after midnight sister in charge said enough was enough and had to come out. Contractions pretty reg by now but still not close enough to push him out. I remembered squid at this stage talking about delirium......! I really felt like I wasn't there and I was do upset that things were not working. I was truly convinced I could not do it and each push felt like surely that was it. Oh we had a new MW st 9pm. An active birt expert and all
My life I will adore this wonderful peaceful calm woman. She was my salvation.

Am sure u all bored thus far and I need to go as his nibs awake! I will complete later...... Thus far I'm wondering what all my fuss was about!

False alarm.

And I am going on a bit......
Started to push harder. So so aware I was poohing...... So so aware I was screaming and grunting and horrified by this...,,...! DH was so encouraging and emotional but with 2 MW now on the case I knew there was a problem. I had been up since Monday 7am and had no energy left. Eventually head started to come out but there was a hand beside it and suddenly all went scary. Pushed me on to side, legs on weird sideward stirrups and and loud voices really telling me to push. I could feel 2 sets of hands inside me and told me needed episiotomy. No prob, just get it out! Next thing an alarm goes, flipped me on back again and I hear all these people running in. DH crying, I barely conscious but realising something v wrong. Something primal came over me and the pushing changed dramatically. DH says I was like a woman possessed!! I did indeed suddenly push him out and LO and behold gave myself a massive vaginal tear and 3rd degree perineal one rupturing anal sphincter...... Nice. He had been stuck due to something called shoulder dystocia . Shoulder trapped under pubic bone.

I will never forget that moment he was put on tummy and I thought how massive he was!!!!! DH crying like I knew he would!!

Must go again.....

livvy how was your day? Have been thinking of you. Hope the maternity nurse was a success I think you're doing the right thing. Two of my friends who are devoted and excellent mothers had maternity nurses as they had very little family help available to them and they found it a real help.

In summary, maternity nurses ROCK and everyone should have one. I spent 2.5 hours asking questions, crying, writing advice down, generally boosting my confidence and morale. So many tips I can't possibly write them all one fingered whilst feeding but

• lying on side to sleep is fine. Use towels to prop them in position. Right hand side is best if squirmy digestion but if you always put them on the side, be sure to alternate.

• raising the head of Moses basket can help with wind. Put a folded towel under the mattress at head end.

• if winding, put baby's arms over your shoulder to help stretch them out. If baby's hands are scrunched up, it's prob wind.

She unfortunately is booked at nights at the mo but is around for advice in the day. Hoping this will be enough. It's also easier for me to sleep at lunchtime if DF is not around as I'm otherwise tempted to hang out with him. I shall also be going to sleep at about 8pm on the nights DF is at uni. I may as well.

I think she's taken some of the fear and loathing out of the experience for me which is great. I had been feeling v resentful and like my life was doomed to everlasting misery.

I will try some of her settling techniques later and let you know if they work!

huffle I have a large bag which I carry about the house which has water bottle, book, phone, muslin, infacol, nippe cream etc. means I have everything with me when I feed.

crazy I hope the day got better.

beeble thanks fr activity ideas. Will try tomorrow

huffle. You went through a lot. It must have been frightening at the end. Impressed at your primal pushing - I never managed that and had to have help from forceps . You did amazingly!

smorgsthanks for thinking of me. X posted whilst I did v slow one finger typing... I am hoping some daytime help will suffice. Lets see.

Oh and it turns out I've been using my gro swaddle the wrong way up for wo weeks. Doh

Livvy amusing thought of babby swaddled upside down with feet sticking out top........ Lol!!!!! I know that's not what u meant.......! X

Livvy, I have a mental image of your confused baby with a swaddle shell on her head...
My baby got really confused today when she was thrashing around at the breast. She yanked the nipple shield off and then just kept it in her mouth and continued suckling looking really baffled.
Did my first public feeding and my first trip on the tube today. Knackered now. Should have had a nap. Once hubby goes back to work on Wed, I'm going to resign myself to sleeping whenever baby sleeps.
Huffle, you're amazing. That shoulder thing can often lead to crash c-sec or them having to break baby's shoulder to pull it out. You did amazingly well.

huffle you are an absolute hero. And there is no effing way you should countenance anything other than an elective csection next time! Well done you xxx

livvy so happy to hear you a bit brighter. Much love xx

midget and crazy so glad I am not alone. Having two of them is so fucking hard. And you never get to fully enjoy one without feeling like you are neglecting the other. I know in the long run it will be great for each of them to have each other but right now it just feels so hard and so relentless. The days and nights are just one continuous awake time, constantly juggling them both and feeling like i am doing a shit job.

On a happier note Will has gone from 8lb 4 to 9lb 2 in the two weeks of his life so my cack handed breastfeeding has at least been effective!
.
Love to you all. The long night beckons-good luck all! Xx

Still haven't slept even though went to bed at 8pm. Having a low moment and have just had to put my beautiful baby in another room and close the door. She's just so awake and nothing I do will settle her. She's not grumpy or upset, just awake and alert. When I put her down she grizzles. I want to enjoy her when she's alert like this, but I haven't had more than 2 hours sleep for the past couple of nights and I'm broken.

New thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1610966-October-2012-babies-part-2-winding-yawning-and-grizzling-and-first-smiles

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