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October 2012 babies - we meet them at last!

999 replies

YompingJo · 12/09/2012 18:48

Getting thread in place in readiness!

OP posts:
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squidkid · 11/11/2012 06:48

The baby massage sounds lovely bella!! I went to one session but I haven't really got the hang of it yet. Keep meaning to get more into it, especailly in her evening gripey times, the skin to skin would probably ehlp.

Sorry you had such a rough night. The feeding thing can be endless... I never know when she is even finished... eventually I just stop!

I like the sept/october thing too. We didn't ahve to give birth in the summer and the last month of pregnancy was not too hot and sweaty. We get to drink at BOTH christmases Grin When we are feeling jellybellied and tired we can cuddle up in jumpers and not expose ourselves. Our kids will be beginning to crawl and walk come the summer :)

Is everyone else bathing baby every day? I do it about once a week!

squidkid · 11/11/2012 06:49

crossposting galore! Sorry!

YompingJo · 11/11/2012 08:05

Loopy and Cherry, it sounds like your babas are trying to increase your milk supply as they are growing. Alice has done this every 5-7 days so far - feeds far more frequently (and often for shorter periods) for about 24-36 hours, to increase my supply, then just when I think my boobs (and my sanity) can't take it anymore she settles down again for a more "normal" few days. I'm no expert but it does sound like that is what is going on for you as well. The subsequent engorgement always catches me out - woke up with bra soaked yet again last night and had to express before she could actually manage to feed from basketball-type boob Blush.

Squid, we are averaging a bath about once a week too. Feel very ashamed about this, it's the one area we've not got our heads around at all. To be fair, she is not a messy baby - rarely brings milk up, nappies don't generally leak - but I still feel like I ought to keep her quite a lot cleaner!

OP posts:
Zara1984 · 11/11/2012 08:16

bella I love the firework story!!! I'm trying not to wish away these fucking hard challenging first few weeks but I can't wait till baby is bigger and more interactive!!

On the bath front, maybe I'm doing it wrong but tipping and tailing him takes just as long and causes way more mess than bathing him!! Then again nobody ever showed me how to top and tail him. So we bath Tommy every 2 days. He likes the bath though, and floats serenely in the water Grin it's very cute and makes up for him howling blue murder 2 seconds before.... Also he sleeps for 4 hours after a bath!

kyyria thank you so much for your post. Thank you to everyone who's posted to me and others with bfing difficulties. I wish I could come and give each one of you a very big hug in RL.

Ok so one of the pumps on my Medela Symphony is broken! Aaaargh! So my annoying pumping schedule takes even longer!!!!

DBIL and his partner are visiting us next weekend, I hope my pumping schedule is substantially shorter by then...

bella2012 · 11/11/2012 08:26

i thought once or twice a week was all you were meant to do bath-wise? My ds1 got awful exzema and cradle cap so I am really keen not to deprive will of his skin oils or use any products.

squid I love your list of rrasons to be glad of an autumn baby- so true!

Well, this has been the hardest night so far. Sleeps of 45 minutes to an hour all night and ages spent feeding. Feel a bit delirious. My Mum, who is a massive support to me, is really a bit gina ford minded, in that she seems really against demand feeding. She keeps telling me that if I made him wait a bit before feeds then he would be properly hungry and feed better. I can see her logic, but it goes against everything we are taught or have read. I just don't know how to get him to feed for longer than 10 minutes without falling asleep. And the mw and some books say he needs to feed on one side for 30 mins in order to get the fore and hind milk but some books say that these types of milk are a myth. So I don't know what to do. Will he just grow out of this and gradually get better at feeding for longer? Or is there something I can do to help him fill up in one go (and then hopefully sleep for longer) he also periodically bites me, he sort of clamps down hard on my nip and it really kills. We can have a good latch until right before he does it. Any ideas on how to stop him doing that? Any help gratefully recieved!

Londonmrss · 11/11/2012 08:30

My baby suddenly needs to eat every two hours. Do they suddenly have a growth spurt at 2 weeks?
Our night time schedule already takes an hour and a half because I have to express as well as feed and it takes her so long to go to sleep (she doesn't cry unless she's put down, she's lovely and quiet, but still won't sleep for ages. So that means half an hour after she goes down, she wakes up again.
But during the day, she falls asleep immediately after feeding and will sleep for a couple of hours. Can I flip her schedule? It's driving me mad.

Midgetm · 11/11/2012 08:40

bella I think Gina ford is a witch but I do also find life is a lot easier if I spread feeds out. If he really wants more I give it but I try and keep him awake and ideally at least 2 hours apart. Ideal for me is 2-4 hours apart and life is a breeze. This of course doesn't always work....

Zara1984 · 11/11/2012 08:47

londonmrs yep my baby is doing the same! He eats like a pig and am sure he's more expressed milk/formula than baby right now. Also means we're powering through the nappies! Can u have the pump right next to you ready to go the second you've finished feeding/topping her up? DH has been trying to do that and it is helpful.

But as for getting her to sleep more at night, no idea!! Angelico posted up thread a bit about keeping room dark/quiet etc? We can't get baby to settle unless we warm his bed and blankets up first with a hot water bottle.

Thank you also angelico for those kellymom links on weaning, very very useful! I like the suggestion of a weaning ceremony, I might burn this fecking pump Grin

For those moving to bottle feeding I have decided a dummy is my friend! An avent one came with the bottles and I had sterilised it. Stuck it in his mouth in desperation while he was howling while bottle warming up - success!!!! And it helps him get off to sleep too. We are using it as a feed-pacing aid too because baby will eat as much milk as you give him but will impressively projectile vomit if you go past 130 ml for obvious capacity reasons! Dummy is being used to pace him for 15-30 mins after a big feed. Seems to be working. If he's really hungry he won't suck on it.

Cherrychopsticks · 11/11/2012 08:58

That makes sense Yomping, thanks. Hopefully it means tonight/tomorrow will be better for us.

I bath him every day, it's a bit of a faff, but he loves it and I'm getting the hang of it now. (It was the one thing I was really dreading before giving birth)
I think I mostly just need the routine really, what with not working and being home alone most of the time. I've always been like that though, even when I was off sick I had to have a shower and get dressed. Today I have done nothing but lounge on the sofa feeding baby and watching TV, but I got washed and dressed in dirty jogging bums and ratty old hoody

Have had a bit of success getting DS to settle even with belly ache today, by putting him on his side. Not ideal but he seems much more comfortable and I'm keeping a close eye.
He also likes it when I do squats with him, so maybe I am unintentionally working on getting back to pre-preg shape? Grin It'd be lovely if I came out the other side of all this with a nice toned bum...

bella2012 · 11/11/2012 09:04

Finally got will to sleep to fnd ds1 had been sick all over his bed. Really close to crying now.

Zara1984 · 11/11/2012 10:09

bella go and have a cry. A big one!!! Then if you don't have a baby mattress protector get one of these in the size you need, they are the business! DS dribbles or throws up on his bed every day, they can be hot washed & tumble dried Smile

www.thelittlegreensheep.co.uk/Bedding/Mattress-Protectors/

Grin cherry at your squats. All my muscles are shot from pregnancy and childbirth!!!

Zara1984 · 11/11/2012 10:14

Sorry I just realised you meant your older boy had been sick!!! Oh no! Still go have a big cry I reckon. And some hot sweet tea? Smile that has been my elixir of comfort the past 2 weeks.

YompingJo · 11/11/2012 10:23

Urg. Crappy day yesterday, crappy night, gearing up to be crappy day today as well. I feel like such a mean mum, basically she wakes after somewhere around 30 mins to an hour, I feed her, change her, fight her flailing fists to get more milk in her, then swaddle, shhh and swing her until she surrenders and sleeps. She cries a lot during these things. I feel luke I am forcung milk down her then forcing her to sleep. Am I doing aomething wrong? She is so tired but won't settle without the swaddling etc. Feel like I am forcing her to sleep when she doesn't want to. Sad

Also, when she is awake von a less demanding day) she is still either asking food, feeding, or screaming because of (I assume) some uncomfortable digestive. process. When on earth am I supposed to be bathing her or massaging her? Seems a bit nobbing mental foolhardy to me to wake her up to do either of these when she has finally settled?

Thirdly, bought dummies. Stuck one in her mouth. Hated the way it looked. reminded me of Darth Vader. I cried a lot. Took dummy out of her mouth and haven't tried it again. Am I a bit unhinged? Confused

OP posts:
LoopyLa · 11/11/2012 11:07

Yomping big hugs & Thanks

Did Baby Yomping take to the dummy? We bought a load hoping it would help settle Baby Loopy but he absolutely hates them!! love wasting my money on useless baby crap

YompingJo · 11/11/2012 12:00

Loopy, thanks for the Thanks, have put them in water (now baby yomping is finally asleep).

Tried dummy twice in a half hour period. She took it the first time for a bit but wasn't having any of it the second time. Bought Avent ones and Tommee Tippee ones (was advised to try out several). Used the Avent ones because they have a cap you can put on them when not in use to stop them picking up fluff etc and needing constant sterilising.

I have a funny "helpful" MIL story... put a post of FB yesterday to say it had just taken me 4 and a half hours to settle her (no word of a lie, was fecking exhausted!). Here are 3 ways in which MIL decided to be helpful, having read my post:

  1. phoned on the landline, then wondered why I was whispering down the phone

  2. told me that mini yomping was probably unsettled because not getting enough milk, so maybe I should supplement with a top up of formula every feed. (NB I have absolutely nothing against formula and it is definitely right choice for some. However... if bf is getting established and is working OK, why on earth would I confuse the issue (and the baby) by giving bottled formula as well? Confused)

  3. Told me that the thing that finally got DH to settle when he was a baby was them forgetting to bring him (in his carrycot) upstairs one night, so he probably cried all night but they didn't hear him so he just had to cry it out and he was ok after that Hmm, so what I need to do is put her in a different room overnight and letting her cry it out.

AngryConfusedShockGrin. Once I had regained the power of speech I thanked her for her kind thoughts and advice and said I'd see how I got on for now!

I think maybe my MIL is Gina Ford in disguise? Grin

I need a bloody big glass of gin today! Skip the tonic!

OP posts:
Zara1984 · 11/11/2012 12:17

LOL yomping the line for your MIL I reckon is "thanks, opinion noted!"

My DMIL has been a trooper and very helpful by all accounts but she still makes Marge Simpson grumbles of disapproval when I do things that turn out to be right like give DS a dummy Grin she also keeps trying to get out of nappy changes on the grounds she's already done her share for 3 kids. DH and I take the line of no nappy changes, no cuddles Grin

crazypaving · 11/11/2012 12:24

Yomping Grin at MIL and Sad at taking that long to settle...it's mental, isn't it. I remember my dear, dear, dear Hmm mother telling me to put baby rice in DS1's bottle. When he was 4 weeks old and I was ebf. And when I politely told her no, she got extremely uppity, ranting about her past as a paediatric nurse (in the 1960's, mind) and my ingratitude. Sigh.

bella poor you Sad Sad You must be shagged. Hang on in there. Hand holding here.

Today is my first day not wearing tummy-holding-in-granny-style-support pants. Mistake. Where's my figure gone?! Who was asking about dieting? I seem to have lost any remnants of self control and am officially A Pig. Ate nearly half a kilo of chocolate this week, still slavering for more. My weight depresses me. Would go on a diet if I even thought I could. Oink.

crazypaving · 11/11/2012 12:24

x-post Zara - good rule!!

LoopyLa · 11/11/2012 12:44

Funny, my MIL has been utterly understanding & brilliant & not poking her nose in where it's not wanted but my mother?!! That's a whole different story!! She's already getting on my nerves, 3 weeks in of Baby Loopy's life. She's worked in SCBU for 40 odd years & had has 4 kids so I appreciate her advice when I ask for it but my god she really just butts in at any opportunity & although she's had experience of 100's of babies, she's of the mindset "one size fits all" Hmm

She actually had a bit of a go at my DH yesterday when he said Baby Loopy had been sleeping on him for 3 hours - if my DH likes the cuddles & not planning to do anything except sit on the sofa then what does it matter??? Confused Angry

She's visiting in a few weeks & I'm dreading it! Sad I used to feel very close to her but now feel I'm seeing a side of her that I'd rather not.

londonlivvy · 11/11/2012 13:22

Eek re these mother in law stories, yomping, loopy and zara. My MIL is coming for a month over Xmas (she is coming from NZ, hence the long duration). Part of me feels that it'll be good to have some help as she is young and fit (only 60) and some company too, but also feel daunted by having to fend off opinions. She feels that dummies are bad, as are bottles. We use both, once a day. Of course by the time she gets here, DD will be 6 weeks old so the whole thing should be less bad.

londonmrss I was just wondering re a growth spurt at two weeks as she suddenly seems to need to feed more often. Exhausting, isn't it.

bella hope you have had some sleep and sick saga is resolved. Hugs. Re spreading out feeds, I have tried a dummy if she's just fed for 45 mins and therefore cannot actually be hungry, but just using my boob as a dummy. But if i fed her at 10, say, and at 12 she is firmly saying she is hungry (back arching, mouth wide open and bobbing) then I figure she is indeed hungry and feed her. I have no idea if this is right or not, of course.

Re baths, we are doing it every day now that her stump has fallen off. She absolutely HATED topping and tailing and screamed her head off, hates the bath insert (plastic bath support thingy that goes in the normal bath) but loves being in the water with me or DF. Sadly she does not do the 4 hour sleep afterwards like your LO, zara.

squidkid · 11/11/2012 16:41

Mother in law madness!

I don't have any stories of my mother in law (boyfriend's mum, whatever)... because I have seen her for three hours since baby squid was born. She is reallyhard work and this is totally deliberate...

(She does tend to send my boyfriend texts enquiring about "her delicate porcelain doll" and I'm like, grrr, she's not a doll, she's a kickboxer! (I know, unreasonable reaction!))

Londonmrss · 11/11/2012 16:45

Since 5am this morning, I have only breastfed my baby- as in directly from my boobs- no bottles of expressed at all! It's bloody hard work ,but we're getting there. I'm using the nipple shield as she still won't find my nipple without it- I don't think she ever will, so may have to use it forever- but what the hell. I'm still expressing because I have a bit too much milk and I want to keep the fridge full in case she stops latching or needs top ups of expressed (or in case I want to get blind drunk sometime soon).
But I'm just taking a moment to feel very fucking proud of myself. This is such hard work, but I'm doing it.
So now I need advice... am I supposed to feed from both tits each feed, or one, or whatever feels natural? It's a bit hard to know because we didn't get the normal start to breastfeeding.

Gina Ford says that baby should be ready for 2 hours of activities from 5pm. What the hell does that mean? What activities? She eats, she cries, she shits, she sleeps. Are we expecting her to begin her phD thesis or what?

Zara, just as you plan to burn your breast pump, I'm going to have a ritualistic burning of my birth plan and also the Gine bloody-Ford book. They're both bollocks that should be totally ignored.

Anyone who feels bad about using the dummy- they are good for young babies when settling. They reduce cot death by exercising the muscles of the respiratory system (so my midwife and health visitor both tell me). Sadly my baby gives me a disgusted look of 'What the fuck?! There's no cocking milk in this!' whenever I pop the dummy in her mouth.

I miss sleep.

Woolybob · 11/11/2012 16:55

squid yay for irrational overprotectiveness! We spoke to DH great aunt on skype and she called DD 'naughty' because she stuck her tongue out. I fumed for days...

Have to say my mum has been fab and I've really needed her and had a whole new respect for her. MIL not too bad either, just keeps telling me to drink guinness...

Midgetm · 11/11/2012 16:59

Waving pom poms for Londonmrss that is some achievement. I tend to get master midge smoking cigars and having a g&t in a smoking jacket for his activity. Yes Gina ford is a nobber.

Re the boobs I find offering one boob per feed works best for me but will offer the other one too if he seems hungry still or last thing at night. Doesn't really matter though - you can do what works for you.

LoopyLa · 11/11/2012 17:35

Grin Grin at your post LondonMrss!! Love your comments on Gina Ford & the dummy - Baby Loopy also pulls a face that shows both incredulity & scepticism at the dummy - soothes my ARSE Hmm