October 2012 babies part 2: winding, yawning and grizzling, and first smiles?

[YompingJo]

Part 2: in which our babies learn to sleep through the night and make us tea in the morning

Thanks for the new thread Yomping. I share your hopes for the future!

Yay! Thanks Yomping! I love Your second title!! Baby Huffle has been asleep since 11.30. It is now 6.47...... Should I be overwhelmingly delighted or concerned?? He is still snuffling and huffling away there. Flip. Think I'll hav to lift him, this is rather disconcerting. Let the screaming commence!

Lo is just falling asleep again. Since 6pm he will eat, fall asleep for 30 minutes but will wake up 5 to 10 minutes after being put down. It is now midnight.

Thanks fr the new thread yomping

Huffle that sounds awesome! Your bean is quite big, right? Therefore it is fine. It is only with teeny tiny ones like mine that I have to wake her if she doesn't wake (not that that is a problem) to feed her every 3-4 hours.

beeble that sounds exhausting. Can you stave off the next feed by half an hour or so with a dummy? If I do this she is often more awake and feeds better at the next feed. Just a thought.

I have been going to bed for naps at lunchtime when she does, and going to bed v early 830 last night, and ha e worked out I've had about 7 hours kip over the last 24 hours. In lots of smaller segments of course, but that cheers me a bit. The mat nurse says its important to take note of good things that happen each day, or lovely moments with your LO, so as to boost your morale when you're having a tough bit with screamathon.

Morning all, love the title of this, can't wait for a smile! Baby buttons is 4.5 weeks (born 12/10) so a bit of a wait yet I suspect. Sleeping through would be wonderful too of course... But some way off if this baby follows his brother, he went through at 16 weeks! Cat napping is the answer londonlivvy you are so right, i do it now but didn't with DS1 and feel sooooooo much better this time.

Lindonmrss hope you got some sleep, poor thing. You did right thing getting some distance for while, baby will be fine crying for while. Hugs xx

Livvy so good to hear you a bit more upbeat, yay for lovely maternity nurse and her sage advice!!

Beeble That sounds tough. Can you try to wake him to feed more before putting down? Might a fuller tummy help? My monster feeder will certainly wake quickly if not ate enough or still windy. Hope you got somewhere

Mega sleeper boy has drained a booby and is asleep again. Going to risk a shower before DH leaves

X

Lindonmrss hope you got some sleep, poor thing. You did right thing getting some distance for while, baby will be fine crying for while. Hugs xx

Livvy so good to hear you a bit more upbeat, yay for lovely maternity nurse and her sage advice!!

Beeble That sounds tough. Can you try to wake him to feed more before putting down? Might a fuller tummy help? My monster feeder will certainly wake quickly if not ate enough or still windy. Hope you got somewhere

Mega sleeper boy has drained a booby and is asleep again. Going to risk a shower before DH leaves

X

Beeble was v interested to hear about the activities you listed in the last thread - where did you get the inspiration from? I'm keen to ensure that when Baby Loopy is awake & alert that I'm doing something 'developmental' with him.

Sorry. Finishing birth story here. Please please feel free not to read as tbh the purpose of this is mostly self help and I am finding putting it down is helping but is boring as hell for you I'm sure!!

So baby was out, medical team relievedly left, delighted not to take it further. MW said that I wanted a physiological 3rd stage. I actually laughed out loud and told her I couldn't push so much as a feather and to do whatever the hell she wanted to get placenta out!! Feeling of that slithering out was strangely nice.....!

She had good look at bits, surgeon came back in and said I had 1 tear which needed 40 mind surgery. Luckily got to feed bubba before they took me and flip me the pattern was set for Mr Monster feeder!!

Surgery actually took 2 hrs. dH convinced I was not comin back. So pissed off that I did it all on no drugs and needed feckin epidural for surgery!!! Discovers I also had large internal vaginsl tear and perineal one had ruptured anal sphincter.... Lot of repair needed. Think blood loss was mostly due to long surgery, almost 2 litres. Slept thru most of. Quite bizarre!

Returned to v relieved DH who was sent home by MW- still the angelic wonderful one. She took bubs away as despite modern rooming advice they insisted I needed to sleep deeply. No problemo, this was wee hours Wedbesday, been awake since Monday am!!

Next day admitted me to private room, harmoglobin hideous. 2 transfusions, loads of antibiotics and painkillers and bowel moving stuff. Total stay 5 days which were quite blurred to say the least. But my recovery was fast and impressive!! Loads of help with BF and changing and I cried when another lovely wonderful MW bathed me, I felt like a little child..... Will never forget her either.

So. Thanks for reading. My shock has settled. I was so bitterly disappointed not to hav the beautiful hypno type birth I thougt I would, I felt so let down by my body and DH will never forget the fear he felt but I am so v v v glad that I went for hospital birth and not the lovely MW unit......

Next time is elective section, should I ever do it, as they concerned about further anal damage.... Nice!

Oh and whoever suggested Tena pants, I will love u forever!!!!!! Being doubly incontinent for week was the lowest of lows but those babies saved my blushes big time!!!!!!

Now if I can only get rid of this feckin nipple thrush I will truly be over all this shite and start to enjoy motherhood!!!

Xx xx

huffle I thought my two birthing stories were hardcore but it pales in comparison. You really have been through it. After my first one I swore I would go ELCS actually I swore never again as both DH and I thought it would kill me! but for some reason I still went vaginal no idea why - mentalist anyway from all you have been through you are coping so well and I am very green at your snuffling sleeping baby

DH and I convinced master nudge gas been smiling for a while but lady night and this morning we got some unmistakable grins. I am no longer bored of newborns and have decided I will be keeping him a bit longer. for now anyway

Off to see sky fall at baby cinema. So excited - a trip out just for me. God I am a looser....

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Master midge has ......

Livvy, does that mean my little monster (weigh in today, suspect over 10lbs now ) is allowed to sleep for more than 4 hours and go for more than 4hrs between feeds if she is asleep? Where does this info come from, I thought I had read similar somewhere but have not been able to find it again to check. I've been waking her 4 hrs after last feed (back in the dim distant past of last week when she did sleep for longer stretches...) just to be on safe side. Would love not to have to, is fecking ridiculous rubbish waking up in middle of night to wake up a sleeping baby

We are beginning Day 3 of Near Permanent Grizzlathon, will it ever end?

Also, a question. Is it OK when baby is (finally) asleep for a while, to pop her (in her carrycot) in another room and watch a film? DH says it's fine and that I am allowed a break (he is worried about me) but I feel very guilty doing this. I feel like she should be with me all the time, and putting her where I can't see her, and won't hear her grizzle just before she wakes, makes me a terrible mum . I do also want her with me, and it was weird when we did this last night. The worst thing was the sinking feeling when the film ended and real life flooded back in and I realised that I had actually forgotten for a bit that I am a walking boob with constant demands on me and no life, and it was nice to forget that for a while but remembering it made me resent it properly for the first time, then I felt awful for feeling resentment! Not sure that me getting a break is worth the resentment and subsequent guilt about the resentment

New Mum Guilt Reflex fully functioning here

Yomping similar guilt here! DH will happily leave him in 1 room in carrycot, I struggle. Confession time..... I went to work on Sunday for 2 hrs to do October VAT. Odd mixture of horrified, guilty, tearful and delighted to do something so normal! DH took bubs for long walk, everyone fine!

And yes, think once bubba bigger is ok to sleep long if I happens. Not assuming that is norm, but he was ok when finally up! Fed and went back for 2 hrs more!!

Thanks Midget and others for responding to my long story. Was all a bit mad but is over and I am ok. Actually think haunts DH much more!! I was offered counselling, think he should hav been!!

Oh and baby cinema midget???? Cool! I am intrigued!!

Huffle my DH is still a little traumatised 5 years after DD1. The fear of thinking you may lose mother and baby is awful and they are also powerless. I always felt more bad for him than for me. Lots of cinemas do mother and baby screenings, they are a life saver. Odeon do them, also screen in the green.

Leaving baby in another room is fine in my eyes leaving in cupboards or another house, not fine

yomping I read it in the baby whisperer. The point is, if they are solid and gaining fast then they don't need to feed as often at night. Their stomach is bigger so they can take in more food and thus last longer. Lucky you!

huffle cripes. That sounds like quite an ordeal. I'm glad you are mending now. Indeed you must be, to be able to do a VAT return!

We leave her in Moses basket in our bedroom, though I do stare at the baby monitor like a crazy person and run upstairs periodically to check she is still breathing. I also feel guilty about resenting her at times. And whilst watching a film is good for morale, it ain't good for sleep. I am aiming to be in bed by 8pm most nights so I get some sleep during hours of darkness, even if it is very chopped up.

dD did NOT want to settle for her nap this morning, despite having yawned for ages. I tried all the soothing tips from mat nurse but no joy. I ended up going for a walk to get her to drop off. Meant no sleep for me, sadly. And means that some of yesterday's confidence has gone. Argh. Why couldn't I settle her? Also means am a bit apprehensive re lunchtime nap. Must stay calm. My sis says being calm yourself really helps. Hum. Hard to create calm if you are not feeling it.

Thanks for sharing huffle, sounds like you did fantastically to me x

I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that it's only the first couple of weeks that a baby can be too sleepy to wake for food but also not sure where! I just wake DD in the day to help with the day/night training.

We are just coming out of 48 hours of fun and games, like a little holiday back to week 1! On the plus side I am now the world authority on unblocking blocked ducts (3 in as many days ffs). Went to local bf group ans they say this is more likely with a growth spurt as baby goes boob to boob feeding more frantically and not properly finishing so I might try just one boob per feed once things calm down.

On the plus side DD seems more her usual self, had a bath with her this am (as DH was around to pass her in and take her away) which was lovely and she's started smiling properly while making eye contact which is great!

Our local independent cinema also does a mum and baby film once a week - it's in the picturehouse group so guessing they all do? Not been yet but def going to go!

Checking in and waving and marking place :) Huffle that was a hardcore birth story - hope all your poor bits and bobs are recovering well, you did amazingly well Hurrah for livvy's lovely nurse giving good advice. And yomping let the bean sleep as long as they will - ours slept 5 to 6 hours early on (just sadly not always at night) and MW said about waking, I was like yeah right because obviously I'm not sleep deprived enough... She started waking more after about 3 weeks, had a pattern of feeding every 4.5 hrs, recently been more frequent as she was having a mad growth spurt (Sat night every 2.5 hrs, aaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhh!). Back to normal now thank God, feeding every 3-4 hrs during the day.

Anyway last night she slept from midnight until nearly 6am. Unfortunately boobs were exploding by the time she woke so apparently every silver lining has a cloud...

And to offer more hope to all our lovely postman brought parcel this morning and he was so happy - their 12 week old slept for 12 hours last night! He was grinning from ear to ear. Told him I was holding on to that thought... :o

am very happy fot all those with babies who sleep longer than 2 hours at a time (and trying hard not to be jealous) the guilt is the worst thing. I am just too tired to be a character ALL THE TIME like ds1 wants. Even when we look at a book while i am feeding he won't let me just read it-he wants me to make up conversations between the pictures. Usually I love this kind of imaginative play, but am just not up to it right now. There is never ever a minute off. If baby is asleep, I have to respond to ds1's needs and try to make it up to him that I am always cuddling his brother. Dh got in at 11 last night and set off on the 6.30 train this morning. I miss him so much. Moan moan moan. Just feel so down. Sorry.

Hugs to you Bella. I honestly do not know how anyone coping with older and newborn kiddies. I honestly do not know if I could do it. Always assumed 2 children, might change my mind!!!

Thinking of you and any others in same boart, you must be so exhausted. I know we all keep saying it, but things can only get better and will all become a distant memory!! (punch huffle for that patronising pain of a comment we all sick of!!)
X

God this thread is flying-

Question, already asked but i may have missed the answer,
circumcision has anyone had it done? don't laugh you know what i mean.
why?
did you beebleb
excuse 1 handed typing

Paul is sitting on my lap facing computer - so cute (I think).

Huffel loved your birth story - ditto on the pooing and also a Tena fan here. Go girl, you may be tiny but you are impressive

Londonlivvy delighted you got the nurse. Really really delighted. A little help might be the difference between enjoying your baby or having one of the worst experiences of your life. Money well spent i think.

I also agree with your advice to Yomping, only little babies need to be woken. I don't know when they go from 'little' but I would not wake Paul now - I don't know his weight but he is 7 weeks.

Londonmrs in the sea of advice I have been given, I like the best, the stuff that comes from older generations. My childminder says, when your head is done in, put them in their cot, close the door, come away and have a cup of tea. They can come to no harm in 5 mins. Even a few mins helps.
I find if I put him down and just have a glass of water, just not to hear the screams for a few moments helps. I am replenished and able to help enormously after.

Marking place

And a quick question - I don't like letting baby squid scream but what do people do when they're driving? I just drove back from my sister's (45 mins) and she screamed the whole way and I know I haven't done her any harm but I feel wretched. She was fed and changed before we left, she just hates the car. Should I stop? (and then do what?) Should I ignore it? I just turned the music up... I feel horrible

huffle jeeeeessus you are a hero girl. Sounds like you did amazingly well... so sorry about your big tear. Have a low threshold for going back and demanding someone has another look if you have any problems, ok... often lots they can do and I've met too many people who suffered in silence

God, there's not been a lot of hypobollocks in our birth stories, has there? I feel really guilty for being a bit shellshocked after my birth now, just cause it was intense painful stop-starty and long! obviously I am a lucky cow!