April 2012 - Feeding, Facebook and finally summer!!

[Flisspaps]

Apologies for the rubbish thread title - thought I'd cobble something together though!

Sorry you're all not getting the support you deserve. My DP actually does his fair share, not bragging, just saying that some fellas do and it's not unreasonable for you to expect it. Think it helps that he'd lived alone before we met and that he went down to 0.8 at work after I went back to work after DS1, so he knows what it's like trying to get anything done with a LO around. I had a good role model in my mum; my dad did the cleaning when she was out and then hung around looking for praise and when none came, he pointed out what he'd done. My mum just smiled sweetly and said "Yes, thankless task isn't it." And when, on another occasion, he foolishly ventured "I've done the hoovering for you", she replied "And how did you know which bits of dirt were mine?". Tough cookie, my mum. Hope your various talks/shouts are productive.

I'm suffering from really bad back ache at the minute - between the shoulder blades and down to my bra line. I'm not sure if it's my sling or just the way I arch my back when I hold onto DD.

Massive lack of energy at the minute too - its not tiredness - I'm averaging 8/9 hours a night as DD is an ok sleeper - I'm just lethargic.

DD has her 8 week check with the GP on Friday, think I'm going to try and get in myself and speak to the GP/nurse, maybe get some blood tests done?

I dunno, will see.

Hi all it must be crap husband/partner week! I only see mine once a week and this weekend he wound me up so much I wish he would have stayed in bloody Sandhurst. He comes home & I'm sure he think hes a guest & should be looked after. He does nothing except create an extra plate for me to wash up! He has no idea how hard it is having a baby on ur own and when I tried to tell him he had the cheek to tell me that there are loads of properly single mums bringing up children & not going on about how hard it is, he then proceeded to tell me how tiering his job is and how he'd love to be able to - wait for it your going to love this ladies ..... Sit at home all day and do nothing like me!!! Im sure you can Imagine the response he got - it wasn't pretty!!!
We don't argue much - probably because he's not home often enough! If we do we always make up before he goes back but this weekend I couldn't bring myself to. Infact im actually still pissed off! Even when he's not being an ass & making comments like that he's pretty useless at home since the army, I know it's ruff what he's doing but he doesn't appreciate what im doing & really doesn't think babies are hard work!! (feel free to all find him on my FB and tell him hes an inconsiderate ass hole) . Iv felt really unwell today - spoke to my mum on the phone and broke down, she lives a few hours away but left work and came to see us which was very much needed as I was feeling physically and emotionally drained.

Sorry everyone's having a rough time men hey!

Ah Hayley glad your mum was able to come & see you! I've caught a sore throat/tickly cough off DH and feeling pretty rotten - annoying when the weather is so good!

I did go out yesterday & felt better for being outside but today I just want to stay in bed. Not even sure what medicine I'm allowed to take so have just stuck to Soothers & gargling with salty water.

Sorry for everyone whose DP are not being supportive- I am still amazed at how great mine is (does his own laundry & ironing, brings me tea in bed every day and is brilliant with DD, in fact she cuddles up to him more than she does me, she's a proper Daddy's girl already). I know I'm very very lucky!

Hugs hayley - it's bloody tough when you don't have any support. Even if he wasn't around but admitted how much you do would be a start. Glad your mum was able to step in.

Luckily I have no complaints about dh here. We seem to have split the care so he deals with ds1 while I deal with F. But I try to let him have a little time with F when he can. Even if it's just holding him in the mornings while I get an extra half hour. I worry that he won't bond as well with him.

Not a great night for me. F has caught ds1's cold and woke every couple of hours. I have blisters on my nipples from his growth spurt feeding so even just a quick ten minute feed is painful now. Plus F was mainly pissed off that he couldn't breath through his nose so me shoving a boon into the only bit he could breath through wasn't always welcome. Thankfully he slept 6-9 so I don't feel like utter shite, but any hope of being productive this morning has gone out the window. At least he's happily gurgling away though.

Digi, I'm sure the bonding will be fine. My DH has never changed a nappy, bathed, comforted, dressed, anything... with either of our DC, but they think the sun shines out of his backside. He's good at playing you see! I'm amazed, and a bit at how many of us new Mums (both here and my RL friends) are saying the same re DPs. Nice to know we're not alone though and can find some empathy when we need it.

Sorry to hear your Dh aren't very good, mines is Brill so I can't complain the only thing he leaves me to do is washing clothes and washing up, I sure because im not working he seems to leave it to me!

He is so good with L she adores him. he does dirty nappys and night feeds If he not working, he does DIY round the house and gardening.

Hope your mum is helping a bit hayley my mums a star too, she does loads, and takes my ironing if im struggling.

Digital my nipples were bad the other week, i tried to keep from feeding on one side and just expressed, this seem to help for a day or so! X

Well I have lost a week. I was convinced Aaron is 8 weeks, Hes not, he's 9 weeks!

Got him weighed today, he's 12lb 2oz so still on 50th centile. I measured him myself at 59cm (i know I'm not a professional) and that puts him on 98th centile. Ds1 was 60cm at 8 weeks and that was 75th centile in 2008 so babies are getting shorter lol.

Hope your dh/dps all buck up their ideas. Mine has, still doesn't do night feeds but has cooked dinner a couple of times and has done dishes without being asked, that trust me is an improvement.

Aww ladies; hope you all feel better soon. It's horrible feeling like you're in this alone! Resentment is awful & being tired is so much harder to deal with if you're not being supported. I think now is when the exhaustion is at it's worst. Hopefully those of you whose LO are still up lots at night will find that changing soon.

I honestly feel that this group of lovely ladies who are having similar experiences to me at the same time & are supportive & non-judgemental have helped me massively. Even when I haven't posted for a bit, I'm constantly reading & keeping up with you & your LO. I feel like I know you all personally!

So thank you all for sharing & making me feel like I'm normal & not alone!!

I'm lucky this time too with my partner: maybe having already done this twice my DH sort of knows what's expected. I'm cutting him slack where I know he needs it & in turn he's helping me where I need it most. It's not perfect & we've had our moments, but this is our best PN experience yet! It helps that Emily's been great at night for the past few weeks & also possibly that I've chilled out a bit & accepted that the house etc doesn't have to be perfect & DH will not be perfect either no matter how hard he tries!

Jam good luck at GP. Best to spk to s'one & get it sorted. Did you have a big blood loss after delivery? (Did read your story but my brain cells have died in that region of what's left have gotten jumbled....). Maybe your Iron or haemoglobin levels are low.

Uni thx for the nice supportive response to my moan a few pages back. I am hard on myself: I hate feeling fat & I know its v early days, but it's what makes me v unhappy. It is a real struggle having the time to exercise, but I guess if I just keep plugging away at it, it'll all click one day soon! I'm disgusted at my lack of control around sweet things, & that's where the self loathing comes in. Normally I don't diet, I exercise hard & it all falls into place (endorphin rush means I don't comfort eat etc). So i just need to be patient & accept that with 3 kids it's just not possible to have it all happen quickly!

Ps. Kat I did exactly the sane thing last week. Told some lady at the doctor's Em was 9 wks but she was 10!!! Time is flying by! Glad your anxiety is decreasing BTW..hope it continues to do so.

Think we've hit the 12 week growth spurt. F has spent all day yesterday and today glued to my nipples. He also has a cold and has had jabs today, neither of which are helping matters.

jam try googling post-partum thyroiditis and if it fits the bill, you could ask the dr about getting tested for that. It's surprisingly common, affecting 1 woman in 20. I had it (and still have) after ds1 but didn't get diagnosed until he was one. It tends to get missed b/c lots of the symptoms (tiredness, anxiety/depression, weight change, hair loss, difficulty concentrating) can be attributed to having a newborn.

jelly i know what you mean; am sitting here eating too much dairy milk wondering which of my 'fat' outfits will look most presentable for a lunch date with my stylish neighbour tomorrow. Tis depressing. I shall try to be patient too.

Uni Have just googled and it seems spot on, will definitely mention it to doctor. Thank you.

jambalaya could also be low iron. I had it and made it my mission to get as much extra sleep as possible. I'm now taking two sachets of spa tone a day. Good luck at the gp.

Totally mismanaged my feeding yesterday and fed F from my right boob at in the evening and bedtime. By 2am I couldn't sleep for my left boob straining against all the milk. Woke F up at 2:30 and dreamfed him to relieve the pressure. He did really well and took loads. Hoped he would sleep till 6 but no, woke at 5 and 7 then up for the day at 9.

Such a good day today, two of my best friends (four of us used to live together close) have just had a baby. He was 8lb 10oz and he actually makes me broody!! HOW IS THAT. I have a 9wo and together with the 4yo I don't want another. Think it's brand new baby syndrome. Can't wait to see him (but I will wait as I know how overwhelming it can be with visitors on your first).

I get fat days too jelly & uni I can't face exercise yet, I use love zumba and LBT. I might start back soon, but the thought of it now with lack of sleep might be hard. I still can't fit in my old clothes yet, so been buying new lol.

I've had two hard nights Monday L wouldn't not settle till 5am and she up at 3.15 for her feed, I fed her some more at 430, because she was cooing and shouting I think she thought it was play time- I've had 6 hrs sleeping, now want to play! :(

Last night I was the problem!!!!! she woke for a feed at 130am and settle lovely before 2, I couldn't then get back to sleep and i was awake till 330am eeeeekkkk!
does the getting up in the night get any easy????
i shouldnt complain really cos she is still going 6hrs plus!

Also she isn't liking her swing anymore and seems to sleep only on us or a moving pram. :(

jam - good luck with the GP

newmummy - it's torture when they sleep and you can't isn't it?

I've got a super fussy baby here at the moment. He cries if I take him out in his pram or sling and wants to feed all the time. I was up with him every 2 hours last night and today is a write-off so I've just climbed into bed with him and we're doing a feeding on demand afternoon. I really hope the pram/sling situation improves :(

Hiya how is everyone?
Had Noah weighed at our postnatal group today he's now 11 lbs 2 iv been sorting out his clothes and packing away all the baby ones can't believe how little he was. He's now more than double his birth weight it's crazy lol
Going to have a cup of tea and go to bed now - for 2 hours anyway lol

Xx

had the best sleep iv had since Noah came along. He went down at 10 and slept right through till 3 - woke up fed changed and was asleep again by 3.40. It's now 6 and I feel really sorry for him he's trying to go back to sleep after another feed but his struggling to push out a poo. Annoying thing Is that I didn't go to sleep till 12 but even with that it's still the best sleep. Hoping for more of the same.

Hope everyone else had good nights xx

I did! DD slept 7.30-5am - very pleased as was first night out of the swaddle and in a sleeping bag - thought we'd be up half the night!

:o :o yay for Noah!! That is fantastic news. You must be over the moon, long may it continue :) :)

Had another horrible night here. He slept for 40 mins at 10pm then just wouldn't settle and screamed the house down until 2:30 :( he was refusing the boob and wasn't doing his normal eye rubs and yawns as he does when he is over tired. He would only stop crying if I held him upright over my shoulder. He didn't seem windy (I burped him, peddled his legs and massaged his tummy). I'm not sure if it was reflux as refusing to be out on his back (we tried him on his side too) was his only symptom. Actually, he was also dribbling a bit and chewing his hand more than usual but that's normal at this age isn't it? Out of desperation we gave him a little calpol. I feel awful because he isn't quite two months old yet, but it was the only thing left to try and thankfully it seemed to do the trick and he went to sleep. He woke again at 6:30 and is now back asleep. I'm so tired and stressed :( I hate seeing him so upset.

Well done to jambalaya and hayley's star sleepers!

Leaking boobs this morning after F slept 7-3:30. And that's only coz I was desperate to feed him and relieve the pressure in my boobs. Blisters still there too .

A neighbour has offered to babysit tonight so am hoping F will go down at 7 again - although last night was a one off so it's unlikely. I'll be very happy with 8 though then we can pop out for a little drink and be home by 10:30 and still get a few hours before the early morning cluster feed starts (this week it's been around 3am/5am/7am/9am).

That's Brill news Hayley and jambalaya too. Its lovely when they sleep for a while.

L went to bed at 730, did last bf at 710pm. I thought she would sleep till 1am or 12ish but woke up 11pm!
I was planning on bed at 1030 and id just expressed both boobs.I Didn't get to sleep then, she woke up at 11. So i was up feeding her till 12, she seem upset that they wasn't too much milk in the boobs, and fustrated! Id expressed off 5oz. Poor thing! then she woke again at 430 for another bf. Luckly had more milk by then. When back to sleep till 8. So another hard night for me! :(

Francesca's not doing to bad on the sleep front, goes through till around 5-6am but we give a dream feed whenever we want to go up to bed, usually about 10.30, so I really can't complain. I'm not sure if she is perhaps sleeping too much in the day as she is only really awake for an hour and a half before needing another nap so I might try stretching her out a bit.Had her weighed today and she is 16lb 2oz and was 12 weeks yesterday, she is on the 98centile for height and weight so she doesn't seem destined tobe a dainty ballerina type. Seems really odd to have such a big baby this time as her brothers were a tiny 2lb 15 oz and 3lb 3oz! On the plus side I have had fun shopping for more clothes as she is heading towards the next size up.

I feel like a new women :O

Lyra slept 7.5 hrs from 845pm-420am She didn't wake for her 12-1am feed. I then fed her at 745am and 930am. I did a bit of cluster feeding before she went to bed. Bath and massage! That might of helped? I think 830pm bedtime seem to suit her! Gonna try to stick to that. Still doing 7 bf per day, Still crying with wind and tummy cramps from forcefull letdown! I spoke to bf counsellor on Monday and she said there is a product beginning with "C" she couldnt remember the name! Its a bit baby gavisgon and its better that infalcol. So will see her again on Monday, hopefully ill find out what it is!

L tends to sleep still quite alot in the day sometimes she has a couple hours napping and other times just little 15mins-half and hour. I call these cat naps. Lol. Doesn't really make a difference to night time sleeping.