fab feb 2011 ladies getting back in shape and sleeping till ten-yeah right!

[eggkr]

Hi all as im up first most mornings i thought id start a new thread before i bury pil under the patio

Morning ladies,

deb hope Mr Deb feels better soon at least you have an excuse to make him have a shower

four4 yuck to the nose surgery. I remember at primary school a boy in my class stuck a rubber down his ear and had to go to hospital to have it taken out .

ponyo thinking of you

ledkr good luck with the 'diet'

Thanks for all the comments on DH. I went on just wanting to know if this was normal behaviour as DH behaves like it is and I'm making the big deal, I came away worrying I was in an abusive relationship!! . Don't think I am, think DH just has issues and I need to be more vocal about being upset by them and see how that goes.

Well, Alices pet trick of throwing everything down the stairs has now progressed to throwing everything that will fit out of the cat flap

Gtg - MIL has arrived half an hour early to take over looking after Alice while I go to work again. It's not even like she's [Alice] awake - she's sleeping. I'm trying to get ready!!

My mum always arrives early Reastie. She can't stand being on time or late for anything, she's ALWAYS early. Last week she kept turning up about half an hour early to look after L. I went to toddler group on one of the days and left early so that I would be home for 11.30 ( I only need to set off from home at about 11.45) and she was ringing me saying, "where the hell are you?" WTF woman! She was sat outside my house in her car!

Hello, I haven't been on in ages, a mixture of a really busy time at work, and Mr W working all weekend.

ponyo I'm so sorry about your Dad sweetheart, I'm sure others have said it better but my heart goes out to you and I'll keep you all in my thoughts. No matter what your relationship was in the past, he'll always be your Dad and you must miss him so very much xxxx Only had a quick glance but I've taken mine to family funerals, although I have posted that before on MN to be told that its different if you're a Catholic and especially an Irish one . I have posted Mr W on the end of the aisle with orders a request that he take A out if it all got a bit much. Much love and off to catch up xx

Hello everyone,

Have tried to catch up with everything, I think but apologies if I miss anything.

Reastie, and at Alice with the catflap! We keep having to search B's room for anything important as he has started to hoard things in there (remote control, door wedge , our clothes...). She is certainly showing her intelligence there!!! Boo to your MIL again not letting you have a breather before work. My mum now turns up late for B which is also a bit frustrating but think I prefer it this way!

Four4, I am mightily impressed with your home surgery skills. Do they run courses in that area of medicine? My old bf was forever getting things stuck in her and her in things iyswim. I remember once taking a hand saw to a remote control that she'd somehow wedged her fingers in and no amount of butter/ oil would help me to pull it off. I feel the need to point out we were about 17 at the time She always ended up in casualty with peanuts up her nose, a chocolate matchstick in her ear etc, she's still a bit odd tbh!

debka, OMG, 5.5 stone? That is incredible, are those size 20s starting to get a bit baggy now? Bet they are!!! Was there any reason you went to a different sw this week?

Ledkr, welcome back to real food! There's no way I could live without toast, I don't know how you managed a week! Good luck with losing the last dress size. When you think how big your stomach was with dilly at the end of pregnancy you've done amazingly well already. I'm finding the last stone really hard to shift prob cause I can't be bothered to shred

wiggles, hope you get some rest sometime woman!

i had a great weekend with db, we took B out to an Italian for dinner on Saturday night and it was hilarious. We've taken him there before as the family that run the place are great and love babies so don't mind the mess too much. He ate soooo much, and started drinking water from a glass as he wanted to lick the ice cubes. He also managed to pull the glasses off the waiter's face

Might try a new playgroup tomorrow but I get al nervous about going to places where I don't know anyone so will see how I feel in the morning [pathetic mum emoticon]

[stamps foot] seriously no talking if I'm not here

debka well done on the weight loss, oh and I finished the Hunger Games books, I loved the last one but cried from about three quarters onwards

RobinSparkles when Sofia was about this age, she split her front tooth in two, a big crack down the middle. She was leaning against our headboard on the bed and slipped. Her big teeth came through no bother at all

ledkr at Es souvenir from the farm , yes we have several similar things!

reastie Anna puts everything into the washing machine, its an insurance claim waiting to happen , so far I've washed 2 matchbox cars and several tissues [grr] She loves wiping her own nose, I'm hoping to progress to bum soon

deliaskis come here 'til I box your ears , as long as C is babbling you've nothing to worry about. Seriously my best friends little boy has a very severe speech delay and there was no babbling/talking/noise at all. He is very introverted and almost in his own world. Babbling is good, babbling is great

NeedToSleep glad you'd a lovely weekend, we occasionally go out with my parents for lunch and the waitress used to take the babies for a little walk while you ate - it was bliss, she's not so keen now, looking at A trying to climb up the tv with her hand in her nappy I can't think why not

I took the girls to the zoo on Sun morning, thought of you Four4Me, of course after I'd schlepped them all in, paid , it was also raining, the first thing they see is a common every day rabbit just running free and they get so excited "Oh look, Mum a real live wild rabbit, we've never seen one" , this feckin' rabbit is the highlight of their day, never mind the actual animals I've paid a small fortune for! Oh and ledkr we came home with colouring books, yet another small cuddly rat like creature toy and a hand puppet that roars, I'm convinced I actually have duplicates of the zoo toys somewhere But we had a lovely day and the weather picked up.

Just off to get the boys from sports club and taadaa surfer dude Archie is walking, all over! He is wandering around shouting 'Joe Joe!!' Joe will be delighted. Oh and he had a mini tantrum this morning, maybe the worm has turned

Go Archie!!!! Well, maybe not with the tantrum though...

Hi all, I am still reading up just not up to posting much, met the 'ow' today, she came to mine, talked about the funeral and what to have/do etc. My mind keeps going blank when I try and think of things, me and my sis are going to go to dads house and meet the vicar and ow on Sat and have a chat. Shit First time I've met her btw, shes nice (of course) and was v upset (of course).

at wiggles girls and the rabbit, so funny. Hope you're not too run off your feet at the moment.

Oh and re: funeral, don't think we will take A. No other children are going. Just need to figure out what to do with her now :)

reastie ha at A and the cat flap, A chucks stuff down the stairs through the stair gate and then cries b'cos she wants it back

Robin ooh L slipping in the bath and chipping her tooth made me cringe, yikes. A always stands in the bath now little bugger, I'll have to tell her what might happen! Hope she sleeps well tonight for you.

Eek better go and pick up dp and A, back later xx

Yay well done Archie! One more for you to chase around 44me.

Wiggles at the girls at the zoo! Hope you are feeling better in yourself?

Ponyo- do you feel better having met the ow? Can you gat a friend to bring Anya to the wake after the funeral? I had my little nephews at Zoe's wake and it helped me immensely ( especially when my dn was talking to and hugging Zoe bear telling it he loves it very much and how he hates the angels for taking her away). I really do hope you are ok, I have been thinking about you non stop. X

Four4Me yay for Archie "Joe Joe" that's so lovely

blizy [cocks head sympathetically ] I'm grand, feel a lot brighter this week, although that might be because Mr W has nipped home earlier than expected and just as well because we were trying to make Sofias rainforest for her homework. I'm soooooo not good at that kind of homework

ponyo well done on meeting ow xxxxx

Ponyo, thinking of you, it must have been so strange to meet her like this. How are you feeling now? Is your sis nearby so you can support each other? I think blizy's idea about the wake is a good one. I took b to my friends wake and his partner was so pleased to have a cuddle with him. Anyway, know that we are all thinking of you and post when you can xxx

Deb, didn't mention the killing earlier, sorry you found the ending a bit , I must admit I loved it. The second series is just as good too. I am currently enjoying silent witness and have a huge crush on Tom ward who plays Leo....

Thanks folks, just wanted to add that funeral is about an hour and a halfs drive from mine, it's in Warwick and don't really have anyone who can have A then bring her to the wake after. My sis is staying with my mum atm (near Coventry/brum)

Its confusing. I do appreciate what you've all said though, blizy aww at your dn, so cute

Ok ladies, no more mention of the killing, I seem to have completely missed that it was on tv so will have to catch up on dvd. I've been avoiding all comments on here on it so far - so please mention not of anything that happens after this message

ponyo that must've been really weird for you meeting ow. Hope all of the organisation of everything is going OK. I remember going with my Mum to organise a distant aunts funeral a few years ago who I didn't really know to keep her company/give her moral support but I didn't realise how much there is to choose and think about.

wiggles a rainforest? oh and to the zoo tat toys

robin it's so annoying re: coming so early isn't it

Gosh ponyo that must have been a big step to meet your Dads wife/gf/ow. At least it's done with now, but I'm sure with the funeral there is so much to think about. I hope you are OK x When you talk to the vicar ask him what he thinks re A, lots of churches have the little creche/play area at the back and maybe one of your rellies will be able to play with A/distract her? Sorry if thats a useless suggestion, been thinking about what you could do.
four4 yay for Archie!
wiggles My DCs usually buy plastic snowglobes or fringed leather bookmarks - and when they were smaller they usually tracked down some sort of plastic sword/bow and arrow set. Which were then deployed on the way home, against one another - the joys....
robin ouch to chipped tooth, hopefully won't be noticeable.
Feel like I'm skiving, house is quiet, DP not back from playing football yet, so MNing with a cup of tea. Altho did referee a screaming match between DD1 and DS a few mins ago - apparently DS is 'disgusting' for leaving the bathroom in a mess, and DD is a 'hypocrite' and a 'fat liar'. They used to adore one another, now its like Battle Royale in our house...

Mizk I live battle royale

Hmm, love obviously!

Glad you are doing ok ponyo and meeting her wasn't too difficult. I wish I was near and could help look after your lovely Anya for you. Thinking of you all.

robin nightmare about Lottie slipping in the bath, poor little thing. Hope the tooth is ok? I'm always telling mine to sit down in the bath.

Glad the girls had fun at the zoo wiggles about the rabbit!! Isabel used to live in the flats opposite to the zoo entrance, her ex still lives there. The view is amazing from there. When we were at the zoo the male Lion was in a real bad mood, roaring his head off. It was spine tingling and quite sad all at once.

mizk loving the squabble stories of your big ones. Although probably not funny when they are your own. I'm sure they'll come full circle and be really close in a year or so. All Tom and Joe bicker about is tv channels. Thomas is obsessed with the crystal maze re-runs on the challenge channel (and bullseye, and play your cards right etc etc) it drives Joseph mad, he is more of a Deadly 60 boy

needto I love watching Silent Witness dribbling over Harry . Hope the playgroup goes well, good luck.

Hope mrdeb is better?

Hi to everyone else blizy, ledkr, tad et al

Forgot to say reastie I read your thread and think that some of the posters are so helpful to people in crisis. But don't think you need to be packing your bags yet. You need to be very clear with dh when he has upset you by being shouty. He shouldn't be acting like he has around A. Hope you are ok? We are always all ears for you. Xx

Hello, have been busy the last couple of days and have been thinking hard about reastie's post. As you know, my first marriage was v abusive and violent and a couple of things really stood out from your posts. He makes you cry, but you seem to take a lot of the blame for the incidents yourself. It seems that he takes no responsibility for his anger, doesn't want to change and therefore you hide yourself away so he doesn't see you are upset by his outbursts. Are you worried subconsciously about his reaction to this? (My exh would be absolutely enraged if I got upset about him shouting at me and would get more violent. I'm not saying yours will).

Secondly I am actually very concerned that his lack of friends will really isolate you from anyone. He could say that all he wants is you, why do you need to see anyone else, you feel a bit guilty and cancel the arrangements you had and eventually stop being invited anywhere. You can see how this goes. From the other things you have mentioned about him, I don't think this would be a deliberate tactic of his as it would be with a real bastard, but it most certainly would not be healthy for Alice to see her parents never socialise with anyone else or to see her mother almost cut off from others and resenting it.

Ledkr is unfortunately 100% right about the shifting goal posts. You just end up normalising everything. You need to have enough respect for yourself to tackle this part of your relationship. You say you will muddle along for now. What if the next time he smashes something, Alice trips and cuts herself? I don't want to be the harbinger of doom, but accidents like that happen in a flash. Perhaps you should tell him all the things you love about him and then bring up your concerns so that he doesn't go on the defensive. Just remember: everyone deserves to live without fear. {{hugs}}

Ponyo, best wishes with whatever you decide on the funeral. Thinking about you too. {{hugs}}

Robin, sorry about the tooth. Debka, well done on the five and a half stone! Four4, well done Archie!

This post is enormous, so will just say hello to everyone else.

Morning all,

reastie hope you're ok sweetheart :) Great advice from *t

robin at tooth, poor little thing! Mine always stand up in the bath, but we have a bathmat so I don't worry quite so much.

Mrdebka is fine now, it was just a 1-day-er. Think Imy's getting another cold though .

I ate crap all day yesterday, seriously chocolate and crisps every time I passed the kitchen, and felt so so rotten. Why do I do it??? I wonder if I'm borderline diabetic tbh, I just hope that my (normally very) good diet and weight loss are staving it off.

reastie - tadjennyp said what I was trying to say, but of course more eloquently. On a completely different topic, did I see reins on Alice in one of your holiday photos? I suggested getting some to DH and he was about it, but L is a mover to hates to be carried. I tried him in the wrap but he just kicked the front of my thighs and tried to dive forward out of it.

robin - Poor L and her tooth!

deb - I find the same when I eat crap, it's like a sugar hangover.

Ponyo - still thinking about you, how brave to meet your dad's partner. Do you think you'll stay on good terms with her or go back to normal after the funeral?

It's been raining for 3 weeks solid, I don't know how much more I can take. Hope you're all enjoying your hosepipe bans down south.

Tad, what fantastic advice for Reastie. I didn;'t know you'd been through such a hard time Tad, you've definitely come out the other side!

Ponyo, you are so brave meeting the ow, well done to you. I hope your managing ok, it must be quite emotional to meet her, let alone to discuss funeral plans.

Robin, ouch to L and her tooth. A girl at Rainbows last night had a massive black and purple bruise on her eye where she'd fallen off her bed and hit her radiator. I almost vried with the thought of it!

American, think we're supposed to get one months worth of rain over the next 5 days, bloody rubbish weather! Tho I am hoping all the arain comes now as we're off to EuroDisney next Thursday - yippee!!! And I figure that the weather in Paris will be much the same as here.

Need to and Four4, I too love Silent Witness but love Harry not Leo. Its his voice its just so distingtive and yummy!

Hi to everyone. Back to work now, will catch up later

tad Well done. I was also in an extremely abusive relationship so i do find it hard to be objective for Reastie.

He pulled my hair when id been with him a few weeks and i brushed it off. He didnt like me seeing friends or family and would rip up my clothes if they were too nice. He slapped me next and then hit me about a year into it.I thought he would change as he made my nose bleed but he didnt.

The violence was worse than i care to share on here and it has taken years to get over it.

I am very keen to bring my dd's up to never accept this and that is what would worry me about dh shouting or being agressive to them.

reastie I do agree with Tad about confronting this behaviour rather than just brushing it to one side. Its easy to just want everything to go back to normal after someone you love has shocked you with their behaviour but dont do that.
Womens aid arent just refuges,they can provide counselling and support for women who are not sure how to jusdge their partners behaviour and help you to put some prespective on it all.
I know you are probably sick of hesaring about it now and wish you had never posted but id had cancer and nearly dies at your age so dont waste any of your precious time being an less than happy and contented.

I will shut up about it now but never feel as if you cant discuss it again with us just because we have said this. No matter what happens keep things in the open.

tad very eloquently put thank you ladies for all your advice and I'm so sorry some of you have had to go through such horribleness . Tbh I don't usually go back to normal after dh has upset me, I usually sulk as long as I can manage - yeah, really mature me . But from dhs perspective if he didn't always know he upset me he probably just thinks I'm a moody madam. Now I know this [dh] isn't usual behaviour I feel I am justified in being annoyed and need to let him know when he upsets me - definitely a good thing for me to write the original post, the comments and advice has been far more amazing than I thought possible in helping me, so thank you.

I am attempting getting Alice to nap in her cot. Not going well. Does anyone else have a baby they have to always settle to sleep all the time or is it just me? I honestly can't remember the last time I put alice in her cot awake and she self settled - it's been sooooooo long. I usually have to drive or walk her to sleep for naps twice a day and feed her to sleep in the evenings. I have no idea why I thought this would work. I'll probably just take her for a walk in a minute poor thing, I just get so tired and frustrated with having to get her to sleep.

In Delia speak a cr@p day at work today. Accidently without realising got a colleague in trouble with the head , had awful class who were in a naughty mood and all the stress with Granny being so ill now. She is on morphine and sedatives. Oh, and of course the weekly stress level increased with MIL coming yesterday. OK, I know this post is very me me me but would appreciate how I can appear mature and not petty with PIL issue. DH has asked FIL to make a bench for DH for his bday using a frame we have. DH tried to arrange him dropping off frame to PIL but FIL days he wants to come over at the week end to see said frame, and the obv another week end come over to do this work, which will mean 2 pil visits at week end, totalling 3 out of 4 week ends with them (DHs bday lunch is in 3/4 weeks). I've said to DH I'm unhappy that PIL will come over so much and it's not necessary for them to do the work here - it means DH will end out helping out when the whole point of FIL doing it is so DH doesn't have to do DIY (which he hates). DH has rung PIL 3 times to ask if he can drop the frame to them to do and every time they have said no they'll come here it's easier (for who?!), so DH going along with them (a la ledkrs dh). This week end it's FIL with his other dgc and next time doubtless for the long section of making the bench mil will come too. Would IBU to take alice out somewhere for the morning while they come? If so, WItBU for DH to be annoyed at me for taking alice out when PIL are due over? Do I look petty for taking her out when PIL are coming over given DHs and my past of arguing over PIL? And, where on earth can I go .... Very dull I know so feel free to ignore

ponyo thinking of you

Argh, alice still crying in cot, gtg take her for a walk and be back later

Reastie- sorry you add feeling so stressed, your poor granny, I hope she is not suffering.
I would take Alice out for the morning when pils come, is there a hell soft play place near by you could visit? Or just a nice walk at the park?