The brookers post graduate thread

[hawthers]

We've got so good at brooking no argument for no pregnancy complications and sneeze births, we're going for our Phds in big fat babies

Hello
Popping in to join you guys.

Well done on the fattening up of babies too and biscuits

I'm pleased this morning as my little twin, Ben, has not only escaped re-admission for being below 2.5kg, he's put on 200g in 3 days, so now above his birth weight on day 8 and his brother is not far off his birth weight. constant, constant bf with two though....

Sure most of you go on the ante natal thread, but hoping our very stressful post natal period will calm down a bit now. Dh has more tests at the hospital in 2 weeks but nothing til then. I still don't feel great but not taken the anti emetics today and not been sick again. Couldn't face that, oh the agony of vomiting 6 days post CS....

So, I feel slightly better today but am mostly a hormonal, exhausted mess at the minute... How long before I have to snap out of this!?

So hi all, will try n keep up on here!

Hi, Dream lovely to see you! It took a good couple of weeks for my hormones to settle, much longer than last time. I just realised I had been feeling better for awhile, so it was subtle. It coincided with not being in so much pain as I was necking codeine and paracetamol for a while there. Also you have so much going on it is no surprise if you are still feeling ropey.

Well done with the BF you are doing so well with your clever boys! You know it will get easier as it did with our DD so hold onto that and how amazing it is that you are sustaining two little lives all by yourself and it is going so well xxx

dream - wow on the boys weights! That's incredible. I cant even imagine bf two! Do you feed them at the same time or let them demand as each wants? How is your dd doing with their arrival?

Just be honest with your hormonal self, it takes as long as it takes! I've been okay this time but was bad post dd and ended up hiding it so it lasted longer.

Abbie is starting to space feeds out a bad. Is this normal purple at six weeks? Boobs feel engorged and leaky again. If she's just catching up on sleep post cold rather than naturally spacing feeds will I have a supply issue?

Am I over thinking this?!

Now I go to feed her sometimes when she wakes and she doesn't want it yet - finding it weird I think after her manicness about the boob until now!

It is an old model bee. I've already replaced the chassis once and this time I think it's the seat... The double iCandy got a puncture this am too. Dh despairs of me and wheeled things as my car is always bumped and scratched too. So I would be a pram hun but am always breaking them so would be a rubbish one!

Pomme You need some slime for your air tyres go to local bike repair shop and they should have some. For your bee seat bugaboo have a little known spare parts shop that is new expensive, might be better off splitting parts up and selling as old bees sell for about £150 now.

How often is Abbie feeding? Definitely normal if she starts to space her feeds a bit. Express if you get engorged, so your comfortable. Your supply should be relatively stable, but see how you go. She will feed more when she needs to to boost your supply.

So this is where you all are...

Hi scarlet will be no time til you are here! I am here more now as can only do one thread at a time and crap at that!

Pomme you don't happen to be near peterborough do u? They have an ex display double vibe for £199 in the Mothercare, ex display hence cheap.

I have a pile. I made it through the whole pg and birth without getting any and now when I thought it was safe tag, you're it! Had curry for tea - ouch!

I'm struggling with the feeding tbh. I have to tandem feed when they wake together, I couldn't take one screaming waiting... And so true, not enough hands. I get one on my pillow and on, then grab number two, literally, who gets miffed at rude dragging onto pillow. Usually knock happily feeding twin off by twisting too much to accomplish this anyway, or worsen latch at least. So now either spraying one with milk everywhere and two cross babies, or sore feeding from one. Get twin 2 on. Hold heads as both need some support so can't mn or eat/ drink yet (sure that'll come when they're a bit bigger but no help now) . Seb vomits. A lot. So intersperse feed with taking him off to wind to prevent/ reduce vomming, and Ben off to.wind as he gets upset and can't carry on feeding and enter the logistical nightmare... Plus Ben doesn't like rugby hold much. Both very windy and hard to wind.

Also. Both poo when fed, so always have two nappies to do after every feed, and often outfit changes. Better now I bought Ben some prem nappies as the size one are just too big, but not cured. so i spend all night feeding, changing nappies, re-feeding/ settling and find the feed process takes 1.5-2 hours each time, so sometimes I've not even lain down before it begins again. Plus sore, sore nipples from poor latches I can't sort.

Have had another very hard night of constant feeding so I'm not feeling very positive, sorry.

Brave to.go.out at all too, well done you!

Now I've fed one baby, can't face the other yet, going to lie down and wait to.nearly drop off just as he wakes...

Oh Dream, sounds really hard going. Is there anyone who could help you latch at least some of the time? Ie, put baby no 2 on for you, while you concentrate on keeping baby no 1 in place? Even if DH/your mum could help you get good latches some of the time it would help your poor sore nipples. Also, you need a nappy-changing bitch! Is your DH any better? Or if not him, then perhaps your mum/dad/friend - anyone you can rope in. Now is not the time to have to go it alone. Oh, and I find it really helpful to get DH to burp Maia for me. It just feels like a rest to spend 2 or 3 minutes watching someone else burp her!

Mum told me that she and Dad both got up for every feed when we were tiny - he would help her get us both on, and he did all the nappies. I think you need that level of assistance, if at all possible, while they are so small and you're still recovering from your section. Maybe you could have shifts of helpers - daytime helpers and your DH could help at night. Don't feel like you ought to be coping alone!

You are Superwoman and you have been doing a great job getting little Ben to put on weight beautifully! You can do this, you just shouldn't have to struggle alone. I know your DH is ill too - if it takes a village to raise a baby, now is the time to call on your village. Even if it's just getting a friend round for a couple of hours to play with DD and do some nappies/burping/changing for you. When did you say your nanny person starts?

I hope I've not made you feel rotten - you are doing an amazing job and I don't mean to imply that you aren't coping, because you clearly are doing brilliantly. I just hope you can find some ways of lightening the load a little.

Dream you are amazing!! You're doing do so well. I do agree with everything Too says though. If you could get DH or someone to help you latch on that would help? Even if just to hold T1 steady while you latch on T2? If you could get a better latch that would obviously help with the sore nips but might help with making them less windy too? I do know how hard it is though with a bad latch - ds1 had one until his tongue tie was sorted at 8 weeks. And ds2 is struggling with his latch at the mo because of a cold so when he wants to take a breath he loses his latch . And that is nothing compared to trying to feed the two of them at once. I wish you lived here - I'd come round and help. 4 babies between

Oops accidentally posted. Not sure where the '4 babies' came from?

Anyway I agree with Too also that even if someone else could do a nappy or burp that would make it seem less 'constant' perhaps? It must be hard though with DH poorly too . And then they go back to work and have to sleep to get up for work. But DH here gets up to do the nappies for me on a Fri and Sat night and it does feel like such a treat. Even though I'm still up to feed. And with you it would be less of a treat and more of a necessity. Also two pairs of hands would make it quicker? Eg, burping one, someone else changing the other etc?

Also I have to agree that as Too says (I could have just copied her post ) this isn't meant to sound in anyway like you're not doing the most amazing job ever. I'm very proud of you!

Oh, I just wondered - you know on the rugby hold thing and Ben not liking it, does he like one side better than the other? With twins, can you always feed one on one side and the other on the other or are you supposed to swap them? . Would anyone on the twin thread, or a bf counsellor have any suggestions as to how to get them both on tandem, you know perhaps suggestions for cushions etc? Sorry if you've already gone down that road. I just wish I could fix it for you xx

The bf lady suggested feeding individually and having Ben not rugby ball... Helpful. And typically, as she arrived I was feeding both myself ok, though I did tell her how sore I was. In the day, and last feed dh or a parent do mostly help get them on, and then will grab one to wind and replace as needed. It's the nights which are killing me. Plus they say as Ben is little, he has a physically little mouth so keeps sliding off even if someone helps me latch him on initially. And no nipple can ever have a break!! Ben does get banned and switched to the other side when he's made one side too sore. Don't know if i should or shouldn't give them a designated boob each?! Dh is still feeling weak, achey and knackered. I want him to be able to recover so think he needs his sleep at night. It's just hard now so i keep up the 'this too shall pass' chant!

Quick post. Dream these early weeks are the hardest it will get easier. In my area we try and buddy a twin mum with a twin mum, is this at all possible? I wish you were near me to so I can help :( (And buddy you up with a twin mum peer supporter.) Have you been using lansinoh? Also feel free to find another bf person if you don't like the one you have, it is important you get the support you need. This may help you find other local support Try and be kind to yourself, your doing so well :)

I just woke up E up by sniffing him . Just got a whiff of that gorgeous baby smell and couldn't stop myself having a good old sniff, but woke him up - ooooops!!

Hawthers here trying out a name change to be slightly less traceable previous nickname was totally transparent!

dream you are doing an amazing job. It's hard enough with one so to manage two you are doing incredibly well.

All fairly calm over here we seem to have found a routine which works for us. And both its seem fairy happy although DH and I are still bickering a fair bit.I blame his new job nothing to do with me, no sirree

I did a massive DP order using those codes,so thought I would share the two bf friendly items I am keeping + the look nice esp the dress!This dress and might get another colour, nips in at waist and flares so skims the mummy tummy v. nicely! and then this cowl neck top, has a zip on the shoulder so you, v easy access I also found that stripy top in pink but it is going back as the zip doesn't lie nicely,it is ruckled! And the are both so cheap!

Pink top

Perfect for those with high up nipples Pomme :o

purple- not near Peterborough unfortunately! Abbie now feeding every two-two and a half hours which seems soo much longer than before but actually isn't very long at all really I suppose! She's very quick which makes me worry she's not getting all she needs.

Thanks for the clothes link will take a look. I just ordered lots of h and m basic tops to do the whole pull up and down thing.

dream - I have no advice other than each day gets you nearer things being easier. And never turn down help! I, like, biscuits would be round with lots of food and treats in a shot if you weren't so far away. You're doing amazingly. Did you ever get on to home start in your area?

Calm day again today here. Dd1's little friends bday party this am/lunch and then chilling at home this pm. May even attempt double bath in a bit.

Did remember that next week all the groups we go to start again - gulp! Properly back to real life!

Oh forgot to add - sympathy to too on the pile!

Yes, big sympathy on the pile too & how wrong it should turn up now!!! I am sure it was a hard.time straight after Maia's birth, with it being so close to thea's. I'm not surprised your grief re-surfaced majorly, and grief plus post parting hormones must be so hard. Thank goodness for beautiful healthy Maia. I am just like you though- crying at the thought the hat might be dropped, but without the justification...

I'm looking forward to groups being back on, bit more normality for DD, though from how hopeless I've been this week I expect it'll be my parents taking her, not me. I feel like such a terrible mother to her because I've barely played with her since I've been home- too sore, feeling too sick or feeding feeding feeding...can't even type that without crying, oh the GUILT!!! She has been having 1:1 all day every day with daddy or one of my parents but not me... I do cuddle her a lot, and have her on my knee but we were so inseparable before and I miss her.

purple I know this twin mum whose girls are 5 days older than my boys but she has her hubby helping every feed-& hasn't started tandem feeding yet, her dh pacifies one each time- parents cooking for them every night and no other children. So while its lovely and we do sometimes text each other at 3am while bf its different circumstances. We've been lucky and been brought meals so far, pasta and sauce otherwise but I'm a bit jealous of all her help!!!! I have similar with my parents but choose for them to be with DD and take her out etc.

dream - I so get where you're coming from with your dd. dd1 had felt like my little chum/companion for a long time, just her and me doing our thing and with dd2 arriving it got totally smashed. We are now getting towards feeling close again (nearly 7 weeks in) but obviously not the same inseparable way. She has grown up a lot in the last two months and I am very proud of her.

I did get upset about it but coming to terms with it now. I picked a couple of things to hold onto - I still always put her to bed and we have the same breakfast ritual. Also a whole host of family took her to groups before the Easter hols so don't fret about that at all!!

I would come round too if you were anywhere near, Dream! Sounds like your DH and family are being great. So it's the nights that are worst - are you totally alone at night (ie, everyone else asleep)? It's really terrible that your DH is so ill right now, because I completely see your point that he needs to sleep and recover, and that your DD needs him during the day. And with two to deal with you can't MN for support in the middle of the night either. I woke DH up a couple of times when he had been sleeping sweetly through the night feedings and changings and cried at him/picked a fight/handed him Maia and made him walk her around. I felt so lonely and overwhelmed in the early mornings, and that was with just one.

too I wouldn't worry about leaving maia (still LOVE the name) in her car seat for that long. It's not ideal but as long as you don't do it every day I'm sure its fine. I've been meaning to say that I've been thinking if you as it must be difficult to fully enjoy m whilst grieving for thea. You strength blows me away.

dream where do you live? Can you hint in a subtle way? I'm in the big L so if it is at all accessible from here I could come out bearing food products and assist promise I'm not a wierdo internet stalker during the day which might make the nights slightly easier...?

I know what you mean about feeling sorry for your first child. It is so tough on them but you are giving them the gift of siblings and give it a few months it really will calm down and you'll have some time back with your DD. At 15 weeks DS1 is the cutest big brother and has done some amazingly cute things in the last 24 hours alone. Plus f naps mire consistently so there is time to do one on one stuff with him. And I'm finally back to equal status with daddy in his eyes. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it will get better. And I'm brooking no argument on that.

Well, last night was particularly bad, with babies feeding hourly, DD up for 2 hours, lots of nappies ( though not breaking my 7 pooey nappies record between midnight and 7am of the other night). I made dh help more though, so today we have two totally knackered parents instead of me totally knackered and dh more functional. While it was much better and less lonely for me I'm not sure it'll last/work. Oh well...

too I'd have done the same, assumed would wake up, leave in car seat and anyway, I think the sleep for you is worth it!

neverenough, I'm north west. Only an hour & quarter from Scottish border, so bit too far from you!!

I'm so relieved pomme that you and neverenough feel similar about dc1. And that family took your DD to playgroups. I spent more time with mine yesterday & picked her up 9 days post CS , at the expense of no rest for me, but feel marginally better about it all. And hopefully it'll be great when they play together in time...