The brookers post graduate thread

[hawthers]

We've got so good at brooking no argument for no pregnancy complications and sneeze births, we're going for our Phds in big fat babies

A selfish post but I can't take much more.

Twins have screamed or fed for 4 hours. I am so sore I can't describe. My temp is 38.8. I feel dreadful and exhausted. I am not only not enjoying every minute, I'm hating most of it. DD not asleep and she is screaming too. We've tried everything. Nothing working. Dh sat with her for 2 hours. No joy.

Absolutely at my wits end.

Oh Dream I really hope you're not ill, if anyone deserves a break it's you.

Scream yay for your mum. Let's hope tonight is the night that you get some sleep.

My DS still naps for 2 hours most afternoons, bless him. It's never impacted on his bed time. I'm not expecting to be so lucky with DD. She's already showing signs of being less chilled out than he was. In fact I was just saying to DH how alert she is in comparison.

DH back at work tomorrow. I feel quite tearful about it. He really has been fab, I've done nothing apart from feed DD for the last 14 days. He's done everything round the house plus made it as fun a time as possible for DS, we're really going to miss him. How will I cope when DS wants something now if I'm feeding DD?

Oh nearly forgot to say. We had our first trip out as a family of 4 to our local shopping centre. My shoes finally fit and. I even managed clean hair and lipstick!
Also I did my first ever public BF, I feel a lot more confident now.

Sending lots and lots of hugs to Dream. I can't even imagine such a difficult situation. All I can say is remember you are giving all of your LOs the absolute best care, and sometimes babies just cry anyway. It is not your fault! They are all healthy and well-looked after, it's just one of those awful days. I'm sending you every ounce of No Brooking and support that I can, I really hope all 3 of them settle down very soon and you get some rest tonight. Also No Brooking for you to feel better asap, without ever really getting ill.

Scarlet I'm glad your DH has taken such good care of you all. I definitely share your dread of the DH return to work! Today was okay for us despite the long tiring night. I wouldn't have thought I'd get out with DD in the morning, but I did and I felt better for it. Keeping my fingers crossed you'll have an easy transition as well.

I wrote a long post at 5 am and lost it... Brief summary is:

I hated the baby whisperer. It made me feel so inadequate with its problem lists- I think it told me my problem was accidental parenting?? Anyway, it didnt work for me as DD always fell asleep feeding, and after I spent hours on the shush-pat to help her settle and got totally anxious about Doing It Wrong and why wasn't it working, and tried her tips to no avail I gave it all up.

From what I can work out, every book, be it gina Ford, baby whisperer, no cry sleep solution etc advocates a routine. So we did a 2 hourly one, set bedtime routine etc etc but of our own making.

However, pets success clearly shows every baby is different and hooray for self settling, long may it last and I hope it carried on all night.

Still feel rough today but not as bad as yesterday. Going to miss DT2's hip ultrasound though I think and rearrange. We don't think his clicky hip is anything anyway.

Erm, forgot the rest but this has become quite long anyway...

Dream I'm so sorry to hear how hard things are for you. Can't believe you're ill on top of everything else. Wish I could help in some way. Can anyone take DD and the twins out for 2 hours today so you can try and nap? Am in Yorkshire otherwise would be tempted to come round myself!

Not a great night. Started trying to settle DS at around 7pm and by 11pm (after further feeds, nappy changes etc) he finally fell asleep. For just over an hour. On the bright side, I didn't cuddle or feed him to sleep. But when he woke just after midnight I did crack and hold him from then on. And fed him three more times, which I'm sure he didn't need. But I again spotted sleepy cues this morning after we got up, and have eventually managed to settle him again (only took 1.5hrs) without him being on my breast or chest, so I think things are improving. I hope.

Scream your mum sounds fab! Good luck without DH today - let us know how it went. By the way, is your local common one with a windmill and Roman camp on it? Don't worry if you don't want to say, it's just that I grew up near there.

Biscuits hope poor little DS2 is doing ok.

And Scarlet your DH sounds wonderful! Well done him for being such a superstar. can I borrow him? I hope all goes well for you when he's at work too.

Yeah Dream I'm not sure everything in the Baby Whisperer will work for us but I do think some of it is helping already so I'll persevere and see if I can improve a few obvious things (like DS not sleeping by himself). I think the pattern she suggests is led by the baby's cues so if it helps me to understand what he needs that's got to be a good thing. But I totally agree that every baby (and family) is different and also what seems to work one day might not work next week! Ah, the joys of parenting...

Props to scarlet's dh. he sounds lovely. As does dream's dad by the way!

I am so jealous of the napping toddlers! Dd1 gave up naps at 19 months and goes to bed at about 6.45 and is up before 6.30 every morning. She could power the national grid as well.

I've had a weekend of good sleeps (bed at 7, wake her up to feed 10, feed at 2/3am then wake up 6-6.30am) so tonight she's in her own room! I'm not taking the travel cot down just yet as it may be a phase but I'm sooo ready to have a slightly more grown up bedroom again...

I also think maybe two's enough now.

dream - glad you're feeling better. Eye on the prize - twins at 6 months will be fab xx

Morning all.

Scarlet - sounds like your DH has been doing a tip top job - well done for having him do well trained! please will you train my DH for me? Good luck today though with him being back at work. CBeebies has been my friend in making it 'fun' for ds1. Well gradually there's less babysitting by Sid and the dang and more actual patenting by me but that's where we started. Reading books is a nice activity for ds1 too which doesn't involve you moving too much and could maybe be done while dd is feeding? I have to confess to be a little that your DS still naps . I think pre-school in the afternoon and moving up a class at nursery where they don't nap put an end to napping here for ds1. Oh well.

Dream how can you be ill as well???????? That. Is. Not. Fair. As Pomme says there will be an end to these days. You're probably 5 weeks in now? You're doing so well. I did wonder though - temperature and sore boobs - make sure there's no blockages as we don't want you to get mastitis . I mean we don't want you to be ill at all of course.

Pomme how did it go with dd2 in her own room? Ok I hope? Sounds like her sleeping is doing well too

Ds2 went to bed at 8 ish last night after a feed, woke at 11 but went back to sleep with a cuddle, then woke at 1:30 for a feed, woke at 4 but went back to sleep and then 4:30 for a feed again. Then he's been a bit up and down since 7 ish but I'm pretty proud of him for that given his poor little head is covered in chicken pox . I think he actually has it worse than ds1 had it. His body isn't too bad but his head..... It just breaks my heart - he looks so fed up with it all . And I've had to miss Ds1's hospital appt today as we obv couldn't take ds2

I wonder how Purple is doing? And Fishcake?

Pet sounds like that book has some good ideas for you. I think as you say all babies are different. We tried GF for one morning before I dissolved into tears, yet I have friends that swear by it. I think any of these books will suit some babies more than others, it's just a matter of finding the book for you . I read some of the baby whisperers toddler stuff though and it seemed quite sensible. Is it her that does the pick up put down sleep method? Is that the same as the shush pat?

Scream - yay for sleep! How did last night go? Hope you got your four hours?

Hawthers hope all is well with you.

Myth if you're lurking hope all is well with your gorgeous dd

Please feel free to edit out my typos as you read that post

Dream, I'm so sorry you're ill :( I really hope that, as PetWoman suggests, you have someone there to help you out and take the pressure off a bit today.

Biscuits, so sorry DS2 is suffering so much too. How long has he been suffering - any signs of it clearing up soon?

Scarlet, hurrah for your first family trip out :) Sounds lovely!

Scream, hope you got your four hours sleep!

Hope you don't mind me lurking. I'm really hoping to join you all soon..!

Yes Biscuits the 'pick up put down' thing is the Baby Whisperer. Think she also mentions 'shush pat' but not sure that's very effective at the mo for us. During the day the 'cuddle better then put down' thing is definitely working for us - DS is having his second nap all by himself in his basket. Hallelujah. At night - not so much. Probably because I haven't got the patience to keep at it!

I feel so sorry for your poor little poxy boy - do hope he gets better soon!

Musical hello! I'm new and looking forward to you joining too when your LO arrives. Good luck with your sneeze birth!

Pomme please remind me, how old is DD2? Hope she takes to having her own room and you get some good sleeps.

Damn damn damn. Dog barked at man at door and woke up baby. :(

Right. I have been productive this morning. Managed to get the dts out in time for Ben's hip ultrasound. Fine, as expected, but good to know. Raced over to playgroup to see DD who'd been taken by my mum. She was really pleased to see me and got to play with her so was worth it. I feel a bit better today. I think you might be right biscuits, maybe a blocked duct? I still feel a bit sick, achy, no appetite (& I'm been insatiable!) but only a slightly raised temperature. I can't get the dts tandem feeding well and think their crap latches are blocking ducts. Though when i had mastitis with DD my boob was agony, I couldn't move my arm away from my side, plus the flu like symptoms. So I'm not sure if its a coincidence and I've got a virus, or if its bf related. I've got a bf person coming out tomorrow anyway to hopefully help.

Good skills with the naps pet . Think the only way I'd get that with DT2 certainly is tummy sleeping. I put refluxy DT2 on his tummy at 6:30 this morning as I knew I'd be up with DT1 and he happily went to sleep!! I just don't know if i dare though, I'd never forgive myself if he had a cot death... I know the numbers are so small but still...

scream, have you disappeared with all the energy of 4 hours sleep?!

scarlet, lots of people seem to have a box of feeding entertainment- books, puzzles, little toys etc that they only bring out when feeding to entertain their eldest. Maybe try that? Glad your feet have gone down. Hope its going ok without your dh.

Still not getting a whole lot of sleep but f looking nice and podgy so the high calorie milk looks like it is doing the trick. Back to see the dietician on Wed.

However feeling really glum today as some vague relations are going through what we went through with ds1. They came yesterday for some reassurance but it looks like things are worse than ds1 (and he was bad accordig to.his consultants) and so it appears chances of survival are slim. They seem rather upbeat but knowing what we know I think its bleaker than they anticipate. Obv can't tell them that as we could be very wrong. Totally shit

Well I'm on my phone and I've had baby brain for months so I'm not likely to remember everyone I want to respond to, sorry in advance!

Pet I totally agree with the point you made about the value of learning your baby's cues. I'm pretty certain Autumn has been trying to give me a whole range of cues, and I respond to them all with food! I just don't know any other way to settle her at the moment. I'm hoping at some point I'll increase my repertoire of responses!

Dream whatever has been causing your temp and achiness, I hope it passes asap! Sounds like you've had great day, well done for getting to Ben's appt on time! I've been late for everything since PFB arrived! Hooray for getting a chance to play with your DD as well!

Pomme so are you serious about 2 being enough? Were you originally planning more? 2 is a great number by the way, I'm just curious as to why you've made that decision now? If that's not too nosy!

Biscuits how is DS2 coping with cp so far? Poor little guy. How much longer is it likely to last?

Last night was heaven. I fed DD at 11, then went to bed. DH didn't hand her over to me until SEVEN! I couldn't believe it when I saw the time! Apparently she's a Daddy's girl, in that whole 8 hour period she only woke once for food, so she only ended up drinking one of the two bottles of ebm I'd left for her. ONE feed!!! She never does that when I'm looking after her! It was great though. From 7 she was up until ten so we played together. She slept from 10 to 11 and then came out with me to meet my NCT group for lunch in the pub and she was up the whole time! A bright-eyed 2 week old sitting on a pub table - starting her off early!

We had a mw appt when we got back, and she's put on the perfect amount of weight, which is reassuring. So all in all it's been a good day! Now for a relaxing evening, fingers crossed!

I think I need to be a little stricter with DD at night though, seeing as she clearly is just suckling for comfort rather than food. I'm going to try harder to settle her without offering food tonight, and also try to get her to eat more when she does feed. Somehow I expect this is a battle I'm going to lose though...

Hawthers I'm so sorry to hear about your relatives, that sounds so tough. It must bring back difficult memories for you as well. Sending lots of hugs your way, and No Brooking that things turn out better than expected for your relatives.

We're going to need a new thread soon, people. 993 posts!

Hawthers, so so sorry for your relatives. No Brooking for some improvement and a happy outcome. FX. Is there anything the doctors can do?

Scream, yy to meeting all M's cues with food! Am beginning to worry that she's feeding out of boredom because I'm not entertaining enough and this is the beginning of a lifelong dysfunctional relationship with food. I've also stopped trying to put her down during the day because she keeps waking up again, which means she sleeps on me. I must try harder.

Biscuits, poor E! I hope the cp buggers off soon.

Dream, how are you feeling now? Really hope you're better. Yay for getting to play with DD.

DH's depression is flaring up again and we're all struggling. I can't pamper him because I generally have a baby attached to me, and I wish there was some way of helping him, but I can't find it. M didn't help tonight by starting to scream and vomiting on him the instant I passed her over.

Big hugs to you and your DH Too. My DH suffers with similar issues from time to time, and I know how it affects the atmosphere of the entire house. It doesn't help that he comes from a soft, gentle, kiss-it-better kind of upbringing, so that's what he's looking for when he's down. Whereas my background is much more tough love, dusting yourself off and getting back on the horse, kind of style. So my "bracing" attempts to help him out often don't really help the situation :( It doesn't help when you have a newborn and tiredness is a trigger... No Brooking for your DH to feel more upbeat, and soon.

I forgot to say to Pet before, there's no roman camp on the common near my house. Not sure which common you're referring to but how awesome to have roman ruins?! Sadly mine is just grass and trees!

Go dream! You are super mum.

hawthers that must be hard. Brooking for them.

too - sorry to hear about your dh. Will he get pharmaceutical help? I think supporting him and m at the moment will be very hard on you.

pet - grr! Hate the phone/door nap destroyer!

We had a good day today, play group and friends round. Dd1 was entertained and happy and dd2 was great. Tonight is first night in cot - she went down fine so fx for rest of the night!

scream - I've always thought three but knew I would have some convincing of dh to do. Now I am thinking of all the things I want to give (in both time and opportunities) the two I have. I also am not keen on being pg again with all the drugs/scans etc. it also appears dh knows me better than I think and I am starting to plan returning to work 1/2 days a week in the autumn...

I'm sure i posted one night. where did it go?

all ok here, bit more sleepy and DS2's wee bum is a state despite steroid cream from doctor. might have to go back to doc. feel so guilty about the poor wee mite. :( it's just what i didn't want, actually bleeding like baby DS1's did.

will try to catch up and respond during the night!

How are we all this evening?

Jaggy poor DS's bum - hope it starts to improve soon . Would some nappy free time help to let it dry out a bit? I'd go back to the doctors and see if there is anything else they can give you for it?

Hawthers so sorry to hear about your relatives. Am really hoping that it turns out better than hoped for them. As Scream says it must bring back some pretty bad memories for you and DH too - thinking of you all :(

Glad to hear that DS2 is podging out nicely - that's really good news - well done little F :)

Too sorry to hear about your DH :( Will he need meds? (Apologies if that's a stupid question - I don't really know what I'm talking about). You guys have been through a lot though in the last year and that must have all come crashing back to you all in the last few months so you both must have taken a bit of a hammering emotionally. Hoping that things take a turn for the better soon xx

Scream what an amazing night you must have had!! Well done Autumn indeed! Like you and Pet I'm starting to realise that every noise isn't necessarily hunger and last night I managed to settle DS2 a couple of times without feeding. My plan is to try to settle each time without feeding. I'm finding he calms down within a few mins if he's not actually hungry (not back to sleep, but calmer iyswim). If he doesn't calm down then I feed him.

Dream what a productive day you've had! Well done indeed for getting everyone up and out in time for that appointment. That is no mean feat! And how lovely to get to play with dd - that must have been a treat for both of you :) Also glad that DT2 (was it 2? Or 1? Is that S or B?) was given the all clear on the hip. Nice to know for sure that it's nothing to worry about.

Hope you're feeling better though Dream - has that temperature gone yet? Do hope so xx

Musical how lovely to see you - look forward to it being a more permanent sort of situation :) Good luck with your sneeze birth when the time comes xx

Scarlet how did it go with DH back at work? Hope you've all been ok today. Is dd still doing ok now the ABs are a thing of the past? How are you doing yourself? Hopefully your wound is healing up better now?

DS2 is still spotty. Even this afternoon there were still more spots coming out. He's not so bad on the body / limbs but his poor head and round his neck :( he seems ok I think with it though. Ds1 didn't really get that itchy which was super lucky and I'm hoping ds2 shares the same luck! Scream apparently the spots can keep appearing for 3-5 days and then they take another 3 or so days to scab over. We're on day 3 at the moment. For DS1 it was a week from the first spots to all being scabbed over and then one week further along most of his scabs are healing up nicely.

Hope everyone else is doing ok and all those brooking babies are going to sleep nicely for their mummies and daddies :) xx

Please step this way for the new thread!

Hawthers that's so sad for your relatives and it must bring it all back to you too. I hope things aren't as bleak as they sound.

Glad F is looking chubby!